ALEX
Present day
Blue walks up to the bed where I’m lying, holding a small device in his hand, and I don’t even bother trying to guess what it’s for.
I’m hooked up to IVs, my head spinning a little like it always does after a procedure.
"I have good news," he says as he looks at the tiny screen, giving me a faint smile.
"Finally, it took long enough," I say dryly.
"Oh, put that sarcasm somewhere no one will ever find it, science doesn’t work overnight, it’s a delicate lengthy process," Blue says with his usual crooked smile.
The clinical trials ward of the genetics department is empty today, the two beds next to mine aren’t occupied by anyone, I’m the only person being experimented on today, and I’m also a regular here, someone the whole institute knows by name.
For the past four years I’ve been coming here almost every week, every two at most, whenever the research team working on compatibility studies needs to run tests on me.
"We have a breakthrough, we finally have a breakthrough," Blue says seriously as he sits beside me.
"The histamine markers are going down with Compatron therapy combined with phototherapy. The drop is slow but steady, and I think ten months, a year at most, and your problems will disappear."
For a second my breath stops, but then I just have to grumble a bit in impatience, and, frowning, I ask, "Why so long?"
Blue sighs.
"You’re not a scientist, Alex, but I can tell you briefly that if we gave you higher doses the effect might be the opposite of what we want, you could say that giving it in small amounts tricks your immune system, with a bigger dose it may find a way to bypass it.
It’s a bit like how, in ancient times, kings would poison themselves with arsenic, taking it in small doses to build immunity to larger ones.
I can’t give you too much too early or I’ll kill you. "
"Will the side effects be similar to arsenic too?"
Blue makes a particular face but tries to stay patient with me, which is obvious.
"The arsenic comparison was just an example, Alex, don’t take it too seriously.
It’s simply an analogy that sometimes giving small doses of a toxin makes the body develop an unexpected mechanism it doesn’t normally have.
Do you understand what I mean? Yes, you’ll have side effects, the therapy might weaken you at times, but long-term your problem should be solved.
Lab tests show that your tissue, when steadily exposed to Compatron, stops producing that violent burst of v-histamine that appears whenever it comes in contact with Bay’s DNA. "
"So… there’s hope?"
Blue nods. "A great deal of it."
Something tightens in my chest.
"So you’re telling me this is it? The project succeeded?"
He smiles broadly, which for him is unusual, his face is usually more sour, that’s his default.
"And on many levels. Next week I’m scheduled for the first commercial sale of compatibility tests to a growing matchmaking agency. If I had never started this research, this breakthrough wouldn’t have been possible, so in a way I’m grateful to you. You’re the quiet spirit behind this success."
I give him a faint smile, because my goal was never to help Malden Pharmaceuticals achieve commercial success, and yet I’m contributing to it in some indirect way.
When Blue first presented the research proposal to the board, they were skeptical, and the only reason it moved forward was because Sebastien funded the initial phase.
Soon after, Blue managed to make a huge breakthrough, he discovered factors in the blood responsible for the negative reaction between incompatible individuals, but what was even better was that these factors weren’t present when my blood was tested against Bay’s.
Blue repeated the tests on a group of other people and thanks to that we confirmed without a doubt that Bay and I didn’t share the same incompatibility typical for our community.
That puzzle piece skyrocketed the rest of the research.
Finally, after a few years, Blue developed a commercially usable test that allows one person’s compatibility with another to be checked and filters out incompatible pairs.
The test makes it possible to mark not only all incompatible individuals but even those with low compatibility, which was a massive success.
It meant that institutions like matchmaking agencies, which are very popular in our community, could gain a powerful tool for filtering out ill-matched partners.
Never before in the history of science had anyone managed to identify any specific genetic factor indicating who was compatible with whom.
At this stage it was still impossible to pinpoint the exact factor responsible for the differing compatibility levels of people who were on a higher part of the compatibility spectrum like half mate or high mate, but excluding incompatible and low-compatibility individuals was already a huge milestone.
Sebastien hadn’t had to pay for the research progress in a long time because Malden Pharmaceuticals fully funded it, seeing an enormous opportunity for profit.
Of course the government was also interested in acquiring such tools due to a range of programs aimed at increasing beta fertility, and finding matched individuals could guarantee a higher success rate for the Beta Activation Program.
"I’m glad there’s a light on the horizon," I muttered cautiously. I guess after four years I couldn’t fully grasp it or appreciate it. "And I still have to be a little patient, right?"
"Not much longer, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, Alex. A very real one."
"When will I be able to…" I hesitate, my voice breaking slightly, "do the test on the real body? Touch him?"
"I’d advise against speeding it up. You could trigger another surge of v-histamine, and that might slow down the effects of the therapy. I think the safe point will be in about seven to ten months, if I’m assessing it correctly."
"Patience, Bay," I whisper to myself, "I’m coming to you, I’m coming to you, my love, if you still want me. But I didn’t give up, I’ll never give up."
Sighing deeply, I ask,
"So when’s the first therapy session?"
"It’ll have to take place in a controlled environment; we’ll use our phototherapy lab.
You'll need to come in twice a week so we don’t overdo it, Compatron has to be administered under medical supervision, so you’ll need to appear regularly.
But you’re already a veteran at this so I assume it won’t be a problem. "
"All right," I whisper obediently, and inside I feel a rush of excitement.
"Good luck, Alex."
I nod. "Thank you, Blue, I hope my journey is finally coming to an end… thanks to you!"
Blue’s face grows thoughtful. "Fate sometimes has its own ways, but I wish you what you wish for yourself. That’s the… um. Safest approach." At that last part, his tone turns a bit dry. But I’m not surprised; it’s typical Blue, always in a slightly snarky mood.
◆◆◆
When I arrive at the dean’s office the day before Orientation Day to exchange a few words with the head of my department about several schedule adjustments for the year, I’m practically attacked by the posters hanging all over campus, and they make my head spin.
I haven’t been here in the past week because I had guests, Jared came to visit with his little son Tommy.
The visit came with mixed feelings, on the one hand I was happy to host Tommy, who is already a year and a half, and on the other hand I saw the state Jared was in, and that kept me from relaxing completely.
His husband is running in the state senate elections this year and his career is gaining momentum, but his marriage to Jared is only perfect on the surface.
Jared didn’t tell me much, but some things don’t need to be said to scream loudly the moment you look at someone.
There were a few moments when I tried to talk to him, to suggest different options, including divorce, but Jared quickly shut me down, changed the subject or refused to answer at all.
No matter how I tried, gently or bluntly, most of his answers sounded more or less like this: if I leave Mark I’ll be left with nothing, he won’t let me go, he’ll destroy me, I’ll disappear from the face of the earth if I try to oppose him, I’ll end up back in the hands of bad people again, so there’s no other option.
It is hard for me to bear it when I see Jared clench his teeth and suffer, and I cannot do anything about it, which is why that visit left me with a bittersweet feeling, warmed only by little Tommy, who is an adorable child and thankfully took after his dad completely with his white blond hair and green eyes.
Now the academic year is beginning, and I have no idea that someone will appear on my campus, not just anyone but… Bay.
I stare at the poster showing him with his band, I see Malik there as well, he looks good, the two of them together on stage always make people speculate about some kind of romance, and ever since Cosmo left the band, people have been pairing them nonstop.
Malik is very attractive with his dark skin and beautiful face, he looks absolutely stunning and creates a striking contrast next to Bay’s pale skin and red hair.
Fans have all kinds of conspiracy theories about their secret romance, but I hate reading about them because it drives sharp blades of jealousy straight into my heart.
"I will beat you someday, Malik," I whisper, "I will get Bay back, that day is coming."
Bay looks incredible on that poster, and I stare at his flawless face for a long moment.
Should I go to that concert tomorrow, or skip it to avoid sinking deeper into frustration, knowing that so much time still has to pass before he and I can even touch each other again?