Chapter 10
Chapter 10
Neisy
THEN
Two weeks after my miscarriage, Kane and I return to Rhode Island for a hearing in the case. Ryder’s defense attorney has filed a motion to dismiss the charges due to a lack of physical evidence. The judge has asked all parties to be present and prepared to answer her questions.
After this, we’ll head to my father’s apartment in Virginia, where he stays when he’s there. He’s working on renting a house in our former district for our senior year.
I’m still not sure if my mother will be joining us, but I’m not asking any questions. As long as I don’t have to go back to school in Rhode Island, I’ll be fine.
Kane is worried about whether I’m strong enough for the hearing.
I’ll have to recount what happened in open court, with Ryder, his family and friends in the room. The thought of seeing him again makes me as sick as I’ve felt since the miscarriage, but either I show up to this hearing or he gets away with what he did.
It will all come down to the judge.
The prosecutor, a very kind assistant attorney general named Neil DeGrasso, has told me it could go either way. Neil said it will depend on which one of us the judge believes, and whether she thinks we have enough to convince a jury of Ryder’s guilt.
With no evidence or witnesses to back up my story, it’s possible the judge will decide my testimony isn’t enough. I have no doubt his attorney will make sure Ryder’s many accomplishments are taken into consideration. Neil warned me that the defense attorney would ask why a well-liked, accomplished young man like him would need to rape anyone. It isn’t a fair question, Neil said, but he wanted me ready for it.
We arrive at my parents’ house at eleven o’clock the night before the hearing.
My dad is waiting at the door to greet me. I feel like he’s aged ten years since he heard I’d been attacked.
He hugs me tightly.
When he steps aside to let us come in, I’m surprised to find my mom standing there, nervously awaiting the chance to greet me.
I hug her. “Hi, Mom. It’s nice to see you.”
“You, too. It’s good to have you home.”
“Thanks.” I want to tell her this will never be my home, but she doesn’t need to be reminded that all my problems began when she brought me to her hometown, where I never stood a chance of assimilating with kids who’d been together their whole lives. At least at my old school there were tons of military kids like me, so it wasn’t as complicated to be new. There were some military kids in school here, but for whatever reason they had none of the problems I did.
Maybe it’s me. I must’ve done something to cause them to take an instant dislike to me. I’ve thought a lot about that over the last few weeks, picking over every second of those first weeks in a new school. For the life of me, I can’t think of anything that would’ve caused them to hate me so much.
Kane says it’s because they were intimidated by how pretty I am.
I think that’s silly. A lot of them are prettier than I am.
He said he doubts that.
I told him he’s biased, and I refuse to believe that the kind of things I experienced could be caused by something so superficial as how someone looks.
Being back in my old room triggers the trauma. I’d give anything to not have to spend even a single night in that room, but since Kane is with me, I get through it.
When I walk into the courtroom the next morning, the trauma hits like a tidal wave when I see Ryder sitting at one of the tables in the front of the room, next to a man with gray hair who is leaning in to hear what Ryder is saying.
I feel the eyes—or I should say the glares—of everyone in that room on me as I walk to my seat in the front where Neil told me to sit.
Kane’s hand on my lower back reminds me to keep breathing, to get through this so I can get out of here as soon as possible.
My parents follow us in and sit next to me. Kane holds my right hand while my dad has the left one.
The sheriff’s deputy tells us to stand when the judge enters the room.
“The Honorable Judge Morgan Denton presiding.”
“Please be seated,” Judge Denton says.
She’s younger than I thought she’d be, forty at the most, with brown skin, dark eyes and a no-nonsense expression on her pretty face.
“We’re here today to consider the defense motion to dismiss this case due to a lack of evidence. Before I can consider the merits of the motion, I’d like to hear from Ms. Sutton.”
Kane gives my hand a squeeze before he releases it.
I thought a lot about what to wear today and decided on a navy dress I wore to my cousin’s wedding right before school started last year. I left my hair down and other than lip gloss, I’m not wearing any makeup. I was surprised when Neil asked me about what I’d wear and suggested I keep it as simple as possible.
When I’m seated in the box next to the judge, the bailiff appears with a bible and swears me in.
“I appreciate you being here today, Ms. Sutton,” the judge says. “I requested you be sworn in because it’s a crime to lie under oath. You’re accusing Mr. Elliott of a very serious crime. I want to hear your story from you before I rule on the defense motion. Do you understand?”
“I do.”
Over the next half hour, Neil leads me through the events of that evening, guiding me in the telling of my story. I try very hard to remain unemotional, but when I get to the part where I have to describe the attack in detail, I can’t help the tears that spill down my cheeks.
“Ms. Sutton,” the judge says, “what contact had you had with Mr. Elliott before that night?”
“I only knew him from school. I mean everyone knew him.”
“Had you spoken with him or had any direct interaction with him?”
“Once or twice, but just to say hello.”
“And yet he said you’d been looking at him like you wanted to fuck him? Was that the way he said it?”
I nod.
“I need you to say the words for the court stenographer.”
“Yes. That’s what he said, but it’s not true. I have a boyfriend I love very much. We’ve been together for years. I’ve never wanted anyone but him. Everyone in school also knew that Ryder was involved with Louisa, so it was shocking to me when he said the things he did.”
“Objection.” The defense attorney leaps to his feet. “The witness is editorializing.”
“Overruled. The whole reason we’re here is to determine what happened that night and whether we have grounds to go to trial. I want to hear what Ms. Sutton has to say.”
The defense attorney sits down, but he’s pissed.
I refuse to look at Ryder, but I can feel him and everyone else staring at me with barely concealed hostility.
“Ms. Sutton,” Neil says, “when Mr. Elliott asked you if he could speak to you in private, were you afraid to leave the party with him?”
“No. I had no reason to be. He’d said it was about his girlfriend, Louisa. We’d had a class together before she left school. I liked her and felt like she liked me, too. And when he said the things he did… About the way I looked at him… I was shocked.”
“What happened after that night?”
“A couple of weeks later, I learned I was pregnant.”
The courtroom erupts in pandemonium as the judge bangs her gavel and calls for order.
“Who was the father of your child?” Neil asks.
“Ryder Elliott.”
“Objection!”
“Overruled.”
“Are you still pregnant?”
“No, I miscarried at five weeks.”
“Have you told the truth today about what happened that night?”
“Yes.”
“Nothing further,” Neil says.
The defense attorney stands. “Is it true that you had a reputation at school for being promiscuous?”
“I did nothing to earn that reputation.”
“But is it true that people said that about you?”
“They said a lot of things about me, but they didn’t know me.”
“Please confine your answers to the questions you’re asked. Is it true that you had intimate relations with members of the football team?”
“No, that’s not true.”
“Your honor, we have a sworn affidavit to the contrary from ten members of the team.”
“That’s a lie!”
“Ms. Sutton, please control your outbursts in my court.”
“They’re lying! I never slept with any of them!” What if Kane believes them? How can they swear I did that when it’s not true? I look to Neil, hoping he’ll do something about this vicious smear. I shouldn’t be surprised that Ryder’s friends came together to defend him this way, but still… I’m shocked that they’d lie under oath.
“Objection!” Neil says after he’s handed a copy of the document. “They are the defendant’s brother and closest friends. Of course they’d lie to protect him.”
“That’s a very serious accusation, Mr. DeGrasso. These young men made sworn statements and were informed of the consequences of lying under oath.”
“We have statements from Camden Elliott, Arlo Merrick…”
He continues to recite names that’re familiar to me, but it’s all lies. I never went near any of them.
Neil glances at me. As his gaze collides with mine I realize he’s not sure who to believe.
“Ms. Sutton,” the defense attorney says, “is it true that you were sexually promiscuous while attending Hope High School?”
I shake my head. “No, it’s not true. I’d never had sex before Ryder Elliott raped me.”
“Ms. Sutton, please confine your answers to the questions you’re asked,” the attorney says testily. “One final question. Were you disappointed when you asked Ryder Elliott to go out with you and he declined?”
My mouth falls open in shock. “That never happened.”
“It’s a yes or no question, Ms. Sutton. Were you disappointed?”
“No, I wasn’t, because I never asked him any such thing.”
“No more questions.”
“Ms. Sutton, you’re dismissed.”
I look up at the judge, feeling incredulous that she’d allow them to smear me this way.
She won’t look at me.
That’s when I know she’s going to let him off, that the lies Ryder and his friends have told will take precedence over the truth.
I’m so devastated I can barely find the strength to stand and walk back to my seat. The devastation is compounded when Kane doesn’t take my hand. He can’t possibly believe I’d do that to him. Can he? What if he does?
If I lose him, I’ll never get over it.
“This is a very difficult situation,” the judge says.
The room is eerily silent and thick with tension as we wait for her to render judgment.
“Ms. Sutton, I believe something happened that night, but without the physical evidence to tie Mr. Elliott to a crime, I can’t allow this case to go to trial. The charges are dismissed. Mr. Elliott, you’re free to go.”
His supporters erupt in cheers as he hugs his attorney and then his parents.
He’s surrounded by the same group of boys who lied for him as they cheer for his exoneration.
“Please get me out of here,” I say to my dad.
He puts an arm around me and has me out of there in a matter of seconds.
I’m so cold, I feel like I’ll never be warm again.
We ride back to the house in complete silence.
Kane looks out the passenger side window.
What is he thinking?
In the driveway at the house, my parents get out.
Kane and I don’t move.
“Are you coming?” Dad asks, his expression full of utter devastation.
“In a minute.” I can’t go another second without knowing what Kane is thinking. The second the car door closes, I turn to him. “Say something! None of that was true! You’re the only one I love, and you know that.”
“They swore it was true.”
“They were lying ! I swear to God. I’ve never even met Arlo Merrick or Camden Elliott or most of the other guys who signed that lie !”
He stares straight ahead as his cheek throbs with tension.
And then I realize he’s weeping.
“Kane…”
“I thought I understood what you went through with these people… But until today, I didn’t realize how bad it was.”
I reach for him.
He wraps his arms around me. “I’m so, so sorry, Neise.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I want to kill them for daring to lie about you.”
I’m sick with relief that he believes me.
We hold each other for a long time, and when we pull apart, our faces are wet with tears.
“Let’s get out of here.”
“Yes, please.”
“And never come back.”