Chapter 34 - Porter
D arkness surrounds me when I wake however many hours later and my body feels heavy, still groggy from sleep. I feel more rested than I have in years but Charlie’s not in bed with me anymore. It's most likely been several hours so she's probably on the couch or down in the bar. My head feels so clear knowing exactly what I want for myself but my body feels like it's walking through sand. It's so hard to take note of everything that has happened in the last day but I know what to do now. Know with utmost certainty that Charlie is my person. I'm going in one hundred percent with her.
I love her.
I want her to yell at me, laugh with me and live every day like it's our last. I want her to test me and comfort me all at the same time. I want her exactly how she is and there's no doubt in my mind she wants me like that too.
Making my way into the kitchen I can see the mess from earlier has been cleaned. The bloody reminder of my grief no longer scattered pieces of stained gauze on the kitchen bench. In its place, however, is the jar of copper coins.
The jar of coins that is my constant reminder of everything I took and everything I lost. A note rests against it and I know it's from Charlie, the seed of doubt I just destroyed rearing to come back, threatening to crumble my whole world all over again.
I let go of the breath I was holding as I read it. It's just another testament to her and everything she is, as even in her note she's still giving more of herself to me, reassuring me that I don't need to forget my past to have a future. Most of the morning was a haze of turmoil and emotion but she's said the words I want to hear in so many different ways and just like this note, she's telling me she loves me but I've never said it back, I never truly listened. Never reassured her that I feel the exact same way about her.
That ours is a kind of love that most people never find.
I will sacrifice everything to have her and destroy anything I need to to keep her. Someone blessed me the day I found this kind of love with Lila and now I have the opportunity to have it again. I need to find her and let her know that she is loved, that I'm in love with her and she better be ready for me because ours was a love written in the dawn.
Taking my keys, wallet, and phone, I head down to the bar to check she's not there before looking at her apartment, then Beans, Nova's house, Ace’s house, hell, I’ll even go to Dante and Mila’s building site if that’s where she’s gone to. I can't let another minute pass before she knows how I feel about her.
Mel must be changing the music because I should have heard the bass vibrating through the building by now. I stomp down the stairs, not worrying about how loud I’m being and switch on the light to the small hallway, but nothing happens. Everything remains dark. Flicking the switch again, the hallway is still dim. The bulb must have blown or maybe Dimi is up to one of his tricks. Gods knows the last time I walked into the bar like this and caught him hugging my girl. Today of all days is not the time to pull that stunt.
Turning my phone flashlight on, I walk past my office door so focused on my plan to find Charlie that I don't register that the music is still not playing. There is no glow of light surrounding the door into the bar and no noise from the bustle of people or banging from the kitchen staff. Everything is quiet when it should be overwhelmingly noisy.
Bringing up my phone contacts I'm about to call her to check her location, lost in the need to hear her voice, so when I push open the door to the bar it takes me a second to take in my surroundings and know that everything is wrong.
The hair on my neck stands on end and in the second it takes to realise how careless I've been, is all the time needed for the person waiting in the shadows to shoot their gun.
The loud echo of a single shot reverberates through my body as my leg gives out, causing me to crash to the floor.
Overwhelming pain floods my senses, and I know this is more than a flesh wound. I can feel my adrenaline rising rapidly, keeping me alert, almost jittery. I think the bullet broke my femur. I’ve been shot before, more times than I care to admit but this is different, more than just a bullet through muscles.
Fuck.
With my leg no longer cooperating, I start dragging it behind me as I try to get in a better position to assess the situation.
I can feel my knife against my calf but I have no other weapons on me. I've become slack over the years, complacent in my new life that I've let the skills of my old one slip.
Moving closer to the bar, I need to get a better vantage point with my back against the wall, but I’m slower than expected. Not getting as close as I'd like to before a figure moves in the shadows close by.
Turning as best I'm able, I reach for my knife. The irony of bringing a knife to a gunfight is not lost on me, and just as I try to lunge for it, a low chuckle echoes throughout the quiet space. Scrambling to get my pant leg up there is movement from the darkness when suddenly their boot makes contact with my head, leaving me dazed. My head spinning trying to figure out what the fuck is happening and how do I keep Charlie away from it.
“You would think you’d make sure you killed everyone in the family if you're culling a bloodline, but you never were a smart man.”
The seething tone of the person is all I hear before an uncontrollable pain erupts across my body and I can't help but cry out. Looking down I see the handle of a knife sticking out of my leg, its sharp blade lodged exactly where the bullet passed. The hand of the man still holding it as he slowly twists the blade in my thigh. Looking at him, my brain can't quite register what I'm seeing.
“Tristan?” I groan.
The face of a dead man crouches next to me as I muster the words, “You're dead?”
He continues to twist the blade, but the pain; it makes it hard to keep my thoughts focused.
Swiftly pulling the knife from my thigh in one sudden tug, he brings it to his mouth, his tongue dragging alongside the flat edge of the blade. My blood coating his mouth, so when he grins at me, all I can see is red.
“You can't kill what was already dead Vdovets? ” he says, his laugh echoing across the empty bar.
Taking a syringe from his pocket, he pops the cap and instantly stabs it into the thigh of my good leg, pushing whatever drug inside it, into my body.
Reaching out I grab onto his hand, holding onto it firmly, intending to overpower him somehow, however, I begin to feel woozy, my grip loosening despite willing it to hold on.
“What have you done?” I gasp. Suddenly overcome with fear that I'll never see Charlie again.
I do not fear death, no Bratva man does. But the idea of having so much left unsaid. Of I love you left unsaid, that I'm no longer sure what the right path to take is.
Do I find Lila in the afterlife or do I fight to stay with Charlie in the here and now?
“When I caught wind of your plan I didn't wait for you to come like everyone else. Cowering under an arsonary or faith and weapons. I took matters into my own hands. Everyone believed I had died which allowed me to hide away while you picked them off one by one. It wasn't so bad to start with but after a while, I grew paranoid. I worried that everyone I talked to knew who I was. Who I really was. The only way I get to stop looking over my shoulder is if you die, so I've come to take vengeance for my family.”
He pushes away from me huffing, his breaths deep and ragged. I can't believe what I'm hearing. That the years I spent making a new identity have been ripped away from me. That my life has been taken from me … again.
He takes the knife, still smothered in my blood and begins to pick at his fingernails, hissing when he cuts himself and sucks on the wound. A deep red smile forms as he comes to kneel on the ground in front of me again.
“I spent years tracking you down. It wasn't hard to begin with, it was like you wanted to be caught. I waited for someone to try and make an attempt on you, but no one ever dared. They were all too scared of what you would do to their families if you caught them. You see … I had the luxury of not having a family because, by that stage, you had already taken everyone that I loved.”
Each word takes effort for him to say, the pain and anger simmering away ready to burst at any point.
“I planned, prepared, and the night I was going to seek my justice, you never came. I WAITED AND YOU NEVER APPEARED. All that work and nothing to show for it. So I tried again, listened to whispers and followed the clues until I stumbled across you hiding in this dump of a bar.”
He licks his lips, the mixture of blood and saliva threatening to spill over at how excited he is becoming.
“I was going to end it all that first night. Storm in here, guns blazing and take as many people out as I could, but I knew that would only scratch the itch. I wanted you to suffer, so I watched and waited a little longer until I saw the pretty cock tease hanging off your arm. Your death will be slow and painful because I have a little something I’ve been planning. I don’t want to ruin the surprise but … okay, you twisted my arm,” he cackles to himself.
He’s delusional if he thinks I’ll agree to anything. I will fight to the death to keep him here. Away from the people I care about, away from Charlie.
“That pretty girl you're so in love with. How about I bring her here and kill her right in front of you. A front row seat so you can see exactly what my family did to the last one.”
“NO. Not her. Name your price.” I grunt out. I can’t risk Charlie, not like this. Not again. She wouldn't fall for his ploys, surely . She’s smarter than that, she will know something is wrong if I don't come looking for her. She knows we stay together every night.
“Hmm, I could be open to a gentleman's agreement. There would be conditions of course. Obviously, I can't allow you to live, but I could be open to a negotiation … In fact, let’s start the discussion now.”
Tristan walks into the shadows, returning a moment later with a sawn-off shotgun, pressing his boot down on my good leg and putting the muzzle of the shotgun to my already bleeding thigh. I try to look up at him, whatever paralytic drug he gave me has firmly taken over and I lay slouched awkwardly against the bar.
The shot rings out as he pulls the trigger without warning. Pellets rip through bone and muscle as a white hot numbness erupts over my body before I’m consumed by the darkness. Losing my fight with consciousness, knowing I'll sacrifice everything if it keeps Charlie safe.