12. Kristin
12
KRISTIN
“ H ey girlie,” I greeted Kylie when I arrived home.
Setting my purse on the kitchen counter, I glanced at the calendar pinned to the fridge. Tomorrow wouldn’t be too bad. Nothing out of the ordinary, at least.
I had put Kylie in charge of making sure Zoey and Hunter ate a vegetable and finished their homework. I didn’t hound Logan and Kylie as much as I did the younger two. I tried to give them a little more space, but with space came responsibility.
Both Logan and Kylie knew they had homework to get done, had to eat a decent meal, and were expected to pitch in with chores. Generally, they did a pretty good job, but occasionally one—or both—would get an attitude about it. At which time I would pick out one or two parent-isms that I tucked away for such an occasion.
“Life isn’t fair” was my favorite as of late.
Since Logan and Kylie were seventeen and sixteen, I had started letting them have a little more free reign. The upside to our parents being absolute pieces of shit—who I hoped were rotting away in jail—was that the kids generally stayed out of trouble .
Sure, they had the stereotypical teenage attitudes, but I couldn’t really fault them for that. I harbored the same hostility.
“How did things go tonight?” I asked.
Kylie shrugged. “Fine.” She barely looked up from the kitchen table where she sat, taking notes and poring over her biology textbook.
“Thanks for your help tonight,” I said, offering an appreciative smile. Moments like this made me proud.
“Do you need me to help you study?” I asked.
She shook her head. “Nah, I’m just about finished. I’m gonna take a shower in a minute if that’s okay. Zoey and Hunter already got theirs.”
I nodded, then walked down the hall to the boys’ room and poked my head in. “I’m back. Y’all need anything?”
Hunter acknowledged me with a grunt. his nose was stuck in a book—one of the many he had borrowed from the library.
It would be a couple of years before he’d be old enough for a cell phone. That didn’t seem to bother him, though. As long as I hauled him downtown to exchange his mountain of books on a regular basis, he was happy.
He always had the librarians on the look-out for titles they thought he’d like. The ladies who ran the Havelock-Craven County Public Library kept a stash of the good ones , as they called them, behind the counter so that Hunter could have first dibs.
“What about you?” I asked, turning to Logan.
He sat reclined on his bed, thumbs dancing across his phone.
I cocked my head. “Homework done?”
Logan’s eyes briefly flitted up from the screen to me, but he didn’t say anything.
“Lo?”
He tossed his phone on the navy-blue comforter and closed his eyes. “I’ll get up early and do it before the bus comes. ”
I put my hand on my hip. “There’s time tonight. Why don’t you bring it out and I’ll sit with you?”
“Kris—”
“I’m not playing, Logan,” I said firmly. “Ky’s about to hop in the shower. Work on it until she’s out. If there’s anything you can’t get to, you can do it in the morning.”
He rolled his eyes, but slowly gathered his things and dragged his feet down the hall. I took it as a small victory and followed him to the kitchen.
The last parent-teacher conference I had to go to regarding Logan hadn’t gone well. He had always been a bright kid, but he stopped trying. Most of the failed grades he received were the result of not turning his assignments. His teachers reassured me that he didn’t goof off in class—he simply didn’t give a shit. I didn’t know which was worse.
“You want coffee?” I asked, scooping some grounds from the off-brand plastic tub. It was bill-paying night, and I needed a little caffeine courage before looking at my bank balance.
“Nah,” he muttered, digging through backpack.
Kylie cleared space for Logan at the table. He dug around his bag a little longer before pulling out his economics textbook. I let out a sigh of relief.
Thank God it wasn’t The Scarlet Letter this time. My abandoned business degree came in handy for helping with basic high school math and little else. Essays had never been my jam. Not to mention, I had some strong opinions about Hester Prynne and Dimmesdale.
I filled my mug with coffee, sans milk and sugar. Paying bills required an unadulterated hit. “Let me know if you need any help, Lo.”
A grunt was all I received as he thumbed through a mostly blank notebook .
“How was poker night?” Kylie asked. “Was Isaac there?”
“Yeah, he’s in town for a few days,” I said with an amused smile. Starstruck didn’t begin to describe Kylie when she first met Isaac. I couldn’t blame her. It still felt weird to run in the same circles as Isaac Lawson and Luca DeRossi.
“Has he proposed to Miss Hannah yet?” Kylie asked, sounding almost giddy. She idolized Hannah Jane.
In Kylie’s eyes, Hannah was southern belle royalty. If Reese Witherspoon and Kate Middleton had a love child, it would be Hannah Jane. She loved to invite Kylie over for an occasional weekend and spoil the shit out of her with mani-pedis and chick flicks. It served to solidify that, when Kylie grew up, she wanted to be Hannah Jane.
“I don’t think they’re ready to get engaged yet,” I said, laughing as I scooped up the pile of envelopes that were, unfortunately, addressed to me. I took a seat at the table and sipped my coffee, wincing at the bitterness. “They’re talking about it, though. She said he asked her about the type of rings she likes.”
“Aww,” Kylie said, smiling wistfully as she turned back to her biology notes. She didn’t have a boyfriend, as far as I knew. Thank goodness for that.
I didn’t know if I could handle the older two dating yet.
I worried about Logan. About a year ago I sat him down and fumbled my way through some semblance of the birds and the bees. I was relieved when he reassured me that he knew the mechanics.
I could talk about safe sex until I was blue in the face, but I would rather jump in a kiddie pool filled with fire ants than give my little brother sex tips. Then again, it wasn’t like I had a ton of experience myself.
He told me over and over again that there wasn’t anyone he was interested in, and honestly—I believed him. He seemed disconnected and had very little interest in any kind of socializing. Hormones be damned.
Kylie was another story entirely. She was boy-crazy in all the worst ways. Lucky for her, I was the product of a cautionary tale about what happens when you don’t use protection. Our current living situation was pretty effective birth control in itself.
I pulled the electricity bill out of the envelope and stared at the minimum amount due . I kept my expression unbothered in front of Ky and Lo, but inside I was teetering between scared shitless and a blackhole of endless despair.
My phone vibrated beside me on the table. It lit up with Will’s name front and center. I couldn’t pick it up quickly enough to keep Ky and Lo from seeing it. Shit.
“Who’s that?” Kylie asked, eyebrows raised.
“Um, he’s, uh,” I stammered, sliding back from the table with my phone. What possible explanation could I give for a guest from the inn calling me at home? “He’s a friend.”
Kylie shot Logan a grin. “Sure. A friend calling you this late at night?”
I swiped the screen to answer the call, pointed at the two of them and mouthed, “Homework.”
The rusted sheet metal door slammed behind me as I stepped into the chilly autumn air. I pressed the phone to my ear, peering over my shoulder to make sure no one followed me out.
“Hello?” I answered the call in a hushed tone. It’d be just my luck for blue-haired Ms. McCafferty to be outside for her nightly cigarette. She’d have tongues wagging before sunrise if she overheard anything juicy.
“Hey, Sunshine.”
“Hi.”
“You’re wondering why I’m calling, aren’t you?” There was a hint of amusement in his voice .
“Maybe a little,” I admitted. I was as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
After such a busy weekend at the inn, then taking the day off, I hadn’t heard Will’s voice in a while. I missed it. Hearing him over the phone for the first time stirred a lot of emotions. This felt big.
“I figured,” Will said. The rumble of his laugh soothed me like a warm hug.
“I mean, you told me to call you .”
“Well, were you going to call me?”
I cringed. “Uh?—"
“Be straight with me, Sunshine.”
“No, I wasn’t going to call you,” I mumbled, working the lines of stress on my forehead with my fingers. “I just got home and needed to get some things done before I hit the hay.”
“And that’s exactly why I called.”
“To distract me?”
“Because I knew you would make up excuses as to why you couldn’t call. I want to talk to you.”
I sighed. “Will…”
“I, uh, check out on Friday.”
I leaned my head against the wood railing bracketing the three rickety steps to the front door. It groaned and screeched in protest. “I may or may not have looked that up on the booking system yesterday.”
I could practically see that self-satisfied smirk on his face. “Uh huh. And why would you do that, Kristin?” He was teasing and egging me on.
Two could play that game.
“To see when I needed to swap your coffee maker for the one that actually comes with the room.” Something rustled on his end of the call. “Are you in bed?”
“Yep. Tell me about your day. ”
“Will,” I said as I suppressed a laugh. “What is this? What are we doing?”
“I don’t know about you, but I was flirting. I guess I’m not doing a very good job if you have to ask. My skills are a little rusty.”
“Your skills are fine,” I said, closing my eyes. A lullaby filled the air around me as the crickets and cicadas sang. “I guess I’m just not good at flirting.”
“What are you going to do when I check out of the inn and you can’t pull the professional boundaries card?”
I never had much use for people who played games. I needed straightforward honesty. Will gave me that, and it was both endearing and terrifying.
“What do you mean?” I asked, buying myself time.
Did I want to see him again? Easy yes. Was my life too complicated for anything other than a little light flirting? Also, yes.
“You know what I mean, Kris,” Will said, moving the phone closer to his mouth as he let out a low laugh. That husky baritone voice of his stirred my dormant lady bits. “You’re too smart to play dumb.”
I snickered. “And here I was thinking you were such a sweetheart. You’re a little bit night-sassy, Solomon.”
“There’s my girl,” he chuckled. “You were getting quiet on me.”
“I’m just tired,” I conceded. “Long night.”
“Maybe you should tell me about it.”
“I’ve just been sitting here, uh—” I started, then clammed up. I’d nearly told him about attempting to pay bills and helping the kids with homework, but thought better of it. “I went to poker night. I’m a little worn out from that. Had too much fun.”
Lie.
Poker at Maddie and Luca’s place may have been fun, but it had also been a weird night. Maybe the planets were out of whack or some mumbo jumbo like that .
I was so excited about Steve and Erica’s baby news. Over the moon, in fact. But I worried about Chase and Bridget.
I didn’t know if Chase would survive her marrying Kyle Kingsley. What would happen to the poker club? Would they both stop coming? Would everyone take sides? I loved them both so much. I couldn’t fathom trying to pick.
“You know, you do this thing,” Will quipped. “You begin to say what’s actually on your mind, pause, then ramble about something trivial.”
“You know, you do this thing—” I mimicked “—where you’re a smart ass”
It sounded like Will sat up. “Remember that time you shared something personal and it didn’t kill you?”
“Hmm. Must’ve been a fluke.”
“You don’t know if it’s a fluke until you test your hypothesis and analyze the data,” he rattled off.
“Says who?”
“Says Aristotle, scientists, and this really annoying teacher I had in middle school.” He chuckled. “Let’s do an experiment. I’ll ask you a question, and you answer honestly. If it kills you, we’ll know you were right.”
I groaned. “Will.”
“For science, Kris,” he said emphatically.
“Fine.”
His voice softened. “What’s bothering you?”
I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. I guess telling him about Chase and Bridget wouldn’t kill me. Hell, it had nothing to do with me.
“So, um, Chase and Bridget came to poker night and, uh—well, I mean— fuck , I’m terrible at this.”
“Keep going.”
I groaned. “It’s stupid and I don’t know how to explain it. I suck at the whole sharing thing. ”
“If it’s bothering you, it’s not stupid. Keep going.”
I let out a shaky breath. “So, you remember how Bridget’s engaged to Kyle?”
“I do.”
“Well, I kind of saw Chase and Bridget having a, uh, private moment. I know Chase is messed up over her getting married. You saw it when shit hit the fan at Jokers. But tonight, she seemed really upset too.”
I paused, giving him a chance to put me out of my misery. He said nothing.
“Our friend group is really tight. With Chase and Bee at odds with each other, I don’t know what it’s gonna do to us. It feels like everyone’s already moving on. I don’t want us to have to take sides, too.”
“Why does it feel like that?”
“They’re all getting engaged and married, having babies and more babies. I’m worried that Chase and Bee will be the final straw and that I’ll get...” I groaned. “I don’t know what I’m trying to say.”
“That you’re worried you’ll get left behind?”
I swallowed hard. “Like I said, it’s stupid.”
“It’s not stupid, sweetheart,” he soothed, without pressing me further or offering his two cents. His simple reassurance crashed into me like a wave, washing away the critical voices in my mind.
I closed my eyes and, for a moment, enjoyed the silence. It felt nice to be heard without the subtle judgement of another person trying to fix my problems.
“So, who’s expecting?” Will asked. “It’s not Chase and Bridget, because if that’s the case then?—”
“Oh God, no,” I said, laughing. “Not them. I don’t think they’ve ever actually dated. They’ve just been really close for years.”
“At least the worst-case scenario hasn’t happened.”
“Yeah, that’d be bad.” I giggled. “If that happened, I’d have to skip town with you just to escape the war zone. ”
What the fuck just came out of my mouth?
“Well, in the case?—”
A loud car blazed by my neighborhood, drowning out Will’s voice.
“So anyway,” I said, thankful for the distraction. “Steve and Erica Pelham are the expectant couple. Do you remember Erica from the night we ran into each other at the bar? I think y’all were introduced.”
“Of course,” he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “She’s married to Steve Pelham, who is Chase’s partner at the police department. They had a little wedding at their house over the summer after Aly was born.”
I paused. “How do you know all that?”
“I ate at the bar last week.” He chuckled. “A lot. Bridget talks about y’all.”
“What, um,” I stuttered through nervous laughter.
My hands got clammy, and I felt faint. I prayed that Bridget could keep a secret.
“What else did she tell you?”
“Not a damn thing about you,” he said, sounding both amused and irritated at the same time. “No one would tell me anything about you. And trust me, I asked around.”
Logan appeared at the door and pointed to the table. “Mind checking that for me?” When had he gone from sounding like a little boy to sounding like a man?
I nodded and held up a finger. “I’ll be there in just a sec.”
“Someone there with you, Kris?” Will asked, a sudden sharpness in his tone.
I squeezed my eyes shut and pinched the bridge of my nose. He could only interpret this situation one way. I’d been cagey with him about my personal life, and now he probably thought I already had someone.
More like four someones .
“Not like that,” I said quickly. “I, uh, I gotta go.”
“Kristin—”
I bit my lip and wished things were different. “I work tomorrow, so I, um, I’ll see you then, I guess.”
I ended the call before he could respond.
“What’cha need?” I asked, the screen door closing behind me as I pocketed my phone and walked inside.
“Can you check my answers?” Logan asked, hunched over his notebook at the kitchen table.
I nodded, covering my mouth to yawn.
“If you’re too tired?—”
“I’m not tired,” I said, reaching for my coffee. I took a sip.
Mmm—room temperature. Yum.
I gestured to his homework. “ Let me see.”
Logan slid his notebook over to me.
I reviewed each section of his assignment carefully. Only a few finer points needed to be addressed. “Looks good, dude.”
My phone buzzed . It surprised me how much I wanted it to be a goodnight text from Will, but it was just Mel shooting me the details for girls’ night on Friday.
Why did that make me feel so deflated?
Kylie stepped into the kitchen, fresh out of the shower and wearing pajamas. She eyed me skeptically. “Are you dating someone?
I didn’t keep secrets from the kids. What happened five years ago blindsided all of us. That wouldn’t happen again on my watch. I couldn’t promise them much, but I would always be honest with them.
I looked between Ky and Logan. She was nearly my twin. In a few years, it would be hard to tell us apart. Logan, on the other hand, towered over all of us. His hollow leg strained my grocery budget, but somehow I made it work without going too far in the red .
“No,” I said sternly. All the relationship talk from the poker club had me on a hair-trigger. Not to mention Will’s flirting. “Y’all know that you’re my priority.”
That seemed good enough for Logan. He muttered a goodnight before creeping back to his room with quiet steps so he didn’t wake Hunter. Kylie lingered a while longer, leaning against the kitchen counter. She didn’t speak until Logan’s door shut.
“You should go on a date.”
I rubbed my tired eyes and looked up from the stack of bills. “What?”
“That’s who called you, right? A guy that likes you?”
“Will is just a friend,” I said, letting a smile slip. “But I guess he likes me.”
“Do you have a picture?” she asked hesitantly.
“I don’t,” I said, standing to my feet and motioned for her to follow me to the couch. The bills would still be there to tackle in the morning. We plopped down and I crossed my legs. “He’s just a guest at the inn that I hit it off with.”
“But he called you.” Kylie looked down at her hands. “Is he nice?”
I sighed. “Yeah, he’s nice. But I’m not dating, Ky. I’ve never even gone out with him.”
Well, that was kind of a lie. He bought me lunch from Revanche. It had been the best date I’d ever been on. Then again, the bar for good dates was on the floor.
“You could, though. Go out with him, I mean.”
My brow furrowed. “Why do you want me to go on a date so badly?”
“I just figured it’d make you happy,” Kylie said with a shrug. “You sounded happy when you were on the phone. And I don’t know—maybe you’d meet someone nice. Someone who would help, so you don’t have to take care of everything and everyone all by yourself. I know we’re a burden. ”
“Ky—” I reached over and squeezed her hand. “You’re not a burden. Not in the past, not now, not ever . Do you understand me?”
“I don’t want you to resent us,” she whispered, her eyes glassy with tears.
“I will never resent you, Kylie,” I said, wrapping her in the tightest hug I could muster. “If it makes you feel better, I really like Will. Talking to him does make me happy. But I worry about y’all, and your safety. I’m not taking any chances with that.”