Chapter 25
HANNAH
Sofia handed a glass of wine to Hannah and took a seat in the opposite corner of her sofa, both of them tucking their feet up to the cushions. Smooth jazz played into the room from Sofia’s record collection – Hannah’s choice.
‘So, do you want to get it all off your chest?’ Hannah braved to ask.
‘How long have you got?’ Sofia asked, laughing shortly.
‘I’m here and I’m all yours for as long as you want me, Sofia.
’ Hannah was always Andrea’s best friend first and a friend-cum-big sister to Sofia second.
But part of Hannah felt like helping Sofia was, in a way, making up for not being able to help Andrea right now.
If nothing else, she knew they were both hurting, and a little woman-to-woman solidarity never hurt anyone.
Sofia sighed. ‘When Jay first turned up at the studio, I was just pleased he looked well. I’d wanted to see him in the clinic and though he had refused to speak to me or see me, I understood he needed time and space to get better.
Yet being close to him then, all I could think of was how he’d slept with at least one other woman behind my back. ’
‘So, had he discharged himself?’
Sofia sipped her wine and nodded. ‘A week early.’ She shook her head. ‘I told him he should have finished the programme. What was the point in taking 80 per cent of the steps he needed to take? But, of course, he told me he was fine. Clean.’ She shrugged. ‘He’ll never change, I see that now.
‘It was all so… off, you know? It felt, for the first time, like I was in a room with a total stranger and I could see it from someone else’s perspective. As if I weren’t me. Like I was you or Andrea, or Dad. I could see Jay for what he was and what he would never be.
‘So, maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised when he said he wanted a divorce and he wanted me to buy him out of Sanfia. Cheeky fuck. He only ever had a share in the label because of me. He was so flippant. He just said, “I want a divorce, Soph. And I want out of the label, too.”’
Sofia rubbed her face with her hands. ‘I was shocked. I mean, I thought if anyone was having doubts, it was, rightly, me. When Jay left for rehab he said he wanted to get clean and make a go of things, so it didn’t fit.’
She took a large drink from her wine glass then stared into the chilled liquid, nursing the glass between her hands.
‘Then he said, “There’s something else I need to tell you.”’
Sofia looked up to Hannah, who felt like she was being scrutinised, and she asked herself silently whether she already knew what was coming. And as Hannah took a sip of her own wine, she had a feeling she did have a good idea.
‘Andi went to see Jay at the clinic,’ Sofia said.
And Hannah didn’t want any more lies between her and the people she cared about, so she confessed. ‘I knew that much.’
Sofia nodded, more, it seemed, in acknowledgement than anger. ‘Well, Jay said she wanted to buy his share of Sanfia. Or rather she wanted XM Music Group and the Stellar label to buy his share of Sanfia.’
Hannah watched as Sofia’s eyes filled with unshed tears.
‘He said she tried to poach the label from me, Han. Since Seth is doing so well, she wants to take Sanfia back.’ A tear broke free of Sofia’s eye and she quickly wiped it away with the back of her hand.
‘How could she do that to me? Isn’t it enough that she left, that I’ve had to mortgage my home to keep Sanfia afloat?
That I work round the clock just… trying ?
‘So, Jay said he was telling me so that I could stop it from happening. He said if I buy him out quickly, he won’t give up his share to Andrea.
’ Sofia scoffed, then sobbed briefly, shaking her head to stop the onslaught of emotion.
‘I told him I don’t have the money and, do you know what he said?
He said I would have to sell the apartment. ’
‘Oh, Soph, come here,’ Hannah said, moving to Sofia’s side and draping an arm around her shoulders.
When Sofia composed herself, Hannah moved back to her own sofa, her heart breaking for her friend.
‘I just can’t believe it,’ Sofia said. She took another large mouthful of wine. ‘The two people in the world who are supposed to love me the most and they’ve betrayed me. Then again, I really wasn’t anticipating what came next either. God, what a day it was.’
‘So Rosalie flipped out big style, huh? It’s hardly surprising.’ Hannah shook her head. ‘I don’t know if Rosalie and Andi will come through this. I hope so but I’m just not sure.’
‘And if they don’t, it’s all on Andi,’ Sofia added.
Though Hannah was loath to ever not defend Andrea, she couldn’t deny that the fault was not with Rosalie. ‘Why was Ros at the studio anyway?’
‘Well, I’m not sure if she came to the studio to work – she’s been coming along to get experience for when her dad?—’
‘Oh, yeah, I know about that.’ Hannah rolled her eyes. Another of Rosalie’s fads.
‘So maybe she was coming along for that reason and saw Andi there then flipped. But she was so angry, I think maybe she came to confront me.’
‘That wouldn’t be like Rosalie,’ Hannah mused.
‘I guess people do strange things when they find out their best friend has been screwing their dad.’
‘Good point,’ Hannah conceded.
‘I’d been arguing with Jay and I told him to get out.
Then when I was alone, all I could think about was how much I hated Andrea for what she did.
I don’t know, I guess I just saw red. I was storming out of the studio to go to confront Andi.
As I walked out, Andi was there talking to Seth and I figured she was trying to poach him from me.
It all just hit me like a freight train.
I lost it. Started screaming at Andi. Seth, or Billy maybe, held me back because, honestly, Han, I think I could have murdered her in that moment.
Then we hear these heels come tapping on the pavement and Rosalie is there. ’
‘Oh God.’
‘Yup. She starts screaming at me, saying that I must have known about the affair and didn’t tell her. Then she’s screaming at Andi.’ Sofia drained the wine in her glass. ‘What a mess, huh?’
‘What a mess,’ Hannah repeated. The women fell into silence, contemplating just how huge a mess everything really was.
‘Thank you for helping me pack up Jay’s things, Hannah,’ Sofia said, eventually breaking the silence.
‘Clearing out Jay’s stuff at least feels like the first step towards the new normal – no husband, no sister, clinging on to Rosalie’s friendship by a strained thread.
’ She looked around the apartment, retro bold colours, shelves of vinyls decorating the walls, a vintage record player a feature on a seventies-style sideboard.
‘It looks bare in here. Like those first days after you take the Christmas decorations down.’
‘Men have a lot of shit but they like to call us the hoarders.’
Sofia smiled. ‘It just feels so strange. I guess I’d thought that despite our problems, I’d be married to Jay forever. For some bizarre reason, I thought that was in my control. Like, if we were broken, it was my job to fix us.’
‘It’s funny,’ Hannah said, ‘I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about just that, lately.
I’ve always thought it was my job to keep our family together and happy.
To look after the boys, and Rod, the house and work.
To try and save Andrea from herself.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘But look how that worked out.’
‘I’m sorry about your job,’ Sofia said.
Hannah shrugged. ‘It’s actually been good in some ways to have some breathing space, though the longer I pretend to Rod, the worse it’s going to be to tell him.’
‘Hannah, it isn’t my place, but Rod should know.’
‘I know. I just… I feel like I’ve failed, you know?
I feel like I need to resolve things and go to him with a solution, rather than a problem.
In truth, I thought that the whole thing would have managed to resolve itself by now and Andrea would have just given me my job back.
Na?ve, I know. I guess there’s also part of me that doesn’t want to give Rod a reason to fall out with Andi, too.
I know, I know, you’re hating on her right now. ’
Sofia’s mouth twisted. She was still hating on her sister and maybe she always would but… ‘I wouldn’t want you to leave her alone. She needs you.’
‘I used to think so. Now, I’m less sure. I think it’s time I gave you an apology for my part in all of this too, Soph.’
Sofia’s brows furrowed.
‘I knew about the affair with Hunter from the night of the Presley John concert. I guessed; she didn’t tell me.
Then I thought maybe if she just ended it, things would be fine.
So that’s what I tried to encourage her to do.
And she did, for the record. Andrea broke things off with Hunter.
She started seeing Tommy and I thought things would be okay, that maybe it was best if no one ever knew.
Then, when she found out she was pregnant, I just couldn’t?—’
Sofia spat her next mouthful of wine. ‘Come again?’
Hannah’s expression turned to one of horror.
‘My sister is pregnant?’
‘Oh, fuck. I assumed you knew.’
* * *
Hannah opened her front door with TJ on her hip, surprised to see Andrea on her doorstep.
‘Relax,’ Andrea said. ‘I’m not here to scream or yell, I’m here to apologise. You have every right to slam the door in my face and I would deserve it but I’m hoping you won’t.’
Hannah stared at her friend, who frankly looked like death.
Her face was gaunt. Grey circles coloured underneath her eyes and there was a light shadow on her cheek, which Hannah figured was from Rosalie having slapped her outside the studio, though Sofia hadn’t explained it had been quite as good a contact as it clearly had been.
‘Can I come in?’
Hannah stood aside to let Andrea step into the house, then led her through to the kitchen. Handing off TJ to Andrea, she asked, ‘Would you like tea?’