Chapter 3
Chapter Three
With a deep sense of dread sitting in her stomach, Amelia paced the kitchen floor, going over everything in her mind.
She’d spent the last hour trying to take a normal breath, but the storm raging inside her showed very little sign of breaking.
Evelyn—or Evie, as she preferred—was on her way over.
She’d been summoned by Amelia’s trembling voice when she’d called her a little while ago.
She didn’t know if she could say the words out loud that needed to be said, but she did know she couldn’t carry this alone.
Evie was her best friend and her anchor.
She was the one Amelia always turned to when the ground felt as though it might split open beneath her feet.
She was also the one who had introduced her to Satin, and the only other person who truly understood what that place meant.
Satin wasn’t just a club; it was a sanctuary and a place to lose yourself.
Or, in Amelia’s case, find someone you never meant to.
Just relax. Jo has no idea it was you.
Right now, that single thread of certainty was all Amelia had to hold onto.
Everything else was a mess in her head. Her memories, her hopes, her fears.
They all whirred around at an unnecessary speed.
Still, Jo had put Amelia’s mind at rest. Her cheery text message this morning, confirming their weekly coffee, hinted that Jo was unaware of the identity of the stranger in the room last night.
And now, as Amelia tried to breathe and find some semblance of calm, she allowed her mind to dangerously wander back to last night.
She imagined the feeling of Jo’s silky blonde hair running through her fingers, and the shape of her hip beneath Amelia’s palm.
The impossible sweetness of Jo’s arousal.
She’d discovered so much about Jo last night…
what made her cry out in ecstasy, what made her tremble and come undone against Amelia’s tongue.
A shiver rolled through Amelia as she lowered herself into a seat at the dining table.
The quiet of the house did little to relieve her of the filthy thoughts running through her mind, but she would survive this.
She had to. Still, the longer she waited for Evie, the more her mind replayed every second, every gasp, every strangled whisper.
Last night had been short, almost too brief for Amelia’s usual hunger, but Jo had given her a memory that felt as though it would last a lifetime.
It was seared into her, and as a result, Amelia had woken this morning and reached for the toy in her bedside drawer before she had fully opened her eyes.
The doorbell startled Amelia up out of her seat. She rushed down the hall, her heart hammering, and forced the door open. She dragged Evie inside, slamming the door shut and locking it in fear of Evie running out and not helping her through this.
“What’s going on? You sounded terrible on the phone earlier.” Evie’s worry was written all over her face, but her voice was as gentle as ever. “Love?”
“Go through to the kitchen. I’d offer you a glass of wine but, well, I’m not sure I’m in the right headspace for alcohol right now.
” Amelia gestured down the hallway, then followed Evie and her confident stride.
Usually, confidence bounced between them like a spark.
Today, Amelia felt as though she didn’t possess an ounce of it.
No, she felt as though everything bright and bold inside of her had drained away.
“I’ve just made coffee. Would you like some? ”
“Oh, go on. I promised myself less caffeine, but something tells me I’m going to need it.” Evie winked and offered a soft, understanding smile as she took a seat. “No plans today?”
“No, thankfully.” That was a lie. Jo would be here soon, but Amelia chose to keep that tucked safely away for now. “Will you be at Satin tonight?”
“No. I thought I’d spend the weekend at home. Last week was quite the experience.”
Satin. That word always caused a jolt of something wild and dangerous deep inside of her. Evie had been the one to show her its shadowy corners and secret doors, and she’d quickly learned that she preferred the privacy of the dark room. “Too much for you?”
“Not in the moment, it wasn’t. But the next day…
fucking hell. I had no idea I was so flexible or capable of so many orgasms in one night.
” Evie’s nonchalance was so familiar that it made Amelia’s shoulders loosen just a little.
“You should give the public room a try if you have the stamina. Not knowing what’s coming is quite something. ”
“Oh, I shouldn’t. Satin is the reason I asked you to come over. It seems I can’t even behave myself in the private room, never mind the public one.”
Concern settled over Evie’s features. “What…happened?”
“I was there last night. It was a quiet night in terms of those of us attending, but I wasn’t bothered whether someone shared the room with me or not. There were plenty of toys to hand if it ended up being a lonely night.”
“Okay.” Evie frowned as she searched Amelia’s face. “So…”
“Someone did want to share the room with me.” Amelia’s throat dried as she carried two coffees to the table. She forced herself to meet Evie’s eyes as she sat down. “You won’t believe who came in.”
“Who?”
“Callum’s ex-girlfriend.”
Evie reacted with a sharp gasp, her hands gripping the edge of the table as her eyes widened with shock. “J-Jo? That ex?”
“Yes. That ex.” Amelia wished that Evie wouldn’t be so dramatic. Every slight reaction made it harder for her to speak, so the dramatics made her want the floor to open up.
“I bet she was disappointed when you revealed yourself, and you went your separate ways.” Evie sighed. “But I wouldn’t worry. These things happen. Probably more than either of us realise.”
“We…didn’t go our separate ways, Evie. We had mind-blowing sex, cuddled, and I think we agreed to see one another again there.”
Evie’s hand slowly slipped from the table, her face draining of colour. “You’re not serious. You can’t see her again, Amelia.”
“I know.” Amelia’s voice threatened to break when emotion welled in her throat. She pressed it down and continued. “The reason she wants to see me again is that I didn’t tell her it was me in the room. And I know, I know I should have, but I couldn’t face the rejection.”
“You didn’t tell her?”
“No.” Amelia propped her chin on her fist. “I thought about coming clean once we were laying there, but we’re friends, Evie. She’s coming over this afternoon for coffee, like usual. If I’d told her, I probably wouldn’t see her ever again.”
Evie’s brows drew together, her concern palpable in the air around them. “Surely she knew it was you. Your voice alone would give it away.”
“Not when I used a different voice.” As Amelia said that, tremendous guilt settled deep inside of her.
It hadn’t felt like a deception in the moment, but now…
now it felt as though that was all it had been.
And worse, it had tainted what should have been the most beautiful memory.
“Should I tell her, or just never go to Satin again?”
“See how it goes when she comes over today. She could walk in here and tell you she knows it was you and that the sex had been amazing.” Evie drew her coffee closer.
“But if she comes here and doesn’t mention the fact that it was you, then yes, I would consider telling her the truth.
At least then, if you do end up in the room together again, it’s because you both want it, and she doesn’t give a fuck that you could have been her mother-in-law. ”
“Right.”
“I know you, Amelia. You’re going to beat yourself up about this until you make a decision.
I don’t want you to do that. Satin is about letting go and experiencing whatever it is you want to experience.
I never want it to become a negative in your life.
Not if it brings you joy.” Evie gave her a knowing look.
“And I’d also like to remind you that the membership states that you may come across people you know at the club.
Jo would also know that. You’ve done nothing wrong here, Amelia. ”
Oh, it had brought her so much joy. Last night had been dazzling and unforgettable. But now shame had crept in, threatening to steal the memory away. As for the membership rules, none of that made her feel any better right now.
“Are you going to tell Callum?”
Amelia arched a brow. “I don’t think Callum would like to know that his mother frequents a sex club, do you?”
“Maybe you could mention it in some other way. Just tell him you had a one-night stand with his ex. Blame alcohol or something.”
The sheer horror Amelia felt about that hit her square in the chest. “Absolutely not!”
“Love, you’ll have to come clean about all of this at some point. He was with Jo for three years. The poor thing thought he was going to ask her to marry him.”
Amelia sighed as she stared into her coffee, willing herself not to cry.
She’d made such a mess of everything, but she couldn’t regret last night.
No matter how hard she tried. Right now, Callum was the least of her concerns.
And even if it was her biggest concern, there wasn’t a single universe where she’d ever tell him about this.
“Don’t remind me. I still hate what he did to her. And Thea…she’s nothing compared to Jo.”
“But look at it this way.” Evie shifted closer, her eyes glistening with a familiar mischief as she leaned in.
“If he hadn’t cheated and pissed off travelling, you wouldn’t have been deep inside his ex last night.
” Evie winked, but her smile faded when she realised Amelia didn’t share in her enthusiasm.
“Oh, come on! You can’t say what happened wasn’t incredibly hot. Knowing it’s forbidden…”
“If I didn’t feel so guilty, then yes, I’d agree with you. But right now, I feel…terrible.”
“If you hadn’t known who was going into that room, you’d be none the wiser.
Don’t beat yourself up about this. Just…
consider if it’s something you should do again.
” Evie’s hand was warm and supportive as it covered Amelia’s.
“We meet all kinds of people at the club. It’s not ideal that on this occasion it was Jo, but it’s not the end of the world. ”
“She probably won’t go to the club anymore. I don’t even know if it was with a friend or whether she stumbled upon it. But it’s not the type of place I ever imagined seeing her at.”
“There you go. She probably turned up not realising what the place was.”
Even though Amelia nodded in agreement, she didn’t agree. It was impossible to just stumble upon Satin. Even if Jo hadn’t known, she still had to sign up, sign waivers, and do everything anyone else with a membership there had to do. Mistakes like that did not happen at Satin. “Maybe, yeah.”
“It’ll all blow over. This kind of thing always does.”
Amelia curled her hands around her cup, wondering if anything could ever be that simple again. But maybe Evie was right. Maybe Amelia had to wait and see what the atmosphere was like when Jo arrived here later today. Until then, she would continue to worry…and go out of her mind.