Chapter 3 #2
He led me toward the dining table and gestured at it before he took a seat.
I did the same, ignoring the churning that had begun in my stomach as I mentally listed off all the things he could be pissed about.
I came up short. Other than not being happy about us giving Ren another shot, Pa had no reason to be annoyed.
“What did I do?” I asked. Quietly. Uncertain.
Pa cleared his throat and tapped a piece of paper on the table. I frowned when I grabbed it, but as soon as I unfolded the breakdown of services from Pa’s health insurance, the pit of my stomach gave out.
Damn it.
I had completely forgotten about the hospital visit. Because of college, I was still under Pa’s insurance, which meant he’d get the remaining bill and any information from his insurer. I hadn’t told Pa about the hospital yet, mostly because I didn’t know how to explain it.
“Imagine my surprise when I received this. A bill from the hospital for you, my son, who usually tells me everything.” His lips thinned, hurt blasting from his eyes. “Why were you in the hospital? I called, but of course, because you’re over eighteen, they wouldn’t tell me. HIPAA bullshit.”
“I didn’t want to worry you.”
He laughed, sharp and full of indignation.
Guilt streaked across my chest in a dull ache. My fingers twitched against the letter from the insurer.
“You’re my son. I care about you and then this happens. You were in the hospital and didn’t even tell me. This is on Renshaw, isn’t it? He’s not good for you.” Pa leaned closer to me.
The immediate need to defend Ren filled me and I straightened, jaw tight. “Ren’s been nothing but supportive. He’s trying to help me. I . . . .”
“You what?” Pa demanded, slapping his hand on the table. “You what, KC? What happened?”
“I don’t know. I was trying to bulk up. Be stronger. I’m a linebacker.” I resisted the urge to flinch away from him. I didn’t want to hurt him more than I already had. If I’d had a choice, I wouldn’t have called anyone, but the doctor demanded and I chose Ren and Oli instead of Pa.
“What did you do? Did you take steroids?” Pa’s tone softened and he sat straighter. The general getting ready for battle.
“No!” I ducked my head with a groan and covered my face with my palms. “I drank too many smoothies. I was adding too much protein powder. I . . . . I was dehydrated, okay? Too much protein powder strains your kidneys. I passed out at practice.”
“Oh, KC.” Arms wound around me. I hadn’t heard him move, but Pa was good at being quiet. He laid his forehead against my shoulder. “Not all power comes from bulk. Look at me. I’ve taken down men three times my size. It’s about how you use your strength.”
I snorted. He wasn’t wrong, but I also wasn’t Pa. He’d trained as an assassin. I was only a college football player. “Gridiron is different from what you do.”
“I know. Why do you need to get bigger? You’re already huge.
You’re one of the best linebackers in college today.
” Pa brushed his hand over my hair the way he used to when I was younger and upset, and there was a level of comfort that came from his touch.
I might be an adult, but he was still the person who’d raised me and protected me.
I wasn’t going to tell him about Hudson, though. Pa would kill him in a heartbeat. The last thing we needed was a dead or missing quarterback.
“Was it Renshaw? Did he tell you that you needed to put on muscle?” The question was silky. Deadly.
God, Pa really hated him. I could see why, but damn it, Ren was ours. I didn’t need Pa to defend me against him.
I shifted out of Pa’s hug. “No, Pa—”
But he was on a mission. “Renshaw Booth is bad for you. He used you.”
“Like you used Barber?” I snapped.
“Excuse me?” Pa’s eyes widened.
I laughed, but not in meanness. Despite being a killer for hire, Pa had a heart of gold when it came to people he loved.
He worried about me. “Don’t act coy, Pa, it doesn’t suit you.
Because I remember you following Barber and spying on him.
You knew everything about his family. Everything about him. What makes you any different from Ren?”
Pa hesitated.
I had him.
Finally, he sighed. “I didn’t plan on destroying Luke’s life. I was protecting him.”
“He was a job,” I said with a shrug. “I don’t want to fight with you about this. I love Ren. Oli loves him. We’re together, all of us. You’ve always treated me with respect, and I’d appreciate if you continued to trust my judgment.”
Pa’s lips pursed. “You can find a better boyfriend than Renshaw. You and Oli deserve the best.”
What if the best was Ren and Oli? What if the three of us completed each other?
I wasn’t sure if Pa would believe it if I told him that.
“There’s no such thing. We’re human. We all have our issues.
But despite looking like an asshole to you and Luke, Ren cares about us.
He has our back. After they released me from the hospital, he made me go to work with him so he could keep an eye on me.
He’s been trying to help me with my diet.
He wants me . . . . He wants me to see a dietician and a therapist. So do the coaches and Hawthorn. ”
Pa paused, and I waited, wondering if he was trying to reconcile the fact that Ren actually loved me. Finally, he nodded. “I know some good therapists who can help.”
“No, Pa—”
“Kristofer Colt.”
I winced at the full name. Fucking hell. “I’m not sick. It was a mistake. Mi-stake. As in, not something I did on purpose and not something I’ll do again.”
Pa’s shoulders relaxed and he laid a hand on my arm, eyes glittering in sympathy.
“Mistakes are lessons. What you did wasn’t healthy.
And if it was a mistake, you wouldn’t still be talking about getting bigger.
Your thought patterns aren’t heading in the right direction.
” He grabbed my hand and squeezed my fingers.
“As painful as it is for me to admit this, Renshaw is right. You need a therapist and a dietician. I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that I was hurt by you not telling me about the hospital. You’ve never hidden anything from me.”
“It wasn’t about you. I was embarrassed.” My cheeks heated. “I fucked up.”
“Wasn’t it you who just said humans aren’t flawless? Believe it or not, I didn’t get you off an alien ship. You’re flesh and blood like the rest of us.”
I chuckled and ducked my head when Pa grinned widely. “And here I thought I came from Mars.”
“No chance.” He stroked a thumb over my cheek. “You’re my son. Let me help. All of us, we can be here for you.”
After what felt like twenty minutes, but was a few seconds, I forced a nod while ignoring the lump that formed in my throat.
Was there really something wrong with me?
I’d fucked up. I’d drunk too many protein smoothies and I’d dehydrated my body and hurt my kidneys.
I’d learned from my mistake. I wouldn’t do it again. It shouldn’t be a problem anymore.
My attention darted to the pantry where I knew I had protein powder stashed, the same stuff that had gotten me into this situation in the first place.
My fingers itched with an urge I couldn’t begin to explain other than I needed to pack on more muscle.
When I wasn’t with Ren and Oli or at classes or at football practice, I was in the gym, pushing myself to the limit.
What else could I do to make the bulk happen quicker?
My phone buzzed and I grabbed it out of my pocket.
Pa kissed my forehead. “Think about it. I’ll leave you alone. Go tell Oli I didn’t kill you.”
I snorted at his joke as he left the table and headed up the stairs, probably toward his room. Checking my phone, my lips twitched when I saw Ren’s name, even though I was still pissed at him for not chasing after Oli.
Inked God Ren
I’m coming to take you and kitten to classes tomorrow morning, Kansas. No arguments. I need to talk to you both.
I frowned at the nickname. What the fuck? He’d never called me that.
KC
Kansas?
Inked God Ren
yeah, thought kitten had a nn, so you needed one too. KC, like Kansas City. Kansas. My brain is fucking awesome.
KC
I’m not from Kansas. It makes no sense. You could call me K or something.
Inked God Ren
Boring. Kansas is your nn. When I’m finished fucking you, I can say “I’m not in Kansas anymore, Kitten.”
I rolled my eyes. Was he fucking serious? Still, I groaned with a chuckle.
Inked God Ren
Tell kitten we need to chat. I want to apologize and explain.
Well, that was something.
I stood and went to my room to join Oli. We could shower, then get to bed, but Ren had better show up with flowers or something big for Oli as an apology or I’d kick his ass myself. He still wasn’t forgiven for using us, and he didn’t want to add another charge to his rap sheet.