Anthony #2
He came around the side of the bar and got in my face.
“You don’t owe me shit! How you think I would’ve felt if I wouldn’t have been able to do everything I could for you?
You think I would’ve been able to live with myself if I had left you behind?
Left you to DIE? Fuck outta here, Ant. You were my first best friend.
Hell, you’re more my kid than Jill’s or that nigga she let knock her up twice.
You gotta see and understand that I ain’t a hero.
I had your back out of love. Nothing more.
Out of realizing we were gone be okay and not thinking of anything else but that thought.
” He jabbed his finger into the side of his head and I could see the torment he was going through.
“You shouldn’t have had to do that.”
I was angry, but not at him. At them. At them for putting my brother in the position he’d been in to have to save us.
To take his time feeding me as the wind howled and the news reports got progressively worse.
As we watched our neighbors pack up and knock on the door but we couldn’t open the door and tell them she wasn’t home.
So we stayed. Stayed when the wind got harder and the water got higher.
Stayed when the power went and the food was gone.
Stayed when we had to get out of the house by a window.
That kind of weight would’ve been too much for anybody, but for two boys who had to figure shit out on their own it was more than oppressive.
“I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I’m your big brother, it’s my job to look out for you.
If I hadn’t done everything I could so that we could’ve made it out, do you think my ass would’ve been able to look myself in the mirror?
Young as I was, you think I would’ve continued to live if you hadn’t?
They would’ve pulled our bodies out of the fucking waters clinging to one another because THERE WAS NO WAY FOR ME TO LIVE IF YOU WERE GONE! ”
Antwan had tears running down his face and I couldn’t think of doing anything else but giving him a hug.
We held on to each other as tightly as we had when we were on that tree: like we were one another’s lifelines.
I didn’t know if the anguished noises were coming more from me or him but they were loud.
And as I gripped my brother and cried I didn’t feel the shame that always came when I thought about how we’d survived.
My heart was overwhelmed with gratitude of still being here.
The shame of having survivor’s guilt for how I’d thrown away the opportunity I’d been given.
I cried for the little boy who could protect his little brother better than their parents could.
Who’d been so parentified at a young age that he never really had a chance to be a kid and it turned him to behaviors that were against how he was at heart.
I cried for what we lost and what we’d gained throughout the years.
And hoped I’d have the ability to make him even prouder of me than I could feel he already was.
I felt arms come around us and I could only imagine that Rye and AP heard us and thought the worst. ‘Twan pulled back and gripped the sides of my face forcing me to look at him.
“I wouldn’t change a fucking thing, you heard me?
So stop thinking that you need to change anything about you.
You’re already the man you were supposed to be.
The shit you went through made you stronger.
Built you tougher. Sharpened your mind so you knew not to fall for bullshit or be a brat your whole fucking life.
Take the lessons as just that and walk with your fucking head held high.
If you owe me anything, you owe me that.
I saved your life, so now you owe it to me to live this shit to the fullest. Love your ol’ lady, earn your degree, make this fucking money, win some rings and put one on her finger.
Be the fucking man our father never was. That’s what you owe me, Anthony.”
All I could do was nod my head and wrap my arm around Aphrodite’s neck.
I pulled her to me and kissed the side of her face.
Antwan did the same to Rye and I could tell she’d dealt with him battling with this before.
Rye was silent, letting him process what he’d been feeling and Aphrodite just squeezed me like she was trying to meld her strength into me.
I stroked her back feeling myself calm down the longer I held her.
“You got that. No more self-doubt. But you taking that money, nigga.”
I thought about leaving dinner to give us time to cool off but decided against it. Being with family was going to be the thing that healed both of us. I was my brother's keeper as much as he’d been mine so I wasn’t going to leave him to handle this alone.
Grams had put her foot in the fried fish and hushpuppies that were on the table, I knew Antwan had made the rice dressing cause that shit tasted just like home.
Sunday was the only day we really allowed ourselves to eat crazy and today we definitely did that.
I sat around the table feeling lighter than I had in a minute.
Camp was on the way and I felt good about my ability to impact the team.
My offseason workouts and working on my speed and hand skills were going to ensure I could stand out during camp.
I would be happy to make the scout team again but I wanted a roster spot.
That was the real goal. We played with Nia and AP was volunteering us to babysit when we could.
I knew right then that her spot in the family was permanent.
Rye let her hold her baby so she clearly liked her and Grams ain’t talk shit about her at the table so she was good there.
Aphrodite was comfortable with my people and helped me clean up the dishes since everyone else contributed to the meal.
Maybe the fucked-up family she had made her appreciate ours even more.
Her pain was in lockstep with all of ours since this generation was going from a bunch of parent issues on all fronts.
But that only meant we’d bust our asses to make sure the next one was good.
It was close to ten before we left and even that felt too early for all of us. Phro was complaining about overeating but that didn’t stop her from bringing a plate back to the condo.
“Do you think you can handle this?”
She glanced around as she slid her purse on a shelf in the closet. I’d already divided up space for her to put her things but I was going to need to look for a bigger place than this. Aphrodite’s basement was probably larger than my whole condo but that was an idea to float to her at a later date.
“This what?”
“What you saw today?”
Was I nervous? Slightly. I had no experience being vulnerable in front of women. I didn’t think she would judge me but I’d also had the one woman who was supposed to care above all use my softness against me.
“What I saw was two brothers who needed to get something off their chest that had been festering. You’ve been holding onto guilt and he’d been carrying weight meant for somebody else.
But if you’re wondering if I’ll stand by you through highs and lows the answer is yes.
You're not going to shake me, Anthony.” She crossed her arms daring me to get rid of her and her desire to stay almost brought me to my knees.
I wanted to tell her I loved her but the emotions from today were too raw for me to get emotional again. And I didn’t want her to think I was only saying it because of how today had gone.
I walked to her, taking her hair down from the bun she had it in. I finger-combed down her locs out. Fluffing them around her face.
“Can I feel you, baybeeh?”
She grinned like she’d been waiting hours for me to say that. “You don’t even have to ask. You sure you’re okay with this? We can just snuggle—”
I chuckled under my breath as my hands pulled the long tank dress she wore over her head.
“My man and your girl can do all the snuggling they need to for a minute. Being welcomed inside your haven is all the balm my soul needs right now.”
Once she was fully naked in front of me, she undressed me.
My shirt was pulled over my head and my shorts were shoved down my hips.
My draws went with them and she flicked her tongue over the tip, licking the precum that was there forcing a hiss from my lips.
My hands were damn near shaking with the need to touch her but Aphrodite led me to the bed and nodded for me to lay back.
My dick got harder with anticipation and she crawled up my body as I lay back.
Her mouth was on my dick and I had to fight my eyes not to close as I watched her swallow my shit.
“Fuck, lil baybeeh, you comin’ like this tonight?”
She giggled before she moved her locs to one side of her face like she knew I wanted a better view.
My hands went into the sheets as she started to bob her head up and down my length.
When she took me in further and started to corkscrew her hands around the base, I had to stop her before I came too quick.
“Let me feel you, Phro.”
She glanced at me with a pout on her face before she sucked around the tip even harder before releasing me.
“Aye, we gone talk about where you learned all that. Not right now cause I wanna feel you.”
“You’re so stupid. I watch porn like a normal adult.” She rolled her eyes and then lifted her body to slide that pretty pussy down on me. She got close enough for me to feel the heat from her before I snapped back to reality.
“Condom, AP.”
“I’m on the shot. It won’t hurt this one time.”
Now why her ass tell me that?
She slid down on my dick her face contorting in pleasure as I stretched her out.
I grit my teeth and breathed deeply through my nose trying not to let off in her immediately.
I’d been warned about going raw in a girl because they might try to trap you or give you some shit, but Aphrodite had me rethinking all of that.
She was my forever so I was going to fight the urge to repeat this every time we got together.
Phro slowly rolled her hips and it felt like she was pulling me even deeper inside her body.
My hands palmed her breasts, squeezing them in tandem to the way her pussy gripped around me.
I’d been trying to avoid emotions but the way Phro was making love to my ass was pulling more out of me instead of letting them hide.
Her hands circled mine against her breast and I locked my arms to support her as she rode.
The pace was languid; her back moved with snakelike fluidity.
Aphrodite had already creamed up my dick and wasn’t silent about moaning her feelings out.
“He being good to you, baybeeh?” She moved her hips and I countered mine, stirring up her pussy like cake batter.
“Yes, Bam, so good.” Her head fell back, locs brushing against my thighs as she released all over me.
Despite how much I didn’t want to, I lifted her up so I could pull out. I damn near didn’t make it as cum shot out on my thigh. I had to close my eyes because I felt lightheaded and swore I was seeing stars for a minute.
“I ain’t ever letting you go.”