Chapter Twenty-Nine
Everest
“My hairrrrr. Eve!“ Callie groans as I try to adjust her graduation cap on her head. Today is the day she walks across the stage to get her diploma, and it’s kind of crazy to think about. I vividly remember when she was following me around in diapers trying to copy everything Axel and I were doing.
Speaking of Axel, he still hasn’t contacted me.
I’ve called him a few times, but he hasn’t reached back out yet.
He should be home by now, so I’m starting to get concerned.
I really wanted to talk to him before I went back to Blightridge for the meeting, but it doesn’t look like I’m going to get a chance to.
“I’m so proud of you, Cal.” I fluff her curls again to appease her. “Axel, too.”
She rolls her eyes before spinning around to glance at the parking lot.
My eyes dart around at all the caps and gowns, and I feel so proud of Callie for making it here after having to deal with all our mother’s bullshit.
I have no idea how she’s managed to accomplish so much.
I never could’ve done it if I were in her shoes.
“Hey…” She says, drawing my attention to her. “I know that we didn’t finish talking about Jett, but I think you should go back, Everest. I’m serious. You’ve never been happy here, and this… it’s your shot. This is what you need.”
It took me hours to tell her everything that happened while I was away, and by the end of it, she was swooning over Jett just as hard as I was.
He always did the sweetest shit. They swirl around in my brain on repeat, all of our memories.
It’s the only thing I’m ever thinking about.
They’re the only thing inside of me that’s even alive anymore.
I tried to go back to work and talk to my boss a few days ago, but I ended up circling the block a dozen times instead.
I couldn’t even work up the nerve to cross over to the same side of the street.
I hate that place with every fiber of my being.
I can’t imagine having to go back there and spend every day for the rest of my life walking through those doors.
In fact, I don’t ever want to go back in there, so I decided that I’m going to find another job.
No more abandoned houses. No more miserable meetings.
No articles. Not even the one for Blightridge, the one that was supposed to be the highlight of my career. None of that even matters anymore.
“You still have a few more days, why don’t you take some time and write down the things that you could offer them. You can decide whether or not to use it later, but at least you’ll have it ready, right?”
I can see the concern written all over her face, and that hurts almost as bad as all the emotions constantly swirling around inside of me.
I didn’t want her to feel bad about me staying here, but it’s obvious that she does.
I imagine that she wants me to be happy the same way that I want her to be, but I just don’t work the way normal people do.
Leaving here wouldn’t even guarantee that I’d be satisfied at the prison forever, and then I’d have no way out.
I would never have the option to leave there.
Even if I don’t think I’d need it, I can’t predict my own discontent. It could strike at any time.
She eyes me warily, waiting on my reply.
“Alright. I’ll make the list.” I concede just to appease her.
“Eve…” She admonishes me. “I’m serious. What you had… it was real, don’t let it slip away. Please. I’m begging you.”
It was real.
It was real.
It was real.
The words feel like a gong ringing through the fog clouding up my brain. They echo loudly and remind me of all the things that were running through my brain on my last day at Blightridge.
How I wished I had just a little more time with him. Time to hold him and kiss him, to tell him everything he doesn’t know about me, so that he had those parts of me too. Time to draw for him and laugh with him. I still have the option to make those memories. I could have all those things. Forever.
Tears spring to my eyes, and Callie’s gaze softens as her hand rubs my shoulder.
“I love him, Cal.” I admit.
She tilts her head empathetically. “I know, Eve. That’s why you have to go. I’m gonna be fine. I promise.” She says confidently.
I nod as I wipe at the few tears that managed to escape. “Alright. I’ll write the list and see what they offer me. I don’t know if I’ll agree, but I promise that I’ll listen to what they have to say, okay?”
“No,” she says sternly. “You’ll stay, Eve.”
“I’m not gonna promise that, Cal. There’s no telling what they’ll ask for. If it’s reasonable, then I’ll stay.”
She rolls her eyes but spins around to look at the other students gathering. “Fine,” she concedes as she turns back toward me. “I’m gonna go meet up with my friends. I’ll see you afterward, okay?”
“Okay. Good luck with your speech. You’ve got this!” I call out after her.
“Love you, Eve!” She belts out as she takes off toward a group of girls in the parking lot. I chuckle as I head toward the bleachers to find a seat.
I keep my promise to Callie and spend the next two days pacing my house as I come up with a list for Ollivander. All my free time is spent with Callie or double checking the things I’m going to present to them.
The day before I leave, I make a new list and then meet with a lawyer here in town. I make sure that he knows what to do with all my belongings if I don’t return, and since I don’t know if I’ll be able to contact Cal anymore, I leave a note for her with him as well.
As I drive home, I thought for sure that I’d be in tears, but surprisingly, I’m not. I spent a lot of time preparing for this meeting, and all I can do is hope that it’s enough.
Please God, be enough.