Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Amelia sat at the breakfast bar, still in her robe, nursing the same cup of coffee she’d been clutching for the last hour.
The house was far too quiet this morning, lingering with heartbreak and regret…
guilt for everything she had done. The sunlight spilled in through the kitchen blinds, the birds chirped outside, but none of it mattered this morning.
Amelia was officially cold and dead inside.
For the third night in a row, she hadn’t slept.
Her eyes were raw from crying, her heart was bruised and broken beyond repair, and every fucking corner of the house reminded her of Jo.
The soft, pastel pink throw on the armchair she used to wrap around herself, the wine glasses sitting clean on the counter from that night they’d laughed over Rioja and too many olives months ago.
Her world had shrunk down to the space where Jo had once belonged, and now it just felt empty.
When the doorbell rang, Amelia flinched. She wasn’t expecting anyone, so she waited for a moment, listening, hoping maybe it was a delivery. But when it rang again, longer this time, more impatient, she dragged herself to her feet and walked down the hallway.
She opened the door slowly.
And there he was.
“Hey, Mum.”
Callum stood on the doorstep, his rucksack slung over one shoulder and his hair longer than it had been the last time she saw him. His tan popped from his time in Southeast Asia, and his smile was still the same. Boyish, charming, and utterly fucking clueless.
Amelia’s stomach twisted. She’d forgotten this was the day he flew back. To be honest, she’d forgotten everything that wasn’t Jo. “Oh,” she said, stunned. “You’re here.”
He grinned and stepped forward, wrapping her up in a tight hug that she couldn’t quite return. “Flight got in early. Thought I’d surprise you.”
Amelia forced a smile and patted his back awkwardly. “You did.”
He stepped inside, dropping his bag by the door like he still lived here. Which, he didn’t. No way. Amelia couldn’t share this space with him. He hadn’t lived at home for at least ten years now. “Thought you might have done something with the place while I was gone. You know, kept yourself busy.”
“I have enough to do without ripping my home apart.”
He turned back to her, his brow furrowed as he took in her pale face and tired eyes. “You okay, Mum?”
No, I’m not. And you being here just makes everything ten times worse. She cleared her throat. “Fine. Just a rough few days.”
Callum didn’t press, but he studied her for a moment longer before rubbing his hands together. “Right. So, what’s the plan? I was thinking of heading over to see Jo later. Thought I’d start with an apology, y’know? Clear the air a bit.”
Amelia froze, but her hand clenched into a fist at her side. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Callum frowned. “Why not?”
“She doesn’t want to see you.”
His eyebrows lifted, and a bright smile appeared. Her son had never been one to listen when someone was telling him not to do something, and that clearly hadn’t changed. “You’ve spoken to her?”
Amelia swallowed. “Yes. I let her know you were coming home.”
“When? I mean, I know you two have always been friends, but I thought that would have sort of died down when I…you know?”
“We’ve been in touch.”
Callum leaned back against the wall and folded his arms across his chest. “Well, if she’s talking to you, she’ll talk to me.”
“No,” Amelia said, her voice firm. “She won’t.”
“Why? Because of Thea? I told you, that’s over. That was a mistake—”
“You made a choice, Callum. Jo spent months trying to recover from the damage you caused.” Amelia’s voice wavered, but she held her ground. “She’s doing well now. She’s rebuilding her life. She doesn’t need you showing up and dragging her back.”
Callum scoffed and pushed off the wall. “You don’t get to decide that.”
“I do when she’s asked to be left alone.”
“Let me guess.” He narrowed his eyes. “She’s asked you not to give me her address?”
Amelia hesitated. She hadn’t spoken to Jo about Callum since the night everything had fallen apart, but if she told Callum the truth—if she gave him her address—he’d go there.
He’d knock on her door, disrupt the fragile remnants of Jo’s heart, and probably push her further away than Amelia already had.
But the real truth of it all was that Amelia selfishly wasn’t ready to see Jo back in his arms. Not after everything they’d shared recently. Not after the club, and the kisses, and the roaming hands…that voice as it whispered, I love you in the dark.
So, she lifted her chin and said, “Yes. She made that very clear.”
Callum’s face fell. “You’re serious?”
“I’m sorry, but I won’t be a part of dragging her through anything more than she’s already endured.”
Callum stared at her, visibly shaken by Amelia’s lack of support in this. “I came home to make things right.”
“You came home because Thea left you.” Amelia’s eyes softened, but only slightly.
“If you want to make it right with Jo, do it by respecting her wishes. By giving her space. You hurt her. That doesn’t disappear just because you’ve had time to get your end away elsewhere and now you’re back with your tail between your legs. I raised you better than that, Callum!”
He scrubbed a hand through his light brown hair, frustration bleeding into his voice. “I just thought…maybe she missed me.”
Amelia scoffed. Most people wouldn’t agree with her stance on this, even if Jo wasn’t firmly in her life, but she wouldn’t stand by while any man—her son included—hurt and disrespected another woman. It just wasn’t who Amelia was. “She deserves better.”
Callum finally stepped back towards the door, accepting that he was on his own with this. “Fine. I’ll find her address myself and get a cab.”
“Callum!”
“Thanks for the warm welcome, Mum. It’s fucking great to see you, too!”
The door slammed shut behind him before she could say another word. Amelia leaned back against the counter, tears brimming on her eyelids all over again. She’d basically just sent her son away, and yet, all she could still think about was Jo.
Jo sat on the floor, her back against the couch and her knees pulled up to her chest, the curtains half-drawn to block out the midday sun.
She’d left the club last night once she’d found herself alone in the bathroom with Amelia, and surprisingly, it had prevented her from having a raging hangover today.
She felt tired and worn out, but she didn’t feel as though she’d drank herself into oblivion.
Her phone buzzed again. She knew it was Callum. She already had six missed calls, three voicemails she hadn’t listened to, and a handful of WhatsApp messages…all variations of wanting to talk, letting her know he was back in town, and wanting to know if he could see her.
Jo let the call ring out again, pressing it face down into the carpet.
Her heart pounded—not out of hope, and not even anger.
Just…exhaustion. How many times did she have to say she was done?
How many ways could she explain that the man she used to love no longer existed?
And worse, how many more ways could she ignore the pain in her chest from the one person she did want to speak to?
She tipped her head back against the edge of the couch and closed her eyes. She hadn’t stopped thinking about Amelia since last night. The small talk at the club, the apology in the bathroom…the fucking pain of it all.
Jo rubbed at her forehead with the heel of her hand.
Going to Satin had been a bad idea from the moment she’d texted Ada back and agreed to go.
But seeing Amelia there—real and vulnerable in the bathroom, not wrapped in the anonymity of the dark room—had stirred something deep and dangerous inside of her, and now all she could think about was picking up her phone and texting her.
Are you okay? I miss you. I don’t know what I’m doing without you.
But she didn’t. She wouldn’t. Not when her chest still ached with betrayal, and not when part of her still pictured that night in the dark, her mouth on Lia’s skin, her heart unknowingly falling in love with a lie.
Her phone buzzed again.
Jo let out a low groan and grabbed it before it vibrated its way through the last ounce of sanity she possessed.
Fucking hell, Callum!
She almost silenced it again, but something inside her snapped. Enough was enough.
She answered. “What do you want?”
“Jo. Thank God. I’ve been trying to get in touch—”
Jo rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I noticed.”
“I got back this morning. I’ve been to Mum’s. She wouldn’t give me your address.”
“Good.” At least she can do one thing right, Jo thought. “Have you not taken the hint?”
“Can we meet, please? For coffee. I just want to talk.”
Jo laughed. This man was out of his mind. “You think coffee is going to fix what you did to me?”
“No, I don’t think that. I just…I’ve had time to think. To grow. I made a mistake, Jo. A huge one. I shouldn’t have chosen Thea over you.”
Jo got to her feet and walked to the window. She pulled the curtain back, only for grey skies to greet her. How very fitting for the heaviness in her chest. “You didn’t choose Thea, Callum. You cheated. Repeatedly. And then you left. There’s no choosing in that. You’re just a wanker.”
“I’m not that man anymore.”
“And I’m not that woman anymore.”
Callum’s breath faltered. “So…that’s it?”
“That was it the day I came home from work to find that you’d kindly packed my bags for me. That was it when you stood there with Thea by your side in our house and told me you didn’t love me anymore.”
“But Jo—”
“I’m seeing someone.” Those words were out of her mouth before she even realised it.
Her entire body tensed immediately. She wasn’t seeing anyone, and she suspected she never would be.
Because everyone always left or disappointed her in some way.
Still, with Amelia, it had felt like something.
Something real and something more than she’d ever imagined for herself.
She cast her mind back to Thursday night, Amelia’s eyes as she’d stood in her flat, tears running silently down her cheeks. The way her voice had broken when she said I love you.
“Oh.” Callum’s voice snapped her back to the moment.
“I’m not interested in going backwards. Not with you.”
“Has Mum put you up to this? She didn’t seem like she wanted to see me when I turned up before.” He sighed. “She said you weren’t interested in seeing me anymore. I didn’t want to believe her.”
“Well, believe her now.”
“Right.” His voice hardened. “Guess I’ll see you around then.”
Jo scoffed. “I’d prefer not to, if it’s all the same.”
The moment she ended the call and the line went dead, Jo dropped the phone onto the windowsill and pressed her forehead against the glass. Her body was tense, her breath shallow, but her mind…her mind was already racing towards someone else.
Amelia.
Why couldn’t she stop wanting her? Why, even after all the lies and secrets, did her heart still reach for her? Maybe because Amelia had seen her for who she was and liked it. Even under false pretences, even cloaked in darkness, Amelia had made her feel alive again.
Beautiful, powerful…someone who mattered.
And now she missed her like hell.
Her phone vibrated on her recently painted windowsill.
Jo quickly picked it up, hoping and praying it was Amelia.
But it wasn’t. It was the one person who was always there for her, even when she didn’t know she needed someone. Ada.
You okay? I’m in the area and wondered if you needed me to come over? I’m only five mins away.
Jo stared at the message, smiling with appreciation for Ada Kilroy.
I’m okay. Just spending the day with myself. Learning to sit in the quiet without falling apart. I’ll talk to you in a few days once things have settled down.
Jo sent the message, then swallowed when she quickly typed out another.
I miss her. I feel lost without her.
Ada started to reply immediately, as though she’d known Jo wasn’t quite finished with what she was saying.
I know you do. Give yourself some time.
Jo closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Whatever the outcome of the next few days, she just hoped that everyone would pull through in a way that was best for them.