Chapter 21
Emma
Icould tell that Colin was fighting with himself.
That was the last thing I wanted.
I was a mature adult, and I knew exactly what I wanted.
Maybe he was afraid to make promises that he couldn’t keep in the future, so I wanted to reassure him that I wasn’t asking him for anything he didn’t want to give.
“I just want to be with you, Colin,” I assured him. “I’m not asking for a future.”
There was never going to be another man for me.
Colin had always been the man for me, and I was tired of making excuses for not reaching out and taking what I wanted. Even if it was only for a little while.
He opened his eyes and skewered me with the intensity in his stormy gaze.
“What if I want there to be a future for us?” he asked in a rough tone.
He’d phrased it as a question, so I was assuming that he wasn’t quite sure what he wanted, but that it could be a future together.
My heart skipped a beat, but I didn’t flinch as I stared right back at him.
God, I wanted that.
I wanted a future with Colin so much that my heart ached with that longing.
“If this is going to happen, don’t ask me to just walk away,” he said hoarsely. “I don’t think I’m capable of doing that again, Em.”
The vulnerability in his voice made my heart squeeze so tightly it was painful.
Colin was a man who never let anyone see his vulnerabilities, but I knew they existed.
Most people probably thought he was an impenetrable, emotionless fortress that could never be breached.
I knew that wasn’t true.
His emotions ran deep. He was just better at hiding them than everyone else.
I stroked the back of his neck. “I’ll never ask you to do that,” I reassured him.
I’d never wanted him to do that the first time, but I’d been too damn afraid of breaking the agreement we’d made to ask for something more.
Some weird twist of fate had thrown the two of us together again, and I wasn’t about to toss this opportunity aside.
I didn’t know what our future looked like, but I knew that I’d missed Colin so much that I ached for him.
I needed to be as close to him as I could possibly get.
Yes, that need was sexual, but it was also highly emotional for me now.
“Good,” he said in a husky, relieved tone. “Because I’m about to explore the sexy, curvy body you complain about all the time.”
Heat pooled between my thighs and I let out a needy sigh as he stroked a hand down my body until he got to the hem of the nightgown that was tangled around my thighs.
Colin shifted so he could pull the nightgown up to my waist and over my head.
I sat up, trying not to think about how much my body had changed over the years.
I shivered as his fingers skimmed over my bare skin.
I was self-conscious about my curvy body and the faded stretch marks on my belly, but it had been so long since Colin had touched me like this that part of me really didn’t care.
“Could you turn the light off?” I asked hesitantly.
“No,” he said flatly. “You’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I want to be able to see you.”
I laid my head back on the pillow with a snort as his hands started to explore my body. “Which part do you find attractive?” I asked jokingly. “My plumpness or the stretch marks on my belly?”
He traced a finger over the faded marks on my abdomen. “You carried my child, Emma,” he said huskily like that fact was a miracle to him. “If you think that’s not sexy, you’re wrong. And I happen to like your curvy body.”
“You’re insane,” I accused. “Nobody thinks that stretch marks are hot.”
“I do,” he said earnestly as his body covered mine. “There’s not a damn thing about you that isn’t sexy.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck as my body relaxed and melted against his harder form.
He wasn’t lying.
I could feel his hard cock pressing against me, and every negative thought I’d had about my changed body slipped out of my brain.
I suddenly realized that my insecurities about my body were old baggage. My ex had hated it when I was curvier, and he’d always told me that it was a complete turnoff.
Somehow, that trash had burrowed its way into my brain so deeply that it was in my subconscious, and it was time for that to go.
I thought I’d expelled every negative thought from my head regarding my ex a long time ago, but there was obviously one more that needed to get tossed out of my psyche.
Colin wasn’t my ex, and he obviously did like my curvy body, stretch marks included.
“Colin,” I said in a needy whisper as I closed my eyes. “I need…”
My desire for this man was endless and my entire body was aching with the desperation to feel him inside of me.
“I’ll take care of all of your needs,” he told me as his mouth skimmed my jawline. “But I’m not rushing this, Emma.”
I moaned against his lips as his mouth came down hard to claim mine.
Desire consumed me as Colin devoured my mouth like a man who had been deprived of sustenance for eons.
I kissed him back with the same desperation, relishing the hunger in his embrace.
It had been so long since I’d felt this kind of raw emotion, and I reveled in it because I knew it was only possible with this man.
I ran my hands over his back as he released my mouth, needing to feel every inch of his powerful body.
“Touch me, Em,” he encouraged as he explored the sensitive skin of my neck with his lips.
“I love your body,” I said as I touched every inch of bare skin I could find with my fingertips.
“Not nearly as much as I love yours,” he said in a deep baritone as he worked his way down my body to my breasts.
My back arched up as he covered one of my nipples with his hot mouth and tormented it with his tongue and teeth.
My core clenched so hard from the erotic sensation that a whimper escaped my lips.
“Colin,” I murmured as I threaded my fingers into his short hair.
“You make me fucking crazy, Emma,” he growled as he moved to torture my other breast. “I’m not sure I like feeling this way at my age.”
“I like it,” I said as I panted from the ecstasy that was consuming my body.
I loved the fact that I could make Colin as crazy as he made me feel.
“You’re so damn beautiful, Em,” he grunted as his lips touched the marks on my belly in a worshipful way that brought tears to my eyes.
I felt beautiful for the first time in fourteen years.
I felt desirable.
I felt wanted.
No other man had ever made me feel this way, and I’d thought I’d never feel that way again.
My emotions were all over the place as Colin skimmed my panties down my legs and tossed them on the floor.
But the moment he parted my thighs and his fingers stroked over my wet pussy, all I could do was feel what he was doing to my body.
I lifted my hips with a moan, trying to get exactly what my body needed.
I craved Colin’s touch, and I needed…more.
“Oh, God,” I said in a mesmerized voice that I hardly recognized as my own.
I knew Colin intimately, and I knew what was coming.
He was a guy who had absolutely no issues with giving a woman oral sex as long and as often as possible.
In fact, it was something he seemed to enjoy, which just made it even hotter.
I felt like a huge bolt of electricity shot down my spine when his mouth came down on me and his tongue stroked over my clit.
A helpless moan escaped from my lips as Colin gripped my ass and devoured me in a carnal way that made me completely insane.
He knew exactly how to pleasure my body, and the intimacy of the way that he did it was sublime.
“Colin!” I whimpered, gripping his short locks until it was probably painful for him.
He didn’t complain.
He groaned against my pussy, and I felt those vibrations so acutely that the knot in my belly started to slowly unfurl.
Colin expertly increased the pressure on my clit, and explored my wet channel with one finger, and then two.
He fucked me with those fingers, and I knew that I was going to climax.
My body couldn’t take this kind of intense pleasure without imploding.
It had been so long for me, and the sensations were overwhelming.
“Please,” I begged. “Make me come.”
I wasn’t sure I could take much more without completely losing my mind.
When those wicked fingers inside me curled and found my G-spot, it was over for me.
I screamed Colin’s name over and over again as my core clenched tightly around his fingers.
My body shook with the force of my climax, and I was gasping for breath by the time it finally ended.
Dear God! I hadn’t realized I was still capable of having an orgasm like this one.
It was so sharp and so forceful that it was almost frightening.
I trembled in the aftermath, and Colin slid up my body and wrapped his arms around me tightly.
“Christ, Em!” he said hoarsely before he kissed me and then buried his face in my hair. “You’re the most responsive woman I’ve ever known.”
“Only because you’re the hottest guy on the planet,” I panted, my body still trying to recover. “Fuck me, Colin. I need you.”
My body was somewhat satiated, but that didn’t calm the aching need to have him inside me.
I’d craved that feeling, and that hadn’t gone away.
He knew I was on birth control for my PCOS, and that a pregnancy with my condition was highly improbable anyway, so we didn’t need to have that discussion.
Neither one of us had been with anyone else, so we didn’t need to have the condom discussion, either.
“No fucking this time,” he growled as he took off his boxer briefs. “I’m going to make love to you. And it’s going to mean something to me. You’ll be mine after this, Em. I hope you’re ready for that.”
I shivered in anticipation at the possessiveness in his voice.
This big, burly, beautiful man wanted to claim my body.
There was nothing hotter than that because I desperately wanted to be claimed.
I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I’m beyond ready. It’s been a long time for us.”
“Too damn long,” he rasped as his body covered mine.
One powerful thrust and he was exactly where I needed him.
I gasped out loud as time stopped for me while I savored the raw intimacy of having him buried deep inside me.
“You feel so good,” I moaned.
“I’ve wanted this from the moment I saw you again, Emma,” he said hoarsely, his warm breath wafting across my ear.
My heart swelled inside my chest until it felt like it was going to explode.
I’d wanted him, too.
So badly that it hurt.
I wrapped my legs around his waist and met every thrust of his cock.
We got completely lost in each other’s bodies.
Every touch.
Every surge of his cock thrusting inside me.
Every feel of his lips on my skin.
The sexuality and carnality were still there, but there was so much…more.
I felt like Colin was claiming me with every action, and I loved feeling like I was actually his.
It was hot.
It was so intimate that tears filled my eyes.
He started slow, but things got out of control quickly.
“Colin,” I moaned as he pummeled in and out of my body.
I suddenly realized that I loved this man so fiercely that it took my breath away.
I love him.
I probably always had and always would.
Maybe I’d been an idiot not to realize it before because it felt like those emotions had always been there.
I’d just never wanted to admit that I loved a man who was supposed to be a fling.
“Emma,” he groaned before his lips came down on mine.
I felt taken.
I felt consumed by this man.
That probably should have scared the hell out of me, but it didn’t.
I was too lost in the sensations of being this intimately connected to Colin.
My head thrashed on the pillow when he released my mouth.
“I want…” I said tremulously. “I need…”
“I know, sweetheart,” he said roughly as his hand slipped between our bodies and stroked my clit. “Come for me. I want to watch you get off.”
And my body imploded.
I went up in flames as Colin pounded into me like a madman.
I screamed his name as my core clenched tightly around his cock.
“So damn beautiful,” he groaned as I climaxed and milked him to his own release.
My entire body was shaking as he rolled and pulled me on top of his massive body.
Neither one of us spoke as we recovered our breath and our heartbeats started to slow to a normal rhythm again.
I had a moment of vulnerability because I’d finally admitted to myself that I loved Colin.
Maybe he sensed that vulnerability because his arms tightened around me until I felt protected.
I’d just have to hope he’d protect my heart in the future, too.