Chapter 3
KC
If I stared at Oli any harder, I’d set him on fire. His words echoed in my head, over and over again, until a lump formed in my throat and the world closed in around me.
First time.
As in, his first first time?
Holy fuck. I had no idea. From the look on Ren’s face, he hadn’t, either. Oli was a virgin before we took him? Ren hadn’t been gentle.
Ren’s mouth thinned while his eyebrows furrowed, his face doing something complicated. I couldn’t read his expression, but clearly whatever Oli saw was enough for him to decide to hightail it out of here.
He lowered his head, chin pressed flat against his chest, gazing specifically in my direction as though he was too scared to look at Ren. “I’m sorry for disappointing you.” Then, he hopped to his feet, dragged up his pants, and rushed out the door.
I stood, wobbled, and glared at Ren. My heart somersaulted, rattling against my ribs at the thought of letting Oli go. He didn’t even have a damned shirt on, let alone shoes. “Aren’t you going after him?”
Ren groaned and scrubbed his face with his hands. He leaned his elbows on his knees, the color leeching out of his face until his tattoos stood out more vibrantly. “I didn’t fucking know he was a virgin.”
“I didn’t, either, but now he thinks we’re mad at him.
” I grabbed my clothes and dragged them on.
I didn’t need Oli running around in the dark with only his pants on while drowning in weird feelings.
As confused as I was about the bombshell he’d dropped, I wasn’t going to leave him alone.
I couldn’t imagine how he must’ve felt admitting that new information to us.
“I am mad at him,” Ren snapped.
I froze in surprise.
His jaw twitched. “He should’ve told us he was completely inexperienced. We can’t do anything about something we don’t know. Why didn’t he say anything?”
“What does it matter?” I bit back, my glare deepening. “We’ve had sex. He was fine. We didn’t hurt him.”
“I could’ve.” Ren stood, using his height to tower over me.
He was one of the few people in my life who could look down on me, and I hated it. No, that was a lie. I loved that he was taller than me most of the time, except in situations like this. It was a reminder of how small I was. I might not be able to get taller, but I could pack on more muscle.
“I was rough with him. I have piercings, KC. Fucking piercings. They aren’t easy for the sluttiest person to handle, but Oliver was . . . .” He shook his head and waved his hands around. He winced and muttered under his breath, “I could’ve hurt him. I did hurt him.”
This time I didn’t miss the flash of concern twisting his lips and how sadness filled his eyes, but as quickly as the emotions had appeared, they disappeared.
Ren put his heart on the line when it came to asking us for forgiveness for his deception, but he was still struggling with his feelings around us.
This was a man raised in a heartless home.
Maybe I would be this fucked up or more if Pa hadn’t found me and taken me in.
“So, you apologize. You tell him it’s okay, and we move on. We check in with him. We made a mistake. I wasn’t gentle with him, either.” I raised my chin. “He needs us, Ren.”
He exhaled and grabbed his sweatpants, dragging them up his long, inked legs and over his hips. “I need to think.”
I snorted. “Oli’s right. You are a fucking dickhead.”
I stormed out toward the elevator, ignoring his sputtering. I made it down to the underground parking garage before I ran into Oli leaning against the wall without his shirt. He cringed as soon as he saw me and stuck his hands in his pockets, rolling his shoulders in on himself.
“I came with you. Forgot.” His voice was low and sad.
Immediately, I closed the distance between us to pull him against my chest. He melted into me, a sigh escaping him. He was warm and here, and that was all I cared about. I pressed a kiss to his temple.
“Oli, I don’t care that you were a virgin. I wish you would’ve said something because we wouldn’t have been so rough.”
He laughed humorlessly. “But I want you to be rough with me. I like it. A lot. I enjoy the pain. I do! Maybe that’s why I didn’t tell you. Maybe I didn’t want you to look at me any differently. I shouldn’t have been a virgin.”
“That’s bullshit.” I held him tighter, though I didn’t think it was possible.
He was already pressed as close as he could get to me.
I wished I’d thought about grabbing his shirt and shoes before I’d stormed out of the apartment.
“You can be a virgin your entire life if you want. No one gets to choose for someone when or if they have sex.”
“Ren’s mad, isn’t he?”
I exhaled loudly through my nose. If I knew what Ren was thinking, this would all be easier, but I didn’t.
Since we’d returned to him after our blowup, he was back to being closed off.
Unsure. It was as if he expected us to leave again at any time.
He was trying, but Ren wasn’t like me and Oli.
He didn’t show real emotion. His life was an eternal game of poker.
“No. Ren’s Ren.”
Oli made a sound in the back of his throat that I understood. It was half heartbreak and half stupid fondness. We hadn’t known Ren long, but he’d won our hearts and we cared about him.
“Come on. Let’s go back to my place. When Ren gets his head out of his ass, and he will, then he can find us.” I had a feeling it wouldn’t take long. Whatever Ren was thinking about, he wouldn’t tell us until he was ready. Whenever that would be.
I hustled Oli into my orange Jeep Recon and stripped off my shirt, passing it to him. When he opened his mouth to argue, I shushed him and slammed the door. The drive to Vert Island, where I lived with my Pa, wasn’t long from Ren’s apartment.
“How’s your mom?” I asked as we passed over the bridge to get to the island.
Oli and I hadn’t talked about his mom a whole lot, and Ren and I hadn’t had the chance to meet her properly yet.
While I’d seen her the one time I’d been to his house, we hadn’t sat down for a conversation.
I didn’t know how much she knew about our relationship.
Oli was close to his mom and helped her out when he could.
“Fine.” He huddled against the window, gaze stuck on the world around us. The water under the bridge was choppier than usual, but the wind was also blowing. “She’s seeing Dad tomorrow.”
I tensed. Oli’s dad was in prison. As far as I knew, he wasn’t getting out for a while.
Oli hadn’t seen his dad in years because Cain refused to let him visit.
Oli wanted to connect with Cain, but his dad made no effort.
In fact, he went out of his way to stifle the connection.
I mostly knew all this because Cain was a Kings of Men biker and Barber’s club brother.
He used to be the vice president before being locked behind bars.
“What for? I thought she hadn’t seen him since he went to the big house.” My grip tightened on the wheel.
“She hasn’t. She only told me yesterday, I guess so I wouldn’t be surprised.
He wanted to talk to her, not me, so I don’t think she knows what he wants.
” There was a sourness in his tone. He had a complicated relationship with his dad; although, it was mostly because he didn’t have one at all, even before prison entered the picture.
Cain and Oli’s mom had been fuck buddies.
Oli was an accident.
Cain had never wanted to be a father.
This was all hearsay from Barber, of course. I’d never met Cain.
Oli huffed. “I hate that she’s going alone, but she doesn’t want me to come. I don’t think Dad wants me there.”
I clenched my teeth. “Then, he’s an idiot.”
Oli laughed again. “Maybe nobody wants me.”
“We want you,” I said without missing a beat. If I wasn’t driving, I’d reach over for him, but the wind had picked up and the Jeep was swerving too much already. “Ren and I love you.”
He snorted like he didn’t believe me, but he didn’t comment.
When I got home, I was going to send Ren a very pointed text that he wouldn’t be able to ignore.
I pulled the Jeep into the driveway of my Pa’s house and turned off the engine. I cupped Oli’s face, savoring the warmth of his skin under my palm. He leaned into my touch, eyes slipping closed.
“Repeat after me. Ren and KC love me.”
He didn’t open his eyes, but his mouth curved genuinely. “Ren and KC love me.”
“I am special to them.”
His smile grew bigger and some of the sadness bled out of his face. He finally opened his eyes and stared at me with gentleness I was used to from him. “I am special to them.”
“Good.”
Oli’s gaze flicked toward the house and he frowned. “Is that your pa? He looks mad.”
I shot a glance at the front door of my contemporary white house, with its square lines and walls of windows. Sure enough, Pa was there, arms crossed. I could count the number of times I’d seen Pa truly furious on one hand and this was one of those moments. Yet, I had no idea why.
“Fuck. Come on.” I slipped out of the Jeep, and Oli followed me. He met me around the front of the vehicle, and I threaded my fingers with his as we walked toward Pa.
Swallowing down the panic, I gave him a nod. “Hey.”
Pa smiled grimly, then his brow furrowed. He was probably trying to figure out why Oli and I had played musical shirts. His expression softened when he looked at Oli. “Hey, Oliver. Do you mind waiting in KC’s room? I need to have a discussion with my son.”
Double fuck. Pa was more than pissed.
We walked into the house together, and Oli gave me a soft kiss on the lips, then went to my room. My bedroom was on the first floor, so he didn’t go far, but Pa never raised his voice. Whatever the issue was, Oli wouldn’t hear us talking.
“This way.” Pa moved like a general in the army, his spine straight and his arms close to his sides.