ALEX #2
I stay quiet. I remember Dad telling me he had seen bruises on Jared a couple of times, that he suspected Granddad was hurting him but couldn’t be sure.
I even remember asking him once if it wouldn’t be better if we took Jared in, but Dad said Granddad had parental rights and that on his salary supporting two kids would be much harder.
I suspect that was an excuse. Dad was a prosecutor and made decent money, but the truth was he didn’t spend much time at home and didn’t want to dump the responsibility for another kid on Dimitri.
Dimitri was older and sickly, already putting enormous effort into taking care of me. Cleaning, cooking, moving slowly after a stroke, everything cost him so much, and he was the one who basically raised me when Dad was gone all day. I’m sure that was the real reason Dad didn’t want to take Jared.
"I just couldn’t stay there anymore," Jared says. "Being called a useless piece of trash every day, being called a bastard, it was just too much…"
I study his face. Jared grew into a stunningly beautiful omega, though he definitely didn’t get his height from our side of the family, since we’re all very short.
He goes on.
"At first I went to my father’s house…"
Stop, rewind.
"Wait, you know who your father is?" I ask while taking a few more tiny sips from the carton, because only now the hunger begins twisting inside me, my stomach waking up from the first taste of food and begging for more.
"Of course I know." Jared pouts. "Even if he doesn’t believe it. The resemblance is obvious."
I lift a brow. "Wow. I didn’t know. I thought, you know, maybe your dad had some kind of fling…" I stop myself. I nearly said a drug-deal hookup, and I realize perhaps I shouldn’t say something like that to Jared.
He grimaces a little.
"My father is Cole Daniels. He’s a men’s fashion model.
I knocked on his door, desperate, begging for help.
A kid opened it, and I figured he had to be my half brother, Star.
And then his dad came to the door. I was desperate and stupid enough to tell him the truth, that I’m his husband’s son, and you can imagine how that went.
My father finally showed up too and told me to get lost. I probably caused some marriage problems," Jared says with a wince, "but I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I was running out of options. So I finally decided to go to your dad’s house. "
I swallow hard. I haven’t really talked to my dad since spring, since I moved out.
We traded a few texts here and there. He showed up briefly at my graduation, but I didn’t feel any need to see him, and even now, in a moment like this, the thought of going to him and telling him what happened to Bay and to me never crossed my mind.
Besides, I had a feeling I knew exactly what he’d say.
He warned me once about what could happen when our glands matured…
Jared continues.
"But he wasn’t home. I called him and he said he was in the hospital…"
"Wait, what do you mean he’s in the hospital?" I jerk my head up, pinning Jared with my stare.
"He said he’s been in and out for months, and he sounded really weak."
I open my mouth, stunned. How is that even possible?
"What happened, why didn’t he call me, why didn’t he tell me?"
Jared doesn’t answer.
I curse, tugging at my hair. I tried to die, I lost Bay, my world, and suddenly all of this crashes down on me? Should I even care about anything?
I’m checking out anyway.
I close my eyes.
Something just bothers me… something is not right, finally I whisper,
"I didn’t know. We had a huge fight in the spring, and since then we barely talked…"
Jared glances aside and bites his lip again.
"I don’t know anything about your problems. All I know is he told me that if I ever needed help I should come to you. He gave me your address."
My fingers itch to grab my phone, but I have to think about what I’d even say to him…
"What hospital is he in, which ward?"
"Kensington. Oncology. He said he’s been there for months, in and out."
I growl under my breath, grab the carton again, and drain it, feeling my stomach seize at the sudden fullness.
"I need to contact him…"
"Wait," Jared blurts, his lips trembling, tears clinging to his lashes, "I want to finish telling you what happened…"
Impatiently, but I manage to say, "Okay. Go on. After that you came here to me, right?"
"No…" Jared closes his eyes. "There’s this guy at my high school who’s been trying to ask me out forever, but I never gave him a chance because he has a horrible reputation. After I hung up with your dad, he suddenly called me and asked why I wasn’t in school."
I realize this is the part he really needs to tell me, the part he came here to say.
"He said his parents have a guesthouse and I could stay there if I wanted until I figured things out."
"Don’t tell me you went," I whisper.
"I went. And he was there with his two brothers…"
I curse again, pressing my hands to my temples. "Fuck."
The silence is deep, my head is buzzing, not that, not that! Why do these horrible things keep happening to the people close to me? Well, Jared is not very close, but he’s blood, which still counts. I let out a shaky breath.
He continues with a weak voice.
"They kept me there for a whole day. Finally, when they fell asleep, I managed to climb out the window. Then I came to you. You’re my only hope…"
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
And I wanted to die in peace.
To leave this horrible world!
The world that is just a bad, cruel place.
I rub my temples and shake my head.
"Oh my Fate, Jared, I’m so sorry. You should’ve come straight here. You should’ve come right away! Damn, those bastards…"
I try to stand, to pull him into a hug, but I sway and drop back onto the step. My strength still hasn’t returned.
I reach my hand toward him anyway, wanting him close, but he recoils.
"You don’t have to… you know… you don’t have to hug me," he blurts through clenched teeth.
"But I want to. I just… fuck, I haven’t eaten in three days because I was trying to die, and I’m so damn sorry. I know someone who went through something similar and…" I cut myself off. That’s not a story he needs to hear.
I stubbornly extend my hand until Jared finally takes it, and then I pull him toward me and wrap my arms around his tall, slim body.
"You can stay here, Jared. I don’t know how it’ll look, because I just broke up with my boyfriend or actually… my husband. And I don’t want to live anymore. He was everything to me."
Jared pulls back and studies my face. He’s beautiful, but the bruises give him this painful, dramatic look.
"How selfish of me," he murmurs. "Talking only about myself. What about you? Is that why you were starving yourself?"
I sigh as the weight crashes onto me again. There’s no escaping it, no conversation that can lift it.
"Yes. It turns out my husband and I are incompatible. Our glands matured almost at the same time and… oh Fate…" I squeeze my eyes shut. "He was everything to me, and now everything’s shattered," I say, rubbing my face, almost trying to push the tears back inside before they spill.
Jared’s head is hanging down, his eyes dejected.
"This life is so damn messed up. I lost Bay, my dad’s in the hospital, and now this with you. I think I’m losing my mind, I’m losing it!"
Jared blinks and suddenly turns away, as if not wanting to impose.
"Sorry… I’m sorry… I’ll go. I don’t want to be a problem or a burden."
"No, no, no!" I grab his hands, "Don’t you dare! No way. You’re staying here. I’m being all over the place because I lost my love. But even if the world falls apart, you stay with me, okay?"
"I don’t know if—"
My phone gives a soft ping, the alert for an incoming email.
Since my spam filter is excellent, I know that anything landing in my inbox is something I should read, so I ignore Jared’s surprised look, take out my phone, and check the message.
Bay Nolan
…that’s the header.
Fuck.
Bay…
I start reading, feeling my pulse jump crazy.
"Dear Alex,
I’m writing this email to settle everything that still lies between us.
Even though it turned out we’re incompatible, my feelings for you remain unchanged and will stay that way for the rest of my life.
That’s why I want you to know that your well-being will be secured.
You can live in this house, I won’t claim any rights to it.
Every month I will transfer the money you need for your living expenses, your bills, and whatever you require as long as you’re in college.
Please don’t feel guilty about any of this.
We are still a married couple and will be until you decide to file for divorce, so legally you are entitled to part of my income.
The YouTube payment just came in, so I already sent the first installment today, which should cover your costs for the next few months.
Don’t hesitate to write to me about anything, any worry or concern.
Even though we can’t be together, it doesn’t mean we can’t support each other or remain friends.
With respect,
forever loving you, Bay."
And that’s when I lose the fight with my tears. They start falling again, and moments later I’m sobbing, pressing the phone to my chest.
Bay… even after our breakup he’s still taking care of me, wanting to make sure I’m safe… and that’s the man I lost?
My love, my protector, my other half…
I’m sobbing loudly now, desperately, completely forgetting about Jared.
He trembles as though my crying shakes him.
"What happened? What did you read?"
I struggle to speak, my throat tight.
"Nothing bad, just another reminder of how amazing Bay is. He just offered to support me financially throughout college and told me I can keep living in this house… even though he’s the one who bought it."
"Bay?"
"Bay Nolan. My husband."
"I think I know him. Isn’t he that YouTuber who does those cool covers?"
"Yes, that’s him."
"Wow. He’s really hot!"
I clench my teeth. "Sorry, Jared, but I need to go see my dad now. Your room will be the one upstairs. There’s a small bathroom there too, you can use it."
Jared stares at me, then suddenly reaches out and shyly squeezes my hand.
"I’m really sorry you’re going through so much. I wouldn’t have come here if I’d known…"
"Who knows, maybe you saved my life," I whisper, letting my head drop to my chest.
For a brief moment, there is silence while our hands remain joined.
At least now I know there are still people I might be able to help, that need me. Or maybe they’re the ones who will help me… stay alive?