Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Amelia hadn’t planned to come to Satin tonight, but two days of silence from Jo had been more than enough to unravel her.
The way Jo had stood in the middle of her flat and barely looked at her…
it replayed over and over, stuck on a brutal loop Amelia couldn’t escape.
She’d tried to sleep, but she couldn’t. She’d tried to work and failed.
Her hands seemed to continuously tremble whenever she typed out the planning permission email she knew needed sending, and her throat seized up whenever she picked up the phone.
Everything in her life had been so carefully ordered before Jo, and now it was all falling apart.
When Evie had called her a few hours ago, Amelia had been soaking in the bath, crying into the bubbles surrounding her.
She had claimed she wasn’t crying at all, insisting she was merely thinking, and that had been the moment when Evie had told her to think like the rest of them…
in a pair of heels, and a dress that would make the entirety of Satin salivate on Amelia’s arrival.
So now, here she was. Lounging sideways on a velvet couch with a drink in her hand and the familiar spark that often ignited in her chest when she was at the club.
She wore a gown with a split that finished high up her thigh, a deep burgundy colour with a Bardot neckline, ruched detailing cinching at the waist for that sculpted silhouette look that Amelia preferred.
As she looked down, she realised the edges of her lace lingerie were just about visible.
She hadn’t intended for them to show, but then again, she hadn’t intended to do much… except for forget.
The woman beside her, Emily, traced her fingers teasingly along the inside of Amelia’s thigh, and Amelia hadn’t even bothered to stop her. It wasn’t that she wanted to sleep with another woman tonight, but she felt hollow inside, and this attention was better than drowning.
“You’re tense.” Emily leaned in, her breath warm against Amelia’s ear. “You want me to loosen you up?”
Amelia’s eyes drifted to the shadows on the other side of the room, the familiar play of candlelight and silhouettes behind sheer curtains.
The same flicker of secrets she used to love about this place.
The same corner where she and Jo had once sat with drinks, before either of them had admitted they were slowly coming undone.
“I know that look.” Emily’s hand skimmed higher, and Amelia shivered. “You’ve been left wanting, haven’t you?”
A pathetic smile curled on Amelia’s lips. “Something like that.”
“Then, how about…” Emily ghosted her lips along Amelia’s jaw. “I help you forget.”
Amelia closed her eyes and allowed herself to lean into the moment.
Her body didn’t care that it wasn’t Jo, her nerves lit up anyway, so when Emily’s mouth brushed hers, she didn’t pull away.
If this was what it took to forget, then so be it.
Jo didn’t want her, and she never would again.
The woman she was hopelessly in love with couldn’t even look her in the fucking eye.
But then…
“Amelia?”
Amelia’s head snapped up, her breath catching immediately. Standing just a few feet away was Jo’s best friend.
Ada’s face may have been unreadable, one brow lifted, a half-full glass in her hand, but her gaze was focused firmly on Amelia.
She sat up abruptly and brushed Emily’s hand from her thigh. “Shit.”
Emily laughed as she pulled away. “Friend of yours, by any chance?”
Ada continued to glare at Amelia, that disgust Jo had for her in her eyes almost mirrored in her best friend’s. God, that look was far more painful than Amelia wanted to admit.
Still, she forced out a breath and said, “I-I didn’t know you’d be here.”
“Mm. I could say the same,” Ada replied, switching her gaze between Amelia and Emily. “But here you are…without a care in the world.”
“I was invited,” Amelia said, trying not to sound defensive and hoping Ada believed her. “Evie thought it might help.”
Ada’s expression still didn’t change.
“I’m just trying to take my mind off things.”
“Yeah, it looks like it’s working. Good for you.”
That hit Amelia like a slap to the face.
Emily leaned into her again, quite clearly unable to read the room. “Are we pretending we’re not in a sex club, or…?”
Amelia shot her a look, her nostrils flared. “Would you give us a minute?”
“Your loss.” Emily shrugged and stood up, wandering off with her hips swaying as though she hadn’t just been dismissed.
Amelia turned back to Ada. “Before you say anything—”
“I wasn’t going to say anything.” Ada’s voice softened, but Amelia still felt the tension in the air between them. “You’re a grown woman. You can do whatever you want.”
“But?”
Ada sighed and tilted her head. “Jo’s on her way here.”
“S-she…” Amelia’s blood ran cold. “What?”
“She’s meeting me for a drink. I didn’t know you were going to be here. I texted her before I left my place, and she seemed fine with the idea.” Ada gave her a knowing look. “You…may want to fix your dress.”
Amelia’s hands flew to her lap. The lace of her lingerie was barely showing, but it was enough to be noticed. She suddenly felt naked and ashamed. Her stomach twisted as she smoothed the fabric down. “I wasn’t trying to…” she trailed off. “I wasn’t thinking straight.”
“Clearly.” Ada set her glass down. “I’m going to head out and meet her before she walks in.”
“Ada, please.” Amelia’s voice broke. “Please, don’t tell her I was like this.”
Ada studied her. “She’s already hurting, you know.”
“I-I know.” Amelia swallowed back her emotion. She had no right to play the victim here. She’d created this all on her own. “So am I.”
Ada leaned down and said, “I don’t think you’re a bad person, Amelia. But if you’re going to let Jo get on with her life, then maybe don’t be sitting here looking at her when she walks in.”
And with that, Ada turned and walked away.
Amelia sat there frozen in place, the lights suddenly too bright and the air too thick with tension to breathe.
Her hands trembled as she grabbed her clutch, but she put one foot in front of the other and moved towards the table Evie had been occupying just moments ago.
She would be as inconspicuous as she could be, but Amelia couldn’t leave yet.
She needed to lay eyes on Jo for her own sanity.
What the hell are you doing here?
Jo should have cancelled with Ada the moment she’d come to her senses.
She should have told Ada she was exhausted, or made something up about needing to work late, or just said she wasn’t in the mood.
But the truth was, she was in the mood. For distraction, for noise, for anything that wasn’t going on inside her own head.
She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Amelia since the door had closed behind her two nights ago.
Watching her standing there, a mess Jo wasn’t familiar with, crying as she told Jo she loved her.
But then the lies quickly pushed their way to the front of Jo’s mind, and the ‘I love you’ meant very little all over again.
She walked through the entrance to Satin, nodding at the staff and smiling at Ada, all while trying to settle her breathing.
She hadn’t worn anything overly revealing tonight, just black trousers and a soft silk top, her leather jacket draped over her shoulders.
She looked put together, even though she wasn’t.
She automatically scanned the room as she often did when she walked in here, and then she stopped, frozen in place when she noticed a familiar head of dark hair.
Amelia.
She was sitting on the edge of one of the crushed velvet booths with her back to the entrance, and she had no idea Jo had just walked in, but that didn’t matter. Jo’s lungs still fought for breath, her heart aching as though it had been kicked repeatedly all over the city.
Amelia wore a burgundy gown, lace visible against her thigh. One hand curled around her wine glass, and the other…was brushing against the knee of another woman beside her.
Jo’s gut twisted.
The other woman leaned in, whispered something in Amelia’s ear, and Amelia smiled as Jo caught her side profile. It wasn’t fake, it wasn’t subtle, it was the kind of smile Jo had once seen aimed at her across the kitchen table.
She stepped back and considered her options. She couldn’t do this tonight. She couldn’t be here, she…shouldn’t be here. She wasn’t in the right frame of mind to see Amelia Loughlin not only in the same space as her, but with someone else. Everything was too raw in Jo’s chest.
She turned, only to feel a hand brush her elbow.
“Can I buy you a drink?”
Startled, Jo looked up at the woman standing in front of her. Tall, poised, strikingly beautiful in a red halter-neck dress that matched her lipstick. “I—”
“You really look like you could do with something strong.”
Jo glanced quickly to her left. Ada was chatting with someone across the room, distracted, unaware that Jo was on the brink of falling apart in the middle of a sex club.
Then she looked over at Amelia’s table again.
She was laughing and enjoying life, so Jo turned back to her mystery woman and said, “Sure. That would be great.”
“What’s your poison, gorgeous?”
Jo felt her face flush. Nobody had approached her in here before, so maybe it would be nice to spend some time with a woman who had called her gorgeous, rather than pining for someone who had spent the last month lying to her face. “Whiskey, thanks.”
“Great.” The woman’s smile deepened. “Maybe you could get us a table, and I’ll be right back.”
Jo exhaled a shaky breath as the woman moved towards the bar, her hands curling into fists at her sides. This was ridiculous. She should leave. She should never have come here. What was she even doing?
Jo was just about to head for an empty table when movement caught her eye…and then she stilled. Amelia was walking towards her.