Chapter 14
Marshall
“You don’t have to tell me that Wren is your kid,” Brock stated as I opened the door the next morning.
Emma had run to the store because she’d emptied everything perishable out of her refrigerator before she’d left for Lania.
I’d been working in the living room until the knock on the door of the cottage.
I watched as Brock, Nate, Gage, and Seth strode into Emma’s place like they knew it well, which they probably did.
There was an enormous painting that I knew Nate had done for Emma in her living room, and pictures of the men everywhere.
I wasn’t sure why it irritated me just a little that these men had been part of Emma and Wren’s life before I’d ever known that Wren existed.
“Make yourself comfortable,” I said drily as the men did exactly that.
Nate, Gage, and Seth flopped onto the large sofa while Brock took the recliner next to the one I’d been occupying.
The cottage was small, and the door basically led directly into the living room.
There was a small dining table in the space between the kitchen and the living room.
The hallway led to the bedrooms and a full bathroom.
Emma had laughingly told me yesterday that she was glad she had her own bathroom attached to her bedroom so she didn’t have to share a bathroom with a teenager.
Emma’s house and my place in San Diego couldn’t be more different.
Although the cottage was clean, it was cluttered with pictures of everyone she knew and loved.
It also held a lot of mementos of Wren’s childhood and things Emma and Wren had done together.
She had all of her history in this cottage, and Emma had never been a woman where everything had a specific place.
I was a minimalist who had almost nothing personal in my home.
I was also anal about everything having a specific place. My neatness was probably a remnant of my military career.
I hated clutter.
Emma, however, seemed to wallow in it.
Strangely, it was an endearing habit of hers that had never really bothered me.
When we’d been at the beach house years ago, I’d happily just picked up the things she’d dropped to put away later.
I closed the door and seated myself back in my recliner.
“How did you know that Wren was my child?” I asked Brock.
“I knew it the minute you said that you and Emma had met fourteen years ago. We’ve all known that Emma had no way to contact Wren’s father because it was a Virginia Beach fling.
Wren looks just like you. She’s also always reminded me of someone, but I couldn’t put a finger on who it was until that moment.
She has your genius IQ and she’s serious for a kid her age. ”
I looked at the four men, and their expressions were all somber.
I’d been working with them closely for years, but I knew very little about their personal lives.
It wasn’t completely comfortable for me to be talking to them about personal subjects even though I’d known them for a long time.
“No offense intended,” Seth said grimly. “But Emma and Wren are important in our lives. I guess we’d kind of like to know your intentions now that you do know about Wren.”
I grimaced. It was really none of their damn business what my intentions were. I answered to no one.
However, I stifled the instinct to tell them any of those thoughts.
Brock, Nate, Gage, and Seth had been there for Emma and Wren.
They’d looked out for their best interests when I couldn’t.
I could hardly fault them for watching out for Emma and my daughter.
Hell, I appreciated it even though it irked me that I hadn’t been part of Emma and my daughter’s lives until now.
“I didn’t know about Wren until yesterday,” I said stiffly.
“I intend to get to know her as soon as possible. I’m going to be part of her life in every way possible now that I do know.
Hopefully with emotional support as well as financial.
As you probably already know, I’m not sure exactly how to emotionally support my daughter, but I’ll figure it out. ”
“She’s a hard kid not to like,” Gage mused.
“She’s a normal girl in some ways, and like a small adult in others.
She’s way too smart for her age, and really good with computers just like you.
I think she’s always wanted to fit in with girls her age, but she’s always felt a little different because of her intelligence level. ”
I could actually relate to that. I never quite fit in with kids my age when I was younger, either.
Hell, I wasn’t exactly social with most people now.
“I get that,” I admitted. “I felt the same way when I was younger.”
“For what it’s worth,” Nate added. “I think you’ll understand each other in ways others can’t. You’ll connect with her, Marshall. Just don’t hurt her and we won’t have to hurt you. I don’t think any of us would like that since we respect you.”
Okay, I did admire the way these men had looked after Emma and Wren, but enough was enough.
I glared at them. “Do you really think I’d hurt my own daughter?”
“I’m not sure we know you well enough personally to judge,” Gage said earnestly. “You’ve always been all business all the time. That won’t work with a girl like Wren.”
Gage was right. That was exactly who I was, and I knew that wasn’t going to fly with a thirteen-year-old girl.
Christ! Just the thought of figuring out how to have an emotional connection with anyone was daunting, much less trying to figure out how to be a parent to a daughter.
“I have no fucking idea how to be a father,” I admitted before I could stop myself. “I never planned on having a child. But I’m not walking away from my daughter now that I know that she exists.”
Nate grinned. “We thought we were tough guys, too, until we met Wren. None of us had much interaction with kids, either. She’ll get to you. All you have to do is let her in and care about her.”
I didn’t let anyone in, and I liked it that way. That was the problem.
“All of you know that’s just not my personality,” I grumbled.
“I think that’s bullshit,” Brock answered.
“You care about people, Marshall. You wouldn’t be doing what you do with Last Hope if you didn’t.
We know what you did for Wyatt when Shelby’s life was in danger.
We also know you didn’t have to give yourself up for Emma and put your own ass on the line.
I very much doubt you’d ever hurt anyone intentionally.
But you’re going to have to drop some of your defenses to get to know Wren.
She’s a kid. She’s not going to understand that you care if you never show it. ”
“I’ll figure it out,” I answered in a voice that would let them know that I was about done talking about this subject.
They all nodded.
“I think you will figure it out,” Gage said. “You’re staying for a while?”
“I am,” I replied brusquely.
“How long?” Seth questioned.
“As long as it takes to get to know my daughter when she gets back from San Diego. I talked to Wyatt this morning. Until further notice, he and the rest of my partners there will be handling Last Hope operations.” I glanced at Brock.
“If you suspected that Wren was my daughter, why didn’t you mention her before I left for Lania? ”
He shrugged. “It wasn’t my place to make that call or to tell you about my suspicions. That was a decision that Emma needed to make. She’s her mom.”
I found it interesting that Wyatt had said the same when I’d talked to him this morning. He’d suspected the same thing but hadn’t wanted to make any assumptions or step on Emma’s toes.
Hell, even Wyatt had met my daughter several times in the past.
“What about Emma?” Nate asked cautiously.
I lifted a brow. “What about her?”
“We think she still has feelings for you,” Seth clarified.
“We’ve always thought so. Through the years, she’s clutched that pendant you gave her like it’s her lifeline, and she’s never shown any real interest in another guy.
She’s never admitted it, but I think it broke her heart when you left her without saying goodbye. ”
Okay, so these men obviously knew a lot about my short history with Emma.
That didn’t surprise me since Emma was my total opposite. She probably talked about things with the people she cared about.
She was open, genuine, and honest with people.
I…wasn’t.
“It was fourteen years ago,” I said gruffly.
Yeah, there had been that idiotic kiss the night before, but I was convinced that Emma had just needed some kind of comfort from me. She’d been one day out from her trauma of the kidnapping.
That kiss had been familiar to her.
For me, it had been too damn familiar.
It didn’t seem like it was even possible that I probably wanted her more today than I had fourteen years ago.
But…I did.
And I hated myself for not having enough control to back off Emma when she was vulnerable.
I’d made myself her damn advisor. I was supposed to be looking out for her best interests right now.
Kissing her had been a selfish, dick move on my part.
I should have had the self-discipline to do what was best for her.
“Does that really matter?” Nate asked. “Feelings are feelings. You must still care about her, Marshall. You risked your life for hers by surrendering yourself to find her.”
“I’m not the same man that I was fourteen years ago,” I said harshly. “Do you really think she’d want the man I am today? I’m older and my leg is a mess. You all put yourselves on the line regularly for Last Hope. It shouldn’t be surprising that I was willing to do the same thing.”
“It’s what we’ve always done,” Brock said nonchalantly.
“No offense, but you were an officer in command of your missions. It’s been a long time since you were actually an operative.
I know you were a commander that always insisted on being with your men, but you were in charge of operations.
It was our job to carry out those missions.
” He hesitated for a moment before he added, “I don’t think Emma gives a damn about your leg.
You’re still the same guy she cared about years ago, and none of us wants to see her get her heart broken again.
Emma’s been like an older sister to all of us for years. We care about her, Marshall.”
“I care about her, too, dammit!” I rasped before I could think about my words.
“And I’m not capable of breaking her heart.
I’m a fifty-three-year-old man who couldn’t run if my life depended on it.
Emma is young and still just as beautiful as she was fourteen years ago.
It’s ridiculous to think she’d want a guy like me. ”
I looked around the living room to see a satisfied look on every one of the men’s faces.
Fuck! What in the hell was wrong with these guys?
My thoughts were interrupted as Emma opened the front door and swept into the living room carrying a large grocery bag.
I felt like I took a gigantic gut punch as her face lit up in a smile as she looked at Brock, Nate, Gage, and Seth.
“You’re here!” she said excitedly as she dropped the bag. “I saw your cars out front.”
The men all stood as Emma entered the room.
Something gnawed at my gut as she threw herself into Brock’s arms and then hugged every other man in the room…except me.
Hell, I should be glad she was having an emotional reunion with the men who had watched out for her for years.
However, what was eating at my gut at the moment definitely wasn’t gratitude.
In fact, it felt suspiciously like an emotion I almost never experienced.
Was it possible that I was actually feeling some kind of…jealousy?
Nah. Not possible.
But as she finished hugging her friends and tossed herself into my arms in an affectionate greeting, I held her tightly, finally admitting to myself that I just might have a few possessive emotions toward Emma after all.
It didn’t make sense, and I was a man who believed that everything should be rational.
I closed my eyes and held Emma intimately against me for far longer than I should have.
This woman was starting to make me feel irrational, and I wasn’t sure I liked feeling those emotions…at all.