Chapter 1
Dash
The night of The Cleansing: The night I truly died.
I know what it ’ s like to die. To have your entire soul peeled free from your flesh and bones then exposed to the unfiltered predatory world.
As if that wasn’t enough, my soul was stomped on, pulverized until I couldn’t stitch it back together again.
I imagine Mila is feeling the same agony.
I suppose it ’ s poetic in a way. We both met our demise together.
Mila made me experience what it was like to truly love. She gave me a purpose to wake up and endure each day, and then she gave me the drive to paint it all red.
The misty air clogs my nostrils as it coats my filthy flesh. Merely a handful more steps till I ’ m free of these woods.
This is when the nightmare starts.
After all, Cillian said The Cleansing was merely an audition. I still remember the fear in Cillian ’ s eyes. If a man like him fears, then I ’ d be smart to as well.
That explains why I did it, why I killed the only good part of myself.
I let Mila go.
I snuffed out the sparkle in her eyes, and in doing so, I ignited a new darkness in mine. I rejected the only thing that brought me joy, extinguished the light that somehow managed to survive in the turbulent world I live in.
That ’ s why I honestly feel like I ’ m dead now. Mila was my heartbeat.
Thump, thump, oops, she ’ s gone. I jerk my head, trying to escape the deafening echo of a flatline roaring in my ears, the sound of a heart that ’ s stopped and is no more.
I crossed the line with Mila. I made it so there could never be a line again. I shifted our soil, unearthed the very roots, and let us free-fall without a parachute to save either of us.
My fingers flex as I shake Casandra free from them. Killing Jared didn ’ t cause me to feel as filthy as kissing Casandra does.
I ’ d kill Jared again without blinking.
Does that make me cold and ruthless? Sure.
Heroic? Absolutely.
Jared threatened Mila, stalked her, and planned to do vile things to her. His death was warranted. Knowing what his plans were made ending him easier than it should have been.
If only Jared's death could have been our happily ever after. But, no, this is reality, and if what Cillian said was true, I needed to push Mila far, far away from me.
I was aware that kissing Casandra would ignite a fury within Mila, so I had to cut her deeper.I always knew I would in order to break her.
That ’ s why when we first slept together, I chose my words carefully. I asked my little fox if what she wanted was me. In other words, I asked her if this was the favor she wanted.
I never claimed to be a kind man who didn ’ t use deceitful words. I forced Mila to recall the night she gave herself to me in the cruelest way possible. I made her think taking her virginity was just to pay her back, and that getting close to her was just a fun game I played with Dante and Cillian.
It worked.
I could see her pupils dilate with pain then panic, like the walls of a ship taking on too much water. Her tears spilled out. I watched her heart fight but then succumb to the pressure of the emotional waves that were drowning her.
I witnessed her believe my twisted truths and lies. Watched as they wrapped around her ankles and then rose up, locking her trembling knees before she inhaled them, drinking them down till they engulfed her. Then I let her sink in order to save her.
You know what hurts? What feels more painful than a knife peeling off my flesh strip by porous strip?
Mila believed me.
I hate her for that.
A hate so gut wrenching it’s swallowing me, turning me inside out, revealing the ugly monster I tried to hide and ignore.
Even if it saves her life, I still loathe that she thinks my feelings for her were just a game.
Maybe that ’ s what I deserve, since it all started as a deal. I looked at Mila and viewed her as nothing more than a pawn. Slowly, she made her own moves, then reached the other side of the board and changed. She was no longer a pawn, but now a queen I just dethroned.
Cassandra reaches for my hand again, as if I ’ d ever be willing to kiss someone like her. She tastes like ashes, suffocating and chalky, like an empty void compared to Mila.
Once we break from the forest line, I can be free from this bitch. I whirl around, “ Don ’ t. Fucking. Touch me.” I sneer at Casandra. Most women would shrink away, but she only smiles and purrs.
If Cillian is correct, this is our last night here, so there is no need to keep up the act with Casandra. She reaches for me again. I grasp her wrist. “ Touch me again and I ’ ll take everything from your family.” I lean closer, painting on a menacing face, “ Try me.”
Her eyes judge me, and then she takes a step back. “ You still want her,” she spits. “She’s…nothing.”
“ Says a woman who has no self-value or worth.” I hiss, turning on my heels, not caring to entertain her longer.I leave her and walk along the forest to where Cillian told me to meet him. I spot him and Dante, and the worry etched on Dante ’ s face finally makes me feel something again.
If killing in The Cleansing was an audition, then what did the three of us audition for?
“ Do we stick together or split up?” Cillian asks us both, but before he answers, people step out from the tree line so seamlessly we almost miss it.
“ We love a chase; by all means, run, boy.” A deep voice chuckles darkly. He ’ s not one of the cloaked men who oversaw The Cleansing. Sure, he ’ s wearing all-black, military-grade gear, but if you look close enough, you can make out some of the features of his hardened face.
Dante steps forward in front of Cillian and me.
Instead of fear, I feel a massive sense of relief. Thank God I listened to Cillian and pushed Mila far away. She would have clung to my side and then tried to fight when they took us. She would have been just another casualty.
“ Bravery will get you nowhere.” Another guy snickers at Dante.
Cillian and I step up, creating a wall.
“ It ’ s so cute to see them think they stand a chance, but it ’ s even funnier to watch their reactions when one of them dies.”
“ Another King.” The man to my left sighs. “ I hope he ’ s more fun to catch than the last two.”
I lean forward, ready to rip his head off, but Dante edges closer to me, causing me to hold my ground. He’s referring to my cousins, Titan and Damian. Both of them have been practically radio silent since my dad put me in this school.
“ Shit,” another man emerges from the darkness closer to Cillian, “ You look just like him. I wonder if you ’ ll beg for death just like he did.”
I know Cillian had an older brother who died and I know where we are going next is what killed him.
“ My bet is yes.”The man replies; it ’ s too dark to see his face, but I know his grin is stretching from ear to ear.
Cillian lunges, his eyes locking on the man; every muscle in his body flexes with a raw fury. I can ’ t say I blame him.
He fell for the bait. They wanted a fight, so let ’ s give them one.
Cillian ’ s movements are quick. Everyone underestimates him, thinking he moves slowly due to his size. He manages to grab the man ’ s shoulder, dragging him closer. His arm swings back to land a deadly punch, but then before Cillian can touch the man, two shadows repel down from the trees, grabbing Cillian. He tries his best to jerk them off but more men attack. It looks like one of those documentaries where smaller animals manage to take down a lion.
Dante rushes toward Cillian, but before he can take his third step, three men pounce on him, trapping him against the base of the closest tree. The branches shake from the impact.
I barely have time to react before I ’ m slammed from behind. My breath is robbed from my lungs as the ground rushes up to meet me. The cold earth presses into my face. My muscles scream, already battered and burning, every inch of me on fire from the hit. I taste blood and dirt gritting between my teeth, but the weight pinning me down is relentless, choking the air from my lungs.
“ What kind of king doesn ’ t even put up a fight?” The man on me spits in my face as he shoves my cheek so hard into the dirt I won ’ t ever be able to clean it from my pores.
“ A wise one,” I sneer as I twist and jerk, but it ’ s useless, so I stop. This is just the beginning. The real fight is in the far distance. If I want to survive, I need to learn about my new surroundings.
“ Maybe you ’ re not my enemy.”
“ You ’ re right. I ’ m not; an enemy would just kill you; I ’ m something far, far worse. I ’ m going to break you; then reshape you.” He says with a sadistic hint of pride.
I feel something hard and tight lock my wrists together. It ’ s a struggle not to panic, so I try to taunt him in hopes it pisses him off enough to give me more clues. “ Taking a page from my playbook. How original.” I sneer.
“ Oh, he ’ s going to be fun.”
“ Your cousins didn ’ t talk as much at first.” He digs his knees into my spine. “ But then I made them.” He snickers. “ I can always make them talk. Some even sing for me.”
“ I ’ m no tenor.” I joke.
The crushing weight vanishes as I ’ m yanked to my feet. Overhead, the deafening roar of rotor blades tears through the air, making the trees tremble. A helicopter hovers above, slowly descending, and thick ropes are thrown down.My captor grips me lightly, almost taunting me to try to make a run for it, as his partner secures a harness to the rope.
“ Fight me, and I ’ ll drop you without hesitation,” he growls in my ear.
Suddenly, I ’ m jerked upward. My feet leave the ground, the world tilting as we ascend. I ’ m helpless, hands bound, dangling in the air with nothing beneath me. My heart pounds in my chest—yeah, I ’ m scared, defenseless as we ’ re pulled higher toward the chopper. I ’ m at the mercy of this stranger holding me, hoping he doesn ’ t drop me to my death.
A pair of rough hands seize me as we ’ re dragged inside. Dante and Cillian are hauled up next and shoved into the back corner. The space is massive, cold, and metallic—no doubt, this is a military-grade helicopter. The sound of the rotors fills the cabin, vibrating through every bone in my body as we huddle together, trapped.
Cillian’s body lands with a hard thud, unmoving.
“ He ’ s still alive for now.” The man laughs, then signals to the pilot.
The helicopter lurches forward. I land on Cillian ’ s side, struggling to right myself since my hands are tied. I scan Cillian, looking for injuries, but besides some bruises and perhaps a newly broken nose, he seems as okay as one can be in our situation.
Five men stand in front of us, each clad in black tactical gear—military-grade uniforms, helmets, and rifles slung across their chests. Their faces are smeared with the darkest black camouflage I ’ ve ever seen, blending into the shadows as if they were born from them.
“ Welcome to Initiation 101,” the leader crosses his arms. “ where you will die as boys, and if you ’ re lucky enough, you ’ ll emerge as men.”
I part my lips, a snide remark on the tip of my tongue. My eyes collide with Dante, and that ’ s when we both lose the ability to speak.
Initiation 101.
Of course, we know about it. To be honest, I thought it was just a made-up story, like some boogeyman used as a scare tactic.
Cillian had a right to be worried. No wonder his brother died. As a matter of fact, all the stories I ’ ve heard about Initiation 101 end in a cruel death.I ’ m not talking about a bullet to the head; it ’ s torture, exposed bones, rotting flesh, and pain so intense you can ’ t scream because you bit off your tongue to try and smother your cries.
My dad had a guard who survived Initiation 101; the guy was…off. I can’t describe it; he was silent, and his eyes were so dead they needed their own definition to describe them.
Initiation 101 is a boot camp that kills most, but if you survive, rumor has it, it churns out, not just killers; that ’ s too simple of a term. Machines, emotionless monsters who kill for pleasure.
I was wrong.
It wasn ’ t just me who died tonight, but Dante and Cillian as well. None of us will ever be the same again.
I close my eyes, leaning my head against the cold metal walls of the helicopter. The surrounding rumbling dulls out what the man says next as it beats against my head.
Mila, thank you for showing me what heaven tasted like.
I never deserved it.
I was just a demon who was given a moment of freedom.
Now it ’ s all gone. I ’ m being dragged down to a place I deserve to be in. A place even a fallen angel like you couldn ’ t survive.