Nila
MY WORLD WENT dark.
The blindfold secured around my head.
Kestrel’s fingers were soft and firm as he tied a knot, careful not to catch my hair. Once fastened, he ran his fingers over my diamond collar. “Relax, little Weaver. It will all be over soon.”
Cut chuckled. “Yes, soon you can go to sleep and pretend none of this happened.”
My ears strained for one other voice. The voice of the man who controlled my heart even if he’d thrown it back in my face. Please, come back, Jethro.
But only silence greeted me.
Daniel snickered, licking my cheek. “Time to pay, Weaver.” A moment later, he undid the gag from between my lips and massaged my cheeks to encourage the numbness to recede.
Cut clapped. “It’s time for the Third Debt. Take her, Kes.”
I prepared to spit and bite, but Kestrel suddenly picked me up, scooping my legs out from beneath me and toppling me into his arms as if I were a bride on her wedding night.
I might not be gagged by material anymore, but my terror kept me muted as Kes carried me a short distance and closed a door behind us. Another few strides and he placed me on my feet.
He didn’t speak and didn’t attempt to remove my blindfold.
The awful anticipation stung my very being. My ears ached for the barest of sounds. My wrists throbbed from the tight sash binding me.
Large hands landed on my shoulders.
I tore away from his touch. “Don’t!”
He sucked in a breath, letting me put distance between us. However, he stalked me, stepping in sync, chasing me through the darkness.
Something pressed against the back of my knees.
A bed.
I whimpered, hanging my head.
Kes came closer, his body heat so much warmer than Jethro’s. “Don’t fight me, Nila. Okay? Let me do this. Then it will be over and life can go on.”
Life can go on?
“For you, perhaps. Don’t you see this is the worst punishment for a woman?
You’re not just taking what you want from my body.
You’re invading my very soul.” Injecting a plea, even though I wanted to spit in his face, I murmured, “Please, Kes. Don’t do this to me.
I know you’re a better man than they are.
Please, prove me right.” A sob strangled my voice. “Please, don’t do this.”
His hands fumbled with the front of my cheesecloth blouse, swiftly undoing the eyelets and tearing the fabric down the front.
“Wait!” I bowed my head, trying to ward him off like a bull with no horns. He kept me trapped by the bed with no vision to run.
“It’s because I’m a better man that I’m doing this.” He dropped before me to yank the coarse wool from around my hips.
I cried out as cool air licked my itchy skin.
I’m naked.
Naked and shaved and bound for the wrong man.
If I didn’t hate Jethro enough, it was ten times worse now.
I sniffed back tears as Kes stood up and wrapped his arms around me. My breasts pressed against his chest.
His naked chest.
Goosebumps broke out all over.
My nipples are against his skin.
I moaned in despair as he cuddled me like any normal lover. “Don’t worry, Nila.”
I gasped, drowning all over again. “Please, Kestrel...please, don’t do this.”
Kes ran his hands through my hair, tugging on the elastic holding my bun in place. His touch was gentle but persistent. He managed to free the rope of hair, and, with tender fingers, fluffed out the thickness so it blanketed my shoulders and back.
I shivered, comforted somehow.
Ever since he’d secured the blindfold around my eyes, I’d been borderline catatonic. Every few seconds my heart threw in an extra beat, turning my internal balance into a gyroscope with no direction. But somehow, not seeing him kept my mind distanced.
I was free to float away—to leave my body and slip into the darkness of anonymity.
“Do everything I say and you’ll get through this.” His lips skated over my jaw. His touch was so different to Jethro’s—dominating and soft—but lacking sparkle, connection...love.
I arched my chin away from his mouth. “You’re asking me to obey you while you rape me?” A morbid laugh escaped.
Kes’s breath whispered over my exposed breasts. “Yes. It’s the only way.”
“Only way for what?”
My heartbeat boomed in my ears as he took my hand, guiding me from the pool of woollen trousers around the edge of the bed.
“Only way to make this work.”
I scowled behind my blindfold. Make what work?
The debts?
His twisted fantasy?
I hated moving around naked. I hated him seeing me.
My skin pinpricked with nervous sweat; I was lightheaded with panic. And that was just with Kestrel. He didn’t scare me nearly as much as Daniel or Cut.
If I couldn’t survive this, how would I survive the other two?
Another moan echoed in my chest. This couldn’t happen. It was the worst nightmare imaginable. Three men. Three rapes.
And Jethro. Where the hell was he? Why wasn’t he here to oversee what his family would do? What would he claim once everything had been taken from me?
My heart?
He lost that the moment he made me consent to this god-awful condemnation.
Kes kissed my cheek, pushing me so I fell onto the bed. The mattress sprung beneath me, cushioned and fresh. I winced as I bounced against my tied wrists.
“I’m going to place you in the centre.” His strong arms caught me, manhandling me until I was where he wanted. His every touch caused my skin to crawl. My stomach rolled as I kept my legs pinned together.
I lay in the middle of the mattress like a corpse riddled with rigor mortis.
Kissing my shoulder, Kes climbed beside me. The heat of his naked thigh brushed mine; something heavy and hard nudged my hip.
Oh, God!
“I’m going to place you on your stomach.” His voice was soothing; his words were definitely not.
I bucked as he tried to flip me over. “No! I can’t—not that!”
He stroked my side, his fingers way too close to my breast. “It’s okay. Don’t worry. Just roll over for me.” He pressed me harder.
“No!”
He wants to steal your anal virginity.
Horror possessed me. I kicked and wriggled. I was no longer an atrophied skeleton but a furious unwilling victim. My hands remained tethered behind my back, but it didn’t stop me from doing my damnedest to hurt him. “Don’t! Don’t touch me!”
“Shush.” He placed a harsh kiss on my shoulder blade. “Obey me. Do what I say, Nila. I’ll make it feel good, I promise.”
“I’ll never obey you. Never!” I fumbled with the sheets, wishing I could see. I wanted to bite him, knee him in the balls.
“Goddammit.” Grabbing my hip, he flipped me over with a burst of power.
I cried out as he jerked the pillow away from my mouth, pressing my cheek against the mattress. My breasts flattened and tears spurted from my eyes. “How can you do this to me?” My mind filled with his kindness teaching me how to tend to Moth. How could he be two totally different people?
“No more questions. Alright?” His voice was short with frustration. “Just—for once—let a man fucking control you.”
That was the last straw.
“What did you just say?” I arched off the bed. “Let a man control me?” Hysteria took hold. “I’ve been controlled all my life by every man I’ve ever met! How dare you say that? How dare you!” I couldn’t stop tears cascading down my face, drenching the bed below.
Kes grunted as I squirmed harder.
I couldn’t move beneath his weight. His heat warmed me like an unwanted sun. I hated him.
Fisting my hair, he pressed my face into the bed.
“Listen to me and pay attention. Behave. Don’t fight me.
Don’t make Cut believe I can’t control you or it’ll encourage him to fucking participate.
Don’t make this worse for yourself.” Letting me breathe, he hissed, “Don’t believe in the evil of everyone you meet.
You'd be surprised just how wrong you’d be. ”
I froze.
Silence reigned while we both breathed hard.
Slowly, his grip on my hair loosened. “Now...will you be more reasonable?”
I laughed coldly, sucking in cotton from the sheets. “Reasonable? You’re asking the trussed-up girl if she’ll be more reasonable? You’re as insane as your damn brother.”
Turned out madness ran in the entire family tree. They all had to die.
“I’ll let that slide.” His fingers dug into my side. “But I need you to listen to me. Okay?”
Every instinct boycotted the idea but what he said before echoed in my ears. Don’t believe in the evil of everyone.
Could the man who taught me to ride still save me? Could I trust him enough to wait and see? Did I have the strength to hope?
Do I have a choice?
Haltingly, I relaxed.
The instant he felt me give in, he let me go. “Good girl.”
I hated that phrase.
All I could do was take whatever he gave and hope I survived.
I have no other option.
This wasn’t a physical debt—although parts of it would hurt and no doubt destroy me for life—it was more mental. The stripping of everything that made me female—of any right over my own body.
Rustling sounded as Kestrel grabbed the bedding and placed it over me. The warm comfort of cotton covered my nakedness.
He’s drawn the covers.
Why?
Kes’s naked body moulded along my side, his hand resting on the swell of my arse. My skin smarted with revolting dislike. “I’ve covered us. No one will see what we do. It will be our little secret.”
I frowned. Secret? Why would it be a secret? He was doing what he’d been told. The bed dipped a bit as he wrapped his arm around my waist, rolling me from my stomach to side.
I flinched as his warmth nestled behind mine in a loving embrace. His hand stayed on my belly. I was achingly aware of how close his fingers were to my pubic bone.
Questions formed: What will you do to me? How long am I yours before you hand me over? But I couldn’t voice them. I couldn’t ask, because I couldn’t stomach the replies.