Chapter 2
Dash
One year later.
18 years old.
I inhale fast and deep, hoping the sound is louder than the high-pitched buzzing in my ears. Nope, the buzzing wins; I seal my eyes shut, feeling hot tears slip out from my lashes. The sound grows louder, drowning out every other sensation.
But then it hits me. Yuck! The acrid taste of fire and ash invades my mouth, searing my throat. I roll my tongue, but my mouth is bone dry, making the flavors press into my taste buds the way water seeps into a parched river rock.
An image of Mila, of her lips on mine, flashes in my mind. Focus on that! On her delicious taste, her silky lips moaning into my mouth; Don't panic!
Mila has been my escape countless times as I face death.
I cough, sputtering, my chest tightening painfully. Shit! My hands scramble frantically for my mask, fingers trembling as they fumble over the rubble filled ground.
You have seconds before the gas knocks you out!
When I fell from the blast, I landed hard on my side, knocking my mask to the side of my face.
There! I grab it and place it over my mouth. I push the clear button and feel a rush of clean air push through the vents as I tug on the straps, ensuring it forms a tight seal to my face.
I crouch even lower, fighting to steady my breathing, my lungs burning. I cough, desperate to get rid of the taste of death, the metallic tang of smoke and blood.
This is just another dangerous tango—one I ’ ve danced again and again since arriving at Initiation 101. Always teetering on the verge of death, clawing for those fleeting moments where I can still taste life.
The buzzing remains, but I ’ ve regained control of my body after the blast. I scan my surroundings quickly. The building we were using as cover is now nothing more than destroyed walls of concrete. We never stood a chance hiding. Our enemies knew we were here.
That ’ s the point, to watch my team grovel and try to fight their way out.
Damian seizes my bulletproof vest, hoisting me to my feet as the ground beneath us slips with newly formed burning debris. Titan swiftly advances, positioning himself in front of Damian and me, his gun raised and aimed high. His finger tightens on the trigger, and I follow the trajectory of the red laser to its target, watching as it hits the weakness in our armor.
The target jerks from the impact. It serves as a stark reminder that what unfolds here, though it ’ s a game, it also is real in every sense. That bullet was real, as was the target who is our enemy, or should I say, a classmate.
“ Dash, you good?” Titan ’ s voice comes through our comms, but it sounds distant.
Damian positions himself in front of me, providing protection until I can reassure them. I reach for my gun, grabbing it like a lifeline. “ Good.” I nod. In my new life, 'good' means I ’ m barely surviving—just holding on. My hands still grasp at life, my nails digging into my beating heart, praying it won ’ t fail me as I cling to something, anything, that can give me hope.
Titan risks looking over his shoulder, meeting my eyes to make sure. I dip my chin, easing his fears.
The day Dante, Cillian and I arrived at Initiation 101, so did my cousins Titan and Damian, along with two other men I now call brothers, Anders and Leo. The seven of us formed a new family, not by choice at first. I lacked familiarity with Anders or Leo, and my trust in Anders is still uncertain. He makes me look angelic.
I look from left to right. Where is that fucker, anyway?
I spot Anders crouched down over… Shit! No! Anders is hovering over Cillian ’ s large body. The big bastard is unmoving, a huge slab of concrete lays on top of Cillian, and to make matters worst, the exposed wires spark, setting a line of fire rushing towards Cillian and Anders.
“ Cillian!” I choke.
“ Dash and Anders, get Cillian ready to be moved. We have to get through the treeline or we ’ re all dead.” Dante orders. “ Titan, you're with me. We stick to the plan and clear the path.”
Titan nods.
“ I got your six,” Damian agrees.
“ Me too,” Leo grunts, his thick Russian accent haunting my ears as my hearing comes rushing back, the crumbling sound of cement cracking under the fire along with explosions and gunfire surround us.
I rush towards Anders.
“ It ’ s too heavy,” he whispers, adjusting his hold on the destroyed wall trying to bury Cillian alive. It ’ s the first time I have sensed worry in Anders's voice.
A weight settles in my gut. I crouch down, adrenaline flooding my body as I grab the jagged edges. “ One, two, lift!” Anders and I say in sync.
The cement wall groans, but we only manage to lift it a solid three inches. Fuck! No, I won ’ t lose Cillian!
“ Damian!” I shout through the comms as the gunfire escalates and approaches closer to our location. The fire spreads as Damian rushes to our aid. We have no choice but to watch it start to touch Cillian ’ s flesh. If we don ’ t get this wall off of him, it will consume him entirely.
The smoke grows so thick I can’t see where my hands grip the wall. If it wasn’t for our mask we’d all be dead. Our muscles are fueled by dread and fury as the three of us lift.
There! Just enough room to slip a hand inside and grab a hold of Cillian.
Anders seizes the chance sliding Cillian out from under the wall and rolls him to safety. I frantically tried to extinguish the flames covering Cillian’s clothes with my hands, feeling the burning heat begin to melt my gloves. Once Cillian is safe from the fire, my eyes take in the freshly burnt skin on his side.
“ He ’ ll live.” Damian says confidently. He always says that as if it ’ s a promise he ’ s forcing us all to believe.
It ’ s been one year in this hell on earth. Fourteen teams remain out of the original twenty that started. We were told some years only one team survives graduation.
Anders grabs Cillian ’ s arm, Damian returns to cover our six. I grab Cillian ’ s other arm; my knees tremble as I strain to hold his weight.There is such a thing as too much muscle. He ’ s a fucking oaf!
“ Ready.” Anders confirms.
“ Let ’ s go!” Dante orders.
Dante, Titan, and Damian fire their weapons as we make our way to the woods. We already wired the trees with explosives, ensuring our classmates can ’ t get clear shots.
Damian quickly heads for the pilot seat as we reach the chopper. Anders joins him after we get Cillian inside. Since our arrival, Damian—already skilled in flying planes—now trains alongside Anders to pilot both planes and helicopters. The ultimate challenge occurred when our commanding officer parachuted out of the plane, leaving Anders and Damian to either land us safely or let us crash and burn.
With the engines revving, Titan leans out of the chopper, keeping a watchful eye on the surroundings and ready to open fire if required. Dante quickly goes to Cillian ’ s side while grabbing equipment. He ’ s been trained as our resident doctor.
Our individual roles come together to create a lethal force. The challenge is that every other group of students here is equipped with the same tools. We ’ re all fighting against each other. It ’ s like Silverstone Preparatory on steroids. Cillian was right when he said The Cleansing was an audition. This is the role we all have to play now.
◆◆◆
Almost two years later.
I have a birthday approaching in a few days, but I ’ m uncertain if I ’ ll still be around to see twenty candles on the cake in my imagination.
I almost died today.
It was so peaceful. Like floating endlessly in calm, warm waters as I cloud gaze.
Near death is the only time I see Mila. My mind is filled with the fleeting presence of my little fox teasing my senses.
Fuck! I wish they didn ’ t rescue me, but then again, living is the only way I ’ ll truly get to touch her again.
◆◆◆
Three months later.
I wonder what Mila is doing right now?
She ’ s in college, although I ’ m not sure which college; I think she should be in her junior year. Time is a hard thing to grasp when each day is repetitive torture.
We receive no news from the outside world or communication from our families. It ’ s like we ’ re living in a void of death. We ’ re down to six other teams we fight against now. The uncertainty surrounding graduation has us completely in the dark, unsure if it ’ s next week or in the next five years.
One of the teams tried to escape last night. I suppose their lack of knowledge finally wore them out. Our instructors didn ’ t shoot them dead.
That would be too kind.
They transformed them into a lesson on torture instead. If we reacted or got sick, our teachers said they would strap us on the table as their replacements.
Anders looked like he enjoyed it. Shit, I ’ m shocked he didn ’ t raise a hand and volunteer to start cutting them up. He ’ s definably the most batshit crazy in my newly formed family.
That ’ s what these guys are to me. My brothers.
I rub my eyes as I clean my gun, the scent of the oil coats my fingertips. I ’ ve been trained as the sniper in our group. But unlike the real world, where a sniper works with a partner, I ’ m forced to work alone. I like the role because it allows me time to be alone, hidden with just me, my gun, my target, my thoughts, and, of course, Mila.
She ’ s always in the forefront of my mind.
“ I didn ’ t sleep, either,” Leo whispers as he takes a seat next to me. He sets his gun down and begins to disassemble it.
I laid in bed and closed my eyes, but all I heard were the cries of the guys who used to sit in the cafeteria with us.
Will I cry like them as I’m dying?
As I look up, I see Leo with a fresh black eye on his face. He and Anders are always arguing, but everything changes once we step onto the battlefield. Watching them work together is a bizarre sight; they ’ re so in sync that they don ’ t need words. But inside the school, I worry they ’ ll suffocate each other.
“ Just ignore Anders,” I suggest.
“ Not when he mentions my sister.”
“ He asked what you thought she was doing.” I roll my eyes. We ask silly questions to ourselves, clinging onto false hopes, unsure if our families are alive or dead. Anders like’s to pester Leo about his sister.
“ Her name shouldn ’ t be on his tongue.”
“ What did they fuck or something?”
With a growl, Leo ’ s fist tightens around his weapon. “ Or something,” he quietly hisses.
We work in silence, the tiredness from not sleeping weighs down on my eyelids. “ Anders slept,” I remark. “ He can always fall asleep.”
What ’ s his trick?
“ At first,” Leo nods.
“ True.” No matter the hell we see, Anders always falls asleep with no problem. It ’ s late at night when his demons wake him. Mine keep me from sleep, so yeah, I ’ m jealous he gets a few hours of shut-eye.
I ’ ve grown numb to Anders’s screams. We all have. Dante and Titan try to confront him, but that ’ s like hugging the tip of a blade. Anders is hurt, and sharp objects like to cut others.
Despite everything, I have a feeling that Anders secretly watches us when he believes we ’ re not looking. His soulless eyes have a sense of relief when we ’ re united. I think Anders likes the idea of having a family since his was so fucked up. It ’ s taken him time to trust us; heck, it ’ s taken me more time to trust him. The man sleeps with a small hand ax under his pillow.
But he ’ s killed to keep me alive. We all have done the same.
A laugh escapes me.
“ What?” Leo questions.
“ Wow, I just remembered the first guy I killed with my bare hands.” Jared. He seems like a lifetime ago. I ’ ve lost count of how many they have forced me to kill now.
“ We always remember the first time we dived into the ocean, and then everything else just becomes murky waters. Some nights, the memories are choppy and restless; other nights, it ’ s calm, and I remember not one single detail.”
I nod. I feel the same. “ You know, I ’ ve never had time to consider how Jared did it, how he could get so close to Mila.” I was to busy trying to stay alive to even think.
“ Jared is the dancer you killed in The Cleansing?” Leo asks. He ’ s been told the story, but that was shortly after we arrived.
“ Yeah,” I mumble as I run my thumb over the side of my gun.
“ The scholarship kid?”
I nod.
“ Must have been a smart and skilled kid to get as close to Mila as he did.”
“ Must have,” I whisper. Perhaps... I shake my head, “ I think it ’ s too much luck. He had to survive alone, dance, and train. Fight good enough to hold his ground with me.” Sure, back then, I wasn ’ t nearly as good as a killer as I am now. “ It ’ s just…” I run my tongue over my teeth. Jared knew details about Mila ’ s life that took commitment.
How did he find the time to do everything?
“ Yeah. It ’ s odd.” Leo agrees. “ Good thing he ’ s dead.”
I nod slowly, “ Good thing.”
Then I remember what Jared told me, “ Do you know your father arranged your marriage to Mila when you were only six years old?” He lets out a whistle. “My dad told me one evening. I haven’t told anyone that, not even him .” He sneers.
Who was Jared referring to?
I ’ ve tried not to think about it because no matter how many nights it keeps me awake, I can do absolute nothing about it. I can’t get out of here or get word to someone on the outside. I just have to stay alive long enough to graduate, then I can start to dig further.
“ You got a look in your eyes,” Leo notes.
I swallow, “ I can ’ t help but feel like my entire life, I ’ ve been eating the breadcrumbs someone’s dropping, and I ’ m wondering if something else or, rather, someone else did the same to Jared.”
“ Why?”
“ I don ’ t know,” I reply, but as soon as I leave here, I ’ ll find out.
◆◆◆
Nine months later.
A blood-curdling scream rips through my lungs, burning the very cells of my throat. I jerk and coil my body, swatting at the pain in a futile effort. Hands grab me, holding me down.
“ He has to get the bullet out, Dash!” Titan says in my ear. He holds my face in his hands, preventing my struggle. Despite knowing it was an ambush, we had no other option but to divide and battle until our assailants were defeated.
“ Stop fighting. Please, brother.” Damian adds, his voice full of alarm.
The individual who shot me was good, one of the best. I exposed my location by taking a shot to protect Anders, who foolishly approached the enemies with just his stupid ax.
That clinically insane fucker!
So, guess who had to save him? Me.
Which allowed the guy below me to see my position and fire hitting me in the stomach. To make matters worse, I was thirty feet up in a tree. The bullet hit me, causing me to fall all the way down; only the branches caught me.
Thanks, Mother Nature. Not!
Then I had to fight hand to hand until Anders showed up and ended the guy with his ax.
Bloody fucking Anders and his bloodlust!
I see where Anders is looking and scream once more. My armor has been ripped off; only the moonlight highlights the horror as Anders jabs his index finger into my ripped flesh, spinning it around like he ’ s trying to stir my intestines into soup.
“ He has to get the bullet out!” Dante stresses. Leo hovers over him, his gun raised high, protecting us.
The latest game had us dropped off on a half-frozen mountain as the last five teams hunted us down. Our objective is to navigate through all the dangerous obstacles. We ’ ve been surviving off the land for a week, struggling to witness each sunrise that never warms us.
We ’ re so close yet…
I roar again as Anders shoves his finger deeper. “ I feel it.” He grins.
My vision blurs, seeing the stars twinkle above me. Those flickering lights turn into the sparkle of Mila ’ s eyes when she comes. Heaven. Ecstasy.
I hate that it ’ s always her I see. In a world devoid of hope, she serves as a constant reminder.
I wish I could forget her.
Has she forgotten me?
Titan slaps my face, “ Stay with us.” He orders me.
“ Fuck you!” I seethe, but Damian shoves a branch between my teeth as Anders grabs his knife and lowers it to the gunshot wound.
Anders meets my gaze; his eyes almost seem to relish in the blood coating his fingers. “ Bite down, baby, I need to cut it bigger so I can fit,” he chuckles my way, then he forces the bullet hole wider, allowing his knife to slip inside my body as he tries to dig under the bullet to leverage it out.
“ Come to Daddy,” Anders says as he wiggles around my insides, forcing the bullet up like he’s flipping a pancake that is stuck to the pan. He pulls the knife out, then grabs the bullet, holding it high with a smile. “ Gotcha.” He purrs as my blood coats his hand.
He looks at me and tosses the bullet to my chest. “ You ’ re welcome, brother.”
“ I ’ ll shoot you with it someday,” I spit.
Leo chuckles.
Anders grabs his ax. “ And I ’ ll put this inside of you.” He ’ s serious. In a supposedly friendly fight, he stabbed Titan with his ax once. As I mentioned, Anders is the least stable individual in our family.
Dante replaces him, a flame in hand. “ I have to cauterize the wound.”
“ Promise me,” I declare out loud to all my brothers as I wait for their replies. I made them all promise me that if something happened to me, they would make sure Mila was safe. I made a commitment to ensure the safety of their loved ones, too.
“ You ’ re not dying today.” Leo assures me.
“ Not ever,” Damian adds, his jaw set in stone.
“ Not unless I ’ m the one who gets to kill you,” Anders chimes as he secures his ax to his side.
Titan and Dante don ’ t reply. They are the most forthcoming, and the likelihood we all survive is slim.
“ Promise me.” I hiss as my adrenaline starts to wear off. More pain floods my body.
“ We ’ ll keep her safe,” Dante whispers.
Titan nods.
I close my eyes, readying myself for more suffering. That ’ s all I feel now. Only levels of pain; even when I see Mila because I know in reality she isn ’ t here; her face is just a terrifying memory of a ghost that haunts my mind.