Chapter Twenty-Six
Jett
I can hear my own heartbeat in my ears, thundering loudly, distorting everything else around me. Lance and I are sitting together on the couch in Wilder’s office for an official meeting. All we were originally told was that Everest was no longer going to be residing at Blightridge.
My mind wanders back to a few hours ago. The suffocating constriction of my chest as I barely stumbled into the apartment. Roman was there instantly, demanding that Devlin check on me.
No one ever tells stories about that kind of pain.
The kind that makes you want to dig your fingers between your ribcage and rip your own lungs from your chest because even breathing without that person feels like too much.
It’s not the part of love people want to hear about, the way it feels to lose it all.
Having everything, every fucking thing, and it all disappearing right before your eyes like it never even existed.
When I walked into his cell, there was nothing there.
Not one single thing was left behind. Nothing to hold, to cherish, to remember our time together with.
For all I know, I’m completely insane and everything I’m feeling, everything I experienced, was all in my fucking head.
It’s just as well, because after this, you might as well write me off.
I’m useless without him. From the moment we met, Everest has owned every single piece of me; I have nothing left.
Lance reaches over and rests his hand on my knee, bringing me back to reality.
When I glance up at him, he looks over at me, face full of pity.
I immediately turn away from him again because I can’t stand that fucking look on his face.
Lance was the closest person to us, the person we spent the most time with, and he’s a walking, talking billboard for all the things I can’t change.
The fact that I’m not crazy. That Everest actually was here, and now he’s not.
Wilder keeps talking, but my brain is only picking up little pieces here and there. I don’t fucking believe any of this. I can’t. This has to be a fucking nightmare. Everything I thought I knew was… what? A lie? A joke? Some stupid experiment?
It wasn’t any of that for me. It was real.
“Will we get to see him before he leaves?” I interrupt whatever Wilder was saying. I completely stopped listening to him at some point.
“Um… no. Unfortunately, that isn’t possible.”
I lean back against the stupid pink couch that Everest always talked about, letting out a deep breath as I run my hand through my hair.
I’m barely holding myself together right now, but if either of them can tell, they don’t mention it.
Showing up to Everest’s cell to find it completely empty had already sent me into a spiral of panic, and now what?
I’m just supposed to be fine less than three hours later?
I’m just supposed to act like he didn’t matter, and none of this was a big deal?
Wilder opens up a drawer on his desk and reaches inside. “He left this for you.” He explains as he hands me a folded-up sheet of paper.
I don’t know if he expected me to wait until we left to read it or not, but if he thought that I wasn’t going to open this bad boy up right this very second, he was sorely mistaken.
As I unfold it, a small piece of paper falls to my lap.
I gently pick it up and turn it over. A torn off corner from a piece of his sketch pad with lavender flowers drawn on it.
I take a shaky breath as I trace my finger over the drawing.
He knew.
He left a little piece of himself for me, knowing that I would need something to cling onto.
I remember all the nights we laid together in bed talking about nothing and everything under the sun.
He loved it here; he said that himself. He didn’t want to leave, but for some reason he had to.
I have to believe that he would’ve stayed, that he would’ve chosen me if he could’ve.
I have to believe that, because there’s nothing in the world I would’ve chosen over him. Nothing.
I quietly tuck the drawing into my shirt pocket, holding my hand there for a few seconds before I open the letter and press the creases out against my leg. I read it once, then twice. My eyes get so blurry that I can’t read it anymore, but it’s repeating in my head over and over again.
Three little words I should’ve said. That was real.
Three little words I should’ve said. That was real.
Three little words I should’ve said. That was real.
We were real.
“Why? Why not? I have to talk to him.” I demand sternly as I wipe at the tears still forming in my eyes.
“Well… he’s already gone,” he tilts his head dramatically. “For now.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” I snarl as my eyes snap up to his.
“I’m not supposed to tell you this, because we don’t want to give you false hope, butttt he has been given the option to return. He has two weeks to make his final decision.”
“Two weeks,” I repeat under my breath as he continues to talk. It’s all background noise as my brain spirals into all the memories of us together, all the pieces of himself that he gave me.
The thing about Blightridge is that they work in trades.
They trade something they have access to for things that they want.
Typically, it’s people. People who can provide some kind of skill or service for them.
I don’t know why, I don’t know the bigger picture here, but none of that matters to me right now.
I do know that if they let Everest come here in the first place, there was a reason why.
“You want him to come back though? He has knowledge you want? That Maven needs?”
“Of course. I think he could be very valuable here, but he wasn’t traded to us. He has to offer himself, and whatever he wants in return has to be of equal value to Maven and Ollivander.”
“I can help.” I beg as I shuffle forward on the couch, leaning toward his desk. “I know him better than anyone. I know what he wants. What he needs.”
I know what would make him come back to me.
Wilder squints his eyes at me thoughtfully before glancing over at Lance. “You can go, Lance. I’m sure that Jett will keep you up to date on whatever happens.”
Lance nods in agreement and pats my shoulder thoughtfully before opening the door. He stops at the exit and looks down at me. “He loved you, you know? I don’t think you have to try that hard. I don’t even know that you have to try at all.”
“He’s out there… in the real world. Free. How could I ever ask him to give that up if I’m not willing to give him every part of me? Everything I have left, he deserves it. All of it.”
“Even if he doesn’t believe that he deserves it?”
“Especially then.”
He pauses a moment before giving me a sad smile. “Careful Jett, you might actually make me believe in love.“ He whispers before pulling the door closed behind him.
”I really hope you have a good idea. Whatever it is, we’re gonna have to sell it to Maven.“ Wilder mumbles under his breath as he pulls out a notebook.
I don’t know if this is going to work or not, but it’s the only option I have.
I can’t let him go.