Chapter 25
◆◆◆
A few hours later, after eating something and regaining a bit of strength, I take an Uber to the hospital. Jared insists on coming with me.
Dad is here in the oncology ward. Stage four cancer.
Jared stays in the hallway while I step inside, shaking all over. Stress, grief, shame crash into me at once. I had no idea my dad was dying, that he was suffering…
I walk into the single room.
Dad is lying in the bed, pale as paper, unmoving. His eyes look empty and distant, as if they’re already seeing another world.
"Hi, Dad…" I whisper weakly as I sit, reaching for his hand. It’s cold, thin.
I feel terrible for being distant for so long and essentially eliminating him from my life.
"Hello," he answers, his voice trembling.
We sit in silence for a long time, and then he suddenly says,
"I got the diagnosis a few days before you decided to move out."
Silence again.
"You probably thought I was a mean parent who threw you out at the first disagreement, but I didn’t want you to suffer knowing I was sick. You had your life, your love."
I don’t know what to say because I’m out of tears. It feels like all I do lately is cry and cry, and the world ignores it while everything around me collapses. I can’t stop the destruction. It’s ever-present.
"I didn’t want to stain your happiness with the ugliness of my illness, Alex. And I hoped the experimental, expensive treatments would help me recover, get better, but unfortunately they didn’t work."
"What… what does that mean, Dad?"
"I have a few weeks left."
To say the ground disappears under my feet would be an understatement, because it already vanished when Bay left. Now I’m just falling faster through the void.
"Oh my gosh, Dad… I’m sorry…"
His pale face tightens with pain.
"The most important thing is that you’re happy and that you have Bay. That comforts me…"
"No, I don’t have him anymore…" I whisper and tell him the truth.
With every word I speak, the strength seems to drain from him. I’m trembling too, shivering.
"I’m sorry I didn’t reach out to you these last days, but… my world stopped existing, Dad. I loved him so much, I still love him. He wants to support me financially, but what does that matter if I don’t have him? I’m devastated, and now this… you… in the hospital… I’m sorry. I was a bad son."
"Don’t apologize, son. I know how you must feel.
I feel guilty that my treatments drained so much money, and the house we live in is mortgaged.
I won’t be able to leave you much or help you.
So hearing that he wants to support you brings me relief.
But also… I want you to know that a few weeks ago I reached out to your biological father. "
My whole body jolts.
Wait, what did he say?
"Really? You always said he didn’t know."
A quiet breath escapes him. His pale eyes focus on me.
"I couldn’t take that truth to my grave. It wouldn’t have been fair to you or to him."
"What did he say…" I whisper, something breaking tight inside my throat.
"I told you he has a family and children, and that he’s a public figure. I was afraid he wouldn’t want the scandal—"
"A public figure?"
Dad goes silent for a moment, gathering strength. His pale lips tremble.
"Yes. But he surprised me. He told me that if you ever find yourself in financial trouble, you can reach out to him and he’ll help.
He can’t promise to bring you into his life or reveal you to the world, but he won’t refuse support if you need it.
He criticized me for keeping it from him.
He’s a good man, but considering who he is, I understand his reasons very well… especially since I’d lied to him too."
"I don’t understand…"
A long silence. His eyes are closed. I think he’s asleep, but suddenly he speaks.
"That night in the hotel… the thought crossed my mind, you know, that something might come out of that sex, that maybe I could have a child, and with someone from such a talented and gifted family…"
"I… I still don’t understand."
"So I told him I had an IUD and couldn’t get pregnant."
I let out a loud breath.
Wow. Just… wow.
My dad really built his life on many lies. I want to understand him and justify him, but sometimes it’s really hard. Getting angry while he’s on his deathbed would be cruel, but another lie weighs on me anyway.
"Oh, Dad, I don’t even know what to say. So many people could’ve made different choices, so many things could have turned out another way."
Dad’s voice breaks. "Well, yes. Mistake after mistake, again and again, but all of them are mine. And you… having you was never a mistake. I stand by that. I just never wanted the shadow of my wrongdoings to fall on you, Alex…"
My heart aches so much, but I force the vital question out. "What family is this, these rich and gifted people?" My voice turns shaky.
"The Lowens."
"What!?"
His pale lips curve into a faint smile.
"Yes. Funny, right? I worked on a case once and met him then. Later I advised him… he was great, smart, dedicated…"
"Wait, let me guess. I know all their names. There are five brothers, right?"
"Yes."
Everyone knows the Lowens, they’re a famous millionaire family.
I know the oldest is Victor, a press mogul, an alpha.
Second is Thor, probably the least known, who inherited their father’s investment company, also an alpha.
Third is Sebastien, an omega, co-owner of the famous and powerful Omega Red Line Agency.
Fourth is Jacob, also an omega, the head of DevApp where Bay’s brother Winter works.
And the youngest is Blue Lowen, an omega, a geneticist, well-known and award-winning scientist from Malden Pharmaceutical.
I list them for my dad.
"That’s right. I didn’t know you were interested in them."
"It was by chance. I once met Victor’s son, Axel, at a chess tournament. He was really good. He got second place right after me. I got interested and read a bit about him because he was going to be in the next tournament and I wasn’t sure if I could beat him. We were neck and neck."
Dad exhales and quietly asks,
"So who do you think? Which one of the five brothers is your father?"
"It has to be Victor or Thor. I doubt you slept with their father, the old patriarch Lowen. The guy must’ve been around sixty-five back then, since it was eighteen years ago…"
Dad closes his eyes, a strange smile on his pale face.
Exactly then a nurse walks in, and I curse under my breath.
Terrible timing.
"We’re doing the doctor’s rounds now."
Dad reaches for my hand and squeezes it lightly. He’s clearly running out of strength.
"We’ll talk later, son. Please remember that I love you, and forgive me for all the hurt I caused you."
"That’s okay, I just…"
"I’m very sorry about what happened with Bay, but it was beautiful of him to choose to support you. It gives me peace to know that when I’m gone, your life will be secure. He’s such a good boy. I truly wanted things to work out for you two."
He takes a breath, but it’s shallow now. He’s frighteningly pale.
He whispers, "Their family… they’re good people… I was happy you were with one of them, but the fact he promised to support you… it lets me sleep without fear. You won’t even have to ask your father for it, because I know that would be painful and difficult."
I squeeze my eyes shut.
The nurse makes a harrumphing sound.
"I’ll see you later, Dad…"
"You’re such a good kid, Alex," my dad whispers, and these are the last words he ever says to me…
Unaware of what will follow, I’m heading out with Jared, to buy him some clothes. Even with everything that’s crashed down on me, I can’t let him go back to our granddad. He’s just a kid and the man is a bastard.
When we return to the hospital after finishing the shopping, the doctors tell me… that my dad passed away unexpectedly.
I stand in the hallway beside Jared, who looks up at me shyly and gently squeezes my arm.
"I’m sorry…." he whispers.
And the emptiness around me expands in circles, like it wants to hunt me down, crush me, swallow me into its vast open mouth. I sway, and the world goes dark as I fall, caught only by Jared’s thin arms.
◆◆◆
I see Bay one more time at my dad’s funeral, and his parents and brothers come with him to pay their last respects. There are also many of my dad’s colleagues from work, because he was well liked and respected as a prosecutor.
They stand a little apart from me at first, giving me some space.
His parents look rough, and I have no idea why.
Their True Mate magic always kept them looking incredibly young, like twenty-five, and now they both look closer to thirty-five.
Some people would still say it’s impressive considering they’re both over fifty, but the change is so drastic it feels like something horrible happened, something the magic of their Bond couldn’t fix.
His dad stands between Bay and his husband, pale, his eyes strangely distant and washed out, like something is slowly eating away at him. His fingers rest on Bay’s and his husband’s forearms, as if he needs their support just to stay upright, which is unsettling.
I get this horrible intuition, like… what if they know about Bay’s past now? But I don’t dare ask.
After the burial they come up one by one to offer their condolences. Bay’s dad’s movements are a little shaky, and he leans in to whisper in my ear that I shouldn’t hesitate to reach out to him in any situation. His voice is barely a rustle, weak and almost inaudible.
All his brothers, who I came to love over the years, offer their sincere condolences too. Bay is the only one who doesn’t hug me. He stands in front of me, and when our eyes meet, tears slide down my cheek and… down his too.
"Stay strong, Alex. Remember that you can always come to us if you need any kind of support. I’ll always be there for you," he whispers.
I don’t sense his scent at all, so I assume he’s on suppressants.
"Thank you, Bay. Luckily Jared is with me now," I manage to force out through my tight throat. "I’m taking care of him because he needs my help, he went through a rough time."
"If there’s anything I can do, don’t hesitate to contact me. Promise me, Alex, that you’ll let me know if you need anything, all right?"
I nod, avoiding his eyes because I don’t have the mental strength to look at what I’ve lost. It’s too much.
My world has crumbled. I don’t have Bay, I don’t have my dad, after summer I’ll be starting a new life in college, but I feel no hope, no joy.
Everything has withered and burned out. There’s no meaning left, life has lost its sweet vibrancy.
A few others are there too, more distant acquaintances, and all of them, along with my dad’s friends from work, offer their condolences and their help if I ever need it.
Barely any of it reaches me. I turn away and leave with Jared and Dereck, who also came. One life of mine has ended completely, and now another begins, something terrifying and unfamiliar, like vast dark oceans no one has explored, where hidden monsters and shallow traps wait beneath the surface.
Everything I see ahead of me is filled with loneliness and emptiness.