Chapter 2
Chapter
Two
TOBIN TILLER
Tobin didn’t want to go back to Tenebrae. He didn’t want to see Ciaran and Sawyer being so sickeningly in love. He didn’t want to know about whatever trouble was coming.
He didn’t want to know about any of it.
Most of all, he didn’t want to see him.
He didn’t want to acknowledge or admit to himself that he was pretty sure he knew what the ache in his hearts was.
There was a pulled thread in his chest, and the closer he got to Tenebrae, the more Tobin could feel it tugging.
Threatening to unravel.
He needed to put an end to it before it came apart completely. Before it was too late.
He saw the three figures on the pier, and he instantly knew who they were. The three people he was trying to avoid.
Because of course they’d be there. Because of course the torment would smack him in the face before he’d even moored.
He shouldn’t have been surprised. He didn’t want to avoid Ciaran and Sawyer.
It wasn’t personal. It wasn’t them. He adored Ciaran, his leader, his brother.
And he was sure Sawyer was a nice guy. Everyone else seemed to like him just fine.
It was what they represented.
And then there was Fray...
His tall, lean, and fit body, his blond hair, his infectious laughter.
The ache in Tobin’s chest burned, and the thread tugged some more.
Tobin tied off the boat and did his best to not look over at them. Which, of course, was impossible. He had to look. He had to see him. He had to.
But Fray was gone. Given his shirt on the pier and the ripple in the water below, Tobin knew he’d gone freeform. He’d disappeared under the surface, and the ache in Tobin’s chest grew sharper, more pointed.
Like a thorn.
Tobin should have been glad. He should have been happy that Fray had gone, that Fray didn’t want to see him. It should have been what he wanted. Fuck knew it was what he needed.
But sweet mercy, it was worse.
So much worse.
The ache, the burn, that damned loose thread was getting pick, pick, picked at, so close to pulling free—
“Need a hand?”
Tobin spun around, surprised to see Kellan standing there. He hadn’t heard his footfalls approaching on the jetty.
“Oh, uh,” Tobin said, startled and unsure but grateful for the distraction. “Sure.”
So he and Kellan unloaded the mail bag and the crates of food and supplies.
The trip to Strahan had been... well, not an entire shitshow, but it hadn’t been good.
He’d had a passenger. The backpacker he’d met in Southport who was trying to get to Strahan. He could have said no when she’d asked—he should have said no—but in some vain and futile attempt to prove to himself his hearts were full of shit, he’d agreed.
He’d explained it would mean an overnight stop at his place, since the trip from Southport to Strahan up the West Coast of Tasmania was a slow one, and she’d made it very clear that she was interested in sharing his bed for a night.
She was beautiful. She had long wavy blonde hair, blue eyes, sun-kissed skin, and a wide smile. She was from somewhere in Europe—he didn’t pay attention because he didn’t honestly care—and she was travelling for fun, no strings attached, looking for a one-night hookup.
She was Tobin’s type—everything he’d normally look twice at. She was a free spirit, funny, and very willing.
Except Tobin didn’t want her.
He’d had to decline her offer of sex, twice.
He’d given her his bed while he took the too-small couch, and he’d stared at the ceiling for hours, thinking of a different blond with blue eyes and a wide smile who was also a free spirit and funny.... Someone he’d been thinking about all too much lately.
Someone he shouldn’t want.
But he did. By the gods, how he did.
“You okay? Seem distracted,” Kellan said. His tone was casual, but he was far too observant.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Tobin lied.
There was a splash over at the pier, which made both Tobin and Kellan spin around, but it was followed by Sawyer’s laughter from where he and Ciaran were now in the water.
“Didn’t think he was supposed to be going in,” Tobin muttered.
Kellan sighed. “I think he wants to see if he can hear that voice again,” he said with a shrug. “Get more intel or information. Guess he’s trying to help.”
Tobin narrowed his eyes at that, because yeah right.
“At least he’s wearing a wetsuit,” Kellan added. “Less chance of dying.”
“Maybe.”
Maybe not.
Kellan made a face at that, but Tobin knew it was aimed more at him and his shitty attitude. “I think he also wants to understand Ciaran better,” Kellan said quietly. “It’s hard to be mad at him when his intentions are good.”
Tobin ignored that.
“Plus both Ciaran and Fray are in there with him,” Kellan added.
The mention of Fray’s name was like a branding iron behind Tobin’s sternum, and carrying the food supplies toward the store, in the opposite direction to where Fray was, felt wrong.
Being human felt wrong.
What he wanted to do, what his body wanted to do, was to run and dive into the water, slip into freeform and find Fray, wrap his arms around him...
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Kellan asked.
Tobin stopped walking. He tried a few deep breaths, but it did little good. “I don’t think I can stay here,” he admitted quietly.
Kellan was stunned, eyes wide, his voice just a whisper. “What?”
“I don’t want to leave,” Tobin managed to say. “I don’t want to leave when there’s so much hanging in the balance right now, but I... I think I need some distance....” He cleared his throat, but even trying to say the words out loud hurt him. “I can’t...”
“From whom?” Kellan asked.
Not why, not what happened, but whom.
Kellan was far too observant.
And Tobin couldn’t even bring himself to say his name. Not out loud, into the universe.
Because then it would be real.
“Fray,” Kellan whispered.
Tobin closed his eyes, relishing the pain that seared through him. Fuck, how he burned.
“Oh shit,” Kellan mumbled.
Tobin looked at him then. “Yeah. It’s not good. The pain of it. I can ignore it for now, but I don’t know how long for.”
Kellan immediately went into doctor mode. “When did it start?”
“It doesn’t matter. I said I can ignore it, and I will.”
“Why?”
Tobin shot him a wild look. “Because he’s my brother.”
“Not by blood. You’re not actually related.”
“Jesus Christ. Does that fucking matter?”
“Yes.”
“Well, it... it’s moot. It’s not happening. I can’t let it happen. I won’t. And he...” Tobin couldn’t help but look out to the water where Fray was.
“He what?”
“He doesn’t seem affected at all, so maybe it’s not even real. Maybe it’s just... I dunno. Because Ciaran and Sawyer and all their pheromones or whatever. It’s fucking stupid.”
Kellan smiled. He actually fucking smiled.
“The fuck is funny, Kellan?”
“Nothing,” he replied, trying not to smile so much. “But maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t register anything different because it’s not new for him.”
Tobin squinted at him. “What? What the hell does that mean?”
Kellan sighed. “Fray won’t recognise any newfound draw to you. Not right away. Because he’s been where you’re at for some time now.”
Tobin’s insides burned with bubbling jealousy. And confusion, but mostly jealousy. “He’s... he’s been bonded before?”
“No,” Kellan said with a laugh. “My god, you’re both as blind as each other. Tobin, Fray—”
Just then, a commotion broke out at the pier. Voices, raised and urgent, and all of a sudden, human Ciaran was hauling Sawyer onto the pier. Tobin thought he caught a glance of blue tentacles helping lift Sawyer up, but they were gone back under the surface so fast, he wasn’t sure....
Sawyer was coughing and spluttering, and Ciaran was, unsurprisingly, livid. “What the hell, Sawyer?”
Sawyer, half sitting up with his hand pressed to his chest, coughed out a laugh. “It was funny! You shouldn’t have made me laugh while I was underwater!”
“You’re never allowed in the water again.”
Kellan sighed loudly, looked at the mail bag he was holding, and shoved it on top of the crate Tobin was carrying. He rolled his eyes and began walking toward the pier. “Here we go again.”
Tobin would have found it amusing if he wasn’t so damned annoyed.
He was annoyed at Ciaran for letting Sawyer do stupid shit. Because the thing was, Ciaran would support all of Sawyer’s frivolous human bullshit because that’s what mates did.
That’s why Tobin didn’t want to acknowledge this stupid pending bond with Fray.
He didn’t want to be so blind. He didn’t want to be so consumed with love that common sense went out the window. He didn’t want to be controlled like that.
At least that’s what he told himself.
Convincing himself it was true was a work-in-progress. A battle he was losing....
“Here, lemme grab that,” Otis said, scaring the shit out of Tobin.
“Fuck,” Tobin gasped. Christ, that was twice in half an hour that someone had walked up on him.
Another reason this bullshit had to end.
Otis laughed. “You good, bro?” He took the crate and mail bag as if it weighed nothing.
Tobin shook his head. He most certainly was not good. “Uh, yeah.”
Otis just grinned at him. “You look tired. Maybe should have spent last night sleeping instead of...” His grin widened. “Playing host to your pretty girl guest, huh?”
There was no way he was telling anyone what really happened with his guest last night. That she’d tried to get him into bed twice and he’d declined.
My god, he was really losing his mind.
Otis was, blessedly, oblivious to Tobin’s mental gymnastics. “You got anything else you need offloaded?”
“Uh, yeah. Just one more thing. I’ll bring it over,” he said, heading back toward his boat.
He looked over to where Kellan was talking to Ciaran and Sawyer. Sawyer was on his feet now and there didn’t seem to be any dire emergency. Tobin was grateful for that, but he didn’t have an ounce of energy to spare right now.
It was taking everything he had to put one foot in front of the other and keep himself sane.
And keep himself away from Fray.