Chapter 40 Denial
DENIAL
ASH
Everything I thought I knew about Nyrith pairs and a human’s ability to bond with our kind crumbled in an instant. As soon as I heard the words, my foundation didn’t just crack—it was swallowed whole, devoured in the same way Ezra’s shadows consumed prey.
I knew.
I’d ignored my instincts in favor of my education, dismissing what my body and heart tried to tell me. As a result, I denied us both what we wanted—needed.
Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to focus on the now.
The air rippled around Ezra before he smoothed his hair into place, his alternate form concealed. He acted aloof, but I knew unleashing his shadows in front of Rae set him on edge.
He once described his shadows as if they had a mind of their own. After watching his early struggles to manage them, I understood. He needed to learn complete emotional control from a young age to avoid harming others and himself.
I looked at Rae, still held upright by Zeke. The lingering power in the air made it difficult for her to stand.
Ezra wanted to protect her, but watching his shadows twist in her direction after consuming Shane, as if they needed to consume her too, I suspected there was something more.
I didn’t think they wanted to hurt her, given how they protected her, but they still posed a risk. I understood why Ezra had called them back.
The question remained: why would something that only harmed wish to protect?
My gaze shifted from Rae to Ezra.
Many feared Ezra’s powers, and he’d built a resistance to judgment, but whether he’d admit it or not, he cared about Rae’s opinion.
His handling of her shifted from outright dismissal to something I couldn’t yet name. I saw his alarm when Rae’s panicked voice came over the speakerphone the other day.
The oppressive weight in the air eased as the last of Ezra’s power dissipated.
Zeke let go of Rae’s arms. “What now?”
Rae approached the spot where her boss once stood, staring down at the floor. “Is he dead?”
“Yes,” Ezra said, drawing her attention to him.
Licking her lips, she approached him, tilting her head to hold his stare. “Thank you for saving me.”
I didn’t know if Ezra intended to react. The raw panic in Zeke’s voice when he cried out Rae’s name triggered Ezra’s transformation before he even saw the threat; his shadows moved on instinct.
Ezra lifted a hand but stopped before he touched her face. “He won’t be a problem anymore,” he said, tone terse. He pulled off the tattered remains of his shirt, tossing them on the sofa. “Can someone get me a shirt?”
Rae retreated to stand near the entertainment center when Zeke rushed up the stairs. No one spoke until he returned with Ezra’s shirt.
Zeke sat on a stool next to the counter, watching Rae. “I can’t believe she’s our Nyrith. This is… wow.” A wide smile followed his laughter. “I didn’t want a mate before now, but if it’s…”
Cyn yelled, “She’s not our mate!”
Zeke flinched, his smile fading.
Ezra finished buttoning his shirt, never taking his eyes off Rae.
I ached to hold her, to tell her everything would be fine, but the uncertainty of that promise kept me frozen.
I wanted this. As my Nyrith, it’d mean we could be together, right?
But it’d mean either staying on Earth—abandoning my duty and people—or forcing her to leave everything she knew for Elyrdin, a place that might not sustain human life.
Only Zeke tried to address the situation, but he wouldn’t provoke Cyn now, and everyone else seemed too shaken by the news. I expected Zeke to withdraw after Cyn’s outburst. Cyn had never yelled at him before.
Needing to say something, I cleared my throat. “It makes sense, but I don’t see how it’s possible. Everything I’ve read about Nyriths never mentioned humans.”
“I don’t understand any of it,” Rae said, watching Cyn as he paced, back in his common form now that her boss was dead. “You guys are saying I’m your mate? Like… animals?”
I chuckled, loving the way her nose wrinkled. “Like a permanent partner. A soulmate, humans call it. But with magic behind it.”
“Okay, so let’s say Shane wasn’t full of shit—because let’s face it, he wasn’t exactly known for being trustworthy.” She rubbed her arms. “From what I know about mates on Earth, animal or human, there’s only one partner. Unless it’s polyamory, but that’s not exactly common here.”
Ezra tore his focus from her and sat on the sofa. “I’ve never heard of a Shyrlivi having more than two Nyrith mates. Two is rare. But Elyrdin doesn’t view multiple partners as taboo the way humans do.”
“With mates,” I added, “once the bond forms, they don’t add others.”
Rae frowned. “But you’re saying someone could already be happy with someone else, and then magic throws another person into it? What happens to the other person?”
“It’s happened,” Zeke said. “Everyone involved decides how to handle it.”
“The two-mate thing… How does that work if you don’t ‘add’ people?”
“The magic settles once all mates are joined,” I said. “That’s how you know whether there’s another out there, or if you’ve found all you’re meant to have.”
“I guess… I just can’t imagine having two husbands. That’s not even legal here.” She gave a short laugh. “I guess if you grow up around magic and mates, it’d feel different.”
It settled me to hear a little humor in her voice. I didn’t know what I expected, but having a normal conversation about a concept foreign to her wasn’t it.
She put her hands on her hips and blew out a breath, looking at the floor.
“I didn’t even want a relationship with one person, much less four.
” She looked up with wide eyes. “I’m not saying I’m agreeing to anything.
I don’t even know what the hell is going on.
And…” Her gaze slid to Cyn, then settled on Ezra, before she sighed and looked down at her feet again.
I knew she wanted me and Zeke, and I believed Zeke knew it too, but Ezra and Cyn were an obstacle I didn’t know how to overcome. Still, a part of me filled with joy at knowing I shared something so precious with my brothers and not a random stranger.
Cyn stopped, narrowed eyes locked on Rae. “It’s not true, so get the idea of having a ‘relationship’ with any of us out of your pretty little head. You’re a human. We’re heirs in a world you will never see. At least, not as a living being.”
My protective instincts flared when he bared his teeth in an almost feral grin.
“Cyn, please,” Zeke said, reaching for his arm. “What if it’s true?”
Cyn spun on him. “Do you want it to be true?” He stepped between Zeke’s knees, putting them almost nose-to-nose. His voice dropped to a dark whisper. “Do you want her?”
Zeke’s tone sounded soft, but I heard his whispered words. “What if I do? Is that so wrong?”
Cyn’s entire body snapped taut before he whirled and stalked across the room to Rae.
Zeke jumped off the stool. “Cyn, no!”
Ezra and I both stood, but Ezra put his hand on my chest. “He won’t kill her.”
I didn’t know if I believed him this time.
“This isn’t happening,” Cyn said, stepping in front of her.
“We’re going home. There’s one thing we haven’t tried to get there, and I’m sick of avoiding it.
” His lip curled. “I wanted to do it the first night I met you, but Ezra wouldn’t let me.
Said you were more important alive than dead.
He knew I wouldn’t stop with just a few drops. ”
Rae stepped away from him. “What are you talking about?”
When Zeke approached, Cyn turned and pointed at him. “Sit the fuck down.”
“Don’t hurt her,” Zeke pleaded, but it only riled Cyn.
If Zeke grasped the depth of Cyn’s love for him, he wouldn’t say anything that hinted at his desire or affection for Rae. It only fed Cyn’s jealousy, and I feared if he shifted, he wouldn’t be able to control himself.
He gritted his teeth, facing Rae. “You’re a curse,” he spat. “We’re not your mate, and you’re not ours. You can’t have a mate.” He stepped toward her.
She took another step back, her scent souring as she recognized his behavior wasn’t like their usual hot-and-cold sparring.
Before she could retreat further, he surged forward, wrapping his hand around her throat, pinning her to the wall. Her eyes rounded, the sour scent of her fear choking me.
“Cyn, that’s enough!” I pushed against Ezra’s hand and growled when I realized he held me in place with his power. My feet felt glued to the floor. “We have to stop him.”
“If we stop him now, he will kill her later.”
“What?” Zeke asked, his face pinched in concern as he came over to us. “Why do you say that? We need to help her.”
“This has been building in him. You know it, Ash.” His steady gaze met mine. “He’s fighting two battles right now within himself.”
Zeke’s fearful gaze moved from us to where Cyn pinned Rae against the wall. “Is someone going to tell me what’s going on?”
“If he snaps later when we aren’t there, he will kill her, and we won’t be able to stop him. We’ll intervene if he goes too far, but he needs this before he breaks and risks all of us.”
I understood his reasoning for not restraining Cyn the way he restrained me now, but I didn’t have to like it.
Cyn leaned in, whispering something to Rae, then licked her neck.
“You’re crazy,” she said, struggling in his grip. “I never said I wanted to be anything to you. I want you to leave.”
He clamped his other hand over her mouth, his blunt nails digging into her cheeks, frightening but not breaking the skin.
She squeezed her eyes shut and whimpered in distress.
I pushed against Ezra’s power again but found no give. Although I eclipsed Ezra in size and physical strength, his magic remained unparalleled.
“Cyn,” Zeke said, stepping forward, but stopping when Ezra lifted his other hand. “Leave her alone. We can go home without you hurting her. Don’t kill her.”
I let Zeke speak, not adding my own words. I knew anything I said now in my enraged state would provoke Cyn.
“I won’t kill you,” Cyn said. She opened her eyes when he loosened his grip on her throat. “I won’t waste the energy.”
Her eyes narrowed, but her scent gave away her true feelings. Her fear when I came to her on the sidewalk paled in comparison to this. She believed Cyn would kill her this time.
“But I’m tired of dragging this out,” he said, lowering his hand from her mouth. “We’re going to see if your blood will get us home.”
The air around Cyn rippled and blurred before returning to normal, leaving his alternate form looming with his clawed hand around her throat.
She gasped, eyes widening, terror pouring off her as she struggled against his hand at her throat.
A surge of Ezra’s power flooded through me, reinforcing his hold. He knew I’d go for them. I couldn’t speak under the weight of his power even if I tried.
“Cyn, stop it. You’re scaring her,” Zeke said, finally finding his courage.
Cyn chuckled. “What’s the matter, little human? Afraid?”
I felt her fear ease at his dismissive tone that sounded more like the Cyn she knew, prompting her own dismissive response.
“Fuck you. You don’t scare me.”
He scoffed. “False bravado won’t save you.” He pinned her with his hips. “Now, let’s see if your blood does more than smell delicious.”
“Cyn, let her go!” I pushed my power against Ezra’s when Cyn lifted a clawed hand. But my worry for Rae distracted me, and I couldn’t maintain control. My knees buckled under the force of Ezra’s command.
Ezra sighed, repeating his earlier words. “He won’t kill her.”
Zeke looked at him, eyes glassy. “How do you know that?”
“She’s too important to his freedom from the human plane. And if there is even a chance she is his Nyrith, he won’t risk his sanity.”
I hadn’t considered that.
When Nyrith mates died unnatural deaths, the severed magical bond often shattered the mind of their surviving partner, leaving them broken and catatonic or insane.
“Get it over with,” she said, lifting her chin in opposition as best she could with his hand around her throat. “I want you out of here.”
Cyn brought his claw to her face, holding it there, staring into her eyes.
“Well? What are you waiting for?”
The broken sound that left his throat surprised me almost as much as the kiss that followed—one she didn’t protest.
Leaning into him, she clutched the front of his shirt.
When he broke the kiss, his forehead rested against hers as their ragged breaths mingled. “I don’t want to see your face again,” he whispered, closing his eyes. “You’ve brought nothing but trouble to our lives.” He paused before speaking, his voice breaking. “I wish I’d never met you.”
She sucked in a sharp breath, and his eyes opened.
An ache bloomed in my chest as a tear slid down her cheek. His words cut deeper than his claws ever could, and I experienced everything. The intensity of her hurt burned through me like a firestorm.
She bucked, thrashing to break free, and Cyn staggered—her anguish likely hitting him too—giving her the opening to escape upstairs.
As he steadied himself, his gaze met ours, revealing all the pain and confusion he struggled to hide in those obsidian eyes.
How Rae’s fear had morphed into desire and then pain spoke volumes about the reality of our situation. Even she couldn’t ignore the pull.
Although she’d said she wanted Cyn gone, the raw emotion in his voice, devoid of his typical attitude, struck deep inside her. It reminded me of the sharp sting of her heartache when she believed Zeke and I no longer cared.
Haunted by the loss of her entire family while self-isolating to avoid being institutionalized, she’d built a wall around her heart, allowing no one to get close before now.
I didn’t think Cyn understood the extent of the damage his callous words would inflict when he said them.
I wasn’t sure if we could breach the wall again to reach her, or if Cyn destroyed our one chance of having a future with our Nyrith.