Chapter 31 Revelations
REVELATIONS
ZEKE
Coming downstairs the next morning, I didn’t expect to find Cyn and Rae in each other’s faces, already yelling at each other.
“You don’t get to tell me what to do,” Rae said, glaring at Cyn.
He scoffed, tossing a hand towel on the kitchen counter. “Looks like I just did.”
Where were Ezra and Ash?
Rae pointed to his face. “Just because we fucked last night doesn’t mean you get to boss me around now.”
My eyebrows shot up.
Cyn’s eyes dropped to her finger, his expression darkening. “Until we leave here, we all have a say in what you do.”
“Like hell you do!”
Heart racing, I froze in the living room, watching them. I didn’t know what they argued about—I wasn’t sure I cared. I couldn’t stop thinking about them having sex last night.
Where? When? We all went to sleep together.
I didn’t hate the idea of them having sex. In fact, I considered retreating upstairs before they saw me and noticed the erection pressing against the front of my jeans.
It hurt to hear about Cyn’s other sexual partners. Even knowing they were temporary, hearing they’d gotten a piece of him that I couldn’t made it hurt more than I’d ever admit.
But with Rae? I knew he wanted her. He didn’t have to say it. I suspected he wanted her for more than sex too, though he couldn’t see it. But I could, and it didn’t bother me.
I saw how he lit up when she fought with him—how she met him toe-to-toe when others shied away in the same situation. He studied her mannerisms constantly. A couple of times I caught him sniffing the throw pillows after she left the room, settling into her spot on the sofa.
I jolted out of my runaway thoughts when Rae’s shoulder bumped mine as she stormed past me, racing up the stairs.
Cyn met my eyes. “Breakfast.”
I needed to find out what happened, not chase after her like I wanted.
I sat on an empty stool, stacked pancakes on my plate, and asked, “What was that all about?”
Cyn grabbed the edge of the counter and hung his head forward between his arms. “She’s so stubborn.”
“I thought you liked that about her.”
He lifted his head and smirked. “Yeah, usually.” Sliding the syrup over to me, he sighed. “Not this time.”
“Why?”
“Because she just agreed to go on a fucking date with that asshole.”
I set my fork down. “What?”
“I fucked up, Zeke.” His amber eyes met mine, and I saw pain in them.
“What happened?”
Licking his lips, he said, “Last night, we…” He inhaled through his nose and sighed. “We fucked.”
I said nothing, waiting for him to continue.
“Sleeping in her bed wasn’t a good idea. We’d had too much to drink. I woke up touching her and couldn’t stop.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “I’ve never felt anything as incredible as the heat of her body. Why the fuck didn’t she sleep with her friend?”
I fidgeted as he groaned, as if he were reliving the moment.
They’d done it beside me. I was lucky I slept through it. I wouldn’t know what to do if I woke up, and I didn’t want to risk making them angry by watching.
I didn’t answer his question. He knew I wanted to sleep in Rae’s bed. That’s why he agreed to it when I talked to him upstairs. He was hesitant, but he indulged me as always.
I hated that he sounded like he regretted letting me have what I wanted.
“It didn’t go well,” he said, standing upright.
“What? Why?”
He looked away, jaw tightening. “She pushed me like she always does. You know what I mean?”
“Sort of?”
“Stubborn. Bratty. Fucking infuriating as shit.”
I scoffed. “You like it.”
“Yeah, but I had my fingers inside her when she pulled that shit.”
I froze, fork and knife suspended over my plate. “What’d you do?”
Something bad must’ve happened between them to spark that level of agitation.
“I was rough with her,” he said, closing his eyes, throat working.
“You hurt her?” I rose, ready to rush upstairs and check on her.
“No!” His eyes snapped open. “I don’t think so. She seemed into it. Like she liked the fight as much as I did. Thing is, I didn’t know I’d like the fight. No one’s ever done that before.” He shook his head. “But that’s not the worst part.”
I sat and took a big bite of syrupy pancakes. If it got worse, I needed a distraction.
“When she came, I felt everything.”
I swallowed. “Like she didn’t fake it or anything?”
“No one fakes it with me,” he snapped, then carded both hands through his hair. “I’m sorry.”
“Hey, I’m fine.”
“Still shouldn’t have snapped.”
I cut into my pancakes again to show him I wasn’t dwelling on it.
Cyn always seemed uncomfortable when things upset me.
Ever since we were children, he handled things before I could have a meltdown. He sometimes went overboard with his protectiveness. I didn’t mind it, but I didn’t want him to feel responsible for my emotional well-being all the time.
“So, what do you mean?”
“Her emotions.” He looked at me again, and I saw panic flare just saying the words. “I felt her ecstasy turn into confusion when I…”
“You what?” I asked when he didn’t continue.
“I needed to show her… I…” His voice grew increasingly agitated. He squeezed his eyes shut when he couldn’t articulate his thoughts. He huffed a defeated, “Fuck.”
I reached across the counter and grabbed his hand to reassure him.
His gaze locked with mine. “I felt this urge to take care of her after she came.” He sneered. “I don’t do that shit.”
I knew that much.
I never asked about his bed buddies, but I’d overheard enough to know he was good—and that he didn’t give them much attention or feel anything for them. He wasn’t tender or loving. They gave him blood in a glass, and in return, he pleasured them. He was an heir to the council, so they didn’t care.
It explained his never fighting in bed, too. What’s to fight when everyone wanted you?
“When I got gentle, I felt her confusion. I don’t know if she didn’t understand what I was doing, or if I did something wrong because I don’t normally treat people that way. Or maybe she didn’t understand what was happening to her…”
“Why wouldn’t she understand what was happening to her?”
“There was an edge of fear souring the confusion.”
I frowned. “How did you—”
“I don’t know! I don’t know how I felt any of it.”
He spun, jerking the refrigerator door open. He grabbed a bottle of beer, opened it, and took a long swallow.
“What’s worse? It made me want to take care of her even more. But I can’t. I can’t fucking do that.” He squeezed his eyes shut.
I hated seeing him so conflicted.
He shook his head before looking at me with hard eyes. “She’s manipulating us. Or whatever is attached to her is manipulating us. This isn’t me. I would not act like this with a random fuck. And I shouldn’t have felt what I did about it.”
“What did you feel?”
I doubted he saw Rae as the “random fuck” he wanted her to be.
His teeth dug into the inside of his lower lip.
“I can’t describe how much the idea of leaving her for Elyrdin in that moment broke me.
And that pissed me off. So I left her and came downstairs to sleep on the floor until Ezra and Ash woke me up when they went back out to the forest to try their wings again. ”
I grimaced at the reminder of our lost wings.
He took another long pull of his beer. “Like I said, she’s manipulating us, because I sure as fuck want to go home and get away from her.”
I looked down at my half-eaten pancakes.
I didn’t believe him. He told the truth, but I sensed he was trying to convince himself he felt nothing for Rae.
“Eat.”
I looked up at him. “So, what about the date?” I shoveled another bite of pancakes into my mouth, knowing he wouldn’t answer until I obeyed.
“I guess she wasn’t happy about last night. Who the fuck knows? I overheard her telling Maya to give the cousin her number.”
Frowning, I pushed my empty plate away after finishing the last bite.
I didn’t mind that she was intimate with Cyn. But the idea of her dating someone else twisted something inside. My feelings for her confused me.
“Why do you look sad?”
I looked up. “Huh?”
“You’re upset she might go on a date?”
“Aren’t you?”
“Yes, because she needs to be available to help us get home.”
Liar.
I didn’t even know how she could help us go home. Ezra and Cyn kept saying she could, but we hadn’t made progress. What could she actually do?
“You need to stay away from her,” Cyn said, drawing my attention back to him.
“Why? She’s nice.”
“You act like she’s your girlfriend, or mate, or something.”
I toyed with the napkin in front of me, folding and unfolding it, unsure of how to respond.
On more than one occasion, I felt emotions that didn’t seem like my own. They aligned too closely with her body language, and it made me uneasy. Now, hearing Cyn recount similar experiences unnerved me more.
Then there was the matter of her blood.
It tempted me even though I didn’t like blood. I even thought I caught something in her scent when we teased her last night about Cyn, but maybe that was the alcohol.
She couldn’t be my mate.
Besides, the others reported similar things, and we couldn’t have more than two Nyrith mates.
“We need to do more to find a way home,” Cyn said. “Otherwise, she’s going to cause bigger problems. I can feel it.”