Chapter 14
Mila
I feel like a bookmark trapped between pages, begging for a new chapter to be read. Titan and Damian walk with me carefully tucked in the middle of them as we cross the campus to my first class, which they insist on walking me to.
“ He ’ s going to see,” I mutter, eyes scanning the campus for Dash.
“ I know,” Titan smirks.
“ What if he doesn ’ t forgive you?” Dash will be furious Titan and Damian are doing this.
“ Dash is stuck with us just the same as he ’ s bound to you in that contract. He has to get over it and move on.”
Eyes turn, and men look in wonder and apprehension at the new Kings on campus. Women forget to control the muscles of their jaws. Most pant, tongues drool, and then they look at me with such vicious hatred that I don ’ t want to be associated with them. Men can be cruel, but women are ruthless.
“ If anyone bothers you, just tell us,” Damian orders.
“ I don ’ t want blood on my hands.” I ’ ve said that before, but I wish I hadn ’ t. I think about my old dance instructor and Jared and how my lack of strength and confidence resulted in their deaths. Maybe if I had acted differently the outcome would be vastly better?
“ That ’ s why you ’ ll tell us,” Titan playfully replies.
“ Here.” Damian thrust a phone into the palm of my hand.
“ How…” That ’ s the phone Dante gave me, which I had tucked away in my dresser. “ You searched my room.” I accuse him.
When?
“ Always keep it on you. I added our numbers to it. Just call if you need us.” He replies, ignoring my statement.
“ Is this a friendship, or are you a jailer?”
Titan exhales thickly. “ Fine. We ’ ll ask next time. We do want you to see us as your friends, and,” his smile widens like an angel selling me a ticket to heaven, “ as older brothers who are annoying, protective, invade your space, but it ’ s all out of love.”
I roll my eyes but slip the phone into my pocket. I want to be mad, but I also just want to be loved, whether it be by a friend or lover. The idea of not suffering Dash ’ s wrath alone has me holding onto the hope these two men are forcing me to fight for.
“ What was it like?” I whisper, worried about their replies.
Damian looks away, but Titan ’ s eyes find mine. “ Hell was kinder, so give Dash time. They stole a part of us, Mila. Ripped our souls from our bones. Made us wailing shells they force a demon inside of. We killed in order to survive. We had no choice. We’re trying to assimilate back into society, but it’s not the same as it was before.”
“ I know Dash only survived so he could see you again,” Damian adds slowly so the wind can carry it to my ears.
That makes me feel worse. “ I didn ’ t love Dom. I…I mean, Dom is my friend, so I trusted him.” Damian and Titan glance at each other. “ I had this hole inside of me that he filled.”
Titan glares at me.
“ I didn ’ t mean that sexually.”I sigh as I purposefully scuff my shoe on the sidewalk.
Damian slaps Titan ’ s chest. “ We know what you mean, Mila.”
I lick my lips, feeling the need to confess this. “ Things just grew between Dom and I. To be honest, I didn ’ t want to sleep with him, but I just hated everything, and I knew if I slept with him, I ’ d hate myself more, and that seemed easier than trying to fix myself. I missed Dash,” I shake my head, “ and I was so mad at him for leaving with the other girl. I thought I could erase him with another guy, but instead, it only made the memories in my mind more vivid. It was wrong of me to play with Dom ’ s emotions. He was my friend, and I blurred the lines, ruining what we had.”
“ We all make mistakes.” Titan swings his arm over my shoulder. “ It ’ s the ones we choose to forgive that define us.”
“ How do you know which ones to forgive?”
“ They are usually the ones that pester you the most.”
We almost reach my building when Damian speaks again: “ You have five hours free in your schedule since you stopped ballet. What are you planning to do during that time?”
Free. Is time alone in a cage still called freedom?
I shrug as I swing my art bag over my shoulder. I can ’ t wait to get to my canvas so I can just stop thinking. It ’ s the only time I can shut down and free a part of myself that is too scared to shine daily.
“ How about you train with me?” Damian suggests, locking his gaze as if he ’ s worried a predator will jump out and steal me.
“ What?”
“ Train. Learn to defend yourself. Stand your ground.”
I glance at Titan, who chuckles, “ Scared to break a nail?”
“ No,” I press my lips together. “ I…”
Feet stomp with such a fury behind us that I feel like they have tilted the earth, causing me to slip into its path. “ Trying to get another King in your bed, Mila!” Dash sneers, his eyes glued to Titan ’ s arm slung over my shoulder.
A few students pass and watch with wide, hungry eyes. Dash ’ s anger is strong enough to seeps through the walls and grab attention. Curtains in the classrooms are pushed back to view us.
I didn ’ t think his insults could inflict more pain. They do.
Damian wastes no time turning to punch Dash right in the jaw. I scream and gasp, feet rushing forward, wanting to rush to his side. It ’ s as if I ’ m thrusted back to the night of the Cleansing and Dante was holding me back. I hear the memory of the students shouting burn my ears. Jared ’ s face clouds my mind, and then his final resting place where Dom buried him.
Dash spits, but Damian grabs him by the collar. “ I don ’ t care how much you hate her; she ’ s going to be your wife, and you will respect her.” Titan steps away and threatens the crowd, which disperses.
Damian pushes Dash back, “ Grow the fuck up. You made her think you were cheating on her because we all thought we ’ d die in that pit of hell.” Damian hits his chest, “ We didn ’ t die. Own your mistakes and ask her to forgive you.”
Hateful eyes look at me with a promise of vengeance. “ I don ’ t want forgiveness. I want her nothings.” Dash ’ s jaw grinds firmly, like coal under pressure, forming a black diamond.
Damian ’ s brow tugs up in underhanded confidence. “ What did you want last night then, because sneaking into her bedroom is not nothing?”
Dash ’ s eyes slice toward me in a silent promise of revenge. He wanted to keep that nightly visit a secret.“So that ’ s your line in the sand.” Dash snaps at Damian. “ You really are choosing her over me,” he spits.
“ She is you!” Damian roars. “ She ’ s your heart. When will you realize it?”
Dash ’ s pale complexion blooms red in shades of embarrassment, contempt, and, worst of all, truth. He still loves me, but it ’ s mixed with more loathing than it ever was before. “ When will you realize that we don ’ t all need a heart to live!” He seethes, eyes avoiding mine as he storms off.
“ Well, that went well.” Titan chimes in.
My knees tremble so badly Titan comes to my side and tucks me under his arm. I watch Damian, who keeps his back to us until he has regained control.
“ It ’ s going to get worse,” he warns me, “ but Damian and I will be here for you.”
Who will be there for Dash? Some other woman?