Chapter 22
Twenty-Two
I slid into the booth at Michelle’s Diner in Paterson. Before my ass met the padded seat, I noticed Mehki was sliding in on the same side, right behind me. He kept his attention straight ahead, telling of his pre-occupation. Was he nervous or just trying to get into the right headspace?
“You good, man?” I asked, placing my phones on the table.
He paid me a cursory glance, murmuring, “Yeah. Yeah. I’m good.”
The waitress was heading our way in no time. That prompted me to ask, “You wanna order something to eat?”
We worked out at seven this morning. A trip to the barbershop for his cut followed. After that, we stopped by my haberdasher’s shop so I could get a few measurements taken. And now, we’re here at one of the best diners in the state—a spot he loved. But Ki didn’t seem to want anything to eat.
“Hey, fellas,” the waitress greeted with her pencil and pad ready. “What can I get you?”
“We’re still waiting on our party, but I’ll have your unsweetened tea with ice.” I glanced over to my son whose eyes were wide and alert. “In fact, we’ll take two.”
“Okay! Two unsweetened tea on the rocks,” she repeated back to me. “You got it!” Then she left us alone.
I leaned into Ki. “You nervous?”
He shook his head. “Just hate it gotta take all of this for him to handle his business,” he murmured, spirit tampered with. “Yo, Poppy…” He scrubbed his face with his palms. “I’m not doing this shit once I turn eighteen.” He glared my way. “And you gotta tell Nanu, too. I’m not doing this no more.”
I nodded, observing the pain in his eyes. Once again, I could see the baby I once knew in them. No matter how old Mehki got, he’d always be my smiley, happy, baby boy.
A sharp cough had my attention snap ahead. Troy had just stepped inside. With a low chin, he peered around the restaurant. Immediately, I noticed the vast change in his appearance. I glanced over to Ki to find he’d already located his biological father. Mehki whipped his neck to snap it, something I knew him to do at the three-point line before he’d shoot.
Troy located us, and on his approach, I stared at my son. He knew the drill, so I sat and waited. It wasn’t until Troy was at the booth that Mehki stood with a proffered hand.
Emotionless, he mumbled, “Good to see you, sir.” Ki’s eyes were briefly on Troy before retreating.
Troy mumbled something in return I couldn’t pick up as I scooted off the bench to shake his hand myself. Mehki and I moved like gentlemen, even amongst dishonorable clowns.
“Glad you were able to make it.”
“No doubt.”
I pointed to the bench across from us. “Have a seat.” Then I slid inside the booth with Mehki following.
The waitress returned with our drinks. We declined to order anything more for now. I knew we wouldn’t at all. Troy’s punk ass had never been comfortable enough to eat in front of me, and Mehki was too nervous. I’d been saving my appetite for lunch with Hayden in a few hours. I was taking her to power couple, Ashton Spencer and Tori McNabb’s , latest popup restaurant in Hoboken. They’d been doing it for a few years now and had been inviting me. My expectant ass hadn’t been turning down food experiences lately, and I knew Hayden would enjoy it, too.
“What it do, Mehki?” Troy kicked it off, smirking in a friendly manner.
“Nothing much.” Ki opened the straw by tapping it on the table. “School, balling, and trying to stay sucker-free. You know? How ‘bout you?”
Troy scoffed, glancing out of the window. He wiped his mouth with his fingers. “Shit. Just life. Ain’t no shit I’m trippin’ off. Ya dig? I’m just out here tryna survive.” He sat up in his seat. “It’s all a Black man can do. Ya dig? But listen to this—my shit can wait—I heard about the tournament. Sorry to hear y’all ain’t take home the W.” He paused, not giving Ki too much eye contact.
“Look, man, I’mma just keep it one thou’ with you. This shit between us is fucked up. It’s been fucked up because when you was born, me and ya mom was so young. I was a wild boy, chasing these streets, ya heard? I ain’t know shit else. Caught a few charges, did a little time here and there. Then I let some shit between ya mom and me jade my perspective on fatherhood and what it mean.
“I felt ya mom tried replacing me as ya pops. Then when she died— god rest her soul —I just ain’t feel connected. Still running these streets. I saw you was turning out to be a smart kid. A good kid. My dumb ass felt I couldn’t relate. Felt like you ain’t need shit from me. You the kid from “ Silver Spoons ” and shit.” Troy scoffed, “I know that shit was way before your time, but that’s all I got on that. That shit was trash. It was childish on my part as a man…as a father. But…hey…”
“You didn’t do that with your other kids. I see them posting you—at least Alicia,” Ki argued.
“Shit. I’m so back on child support for her,” Troy scoffed. “I couldn’t even get my license last year when I finally tried. I’ve been tryna get my shit together, and every time I do, some crazy shit pop up, kickin’ me in the ass, bro.” He sniffled then swiped his nose while looking out the window. It was the exact shit I’d been teaching Mehki not to do. Eye contact was mandatory when speaking to people. “Anyway. We off that. I know you here with ya poppy to discuss what’s been going on with me not showing the fuck up. Real men don’t make excuses. Ya heard? But I’mma keep it a bean. My body’s been fuckin’ up on me. I been down real bad.”
“What do you mean?” Ki asked.
Troy leaned over to retrieve something from his back pocket. “I know ya peoples here ain’t gone believe me, so I brought my paperwork and shit. The niggas told me I got diabetes. Said I had it for a while. But you know Black men don’t fuck with the doctors and shit. I know you can see a nigga done dropped like thirty pounds and my complexion changed. Blood pressure been high as fuck, and I had blood in my urine. Now, they’re talking about dialysis and shit.” He flashed his fingers wide. “A nigga been down real bad. Ya heard? But…”
The table grew silent. I wouldn’t carry the conversation. If I tried, Mehki wouldn’t have room to grow in expression himself. Also, Troy would’ve gotten intimidated and clammed up on Mehki. So, I waited.
At some point, Ki turned to me, brows in a straight line and jaw collapsed. He sputtered, “ Thu —that’s it?” His palms were splayed as he continued looking between Troy across the table and me next to him. “Like…” He shrieked, “You couldn’t look out for me when I was a kid because you were a wild bull. You can’t look out for me now that I’m damn near grown because you’re sick?” He peered my way once again. “Poppy, am I hearing this shit right now?”
“Ki,” I warned, more so because I didn’t want my son worked up.
Like his father, he was temperamental.
“Nah, man.” Mehki shook his head. “I don’t mean no disrespect, Trouble T. I don’t mean none at all. But respectfully, we can end this shit right here. I won’t ask you for shit. Won’t come around. I’ll talk to my Nanu and tell her we’re done. You don’t have to worry about me ever again. Damn , man . You’ve always liked to throw in my face how I was good in life and didn’t need anything, so you wasn’t trippin’. Now, I see I need to thank God I’ve had a father all these years because, even without him in the picture, you wouldn’t have nothing for me. Nothing good anyway. So, yeah.”
Ki looked me dead in the eyes with aggressive energy. “No more. We good from here. “It’s like the therapist said. ‘Letting go can be the start of peace,’ my G.” Then he left the booth.
Struck with emotions from Mehki’s palpable pain, I sat for a minute to collect myself. Rubbing my lips together, I dazed blindly out of the window.
Shit .
When I was ready to go, I slid out of the booth. Staring at Troy’s pitiful looking ass, I decided to leave shit where it was.
But he scoffed, “You got the kid in therapy?”
“Nah. You and Mandy’s wild ass do. I’m just the one who pays for it. Pays for everything. I’m just the na?ve, corny nigga from Waldwick, who, even seventeen years later, is still in the middle of you and Mandy’s fuckups.”
I pulled out my wallet to pay for the drinks. I was going to leave the conversation there, but nah. Fuck that . “Now, I don’t know where this shit is going to fall with Ki. But I’mma tell you this: him unfettering you from your role as a father who simply gives a damn doesn’t mean your family isn’t his family. That boy needs to be connected to his biological roots. So, at the very least, you can try to get his cousins, siblings, grandmother, aunts, and uncles to remember him and reach out. That’s the least your bum ass can do.”
I left Troy there and found the waitress who served us, tipping her favorably.
Ernest James . I mentally read the name tag on the open door.
His swollen, pink fist knocked on the frame of the office door. Sitting behind a desk, the Black man with slicked black, thinning, wavy hair peered up from his computer screen. He removed his glasses. I could tell the moment recognition kicked in for him. His eyes widened with fearful shock, his jaw fell, and he shot to his feet.
“Paul!”
“Hi there, Ernest!”
Ernest left his desk, bustling toward the door of his office with an open palm. Paul met him just inside.
“Good to see you, buddy!” Paul greeted. “How’s everything?”
“Great!” Ernest emphasized, pulling at the hem of his suit jacket. “Just swell, Paul!” His eyes brushed curiously against me. “I wasn’t expecting you today. Did it slip my mind?” Ernest asked, still shaking his regional manager’s hand.
“Well, no, although I do plan to have Maggie out there generate a new client acquisition and retention report while I’m here. I have a meeting out in Dover in an hour I need to get to.”
Visibly confused, Ernest, chirped, “Well, alright…” Then he glanced my way again.
“Oh!” Paul pretended to not understand the obvious. White corporate men could be so damn predictable. He glanced my way when explaining, “I’m here to do a quick introduction. You remember the big KAHRI casino account we won a few years back? The new, big resort down in Atlantic City?”
Ernest’s eyes blossomed wildly again. “Oh! The one Jim took lead on? Where the big fights happen?” He made a fist and pretended to throw a real punch.
Paul found that corny shit funny, or maybe he didn’t. Here he was, setting Ernest up.
“Yup.” Paul slapped his shoulder. “That would be the one. I’m going to get the getting now.” He started toward the door. “I’ll stop by Maggie’s office to get that report, bud.” He was off, closing the door behind him.
Ernest was a tall man, over six feet. His skin was quite fair. That, along with the soft texture of his wavy hair, made me wonder if he was of mixed race. I watched him quickly observe my suit, shoes, neck tattoo, and braids. “I’m sorry. Paul never said the purpose of this meeting. Is KAHRI looking to increase its line of credit?” His eyes narrowed.
I wasn’t given the same friendly energy and banter Paul had received. No, I wasn’t the man’s manager, but for all Ernest knew, I could have been a potential client. Shit . I was a client.
I scratched my nose then strolled over to an empty chair facing his desk. The office was large and…dry. The décor was outdated, but the space was personalized. I saw pictures of brown faces, possibly Ernest’s family.
“Nah. I’m actually here on a personal matter.” I could tell he was registering my audacity as he made it back to his desk to sit down. “I’m assuming I’m breaking the news. Your daughter and I are expecting a baby this fall.”
He rotated his head, bringing his ear into view. “Pardon me. My daughter?”
“Yes, sir.”
He scoffed, “Then you are breaking the news to me because no one has mentioned… Is it Priscilla?” His nostrils widened as he sat back and crossed his arms expectantly. “She didn’t have the gall to tell me herself? She sent you here with my direct manager? At my work?”
“I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting Priscilla.”
Ernest was struck with a thought. His eyes narrowed again. “What’s your affiliation with the casino— Then his eyes brightened with revelation, and he gasped, “Amaya? Amaya is pregnant?”
“Shit,” I whispered, shaking my head. “She’d kill me if she knew I was here. But as a man, I had to meet you. There are a few things I need to get off my chest as a father. To understand.”
“Why wouldn’t Amaya tell me she’s pregnant?” Ernest was grossly confused.
“James, I don’t know Amaya either.”
“Shit,” he cursed beneath his breath, reclining into his chair. “Then I believe there’s been some mix up here. I only have two daughters. If you’re saying you’ve never met Cill, and don’t know Maya, then I’m afraid you’re confusing me with someone else.”
“That’s the part of understanding I’m trying to gain. I tell you I’m expecting a child with your daughter, and you rattle off two names then dismiss me.”
He scoffed, “Because those are my daughters. I’m not sure what you’re looking for here.”
I glance around his office, seeing awards on the walls dating back thirty years or more. “Is this the branch where you encountered her?”
“I’m sorry? Who?”
My eyes landed on him. “Monica Washington.” The little melanin in his face drained instantly and his neck visibly heated. I gave him a second to chew on that. “Mr. James, I’m expecting a child with your daughter this fall.”
His attention was below, somewhere on his desk, eyes shifting from left to right. “Hayden,” he whispered ghostly.
“Okay. So, now you know I’m in the correct room.”
“I don’t understand. Did Monica tell you to come here?”
“Are you in touch with Monica?”
“I haven’t heard from Monica in over five years.” He scoffed, “More than that. I think the last time I saw her was at a college graduation.”
“And that’s it?”
His face wrinkled. “Is that what this is all about? You coming to my place of employment to give me shit about something personal?”
“Mostly, yeah.” I nodded firmly. “But I was being honest when I mentioned wanting an understanding, too. Hayden’s an incredible human being. She’s smart, independent, accomplished…beautiful.” I scratched the side of my nose with my index finger. “I’m absolutely crazy about her…was in no time.” I wouldn’t bring up how long we’d known each other because it had been no time at all.
“I’m glad you think all those things about her. I’m proud to hear all of that.”
“Then why don’t you know it?”
There was another pause after he examined me. “I’m not sure if she told you the story or her mother, but Hayden opted out of a relationship with me. She had to be… Let’s see…” His eyes circled as he thought about it. “She was, maybe, thirteen— fifteen? The girls were so young. They were filled with hormonal energy, you know. We tried bringing Hayden into our circle, but after some time, she opted out.”
I smiled, fighting back a chuckle. “And you let her?”
“Pardon me?”
“She was actually twelve. But let’s go with your memory. You let a hormonal teenager tell your grown ass she no longer wanted you as her father?”
The muscles in his face fell. “Well… Yeah. Not in the way it sounds, but yes. It was a complicated fusion of my girls at home and Hayden. Monica told me Hayden wasn’t happy. I let the women handle that. I didn’t get involved.”
“Sounds to me like the only involvement you had in her life was when you impregnated her mother.”
“Now, wait a minute!” His palms went into the air. “I will not sit here in judgement by a stranger. Also, I’m at work.”
“Hey, listen.” I raised a hand in acquiesce. “I get it. I’m a dad…about to be one for the second time. I fuck up. At this rate, each month I’m fuckin’ up somewhere by making the wrong disciplinarian call or not being patient enough. Shit. I work around the clock and travel the fuckin’ globe for a living. That’s my biggest fear once he’s up and off: whether I’ve given him enough attention. But James, I’ll never have to question if I abandoned ship too prematurely.
“There’s no such thing as signing off for a parent. There are no timeouts, and no true elongated breaks, even if you’re separated for a brief time. You’re still on call. You’re still criticized for doing too much, embarrassing them…being corny. Shit . The list goes on and on. But what a parent doesn’t get is an option to not parent. We don’t get relieved of our duties by hormonal teenagers. We don’t get to shut our eyes at night and never dream for them. Our brain never turns off their existence. A true parent doesn’t have the choice of not showing up for the gig. The child gets fucked up when that happens.”
“Hayden has a degree. She’s what? Thirty-one…thirty-two?—”
“Try twenty-nine.”
“Okay. I knew she was somewhere around there. My point is, she’s made it this far, got a degree, and is just now getting pregnant.”
“Do you know if she has a criminal history?”
“No.”
“Do you know if she has all of her body parts? Been in a freak accident?”
He scoffed, finding those last two questions cynical. “No.”
“Do you know if she was ever traumatized as a child under your absent, quitting ass eye, and wasn’t protected?”
He blinked hard. “Well… What do you mean? Did that happen? Where was Monica? Did she do something to hurt that girl?”
I calmly reminded him, “You would know if you were there.”
“Listen. I don’t appreciate you coming to my job, and involving my manager, just to judge me and present hypotheticals!” He finally raised his voice. “What’s all this to you?”
I did laugh this time. “I’m the man who showed up for her during a complicated period in her life and demanded to stay to make it right. I’m the man who’s trying to do right by a woman who has trust issues, likely directly connected to the first man in her life not showing up for her. I’m the man turning my ever-busy world upside down to fit her in. But at every turn, she’s resisting me. And not because she doesn’t want me. It’s because Hayden doesn’t know how to receive shit from a man that ain’t quick, easy, and short term. I’m the man who will be in her life, long term.”
He chuckled, but I didn’t believe Ernest’s ease with this conversation. “How do you know? That’s Hayden’s call.”
Shaking my head, I softly shared, “Because as long as that child she’s carrying right now lives, I’ll always be shoulder-to-shoulder with Hayden, on daddy duty. Hayden doesn’t have a say and neither does said child. I’m a dad for life, James.”
Again, he didn’t speak for a while. I took the time to applaud myself for keeping my cool and not having raised my voice. I didn’t come here today to harm him. I just wanted to show myself as a man who was interested in his daughter, although he hadn’t been at any point in her life apparently.
Then I realized I needed to go, so I stood, pulled out a business card, and placed it on his desk. “Hayden has a birthday coming up. In case you forgot it, it’s October twelfth. Our baby shower is on the same day. It would be great if your family could show up for her. She’s had a trying year—some setbacks and some victories. Hayden purchased her first home this year. Alone. Her cousins want to make it a celebration for her on all fronts. I’m not sure if your wife and daughters would be interested in attending; that’ll be their choice. But as a father…”
As I grabbed the handle to the office door, Ernest James spat, “What if she doesn’t want me there? Did you think about that? Are you saying I don’t have a choice?”
I turned to face him and winked. “I think I see where Hayden gets her quick wit and sharp learning abilities. It was a pleasure, Mr. James.”
Then I was off to put out my next fire.
“Hayden, don’t you dare!” Lex yelled at me as I dumped used plates and utensils into the large garbage can.
“It’s okay. Really. We’re almost done. This was really nice of you guys.” I smiled, watching Ezra help Lex and Tamara clean up the conference room at Christ Cares after the baby shower they threw for me.
It was so sweet and thoughtful. The party ended a while ago, and most of the staff had already left the building to get started on their weekend.
“Well,” Tamara began. “…you know how Lex says, ‘We only have one Hayden.’ I agree. It was an honor.” She winked.
Ezra tied up a garbage bag and put a fresh one into the can. “Ezra, I can’t believe you’re here, helping out. A man of your stature? Cleaning?” I wasn’t teasing. He looked awkward as hell with his fit, lengthy frame, dress shirt rolled up at the sleeves, and bespoke-appearing trousers, taking out the trash. “And you left work to come do this?”
“My man. My man. My man. My man!” With her tongue out, Lex rocked her body side-to-side, her wild, wooly hair taking flight above her head. “You gotta get you one, ladies. He drove from Jersey to pick me up for dinner but wanted to help me out before we left.”
That reminded me of a controlling Latin King lookalike. “If you don’t mind me asking, Ezra: I know you spend time in your office here in the building once in a while, but what do you do for a living?”
“Yeah,” Tamara interjected. “I thought you got paid to preach and pastor.”
Lex spit out a chuckle seasoned with sarcasm.
“No.” Ezra replied. “My salary from the church is rerouted to various ministries.”
“It literally goes right back to the church,” Lex shared with sass.
I liked her with him. Ezra wore extremely well on that Harlem chick. She seemed so free to be herself, which appeared to be in complete contrast to her husband and his culture. I loved every nuance of their relationship for her.
About a year ago, unusually, we went out for drinks after work one day. One drink led to three, and my boss lady was sharing some freaky shit with me about a sex club here in the City. She said lots of freaky shit like watching people have sex in the open. Lex even mentioned patrons being able to watch couples have sex from a remote room. She never revealed what her experience with this club had been. She only mentioned the culture of said club. I wondered if her aplomb, bible-toting husband knew she had this knowledge.
Absolutely the fuck not …
“I run a lab out in Kearney, New Jersey,” Ezra answered in his usual, unhurried rasp, pulling down baby décor from the wall. “ Kaiser’s Laboratories . We’ve recently expanded our facility and work to include commercial reproductive medical storage. A former mentee of mine oversees that leg of the business while I’ve remained on the other.”
“Which is?” I asked.
“We measure the sustainability of manufacturing processes, services, and natural resources, gauging their interaction with society…” He pushed up from his toes to remove an errant piece of tape. “…to ensure they’re safe.”
I snickered at that. When Lex grinned my way with questioning eyes, I explained, “My wanna-be-baby’s daddy loves to say: in his line of work, he makes sure people have a good time and are safe while doing it.” I rolled my eyes, unable to hide my goofy beam.
“ Awwwwww! ” Tamara sang.
“Who’s helping you take all these gifts home?” Ezra asked. “Would you like me to load them into your car?”
That gave me pause. I didn’t have a car today. We’d been back from Red’s Island for three weeks, to the day, now. Ishaan hadn’t been allowing me to drive into New York City much. He preferred driving me. But with his impossible schedule, that wasn’t always feasible. On those occasions, he’d have one of his drivers do it. Was I open to the idea at first? Hell no! But it was one of many I decided against giving pushback.
Ishaan and I had been compromising. A lot. One of his concedes was moving his monstrous monitoring system from the sitting room of his master suite into his formal office at the house. I hated sleeping with eight television monitors on. And even when he’d power off the screens as we slept, I’d hear the motors running from the CPUs. It was like being in the White House’s situation room with all the screens on one wall. I couldn’t live like that. Plus, we needed that space for the baby’s nursery before moving it into one of the available bedrooms upstairs.
Also, I had to yield to spending some nights in Atlantic City on the weekends. Twice, Ishaan had work obligations preventing him from coming home at night. When I was okay with accepting he wouldn’t be home for a night, he objected. He had me driven to his other New Jersey home— KAHRI Resort & Casino. I didn’t mind at all, wanting to be with him, too, even if the commute was two hours one way.
My wanna-be-baby’s daddy hadn’t been too keen on the idea of keeping his hands to himself in Alpine when Mehki was home. He hated the discipline, and I didn’t know what the bigger issue for him had been: being told what to do or simply not being able to touch me. Ishaan was outnumbered on that one. Dr. Patterson agreed. Either way, I continued trying to gain favor with Mehki, who still had not let up on me.
“ Ummmmm …” My face folded as I thought about it. “I don’t have my car today.” That made me laugh. “Ishaan has totally?—”
Lex’s brows shot up. “Hijacked your independence?”
My expression mirrored hers, only I was embarrassed. She admitted that in front of Ezra!
When I turned to see if he’d been paying attention, I caught his face drop into his palm. “Christ,” he rasped lowly.
Shifting back to Lex and flashing my teeth to express how awkward the moment was for me, I chirped, “Let me call Ishaan. I’m sure I’ll be fine with all of this.” I gestured to the gifts.
En route to my office, my bladder did a wiggle, so I made a beeline to the restroom. Once done and on my way to my office, I pulled out my phone to text Ishaan.
Me: baby boo! You missed my shower!
Snickering to myself as I crossed into my office, I headed straight to my desk to check my emails. It wasn’t until I dropped into my seat that I’d seen him.
“Fuck!” I yelped. Grabbing the edge of my desk, I shot to my feet way too fast. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I whispered.
Kenny left the chair typically occupied by Mika. “Damn. You’re pregnant-pregnant!” he mumbled with eyes wide as saucers, caught off guard by my expanded appearance.
Out of breath, I managed quietly, “You sneak into my office and insult me? Get the fuck out!”
I didn’t want to alert anyone, so I fought to keep my volume low.
His palms pumped toward me. “Hayden, chill. You know me,” he kept his voice low. “You know me better than Patterson.”
“And you’ve known ‘Patterson’ longer than I have. You know that nigga’s crazy when it comes to security!”
“I do, which is why I’m offended that you’d let him tell you to stay away from me. For what? You know I ain’t into no violent shit.”
“I don’t know what you’re into. I do know you got a hundred names and a million stories.”
“Kenny is a nickname—a family name my relatives back home used to call me.”
“Where is home for you, Kenny?” I lifted a single brow.
“Don’t start that shit, Hayden. Don’t let him get into your head. You know I look out always. If you had told me back in August who you were pregnant by, I could’ve schooled you on some shit. But, no, you wanted to be cagey about your business. Then you let him convince you to cut ties with me. That don’t even sound like you! Since when do you let a man tell you what to do? How did he even knock you up?” he screeched in disbelief.
Was I really that cold of a woman that it was impossible to be close enough to a man to get pregnant? I didn’t want to think about that in the moment. Ishaan and I had been in a wonderful—dreamy—place since Red’s Island . I’d started seeing a therapist and all—his therapist. I remembered Ezra’s warnings about the three demons lurking. There was no way I’d risk exposing my child to them.
“Why do you need to contact me? I mean… I know we keep in touch. But what’s the urgency, considering my situation? Why can’t you just give him some time for all this ‘Kenny versus Rob’ shit to die down? Why are you here? At my job, Kenny? Do you get how wild this shit is?” I whispered hard.
“I don’t plan to stay!” he matched my volume, and I picked up his nervous energy. “You clearly got my ass blocked. This was the only way I knew I’d see you. I just need you to not let Patterson’s money, influence, and power jade your view of me. He ain’t all he seems. The nigga got two faces. He lives a double life, Hayden. And I’m talking some dark, dark shit. Don’t let the Italian suits he wears as a uniform fool you.
“In order for him to be good at his job, Patterson has to be connected to the underworld. I’m talking, prostitutes, killers, prosecutors, judges…he got fucking resources stacked high. His hand is in lots of shit from Vegas to Atlantic City to Red’s Island to…wherever else wild, plotting ass Jacobs decides to open up shop?—”
“Easy, Kenny,” I warned. “Azmir is a sensitive topic. He’s married to my cousin, Rayna.”
“Okay! Okay,” he expressed eagerly. “Perfect. Then ask her to tell you about what Patterson did to his first baby’s mother?”
“First baby’s…” Repeating it made sense at the time. “What about her?”
“Do you know where she is?”
I was so damn confused. “Dead.”
“And do you know who killed her?”
My eyes damn near popped out of my head. “Killed her? Who said she was murdered?”
A slick smile spread over his face. Finally, I saw the Kenny I was conversant with. “So, he can tell you to stay away from me, but don’t mention he’s the fucking boogey man?” He nodded with puckered lips. “Ask him about it. And protect yourself and your baby. Ishaan Patterson.” He shook his head, warning me. “He can’t be taken at face value, Hayden. He ain’t what he presents. Don’t forget that. Protect yourself. Always.”
As Kenny pivoted for the door, a tall, thick, and brooding, bearded man filled the frame.
Ezra …
He rasped, “Is there a problem, Hayden?”
I gazed over to Kenny, noting his cocky grin coming to life.
I shook my head. “No, Pastor. He was just leaving.” Then came my forged smile.
As though coordinated, a peanut butter-hued, neck-tatted figure just mere inches taller than Ezra stood behind the pastor, peering directly at me. I almost lost control of my bladder—the bladder I’d just emptied.
I panicked, surprising the shit out of myself by keeping my voice low. “Ishaan,” I pleaded on a shaky voice. “…my pastor’s here.”
Pastor . Scared out of my ass, I referred to my boss’ husband as my pastor to, hopefully, keep Ishaan from going rogue in front of him. I didn’t want my messy, complicated world exposed to this holy man.
“I know, baby. I’ll be a gentleman today,” his voice was so soft. “Let’s go, Whitter.”
Kenny scoffed, “Go where? I haven’t done anything wrong.” His posture was defensive.
“He hasn’t, Ishaan. He was just leaving,” I tried.
“And I can stay if I want,” Kenny argued. “This ain’t no A.D.J. property, Ish.”
“But it is a holy one,” Ezra shared. “And it’s mine. Not only are there employees here on my property, but my wife is also. So, you will leave and now.” Ezra stepped inside, allowing Ishaan access to the doorway, which he took.
“Ishaan!” I trilled.
“Baby,” he scolded gently. “I’ve gotta get you home. I’m tired myself. Rob will be extradited down to the Atlantic City Police Department. They’ve been wanting a chat with him for a while.” Then he turned to Kenny. “Maybe that’ll keep you away from my lady for a little while.”
One of Ishaan’s security guys, Tyler, appeared in the doorway out of nowhere.
“I ain’t going down to no A.C.!” Kenny hissed.
When Ishaan went to grab him, Kenny snatched his arm away. That’s when Ishaan shifted then head-butted Kenny, knocking him into the door. The second he dropped, Tyler swiftly grabbed him, turning him onto his face. Ishaan was right behind, gathering Kenny’s hands behind his back.
“You head-butted me? Again? ” Kenny shouted, sounding winded.
Taking him by the collar and his gathered wrists, Tyler grabbed Kenny’s kicking feet effortlessly. They carried him out of my office as he wiggled violently and shouted. That left Ezra and me behind.
“Ezra…” I started until he raised a hand.
“No need. It’s done. You’re safe. That’s all that matters.” After a beat, he turned to me. “Hayden, go home and read Philippians chapter four, verse eight. Meditate on it.” Not really processing his words, I did mentally record the scripture. “Now, let me go check on my beloved.”