Chapter Three
October 2014, Canterbury, Kent, England
After a restless night’s sleep, Molly dragged herself out of bed, and into the shower. She put her make-up on, covering the scar on her eyebrow which was still a dark purple. Opening her wardrobe, she decided on a blue dress printed with teacups and saucers, thick black tights, and her navy ankle boots.
She poked her head into her sister’s bedroom. Clothes were strewn over the armchair in the corner of the room. Piles of paper, which Molly assumed were scripts, were strewn across the dressing table. Her wardrobe door hung open, revealing numerous hangers pressed tightly against each other, a riot of clashing colours and textures. At least her bed was empty, which meant her sister was awake. She shuddered at the mess, and pulled the door shut. When she got downstairs, she nodded approvingly at the dining table. A china rack was full of toast. There was butter, jars of jam, and a floral teapot, with cups, saucers, and plates. Saskia appeared from the kitchen, where the radio was playing, carrying a jar of peanut butter.
‘Morning, Mole,’ she said. Breakfast’s ready!’
‘You made me breakfast?’ Molly tried not to sound surprised, but it was usually the other way around. She sat down opposite Saskia and poured her a cup of tea before pouring one for herself.
‘Of course,’ Saskia smiled. ‘You had to stuff your toast down yesterday because we were both rushing around, so today I wanted to make it more relaxed for you.’
‘Thanks, love, I appreciate it.’ Molly smiled as she spread her toast with butter and jam, touched by Saskia’s gesture. ‘I’ll be back at seven tonight if you’re free to come and get me,’ she said through a mouthful of toast.
She took a glance at her sister’s outfit. Today it was an oversized yellow hoodie, luckily with no sweary slogan, and a zebra print cardigan. Her eyes were heavy; this time of the morning was not Saskia’s favourite.
‘I swapped my shifts this week so I could come and get you,’ Saskia replied. ‘Ezio understands. He wanted to come and escort you to the station himself.’
‘That doesn’t surprise me. I still remember his colourful response when you told him what had happened to me.’ Molly shook her head.
‘I hope that the police catch the guy who mugged you before Ezio does.’ Saskia cackled, taking a sip of her tea. ‘Did you speak to Mark last night?’
‘He called while you were asleep on the sofa.’ Molly’s eyes remained fixed on her cup.
‘And how did that go?’ Saskia said drily. ‘Did he ask you how you were? Let me guess, he hadn’t even remembered you were going back to work yesterday.’
‘You’re right again.’ Molly winced. ‘But once I reminded him, he did at least manage to ask about it. So that’s something. He just doesn’t do feelings. I never know what he’s feeling. He’s a mystery to me.’ She finished the last of her tea and put her empty mug down on the table.
Saskia snorted. ‘He’s something Mole, but I’m not sure it’s a mystery. More like a shitty boyfriend who pretends not to do feelings so he can get away with the bare minimum.’
‘You don’t have to date him, Saskia.’ Molly continued eating her toast. She loved her sister, but she had no filter.
Saskia licked a smear of jam off her finger. ‘No, but watching you date him makes me furious. If I was dating him, I would have told him to fuck off a long time ago.’
Molly ignored Saskia and checked at her watch. ‘I think we should get going. The busy train will have left, and if we go now, we can make the slightly less busy one.’
She didn’t want to talk about Mark, and she knew Saskia would move on to something else if she didn’t respond to her.
‘Fine,’ Saskia said, standing up and clearing up the empty plates. ‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t argue with you. You’re probably nervous enough as it is.’
‘It’s a good distraction,’ Molly said, raising her eyebrow. She stood up and took their empty mugs into the kitchen.
‘I just think you deserve better, Mole.’ Saskia followed Molly into the kitchen and put the jam back into the fridge. ‘He snaps his fingers, and you go running off to see him, but he’s never there for you when you need him.’
‘It’s not like that, Saskia.’ Molly wiped the toast crumbs off the worktop, then turned round to face Saskia. ‘I appreciate your concern, but this is not a situation that I need or want you to get involved in.’
‘Noted,’ Saskia said and pulled Molly in for a hug. ‘I love you and I am here for you. Let’s get you to the station.’
***
Chris’s alarm woke him up and he groaned, rubbing his face. It was still dark, and it was so early, too early to have to get up and go to work. He and Alex had stayed at Mimosa last night until midnight planning their set and when he’d got home, he hadn’t been able to sleep. He’d still been awake when Scott got home at two am.
He dragged himself into the shower and got dressed, before quietly leaving the flat, carefully shutting the door so that he didn’t wake Scott. It was dark as he walked to the station, where the bright lights blinded him as he swiped his ticket and walked through the barrier.
When he got on the train, he scanned the carriage, wondering if Molly was there but there was no sign of her. He put his headphones in and pulled out his book, trying to concentrate on it, but his eyes kept closing. His phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his coat pocket.
Scott: Is your train girlfriend there? Is she the reason you couldn’t sleep last night?
Chris rolled his eyes and replied.
Chris: Maybe... I can’t stop thinking about her. She’s not on the train this morning.
Chris’s stomach rumbled as he walked to his office, so he picked up a granola bar and a couple of bottles of fruit juice from a café. When he reached the vast glass and steel structure where he worked, he pushed open the door, walking into the marble lobby and over to the receptionist.
‘Morning Penny! How are you doing?’ He smiled at her.
‘I’m fine thank you sweetheart, how are you?’ she asked, her brow furrowed. ‘Are you alright?’
‘I didn’t sleep very well,’ he replied. What else could he say? That he’d fallen for a complete stranger on the train last night and couldn’t sleep because he was thinking about her? He handed her one of the bottles. ‘I got you a watermelon and pineapple juice. That’s the one you like, isn’t it?’ He’d picked up one for her before, when she couldn’t leave the desk to get her lunch.
She took the bottle. ‘Yes, that’s my favourite, thank you, that’s so sweet of you.’
‘No problem.’ Chris stuffed the other bottle into his Star Wars satchel and yawned.
‘Why don’t you go for a nap in the server room? I won’t say a word.’ She mimed zipping her lips. ‘If you get an hour now, you’ll be right as rain by lunchtime.’
‘You sound pretty confident about that. Have you done that before?’ Chris whispered; afraid he would burst out laughing. Penny was as straightlaced as they came. She would definitely not sneak off for a nap.
‘Of course not,’ she replied, folding her arms, and nodding at the bottle on her desk. ‘Thanks for the juice.’
‘You’re welcome.’ Chris replied. ‘See you later.’ He walked through the reception and into the lift to get to his morning meeting with Kevin, the MD. He had no idea why Kevin liked him so much, but he suspected it was because of Chris’s intimate knowledge of his browser history.
***
As darkness enclosed the city that evening, Molly’s palms started sweating as she thought about walking to the station. It had been a pretty standard day. She’d eaten her packed lunch at her desk, watching the suited commuters marching down the road with their paper bags full of sushi, wraps and noodles, and scowled at them, wishing she was brave enough to go out there herself. The crowds, and traffic unnerved her though, and she was glad of the sheet of glass that separated her from them.
She put her coat on and stuffed her phone, book and almost empty box of cookies into her bag.
A voice beside her made her jump.
‘Molly, I’m catching the train from Victoria tonight, do you want to walk together?’
It was Ed, one of the other editorial assistants. His soft brown eyes fixed on her as she put on her coat. He wasn’t much taller than her and as she stood up, she finally felt able to respond. ‘Did Karl ask you to do this?’ She knew he couldn’t lie and would crumble under the gentlest of interrogation.
He squirmed. ‘Well, he didn’t directly ask me, I mean, I wasn’t asked to...’
She cocked her head to the side and raised her eyebrow.
He held up his hands. ‘Alright, he asked all of us if we would take it in turns walking you to the station after work. He knows you’ll never ask. You’re too bloody independent.’
‘I’ll be fine, Ed,’ she said, despite being rooted to the spot.
‘You’re in here pacing like a tiger because you know you’ve got to go out there and you don’t want to. Why don’t you let me walk you there?’ He shifted his bag on his shoulder.
She sighed. ‘You’re right. Thank you.’ She followed him to the lift. ‘I’m not that independent. I could be living on my own by now, but I’m not, I’m still living with my sister, clinging to her like a limpet.’
He laughed as the lift doors opened and they got in. ‘More like the other way around. Has Saskia got a job yet?’
‘Yes, she’s waitressing, not reading scripts and forgetting to go to auditions.’ She shook her head.
‘I think you like mothering her.’ He raised an eyebrow. ‘I think part of you doesn’t want her to get her big break in case she moves out.’
Her eyes widened. ‘Maybe. Anyway, what’s happening with you and Samuel, have you found somewhere to live yet?’
‘We’re trying to find somewhere in Kent; rent is ridiculous here,’ he replied.
The lift doors opened, and they walked across the lobby, waving goodnight to Sue on the way out. As Molly stepped out of the door, she froze. The darkness seemed to amplify the sound of the traffic, and the sirens. The neon lights on every building highlighted the crowds of people jostling their way back to the station. Her body started trembling and she turned back, towards the bright lights of the lobby.
Ed offered her his arm. ‘You can do this,’ he said. ‘I’m with you, alright, and I’m staying right with you until we get back to the station. It’s OK to be scared. I would be.’
She nodded and slid her arm into his. ‘I hate this. I hate feeling like this, so completely trapped and afraid.’
He steered her towards the crowds of commuters. ‘I bet you do. I won’t pretend to understand, but I do know that you won’t feel like this forever.’
‘I hope not.’ She kept her eyes focused on the road ahead of her, and her arm tucked into Ed’s.
‘When are you going to move in with Mark?’ he asked.
She sucked in a breath. ‘I don’t want to live in London, and he doesn’t want to live in Canterbury.’
‘One of you has to give in at some point,’ he said, pulling Molly across the road with him.
‘It’s not going to be me,’ she replied as she hurried to keep up with him.
‘Sticking to your guns. I like it,’ he said, then gestured theatrically to the station entrance. ‘We’re here already! It wasn’t so bad asking for help, was it? We had a nice little walk and a catch up. It was fun, right?’
She gave him a friendly squeeze as they walked across the concourse. ‘It was fun. Thanks, Ed.’
‘I’m not going anywhere until you’re through the barrier.’ He let go of her arm as they got to the gate for platform three.
‘You’re a good friend.’ She gave him a hug.
‘It’s nothing.’ He waved a hand airily. ‘But if you wanted to make some more of those cookies for us, I definitely wouldn’t complain.’
‘Of course.’ She pulled her ticket out. ‘á bient?t, mon cher.’ Waving to him, she swiped it through the barrier and ran towards the train, which was leaving any minute now. Please let him be on the train. I need him, she thought to herself, scanning the carriage, before taking the nearest empty seat, next to a woman with a collection of shopping bags tucked between her legs.
She pulled out her novel and started reading. The beeping of the train doors made her jump, and she looked up, her eyes meeting Chris’s. He was a few rows ahead of her, and he nodded to her. She smiled at him, and wished she could swap seats with the woman next to him, but she didn’t want to make it totally obvious that she wanted to be sat next to him. He smiled back at her, then pulled his Kindle out of his bag, so she got her book out and started reading.
A while later, she was so engrossed in her book that the woman next to her had to practically shout at her to ask her to move. She apologised and stood up to let her out, taking the window seat for herself. A flood of people got off the train, and a smile spread across her face as Chris appeared in front of her.
‘Is this seat taken?’ he asked.
‘It is now,’ she replied, as the relief washed over her. Her breathing slowed; her body relaxed. She had no idea why he had this effect on her. Mark didn’t. He was always calm, but tightly wound.
‘No dramatic power cut tonight then,’ he said.
‘It’s been incredibly boring.’ Her eyes ran over the hint of light brown stubble on his jaw and his bloodshot eyes. He’d clearly slept as badly as she had.
‘Apart from your saucy novel that is.’ He smirked and gestured to her book.
She laughed. ‘It’s my sister, Saskia’s. What do you read?’
‘Oh, mostly crime stuff, detective novels,’ he replied. ‘Do you know Gaspard Millot? I love his stuff. I found one of his books at home when I was a kid, and I became obsessed with reading them all.’
She flinched, her eyes not meeting his. ‘Uh…Yes, I”ve heard of him.’ She changed the subject quickly. ‘I prefer historical fiction, but I’m trying something new today. Yesterday was rough. Saskia thought it would help.’
‘I could tell.’ He smiled at her. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’
‘I guess so.’ She’d practiced speaking about it without any emotion. No feelings, just words. ‘Two weeks ago, I was mugged outside the station. I’d got a late train home after drinks with my workmates, and some guy grabbed me in the car park. He punched me so hard I fell over, and then he stole my handbag.’
His eyes widened. ‘Molly, I’m so sorry. Did anyone help you? There must have been other people in the car park.’
She shook her head. ‘It was over so quickly. I went to the police, but the guy had a hood, and I couldn’t give a good description of him. I drove home and didn’t leave the house for two weeks.’ She studied her fingernails, afraid to meet his gaze. ‘Yesterday was the first time I got on the train again after it happened.’ Her stomach lurched, and she dug her fingernails into her palms. One day it wouldn’t hurt so much to talk about it. But today was not that day.
‘You’re so brave,’ he said. ‘That must have been so hard, and the power cut yesterday probably didn’t help.’
‘It wasn’t ideal,’ she said. ‘But you helped me through it. I’m so sorry I grabbed you.’ She felt her cheeks flush again at the memory.
‘I could tell you were going through something,’ he said. ‘My mum used to sit with my brother when he was scared or upset and just talk to him, get him to focus on his breathing. It always calmed him down.’
‘Your mum sounds wonderful,’ she replied, and a pang of sadness enveloped her. Her mum had always been there for her when she was afraid.
He nodded. ‘She’s a counsellor, and very good at reading people. She seems to always know what they’re thinking or feeling, and what they need, especially my brother.’
‘Are you still close with your family?’ she asked.
‘Oh yeah. I live about twenty minutes from my parents. My brother and I live together,’ he replied. ‘We’ve been inseparable since we were five.’
She frowned, puzzled, but before she could speak, he continued.
‘Scott was my best friend at school, and he turned up at my house one afternoon after school in tears,’ he said quietly. ‘He’d run away from home. His dad was an alcoholic. We had no idea until Scott told us what was going on. My parents adopted him a year later.’
‘What happened to his mum?’ she asked.
‘She died when he was two,’ he replied. ‘He doesn’t remember her.’
‘Oh wow, that must be so hard.’ She sucked in a breath as a familiar stab of pain, of sadness and loss, coursed through her chest.
He nodded. ‘He’s always seen my mum as his mum, and when we adopted him, he got two new aunts too. Now he’s surrounded by mums.’ He laughed. ‘They can be a bit full on, but they mean well.’
‘They sound lovely. They’ve taught you well. You helped me yesterday,’ she said.
She wished that she had aunts, some female figure that she could turn to, but both of her parents were only children.
‘You don’t know this, but you helped me,’ He lowered his voice. ‘When I first started my job a few months ago, I was so nervous, and your smile was the first thing I saw when I got on the train. No one else even noticed me, but you gave me the biggest smile. I’ve never forgotten it.’
‘A smile doesn’t cost anything,’ she replied, her heart skipping a beat at his words. I’ve never forgotten it. That was adorable. She was saving those words for when she needed a pick me up. ‘I’d never seen you before and you were like a deer in the headlights, you know? I figured a smile might help. What do you do?’
‘I work in IT for InvestTech,’ he said. ‘Do you know it?’
She nodded. ‘I know it, the building is just around the corner from mine.’
‘What do you do?’ he asked.
‘I’m an editorial assistant at Toucan Publishers,’ she replied, finally meeting his eyes. Even in the horrible fluorescent lighting of the train, he was ridiculously good looking. ‘I work in children’s books. It’s kind of my dream job. I loved books as a kid.’
She smiled to herself. It wasn’t love. It was an obsession. While Saskia loved to perform and entertain, Molly had loved to hide in the corner with a book.
‘That sounds like a very cool job,’ he replied, nodding.
‘I love it,’ she said, smiling. ‘It’s stressful sometimes, but my team are brilliant and have been so supportive over the last few weeks.’ She remembered the box at the bottom of her tote bag and pulled it out. ‘I made these cookies for the guys I work with to say thank you, would you like one?’
His eyes lit up as she offered the tin to him. ‘You made these? They look incredible.’
‘I did. Help yourself,’ she replied.
‘Thanks, Molly.’ He picked up one of the cookies and took a bite. ‘Mmm, these are good.’
‘Thank you.’ She beamed at him. ‘I have some more at home, well I did this morning, but Saskia seems to run on sugar and caffeine so I reckon she’ll have eaten them all.’
‘Do you guys live together?’ he asked.
‘We do. We’re complete opposites, so it’s kind of… interesting.’ She laughed. ‘She’s quite chaotic and messy, and I’m neat and organised.’
He laughed. ‘You sound like me and Scott. He’s exactly like your sister, a whirlwind of chaos. I like calm.’
‘Same.’ She nodded. ‘And Saskia doesn’t understand that. I feel like I have to parent her. I remind her about auditions, I make her poached eggs on toast at the weekends. That and pancakes are about the only things I can cook.’
‘You made those delicious cookies,’ he replied, nodding to the tin.
‘No, that’s baking. I can bake, I just can’t cook. Saskia can cook, but she doesn”t always want to. She waitresses in an Italian restaurant and her boss is like our unofficial dad so he sends care packages home for us.’
‘Italians are all about family. It sounds like he looks after you guys,’ he said. ‘I love cooking. I taught myself at university and Scott’s hates cooking, so it always falls to me. Asian food’s my favourite, I make a good pad Thai.’
‘I love pad Thai.’ Her eyes lit up. ‘We used to go to this Thai place all the time with my mum. It’s called Lotus Thai; I don’t know if you’ve been there?’
‘I know it,’ he said, nodding.
He opened his mouth to speak again but was interrupted by a loud announcement. They’d reached Canterbury.
‘I’ll wait until Saskia gets here,’ Chris said to Molly as they reached the station entrance.
‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘I always get nervous as she’s driving my car, and she’s not the best driver.’ She laughed. ‘I should be grateful, right? It’s only that she crashed it into a bollard not long after I got it.’
‘I hear that,’ Chris said. ‘I don’t let Scott drive my car. He’s a liability.’
‘They sound very alike,’ Molly said. ‘Oh, here she is.’ She waved as Saskia ran up to the station, wearing Molly’s spare glasses.
‘Evening, Mole!’ Saskia said, beaming and unashamedly eyeing up Chris.
Molly stifled a giggle. ‘Saskia, this is Chris, we met on the train yesterday. Chris, this is Saskia, my sister.’
Saskia held out her hand. ‘Pleased to meet you. Thank you for looking out for my sister.’
‘I think we’re looking out for each other.’ Chris smiled at Saskia.
‘Good.’ Saskia nodded and her eyes flicked from Chris to Molly. ‘So, we should get going then.’
‘Right.’ Molly smiled at Chris. ‘Maybe see you tomorrow then?’
‘See you,’ Chris replied.