Chapter 2 - Nova
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Clenching onto the flashlight, I wait patiently for Uncle Tommy while he rummages in his bag. The darkness surrounds us like a blanket of terror and no matter what direction I look, all I see is nothing. Animals shuffle in the forest, or monsters, at this point I'm not sure, as my panic creeps closer and closer to the surface.
I couldn't tell you at what point in my life the dark scared me but for as long as I can remember it has. I used to fall asleep by the door to my bedroom as a child, the light filtering in through the crack underneath, giving me peace. Eventually, my mother got so sick of finding me on the floor, she reluctantly purchased a night light bedside lamp. The thought of the questions that would be asked if someone found me sleeping on the floor, outweighed any kindness she could have shown me in getting some sort of light that gave me comfort.
Image was everything, and the second I tarnished that image I knew there would be a punishment. Snide and belittling comments would rain down on me until I felt numb to the world.
I was worthless. An inconvenience. But to Uncle Tommy, I was special.
Not all scars are ones you can see and one day if Johnny Mathers and I have children, I will shower them with love and affection. I will protect my children in every way that I was not. Show them that family is not always blood and that sometimes we are sent special people like Uncle Tommy to help us.
“Ah-ha! I found it. I was starting to think I would have to use a t-shirt to try and blindfold you,”
he says, grinning as I shine the light on him while he waves a piece of black cloth in the air. Stepping behind me, he gently strokes my hair and I can't help the shiver running down my spine, the second one this evening.
“Why do I need a blindfold? I thought I was meant to walk in and be surprised like how they do it in the movies?”
“Because it's a secret,”
he laughs. “I worked hard to make this a surprise and I don’t want to spoil it. You wouldn’t want to ruin it, would you? It’s a special night.”
His hands continue to stroke my hair, pulling my platinum locks down my back. Holding the blindfold in front of my eyes, he ties it, completely removing one of my senses.
Everything is heightened.
The sounds of the forest, the slight taint to the air with Uncle Tommy's cologne, his coarse synthetic shirt pressed against my back. My breathing picks up and I stumble, reaching out to the darkness disorientated.
“Uncle Tommy,”
I cry, “I’m scared!”
“Shhhh, I've got you. Tom’s got you ... I won't let you go”
I feel too hot, a slight sweat forming from my rising panic.
"It's just you and me now.”
“Is it much longer to walk?”
I say, trying to stop any sobs from escaping, knowing I’ll feel much better when I'm surrounded by people in the light of the party.
“Only a few minutes now. The door is just around the ridge.”
His hand clasps mine tightly as I try and navigate the forest floor, tall grass brushing against me until finally we stop, and the loud sound of a metal door creaks open. Stale air wafts in my face and only the sounds of Uncle Tommy’s rapid breathing can be heard.
For a short time, they disappear completely.
I dare not move, the moment is almost here where I will see all of my friends, Lizzie, and Johnny Mathers. Of course, I will behave myself so as not to make my mother upset. Ladies are controlled. She will no doubt have to make an appearance because otherwise, people would talk. Maybe, even my father will come, make an effort to escape from his study for the evening and celebrate me.
Turning eighteen is the birthday people remember. The one they talk about. I can drink alcohol, vote ... and even move out of home if I want to. I almost chastise myself for thinking it because Davis women only move out when they’re married but maybe, just maybe, my mother will let me.
“Sweetie-pie, it's ready. I’m going to lead you down some steps now, just hold me close and everything will be okay.”
The warm hands of Uncle Tommy wrap around my waist as he guides me where I need to go, telling me to step down or stay put. The mildew in the air is stronger now and I can feel the temperature drop against my skin. I hope everyone has a cardigan seeing it is a little chilly down here. Even though we’re in the last months of summer, I didn't anticipate the temperature change the further we go into the bunker.
All the guests must not want to ruin the surprise either because other than the two of us I cannot hear a single sound, our movement echoing across the enclosed space.
“Here, hold onto this rail, I’ll be back in a jiffy.”
He places my hand onto the cold metal handrail as I hear him stomp down the stairs, or maybe he is going up them. I can't tell anymore, but I have the rail to hold onto, an anchor.
A loud bang erupts above me, causing my ears to ring from the sound of it before I can make out Uncle Tommy's footsteps again. His unexpected touch to my waist causing me to cry out in fright.
“Can I take the blindfold off now ... please,”
I whisper. I think one surprise party in my life is enough, this isn't what I imagined it would feel like.
I don't think I like them after all.
Pulling my back into his chest, he's only slightly taller than me and his arms fit awkwardly wrapped around my waist.
“You can take it off now,”
he says, his breath a little too warm on my neck. Reaching up, I pull down the blindfold without hesitation, the sudden brightness of the stark space causing me to wince as my eyes adjust.
Nothing
The space is empty. Dark round tunnel-like walls surround us as Uncle Tommy pulls away from me, excitedly pointing down each tunnel, talking about the bathroom, kitchen and living space.
I don't understand. What's happening? This is my birthday party, where are the people? Where is the music? Why am I here?
Stepping into me again, Uncle Tommy begins to rub my arms. The slow up and down movement trying to comfort me as I make sense of what's happening.
“Give it a little time to get familiar, but this is our new beginning sweetie-pie. We can finally be together. I've made all of the arrangements. No one will find us here. It's just you and me, together forever like we’ve always wanted.”
A sob escapes me as I look around the space, shocked by the words I'm hearing.
“Be together? ... But you're my Uncle? I don't understand, where is everyone?”
The sobs come out harder now and he pulls me further into a dimly lit tunnel. A few battery-operated candles next to a large bed taking up almost all of the space.
“Tonight is the night you become a woman, Nova. Your eighteenth birthday. One you will never forget.”
His hand moves to the shoulder strap of the pretty dress I picked out.
The pretty dress I wore for Johnny Mathers.
The dress Uncle Tommy bought for me.
The dress I know he likes.
Pulling me toward the bed, I try to tug my arm free but he holds on tightly, hurting me.
Why is he hurting me?
Struggling against him, he pushes me down onto the bed, firmly holding my head against the mattress as a piercing scream escapes me. My cries for help ringing out to only the monsters in the darkness. Maybe someone's hiding in one of the cupboards and this is just a big joke. I don't think it's funny but someone has to hear me if I scream loud enough. Ladies don't cause a scene. My mother's words parrot back at me, like somehow this is all my fault and I scrunch my face up willing someone to hear my cries.
“Don't fight it now, Nova. I’ve waited a long time for this,”
he grunts, as I hear the fabric of my dress tear, the cold rotten air stifling my skin. My beautiful dress I wore for Johnny Mathers, destroyed.
“Someone ... anyone ... mummy ... help me.”
Clawing at the bed, the sheets feel rough against my hands, against my face, as a sharp pain causes me to scream, and I cry out again. The grunts of Uncle Tommy surround me as he moves against my back. Pain, all I feel is pain.
“Please,”
I cry. “Help me.”
I scream out the words until my voice is all but gone. His continued assault on my body lasting for minutes, hours ... days.
“Help me,”
I whisper.
Maybe somewhere, heroes do exist and he will hear me.
“Please ... help me.”
Five Years Later