Chapter 9 Lillian
LILLIAN
“Thank you so much for driving us,” I tell Cecelia for the hundredth time as we finally reach Kastle Harbor. Their family farm and special Christmas market set up may be magical, but Kastle Harbor is just as special.
Main Street is lined with leafless trees wrapped from top to bottom in white Christmas lights. Poinsettia plants are hanging from the old-fashioned streetlamps, and people dressed in various assortments of winter gear are bustling about.
“Do you mind if I drop you off by the bakery instead of your house?” Cecelia asks as we near the end of the street.
“I don’t mind,” I reply at the same time as Poppy asks if we can get cake pops. I tell her another time, and we do a pinky promise. Cecelia is grinning ear to ear as we pull into the bakery’s tiny parking lot.
We park and get out of the car. There’s a light layer of white snow dusted over everything. It glistens under the soft sunlight.
I give Cecelia a hug, and she states, “As a fellow mom, our kids make mistakes.” She pulls away but keeps her hands on my shoulders. “And sometimes they do stupid things. Or say things without thinking first.”
I grin. Poppy starts to wander off, and I tell Cecelia that I’ll consider talking to Lucas.
“Don’t be a stranger, whether things go well or not.” She states, “Poppy is more than welcome to join the other grandkids for playdates and such. Plus, we have spare stockings if you’d like to join us for our Christmas Eve festivities.”
I start to feel that tug at my heart once more. Like someone pulling at a loose string on a knit sweater. Each interaction with Lucas and his family tears at the rows, unraveling it bit by bit.
I’ve always wanted to give Poppy a real, big family Christmas experience. It’s something I’ve wanted for years and have never been able to deliver.
“I’ll think about it,” I say as Poppy gives Cecelia a hug goodbye. We part ways.
Poppy and I walk down Main Street and chat about the different shapes we see in the snow. It’s a short walk home and we decide to change into pjs and watch Christmas movies.
I make some popcorn and hot chocolate while Poppy picks out a movie.
She’s accumulated all of the throw blankets and made us a cozy spot on the couch that is part nest, part tent.
We get settled in to hunker down. After a few movies and pizza for dinner, I tuck Poppy in and pour myself a glass of wine.
The small house is painted light grey and has splashes of color through decorations and photos of Poppy hung up everywhere.
We have a very empty spot in the living room for the tree and a few boxes of ornaments and other decoration goodies ready to go when the tree is delivered tomorrow.
I fold up the throw blankets and set them on the back of the velvet, emerald, green couch.
Everything in the home has been picked by me and Poppy.
I’ve been part of a duo for so long, maybe I haven’t really allowed someone else in. And perhaps, Lucas is in a similar boat. He admitted he hadn’t had time to focus on dating with his studies and career.
I sip my wine and turn on the tv. A romcom pops up.
Very fitting.
If only life were a romcom and the main guy had some grand gesture to solve everything. But this is real life. I turn the channel to a crime show.
Tomorrow I’ll go to the bookstore and chat with Kristen or Olivia. Maybe they can give me some insight into Lucas and his many walls that are built up.