25. Zander
25
ZANDER
“That’s it, babe. Just like that,” I whispered, running my hand through Luka’s soft hair as he lay between my spread legs, lazily sucking me off.
It was our day off since the shop had closed early for the holidays. The Christmas party was tonight, and the next day was Christmas Eve.
Luka had stayed over last night, the same as he had every night this week, and we’d woken up with him tucked up against my side and holding me like he never wanted to let go.
Instead of getting up, I rolled him over and took my time teasing every inch of his body until he was feral with need and begging me to blow him.
When I finally gave him what he wanted, I took my time, luxuriating in the knowledge that we didn’t have anywhere to be for hours and we could take our time exploring and worshipping each other.
After making him come so hard he shouted my name, he flipped us around and was repaying me with the same slow and torturous sucking I’d done to him.
Luka opened his eyes, his gaze meeting mine, as he popped off my dick and grinned.
“What’s that look for?” I ran my thumb over his lower lip. It was slick with both spit and precum, his skin kiss-swollen and red.
“I could suck you for hours.” He leaned down and licked a slow stripe up the underside of my cock. When he reached my cockhead, he ran his tongue around my crown, then curled it around my shaft and mouthed his way down my length.
I groaned, scratching my nails over his scalp in a way I knew drove him crazy. “I doubt I could last that long. You’re so good at this, baby. You look so hot down there. Do you like sucking me?”
He let out a low moan and swallowed my cock until it was pressing against the back of his throat.
“That’s it,” I murmured, letting the pleasure wash over me in gentle waves. “That feels so good.”
He moaned again, the vibrations moving up my dick and sending shivers down my spine.
“Good boy.”
He pulled about halfway off my dick, moving so slowly it took everything in me to not thrust up into his mouth. When he paused. I thought he was going to finally start sucking me in earnest, but he just popped off me and bent his head to tongue one of my balls.
“Fuck, you’re good at that,” I groaned, spreading my legs a little wider in invitation.
We’d experimented a bit with ass play after he rimmed me. He used his tongue and his fingers, but he seemed content to stop there. He said he enjoyed teasing me and making me feel good, but he didn’t want to top me. I’d happily switch things up if he ever changed his mind, but I didn’t know if he would.
Luka ran his tongue down the center of my sac, then pressed it against my taint, tonguing the sensitive spot and leaving a trail of fire in its wake.
Needing more, I tilted my hips up and let out an embarrassingly loud moan. He took my hint and dragged his finger over to my hole as he licked around my cockhead.
“So hot,” he muttered, his hot breath ghosting over my wet skin and lighting me up from the inside.
“Fuck, Luka,” I said on another loud groan. “That feels so good.”
My cock ached with need, my balls heavy and already high and tight against my body, and I had to fight the urge to take my dick in hand so I could finally come.
Luka must have sensed I was close and pulled off me, a big smile splitting his lips. He looked so happy, so relaxed and full of joy, that my heart clenched and my breath caught. Luka was always beautiful, but in that moment, he was radiant.
“I love you,” I blurted just as Luka sucked my dick back into his mouth.
He let out a strangled sound and lifted his head, my cock sliding out from between his lips obscenely.
I hadn’t meant for that to come out, but now that it had, I didn’t regret it. I wanted him to know, even if he didn’t feel the same.
“I know sex is the worst time to say that,” I said, running my fingers through his hair. “But I was watching you and thinking about how much you mean to me, how beautiful you are, and I just couldn’t hold it in anymore.” I gave him what I hoped was a reassuring smile. “I’m not expecting you to say anything, and I understand if you’re not there yet. Or if you never get there at all.”
Luka blinked at me a few times, then got up on his hands and knees and crawled up my body so he could kiss me.
I sank into the kiss, holding him close as he ravaged my mouth with deep, drugging kisses.
“I love you too,” he whispered against my lips, then kissed me again.
I let out a sound that was half-surprised, half-giddy, and a whole lot of weird. Luka smiled against my lips and kept kissing me.
When we finally pulled apart, we were both breathless. I was still hard as a rock, but I ignored my aching dick and ran my gaze over Luka’s gorgeous face. His big, beaming smile melted into an impish one.
“What’s that look for?” I asked.
“You just told me you’re so in love with me that the words just tumbled out. That’s pretty awesome.”
“It’s true.” I gave him a quick kiss. “I love you. I know it’s fast, but you’re it for me.”
“You’re it for me too.” He pressed a soft kiss to my lips, then laid his head on my chest, his ear over my heart. He did this when he was feeling overwhelmed or his thoughts got too loud.
I hugged him and let him process.
“I’ve never felt like this before,” he said softly, nuzzling into my chest like a needy kitten. “I’ve wanted to tell you for a while, but I couldn’t get the words out.” He huffed out a soft laugh. “Very on brand of me.”
I ran my fingers through his hair, hoping to soothe him. “I’ve felt it for a while too. I just didn’t say anything because I didn’t think you were there yet, and I didn’t want to make you feel like you had to say it if you didn’t feel it.”
“I feel it.” He lifted his head and pressed a kiss over my heart.
The tender look in his eyes melted away, and he closed his mouth over my nipple, sucking and biting the sensitive bud.
I groaned and arched into him, pressing my dick against his.
“Is that a hint that I should finish what I started?” he asked, a wicked grin on his lips.
“I mean, it’s right there and waiting for you.” I bumped our dicks together, barely managing to sound normal and not like I was about to lose my mind if he didn’t get his mouth on me again.
“What is?” he asked, his face the picture of innocence as he reached between our bodies. “This?”
He gripped my cock and gave it a few hard strokes, his grip perfect but still not enough.
“Yes.” I bucked my hips a few times, forcing my cock to slide through his hand.
Grinning like he’d just won some sort of prize, he let go of my dick and kissed his way down my body.
“How fast do you think you can get hard again?” he asked, dropping little kisses along my treasure trail.
I ran my fingers through his soft hair. “You want me to fuck you?”
He lifted his head, a familiar smile on his lips. “Yeah. After you come down my throat.”
“Fast enough. You’d better get on it.” I let go of his hair and slid my hands behind my head in a casual pose.
Grinning, he pressed a kiss against my cockhead, then took me into the wet heat of his mouth.
I lay back, enjoying the blowjob and the look of bliss on his face as he moved over me. He truly enjoyed making me feel good, and I planned to make him feel really good as soon as he was done working his magic on me.
“Are you sure you want to do this now?” Luka asked as I parked in front of my mother’s house.
I nodded, understanding his concern. The staff Christmas party was in a few hours, and we were already planning our big reveal to our coworkers then. Having this conversation with my mother now wasn’t ideal, but there was never going to be a right time, and I was done waiting.
“Good luck.” He gripped one of my hands in both of his.
“Thanks.” I shot him a smile, but it felt more like a grimace.
He gave my hand one more squeeze, then let go so I could get out of the car.
The walk up to the front door was only about twenty feet, but each step felt like it took Herculean effort, and I was visibly shaking when I rang the doorbell.
I’d texted to tell her I was stopping by but hadn’t given her an exact time, so it took a moment for her to answer.
“Hi,” I said dumbly as she held the door open so I could step inside.
“What’s wrong? Why do you look like you’re about to faint? Are you sick?”
“No, nothing like that. I just need to talk to you about something.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and gave me an expectant look. “Okay. What is it?”
“There’s really no easy way to say this,” I started, amazed that my voice wasn’t shaking like the rest of me.
“Say what?” Her tone wasn’t confrontational or exasperated. She sounded worried, which threw me off enough that some of my nerves disappeared.
“Do you remember when you asked me why I haven’t dated anyone since Ivy and I divorced?”
She nodded, her brow furrowing in confusion. “Are you two getting back together?”
“No,” I said quickly. “That’s never going to happen.”
She dropped her arms, her stance less defensive. “I don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me.”
I pulled in a deep breath to center myself. I wasn’t going to get anywhere trying to ease her into it. I might as well just say it.
“I never dated anyone after we broke up because I’m not interested in women.”
Her forehead wrinkled and she pursed her lips, her expression a strange mix of confused and wary.
“I’m gay,” I blurted.
Silence stretched between us. I held my breath as Mom’s expression shifted to one of surprise, then disbelief, and finally into what could only be described as resigned acceptance.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
I gaped at her. Was I sure? That’s what she wanted to know? No lectures about sin or yelling that I wasn’t her son anymore?
“Um, yeah. I’m sure.”
She nodded slowly, and I could practically see the wheels turning in her head as she took in my answer.
I braced, waiting for her reaction.
“Okay.”
All the fight rushed out of me in an instant, leaving me dizzy and off-kilter. “What?” I croaked.
She lifted her shoulders in a shrug. “Okay. If you say you’re gay, then that’s what you are.”
“I…I don’t understand.”
She pinned me with a look. “I didn’t give up everything to raise a fool. If you say you’re gay, then you are. And if you are, that means God made you that way. Who am I to question His plan?”
“But I thought…”
What the fuck was happening? Had my mother just accepted my sexuality? This couldn’t be real, right?
“You thought I’d be like Coralynn when she found out about Abbie?”
I nodded woodenly. Coralynn was one of my mother’s church friends, and Abbie had been one of my classmates until her mother shipped her off to live with her grandparents in Wyoming after Abbie was caught kissing another girl in the tenth grade. Coralynn didn’t talk about Abbie anymore, and everyone in the church pretended like she never existed.
At the time, my mother had praised Coralynn’s actions, but that was almost fifteen years ago. Was it possible she’d changed her stance on things?
I quickly cycled through my memories to make sense of what was happening. I could recall a ton of times in my youth when she’d ranted about queer people and accused them of destroying the sanctity of both family and marriage. But those rants had stopped when I was in my midtwenties.
She’d never said anything supportive about the LGBT+ community, but she hadn’t said anything disparaging like before.
“I don’t understand it, and I’m not exactly happy about it,” she said, breaking me free from my thoughts. “But I’m also not completely surprised.”
“You aren’t?”
She shook her head. “You’ve been single since your divorce. I hoped you’d meet a nice woman who could be a proper partner and wife to you, but after so many years of you not showing any sort of interest in women, I had an inkling that you might be…like that.”
“And you’re okay with it?”
She shrugged. “I don’t really have a choice, do I? I don’t understand it, and I’m not ready to be…involved in that part of your life, not yet, but like I said, who am I to go against God’s plan?”
I had no idea what to say. I’d been prepared for this to be my last conversation with my mother, but she not only accepted it, it seemed like there was a chance she might actually be okay with it someday.
“You told me this for a reason, didn’t you?” she asked.
My mother was smart, and even with our differences, she knew how I worked. Of course she’d realize there was a reason I was breaking my silence now.
“I’m dating someone.”
She nodded, her expression a bit pinched but not judgmental or disgusted like I’d expected. “A man?”
“Yes.”
She nodded again, slow and rhythmic, like she wasn’t aware that she was moving at all. “It’s serious with him?”
“Very serious. I love him.”
She gave me a tight smile. “And is he a good partner to you?”
“Very much so.”
“I assume you have somewhere to be?” she said suddenly.
That was her way of cutting the conversation short.
“I do, yeah,” I agreed, not wanting to push my luck.
“Then I won’t keep you.” She gave me another tight smile.
“Bye.”
I managed to not run out the door and walked to my car at a normal pace, my head spinning and the dizzy feeling from before lingering.
“Babe?” Luka asked as soon as I slid into my seat.
I started the car and shook my head. Knowing my mother, she was looking out the window, and I didn’t need her seeing me break down in my car or Luka comforting me.
“You’re scaring me,” he said when I pulled away from the curb and drove to the end of the block. “Babe?” he repeated when I’d parked again.
I cut the engine and leaned back in my seat. “I’m okay. I’m just processing.”
Luka took my hand and threaded our fingers together, giving me a moment to get past my shock.
“She accepted it,” I said, my voice strained and weirdly monotone.
“She did?”
I slid my gaze to his. “Yeah. I told her, and she asked me if I was sure, then said okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah, like, literally said okay.” I blew out a sigh as the last of the adrenaline and shock bled out of my body. “It’s still a little bit of a blur, but she basically said that if I say I’m gay, then I am, and that means God made me this way, so it’s not her place to question it or something like that.”
His eyes rounded comically. “Seriously?”
I nodded. “She also said she kind of suspected this, with me not dating at all after Ivy and not showing any interest in women. I think that helped her not freak out. But I still can’t believe it. I was so sure she’d disown me, or at the very least, cut me off until I changed my ways or whatever. But she just accepted it, accepted me.” I shook my head, a crush of thoughts hitting all at once.
“Babe.” He squeezed my hand reassuringly. “You know how she’s your only blood relative?”
I nodded.
“That means you’re also hers. Maybe she’s just as scared about losing you as you are about losing her.”
I paused, digesting Luka’s words.
“I think you’re right,” I said slowly. “One thing she said tonight was that she didn’t give up everything to raise a fool. She might not have wanted me, but she kept me. And even though she doesn’t say it often, she does love me.” I huffed out a breath. “I have no idea what things will look like going forward, but I think everything will be okay.”
Luka beamed at me, the happiness and joy in his expression helping chase away the last of my shock, and I smiled back.
Still grinning, I leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss against his lips.
“Are you okay to drive?” Luka asked when we were sitting back in our seats.
I nodded and turned the car back on. “Yeah, I’m good now.”
Luka’s warm hand encircled my thigh as I put the car in gear, and I felt lighter than I had in years now that the weight of my secret was gone.
I had no idea what would happen when her friends or the rest of the church found out about me, but it didn’t really matter anymore. I had other people in my life who cared about me.
Hopefully my chosen family wouldn’t shrink when we told everyone at the party tonight.
“There’s no way.” Isaac shook his head emphatically. “Nope. I’m calling bullshit.”
Asa shrugged and stuck his hands in his pockets, his expression completely unbothered.
“Yeah, that innocent shit doesn’t work on me.” Isaac looked between me and Jamie. “Someone back me up here.”
“Children,” Dev said, coming to stand with us. “Do I need to separate you?”
“Ask him.” Asa flicked his gaze to Isaac. “He’s the one crashing out.”
“And why is he crashing out?” Dev asked Asa knowingly.
“That might be because I told him humans have unique tongue prints, not just fingerprints,” Asa said.
The corners of Dev’s lips ticked upward, like he was trying not to smile. “Is that so?”
Asa nodded. “And I also told him that humans know what the texture of most objects feels like on their tongues, even if they don’t remember putting the object in their mouths.”
Jamie, Isaac’s best friend and boyfriend, snickered. “You’d be surprised at what Isaac’s put in his mouth.”
Isaac elbowed Jamie, not taking his attention off Dev and Asa. “And I’m calling bullshit. That can’t be true.”
“It’s true,” Asa said in that casually neutral way that drove Isaac crazy. “Have you ever licked the claw of a hammer?”
Isaac slowly shook his head.
“What about a brick?”
He shook his head again.
“Now think about what those would feel like if you did. Can you imagine it?”
Isaac’s eyes widened. “Holy shit.”
Asa’s smile went a bit wicked. “The things I could tell you about the human body would melt your brain.”
Jamie slung his arm over Isaac’s shoulder. “I’m pretty sure you already melted his brain. You good, Z?” He gave Isaac, who still looked completely stunned, a little hip check.
“I don’t know how I feel about this,” Isaac said. “Like, it’s cool, but it’s so fucking weird because now I’m going to think about licking everything I see until it gets out of my head.”
“I miss who I was before this conversation.” Dev shook his head solemnly, even as he tried to hide his smile. “And I really hate that I have to say this, but no putting anything in the garage in your mouth if it’s not food.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure he doesn’t go rogue and start licking any of the equipment in here,” Jamie promised.
“And I think that’s my cue to not be part of this conversation,” Nate said from behind me.
I glanced over my shoulder at him. “Be thankful you weren’t here for the whole thing. Believe it or not, that wasn’t the weirdest part of it.”
Nate bit back a grin. “With those three, I believe it.”
“Why do you look like you’re in the middle of an existential crisis?” Luka asked, coming to stand between me and Isaac.
“Because I am.” Isaac shot Asa a glare, but we could all see there was no heat behind it. “You did that on purpose because you knew it would drive me crazy.”
Asa smiled innocently and gave Isaac a little shrug.
“Is Asa messing with your head again?” Cass asked Isaac, squeezing between Jamie and Dev.
“Always,” Isaac grumbled.
“Good job.” Cass gave Asa a thumbs up.
“Traitor,” he tossed Cass a fake glare.
“So how did you break his brain this time?” she asked.
“Trust me when I say you don’t want to know,” I cut in.
Cass studied me for a moment, then nodded. “Roger that.”
Dev pulled out his phone and checked something. “Jesse and Sebastian are here,” he said to no one in particular.
“I’ll go let them in,” Cass spoke up. “Let you weirdos finish whatever you were talking about.”
Luka glanced at me, his expression tight.
I tried to keep my emotions off my face and project calm to him, even though my nerves had been battering the hell out of my stomach since we got there.
We decided to tell everyone right away instead of dragging it out and waiting until the last minute. Waiting would give us a chance to chicken out, and this wasn’t really something you dropped on people at the end of a party when they were about to head home.
Jesse and his boyfriend were the last to arrive. It was now or never.
Luka and I turned our attention back to the conversation, which had thankfully shifted away from tongue texture.
I tried to follow what people were talking about, but it seemed like there were three separate conversations going on, and I’d missed the start of all of them. Instead of trying to catch up, I greeted Jesse and Sebastian, only half aware of the conversations around me, and focused on not freaking out.
There was no right time to do this, and waiting for the perfect segue would only prolong things.
Instead, I waited until there was a break in the conversation.
“So, um,” I started when everyone fell silent for a few beats. “I wanted to talk to you guys about something.”
There were only nine people in the room, but it felt like I was standing in front of a massive crowd with how bad my nerves were right then.
“Or not really talk to you about something, more like say something. Or explain something,” I babbled like a moron.
“Is everything okay?” Dev asked, his face full of concern.
“I’ve never heard you talk like that.” Asa studied me closely. “You don’t babble or stumble over your words, ever. You only talk when you’re fully in control and know what you want to say.”
“I’m definitely not in full control now.” I tried to smile at Asa, but it probably looked more like I’d smelled something foul. He was right. One of my many coping mechanisms was to shut up when I felt like my words weren’t coming out right or I wasn’t sure what to say. It avoided unnecessary conflict and embarrassment. Two things my introverted self hated.
“But are you okay?” Nate asked, echoing Dev’s question.
“I’m fine,” I assured him. “It’s just… I guess I kind of have an announcement.”
Luka slipped his hand into mine. We agreed that I’d do the talking since I’d known everyone longer, but even after spending hours running through this moment in my head and practicing what I’d say, I was flubbing it at every turn.
I held his hand tight, grateful he was taking the initiative and helping me out. We’d be here until New Year at the rate I was going.
“Wait,” Isaac said, his gaze flicking between our hands and our faces. “Are you two…”
I nodded, glancing at Luka. His cheeks were a bit pink, but that was the only outward sign that he was probably internally panicking like me.
“Really?” Cass looked between us.
“Yeah,” I muttered.
“How long have you been…” Dev glanced at his brother, who looked just as perplexed as he did.
“Officially, just over a month.” Luka squeezed my hands so hard my fingers cracked.
“And unofficially?” Asa asked.
Out of everyone, he was the only person who didn’t seem to be in shock.
“About three months, but it’s complicated,” I said. Hopefully that was enough to keep their questions at bay.
“Seriously?” Isaac asked. “But I thought both of you were straight.”
“So were we until a few months ago,” Jamie pointed out. “Or at least we thought we were.”
“I’m bi,” Luka said. “I just wasn’t out until now.”
“Same with me. The not being out part,” I clarified. “I’m gay.”
Saying those words to my mother had been terrifying, but even with their shocked reactions, it felt good to tell our friends. Like I was finally shedding the last of the persona I’d spent my entire adult life trying to project.
“That’s really not as shocking as it should be,” Jesse said, his gaze locked on me. “I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.”
“Right?” Isaac agreed. “Like it’s so obvious now that you say it, but I had no clue.”
“That was by design,” I said.
A look of understanding crossed Isaac’s features. “Your mom.”
I nodded.
“Why don’t you look shocked? Or even surprised?” Cass asked her dad.
Nate glanced at me, his question clear. I nodded.
“I already knew,” he said. “Not about them, but I knew about Zander.”
Cass glanced at Devon. “Same with you, Uncle Dev?”
He flicked his gaze to mine. I nodded again.
“Yeah,” Dev confirmed.
“You’re not surprised,” Luka said to Asa.
“No,” he said simply. “But I would be if I hadn’t come by the shop earlier this week.”
“Earlier this week?” Luka and I asked together.
“When I stopped by to talk to Dev. I heard your joke about that chick not having the two things you find important in a partner. Kinda hard to interpret someone needing a cock and balls to get your motor running as anything but queer.”
Luka and I exchanged horrified looks.
“I suspected you might be, but I wasn’t sure until I heard that.” He turned his attention to Luka. “I figured you out the first time you came out to the bar with us.”
“You did?” Luka gaped at Asa.
He nodded. “You’re subtle, but I saw you check out the bartender, the one who always wears the backward ball cap. But I only saw that because I was checking him out too.”
“Jesus.” Luka looked at me.
“Did you know about them being together?” Cass asked. “Because I had no clue, and I’m usually really good at clocking that sort of thing.”
Asa nodded. “I figured it out that same night. After I talked to Dev, I saw you having a moment together.”
Luka’s entire body went rigid, and he gripped my hand so hard a sting of pain radiated up my arm.
“We didn’t do anything in here,” he said to Dev and Nate, the panic in his voice palpable. “I swear. He was just?—”
“It’s okay,” Dev said, his voice firm enough to break through Luka’s panic but still gentle enough to not make things worse. “We know.”
“You know?” Luka looked between Dev and Nate.
“Asa told me you were upset about something and Zander was helping talk you through it,” Dev explained. “He hung out in the office until things seemed to blow over. That’s it.”
“We know you’d never do anything like that in here,” Nate assured him, using his calming dad voice. “It never even crossed my mind.”
“Mine either,” Dev agreed.
Luka blew out a breath. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to go from zero to a thousand there. I just…” He chewed on his lip. “I have anxiety.”
I shook off his grip and stepped closer, putting one hand on his lower back and pressing against his arm to give him support. Talking about his anxiety was hard for him, and as far as I knew, he hadn’t planned on telling everyone yet.
He immediately matched his breathing to mine, his body relaxing.
“And I sometimes get panic attacks because of it,” he continued. “They don’t happen often, usually only when I’ve got a lot going on, but that’s what happened that night. I had an attack, and Zander helped me get through it.”
“I’m glad he was there for you,” Nate said.
“Me too.” Dev shot Luka an understanding smile.
“You two should teach a masterclass on how to keep things on the DL,” Isaac said, breaking the silence that had fallen over the group. “Not a single person was surprised about us.” He elbowed Jamie in the side. “And Jamie doesn’t even work here. You guys managed to keep this”—he waved between us—“quiet right under our noses.”
“It’s amazing how good you get at keeping secrets when you need to,” Sebastian said softly.
Like Luka, Sebastian had kept his bisexuality a secret until recently. His situation was different since he’d kept it quiet due to being in the public eye when he was fronting his band, but he understood the weight of keeping something like that secret.
“Is this going to be a problem?” I asked Nate and Dev when the group fell silent.
They exchanged a look.
“No,” Nate said simply.
“Really?” Luka asked.
“You’re both adults,” Dev said. “And you’ve obviously been nothing but professional since we had no clue about any of this. We’re happy for you.”
“Jesus Christ,” Luka muttered.
“Baby?” I asked, not caring that everyone could hear the endearment. “What is it?”
“Nothing.” He offered me a weak smile, still looking stunned. “Just processing.”
I slid my hand from his lower back to his waist and tugged him closer.
He tucked himself up against my side.
“Why does your face look like that?” Asa asked Isaac, shifting the group’s attention and breaking the tension that had fallen over us.
I shot him a grateful look. He winked, letting me know he’d done that on purpose to give Luka a chance to finish processing without an audience.
“Like what?” Isaac asked, snapping his gaze up from where he was staring at a drain in the floor.
“You were thinking about licking that drain.” Asa grinned.
“Wrong,” Isaac said. “I was thinking about how I don’t have to because I can not only feel it, but I can taste it. Is that normal? Knowing what random things taste like and not just how they feel?”
“If you’ve ever put something metal in your mouth, then yes. You’d associate that memory with anything metallic,” Asa said. “Mouthfeel is fascinating.”
“Mouthfeel?” Jesse looked between them. “What the hell is that?”
“Something tells me we don’t want to know. Not in this context at least,” Sebastian said to Jesse.
“You don’t,” Dev and I said in unison.
“Why do I know what motor oil tastes like?” Isaac asked, staring at Asa in horror. “I know for a fact I’ve never tasted it, but I somehow know what it tastes like. How is that possible?”
“That would be something called chemoreception,” Asa said.
“Huh?” Isaac asked.
“The chemical sensing system that connects your nose and mouth, and your eyes and throat too. It’s what links your sense of smell with your sense of taste. You’ve smelled it, so your brain can translate that into a taste. Or at least what you think it would taste like. It’s not a foolproof sense.”
“No.” Jamie shot Isaac a flat look.
“What?” Isaac asked, not quite pulling off a confused look.
“You’re not testing that out either. Remember what Dev said? If it’s not food, it doesn’t go in your mouth. We don’t lick random things, no matter how much we want to.”
“I said that exact same thing to the twins last week,” Cass mused, referencing her five-year-old siblings.
“Something tells me they’ll learn that lesson long before Isaac does,” Jamie said with a smirk.
“Hundred percent,” she agreed.
“I wouldn’t actually do it.” Isaac rolled his eyes dramatically. “I’m not that impulsive.”
“But you’d think about it,” Asa countered.
“More than any adult should,” Jesse added.
“Maybe,” Isaac admitted with a smile.
“You’d better keep an eye on him when you get home,” Dev said to Jamie. “Otherwise you’re going to find him licking your furniture in the middle of the night.”
“Or he can give me something else to put in my mouth.” Isaac waggled his eyebrows at Jamie. “What’s that called? Misdirection?” He glanced at Asa. “Did I use that right?”
“Distraction would work better, but I’ll give you a pass since you got the gist of the word.”
“Speaking of distraction,” Nate said loudly as he tucked his phone into his pocket. “Pizza’s here.”
“I’ll get it,” Isaac volunteered, already heading toward the front of the shop.
“I’ll help,” Jamie said, hurrying after Isaac.
“And by help, he means make sure Isaac doesn’t start stuffing his face before he gets the pies back here,” Jesse said.
“Are you okay?” I asked Luka, leaning closer and lowering my voice as everyone around us started talking about how Isaac couldn’t be trusted around pizza.
“Yeah,” he said. His smile was small but genuine. “Still kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop, though. You know?”
I nodded. I knew exactly what he meant.
After so many years of keeping things secret, after the weeks of sneaking around, this felt almost too easy.
Even though I’d known deep down that everyone at work would be okay with us, I’d been afraid that our relationship would be a problem just from an HR perspective. I’d gone through so many scenarios in my head, most of them involving me finding a new job and losing my friends, but that hadn’t happened.
My family knew the truth, my mother knew, and the important people in Luka’s life knew. No one had reacted badly, not even my mother, and for the first time in my life, I didn’t have to hide who I was.
I could not only be myself, but I got to be with the most incredible man I’d ever met. I had my chosen family, and I was in love for the first time in my life. I finally had everything I’d always wanted but never thought I could have.
And it was all thanks to a kink app.