Chapter 15
Emma
“It’s hot,” I informed Colin two days later. “Let’s take a swim before we barbecue.”
Brock, Nate, Gage, and Seth had snagged a picnic table and one of the permanent barbecue grills near the entrance while Colin and I had found a spot on the sandy beach to spread out a bunch of blankets.
It was summer, and the local beach was pretty crowded. Cherry Cove swelled to capacity during the summer because it was a popular beach town.
I’d spent the last two days showing Colin around Cherry Cove.
We’d strolled the shops in town, had ice cream at the well-known, iconic ice cream shop, and we’d all had dinner together at Gage’s restaurant, The Beachfront Café, last night.
Little by little, I was starting to feel secure and normal again after my experience in Lania.
Colin still slept in my bed every night, but now it was simply because I wanted to be close to him, not because I felt nervous about being alone.
He’d kept his distance after that incredible kiss, making sure he kept busy.
He’d insisted on mowing my lawn and doing some yard work even though I’d protested.
He’d also fixed anything that wasn’t functioning optimally in my cottage, things I just hadn’t gotten around to getting fixed yet.
We both worked in the mornings on our computers, but I had a sneaking suspicion that Colin had no idea what to do when he wasn’t busy with some kind of work.
The man had no idea how to just relax or how to just spend time with friends doing something for fun.
“I don’t swim in public,” he informed me stiffly as he dropped the bags he’d carried down to the beach.
I knew he was still self-conscious about his leg, but he really needed to get over that.
He’d purchased a pair of board shorts at my insistence when we were at the shops in town, grumbling because he said he didn’t need them.
He was wearing them beneath the jeans and T-shirt he was wearing.
I finished spreading the blankets out and put my hands on my hips. I couldn’t really see his eyes beneath the sunglasses he was wearing, but I still glared at him. “Don’t be silly,” I said firmly. “If I can bare my plump body to swim, you can swim with me.”
“Nobody calls me silly,” he reminded me.
“Then stop doing silly things,” I insisted. “Look around you, Colin. Do you see a bunch of perfect bodies? I’m not sure how things are in California, but nobody here cares if your body isn’t perfect. Our summers are short, and all Michiganders want to do is enjoy the summer we have. Let’s swim.”
He was silent for a moment and I held my breath.
“Go swim,” Brock insisted as the guys arrived at our spot. “We’ll give you some time before we start getting things ready to go on the grill.”
I looked at the men gratefully.
All of them were dressed in swim trunks and a T-shirt.
A few female heads had turned admiring glances their way when the four of them had jogged down to the beach.
I was used to that.
The four of them together were a breathtaking sight to some women.
There wasn’t a single one of them that didn’t have a ripped body and handsome faces that drew female eyes wherever they went.
Seth was the only blonde, and he had a few scars that nobody seemed to notice except him.
I suppose they were all stunningly gorgeous, but I’d never seen them as anything other than sometimes annoying but beloved younger brother figures.
I adored every one of them, but they fussed a little too much about my safety sometimes.
I indulged them because I knew they only did it because they considered me a close friend.
Honestly, I was grateful that they’d cared enough to insist that I check in every day from Lania.
If they hadn’t, it may have taken longer for them to realize that I was missing.
I took a deep breath and lifted my sundress over my head.
Honestly, I wasn’t all that brave about revealing my older and plumper body to Colin.
He’d seen me when I was a lot thinner, and at one of the few times in my life when I’d actually looked decent in a bikini.
I was nervous, but I was determined to bring this man out of his shell.
I folded my sundress and dropped it onto the blanket.
There was no way I was stuffing my body into a bikini anymore. The modest one-piece was revealing enough for the forty-five-year-old and heavier me.
It felt weird for me to be self-conscious.
I’d accepted who I was and how I looked a long time ago.
As long as I was healthy, my fuller body had never really bothered me.
I did have PCOS and being at a low weight just wasn’t sustainable for me.
I liked food far too much to starve myself into a thinner body.
I exercised and stayed as fit as I could be. I’d always been content with that.
But that was before I was standing in front of Colin, a man who was used to me having a lighter, more attractive body and a more youthful appearance.
I swallowed hard and consoled myself with the fact that he couldn’t see the faded stretch marks on my belly from carrying our daughter.
I watched, my body tense as he took off his sunglasses and dropped them onto the blanket.
His gaze met mine before he pulled the T-shirt over his head and dropped that too.
My heart skittered as my eyes roamed over his muscular chest and abs.
Seriously, how was it possible that he still looked as fit as he had when he was in the military?
He really hadn’t changed much.
He still wore his hair military short, and he’d shaved the scruff off his face that he’d gotten from our time in Lania.
The man was ridiculously gorgeous.
Ruggedly handsome.
And stupidly hot for a man his age.
Relief flooded through my body when he shucked his jeans with no fanfare and dropped them beside his T-shirt.
He lifted a brow as he said, “Let’s swim.”
He took my hand and tugged me toward the water.
Honestly, you couldn’t see much of his leg because the board shorts were long, but it wouldn’t have mattered if it was completely revealed.
Colin was such an imposing male figure that those scars were hardly even noticeable.
He released my hand as we waded into the water, and I watched in awe as he dove into the depths of Lake Michigan.
Colin had been a SEAL, and he swam like a fish.
He was more comfortable in the water than any other person I’d ever known.
I dove after him.
I’d grown up here in Cherry Cove, and I didn’t remember a time when I hadn’t been able to swim.
We swam silently for a while, both of us getting our exercise and wearing ourselves out.
When I was totally exhausted, I finally put my feet down in one of the shallow areas that existed from the shifting sands in the protected cove.
The water was nearly up to my chest, but I was able to rest.
I simply watched Colin continue to swim like he was capable of keeping up his rapid pace forever.
I knew he had an eye out for other swimmers in his path, but most of the recreational swimmers were closer to shore.
I was leisurely floating on my back when he finally joined me.
“You’re going to get sunburned,” he warned as he stood on the sand beside me.
I smiled at him as I put my feet back on the ground. “Not happening. I slathered myself with sunscreen before I left the house.”
My skin was fair, and I knew better than to go without sunscreen on a day like this.
Michigan winters were long and brutal, and I didn’t get outdoors much when the weather was frigid and the snow was flying.
On the other hand, Colin tanned easily, and he was probably always tanned like he was now from living in California.
He’d mentioned that he swam in his outdoor pool year-round in San Diego.
“I guess we should get back to shore and help with the barbecue,” I told him, feeling a little awkward for the first time in Colin’s presence.
Maybe I still wasn’t quite used to Colin’s standoffishness with me.
When we’d been in the water in Virginia Beach, we’d touched each other constantly when we were swimming and we’d played like we were teenagers who were crazy about each other.
“Wait,” he demanded as he wrapped an arm around my waist before I could swim away. “You were nervous on the beach. Explain that to me.”
Ugh! He’d noticed. Maybe I should have expected that. Colin was the kind of guy who picked up on every nuance of human behavior.
By the time we’d left Virginia Beach, he’d been able to pick up on every one of my emotions.
That had been a little unnerving at first, but I’d gotten used to it.
He might be a man of few words himself, but he was incredibly observant when it came to other people’s behavior.
I put my hand on his shoulder to keep my balance as I answered, “Do you really think it was easy for me to bare my body in front of a man who hasn’t seen me since I was younger and thinner?”
He tipped my chin up a little so our eyes met. “Yet you had no problem challenging me,” he observed.
It had been a challenge, and I’d been banking on the fact that Colin never backed down from a challenge.
I shrugged. “Someone needs to do it. I don’t think it happens very often. You love to swim. I needed to get you into the water somehow. I wanted to prove to you that nobody cares about your leg. The rest of you is so stupidly perfect that it just doesn’t matter.”
Then…it suddenly happened, that something that I’d been hoping for since the moment we’d seen each other again.
Colin moved a strand of wet hair from my face and shot me a small grin.
My heart turned over and completely melted.
The man was devastatingly handsome when he was serious and stoic.
When he smiled, he was utterly and deliciously irresistible.
“You always were a bold woman,” he told me teasingly. “Nobody challenges me, Emma. Not for a very long time. I think the last time it happened was fourteen years ago when we were in Virginia Beach. You knew damn well that you were going to get me into the water with that challenge.”
“It wasn’t easy for me,” I confessed as I fell into his mesmerizing eyes. “I look a lot different than I did fourteen years ago.”
His expression sobered. “Yeah,” he conceded.
“You look even better than you did back then. Christ, Emma! Do you honestly believe that you’re any less attractive than you were when we first met?
You’re curvier, but those curves look good on you.
You were a little too thin when we met. You look healthy and sexier than ever.
I had to get into the water. My dick was so hard that I needed to dive into some cold water before anyone noticed. ”
My heart squeezed hard inside my chest.
Was he just saying that to make me feel better, or did he really believe that?
I asked him that question directly because I wanted to know.
“Have I ever told you anything that wasn’t true?” he questioned as he wrapped both of his arms around my waist. “You know I’m not the kind of man who says something just to charm a female.”
That was definitely true.
Colin wasn’t a natural charmer, but I’d always adored that about him.
What he said was always blunt and honest.
I’d never needed to try to figure out exactly what he meant beneath a bunch of charming words that meant nothing.
I put my arms around his neck to keep my balance as he pulled me closer to him. “I’m really not the kind of woman who inspires lust in any guy. Not at my age with this body,” I said honestly.
“You do more than inspire it in this guy,” he said huskily.
“I’m not going to bullshit you Emma because I never have.
You’re the first woman who has gotten my cock hard since those days we spent together at Virginia Beach.
That hasn’t changed for me. I hate it, but it’s the truth.
You’re a beautiful woman. But I know I’m going to have to learn to live with that reaction every time I see you. ”
I rested my head on his shoulder with a long sigh.
He was completely serious, and I knew he was being truthful.
“I feel the same way. I think I’m always going to be attracted to you, Colin, and I haven’t felt this kind of chemistry with a man since we met, either.
I know there’s nothing I can do about it.
I’d like to think it will go away, but I’d be lying to myself.
It’s not like we can have another fling.
We live different lives in different states.
We’re different people than we were years ago.
But it totally sucks that I want to touch you every time I see you. ”
“How in the hell is that even possible, Emma?” he asked hoarsely. “I’m fifty-three years old and I have a bum leg now. I’m sure you’ve met men who are whole and attractive.”
“You’re still whole,” I protested as I pulled back to look at his face, completely annoyed with Colin because he didn’t know just how attractive he was.
“And irritatingly gorgeous. Do you really think I want to be attracted to you? I can’t help it.
It is what it is. If I could control it, I would.
We have a daughter. I’d like the two of us to be friends.
I think we can, but I’m always going to want to get you naked.
That’s really not comfortable for me, either. ”
That stunning grin formed on his face again, and it made my heart soar all over again.
“Have I ever told you that you’re adorable when you’re angry?” he asked jokingly.
“This isn’t amusing for me,” I scolded him. “I’m a forty-five-year-old mom to a teenage daughter and I’m still lusting after her father that I haven’t seen in fourteen years.”
“Hate me for it if you want,” he said drily. “But it feels kind of good that you’re still attracted to me. When you asked me to kiss you, I thought that you were confused. I’m still just a man, Emma, and I like the fact that you still look at me like you can’t wait to get me naked.”
I dropped my head to his shoulder again in defeat. “Dammit!” I cursed. “I’m a woman and I like the fact that you still find me attractive, too. I think we’re both screwed.”
Colin actually let out a small chuckle as his arms tightened around me reflexively.
He’d almost laughed, which made him even more attractive.
God, if this man got any more appealing, I had no idea what I was going to do.