Chapter 9
Chapter
Nine
SUTTON
I thought the comments Ink made about me to Gage when I first started working made me feel the lowest I had since leaving.
Boy, was I wrong.
This took the cake and even put a nice cherry on top.
The look on his face when I told him I’m staying at the motel was almost soul crushing. It’s one thing for him to think I’m not worth the effort, but now he knows. Anyone worth the effort wouldn’t be living in a place like this.
I try my best to keep the tears at bay as we ride through the city, but I fail at that, too.
I think maybe after all those years with Zach, I had come to expect to be treated like that. It became our normal before I realized what was happening. He was good like that.
This, though?
This hurts.
It hurts worse when someone who has only known you for two seconds takes one look and thinks the same. And shame. I feel so much shame.
But why ?
Even though he hates my guts and I think he’s the biggest jerk I’ve met since Zach, there’s a part of me that needs to make him like me.
It’s probably because I don’t want to be fired.
I don’t worry about wiping away the tears as Ink pulls into the motel parking lot because they have all rolled off my face from the air hitting my face.
“Thanks for the ride,” I say, not able to meet his eyes as I hop off the bike. I’m embarrassed. So freaking embarrassed.
Ink nods his head and waits for me to step back before he takes off without a backwards glance.
The anxiety that was suffocating me the entire ride here eases the farther off in the distance he gets. By the time he’s a little dot in my vision, it’s gone.
I’m not ready to answer the questions that were swirling in those blue eyes. Nor do I feel like he’s the one who deserves those answers.
On my journey to Ravenna Heights, there was writing on the wall in a rest stop bathroom saying that trust isn’t a given and needs to be earned.
If the life I left taught me anything, it’s that the people closest to you, the ones you think you can trust without a second thought, are the first ones to destroy you until you have nothing left.
The enjoyment they get out of ruining you is disgusting.
There’s a special place in hell for them, and I know karma will make sure they get there.
Dread consumes me as I walk through the front entrance of the motel.
Gosh, I really don’t like this place. The smell of stale sex and sweat is almost enough to make me throw up on the spot. And the gross thing is, I doubt the guy at the desk would even care. The puke stain would fit right in with the other questionable spots that I’m sure are from bodily fluids.
I try to walk as fast as possible past the front desk without it being obvious that I don’t want to talk to him, but my efforts fail me .
“Hey,” he calls out to me before sucking up snot in his nose and gurgling it in his throat.
Maybe I really will throw up on the spot.
Swallowing down the small amount that is working its way up my throat, I answer, “Yes?”
“Someone was here lookin’ for ya. Asked me to pass on a message.”
The little hairs on the back of my neck slowly stand up, sending a chill down my spine.
No.
I was so careful to cover my tracks.
It’s just not possible.
“What is the message?” I fail miserably at keeping the fear out of my voice.
“Found you,” he says, smiling wide enough to show off his yellow stained teeth. He thinks this is funny.
I dig my nail into the tip of my finger to keep me from freaking out. The sharp pain is enough to distract my mind, but I’m paralyzed in place, unable to move from this nasty spot.
“Excuse me?” I whisper, unsure that I heard him right.
He shrugs. “He said, ‘Found you.’ You should be thankin’ me, girl. I didn’t tell him your room number. That’s gonna cost ya. I don’t do nothin’ for free around here.” He’s still talking, but the pounding fear in my ears has drowned him out.
How did he find me so fast?
He doesn’t know my room number so that buys me some time. Zach isn’t stupid. He knows when to push and when to let up. That’s how he plays his sick and twisted game in slowly breaking you down piece by piece.
“Thanks for letting me know,” I say, cutting him off as I turn on my heel, practically sprinting down the hallway towards my room.
“Don’t forget what I told you about paying your dues around here, girl!” he shouts after me.
How can I freaking forget?
I didn’t leave my room the entire night.
The paranoia had set in with a vengeance because how did I not know I was being watched? All I could think about was the second I step outside the motel he would be waiting, ready to snatch me and take me back to what became my own personal hell.
Zach would only know where I am if he was following me, because I paid for the motel room in cash. In fact, I’ve been very careful to pay for anything I’ve purchased in cash.
Tears pool in the corners of my eyes as I walk to work because I’m tired.
So freaking tired of being scared, paranoid, and broke.
I’m running on fumes, and it doesn’t seem like life is going to cut me a break anytime soon.
Honestly, at this point, I’ll take being broke if I have a place to call mine where I can feel safe and secure.
And if that means eating ramen noodles for the rest of my life, so be it.
I’d rather cry over a bowl of noodles on my own couch than on a bacteria infested bed.
I’m disgusted with the fact that the only reason my room number wasn’t given out was because he thinks I’m going to start selling myself here. I refuse to give a blowjob to someone that probably has a leaky penis. I’ll find a bench to sleep on before that happens.
The only comfort I have right now is that I know for a fact Zach isn’t staying at the motel. A place like that is beneath him, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t staking out in the parking lot.
I slip out the emergency exit in the back the following morning, thinking if he is out there, he would be in the front. Someone’s on my side today because the alarm didn’t sound. I guess I shouldn’t expect an establishment like this to keep up with their safety features.
I decide to take a different route to work this time, just in case he’s been following me there, too.
The GPS on my phone said it was longer but somehow, I got here faster coming this way.
None of the guys at the shop said a word yesterday about someone asking about me and I feel like they would have.
I’m not exactly sure what Ink’s club does, but he doesn’t look like the type of guy that wants anyone sniffing around his territory, an employee he hates or not.
“It’s a little warm to be so bundled up, isn’t it? You hidin’ something under there?” Gage snickers as I walk into the shop with two hoodies on.
I probably look ridiculous, but I didn’t want Zach to spot me immediately if he is watching. Layering thicker clothing helped remove any sort of recognizable body shape.
“Nothing that would interest you,” I sass back jokingly, except we both know it’s true.
“Girl, I’m into anything with tits and ass.” Gage winks.
I can feel my cheeks growing hotter by the second.
“Sutton,” Ink roughly interrupts as he prowls down the hall, heading right toward us, casting Gage a hard look that wipes the smile off his face before handing me a white envelope as he steps into my space. “Here.”
“What’s this?” I ask, taking the envelope that’s being shoved in my face. It’s a little thick and feels too heavy to have only a letter or card inside. The flap isn’t sealed, so I flip it open to reveal a small stack of bills.
“It’s your paycheck.”
“I thought I didn’t get paid until next week?” I ask, sounding as confused as I feel.
“We give new employees an advance on it.”
I can feel my throat start to tighten and burn with embarrassment. Ink was the last person I would have thought would do something like this.
Why is he doing this in front of people?
I didn’t want him to know about where I’m staying, let alone make it obvious that I’m desperate for money .
Gage snorts. “Since when? When the last girl asked for an advance so she could put a deposit down on a new pair of tits, you told her to get the fuck out.”
Great.
My boss, who hates me, now thinks I’m a charity case. To make matters worse, he’s making it known I’m a charity case in front of everyone. I didn’t miss the look of pity that flashed across Gage’s face. He knows something is up.
Folding the flap back down, I hold the envelope out, waiting for him to take it back. “Thanks, but I didn’t ask for this. I’ll take my paycheck like it’s normally supposed to come when everyone else gets paid.”
“Take it,” Ink demands, not reaching for the envelope.
“I don’t want it,” I snap as I throw the envelope at his chest.
I take off the sweatshirts one by one as I walk toward the front desk to get ready for the shift, deciding I’m going to act like this didn’t just happen.
“Don’t be stupid, Sutton,” Ink bites out, prowling after me. “I know you need the money. Anyone with a brain knows you pay in cash at that shit hole because they’re known to steal your shit. I’m tryin’ to make it so you can breathe easy.”
My face flushes again, but this time it’s not from embarrassment.
It’s from rage.
Rage because how dare he.
“You’re trying to make it so I can breathe easy?
” I slam my phone and sweatshirts down on the front desk, needing the outlet for my anger that’s rising at a record rate for me.
What I really want to do is smack him across his stupid face with his pity money.
I’ve never hit someone before, but if life lately has taught me anything, it’s that there’s a first time for everything.
“Then maybe start by staying out of my freaking business. I never asked for your help.”
Gage’s eyes widen as they dance between Ink and I. This is the first time I’ve stuck up for myself since I left Zach and dang does it feel good. It’s almost liberating .
“Stay out of your business?” Ink takes a step toward me. My back is already up against the desk, so I have no choice but to stay right where I am as he boxes me in. “Your business became my business when you took a job at my shop, darlin’. You’d be a fool to not accept the help.”
“First you tell Gage that no one would ever want to put effort into me and now I’m a fool? What’s next? You firing me for being so freaking ugly?”
“Stop puttin’ words in my mouth.” Ink bites out, the scary edge lacing his tone sends goosebumps down my arms. “I didn’t say you were ugly, and I didn’t say I was firin’ you.”
This time, I’m the one taking a step forward until we’re inches from each other. Surprise flashes across Ink’s face. It was only there for a second, but I saw it.
Looks like I’m not the doormat you thought I was after all.
Freaking jerk.
“Uh, guys,” Gage cuts in. “Maybe we should all just take a minute and calm down.”
Gage looks like he doesn’t know whether to pull Ink away or let it play out. Both of these men didn’t expect me to stand up for myself. This backbone has been years in the making, and it’s finally almost built.
“I’ll calm down when he,” I shove the envelope into Ink’s chest, “can go a day without insulting me.”
A low growl rumbles out of Ink’s chest as his hand reaches out and snatches my wrist, holding it flush against his chest. “Watch it. You’re not used to a man like me.
It’s best you remember that. Take it.” He nods down to the money, turns on his heel, and prowls back down the hall. The door to his room slams shut.
The money feels just as heavy as it does dirty in my hand. It’s full of pity, and that makes me so mad. I’m mad that Ink knows where I live and knows exactly what goes down at that place.
Gage lets out an awkward laugh. “Well, that was unexpected, babe. I know I said this before and he’s making me look like a dumbass, but he really isn’t like this.
That’s not the Ink I know. Proud of you for breaking out that backbone, though.
He needs someone that doesn’t ask how high when he tells them to jump. ”
The adrenaline is very alive and pumping through my veins, making my hands shake uncontrollably. That doesn’t stop the smile from creeping onto my face. I did that. And someone was here to witness it.
I can get used to this backbone.