Chapter 15
Dash
I was…happy Mila wasn ’ t alone to suffer my wrath.
What did that make me?
When I spotted her flanked by Titan and Damian, a part of me relaxed, curled inside my grotesque body, and sighed. The dark seeds inside of me took root. Memories of the first time I looked at her came rushing back. She succumbed easily to me after a few nudges, stolen kisses, and sharp glares. She fell in love with me as smoothly as a jellyfish is forced to go with the current. They acknowledge their fate because they are incapable of challenging it.
And here I was, the shark schooling her, teaching her how to bend and flow from within the current that ambushed her.
That brought me joy, yet I also felt repulsed. I wanted to thicken her skin, make her tough enough to withstand my world.
She did it all again last night. Fell into my current with ease.
Craved me. Begged.
I wanted to give in. I spent the whole night with my hand wrapped around my throbbing cock only to be left wanting.
I wanted her rebuttal because without it, without her telling me to stop and to leave, I knew I could not resist her.
I ’ m fucked.
I close my eyes, feeling the throbbing in my head intensify.
Would she fall for my cousins like she did me? Would they see the dark truths she hid?
Knowing them, they would try to fix her like I did, only they would be kinder and not watch her shatter.
I can’t stop the hate that burns through my pores; it seeps out of me like a toxin that affects everyone around me.
Hopeless romantic fools. Every single one of them.
I understand Anders now. He ’ d never loved another; how could he after what he suffered? No amount of love can break determination.
Whispers become silent as the door creaks open. It feels like I ’ m back in nature with my sniper rifle, where one move, the smallest sound, causes the crickets to stop their melodies, acting as a perfect alarm for a nearby predator.
I miss those days at Initiation 101, which means I ’ m really fucked in the head for missing that. I miss the solitude of the field, the barracks, and the focused missions I had to complete. I feel entirely exposed now that I ’ m back in my life and at university, causing me to be very, very dangerous.
All the students and the professor shift their focus to the door. Titan and Damian walk in, acknowledge the professor, and ascend the stairs of the lecture hall just as I sit down. Going to school and earning a degree feels pointless when we will be handed empires so very soon. I can’t shake the feeling that our fathers might be up to something else.
One guy looks at Damian too long, his eyes wide with wonder and shock, as if my cousin is an extinct creature, a bloody freaking dragon that just landed in the classroom. Damian ’ s glare prompts him to abruptly stand up and move five rows away.
Having people fear you so easily is a wonderful added benefit of surviving Initiation 101. Unlike my time at Silverstone Preparatory, where other guys hungered to challenge me in The Cleansing, here at Empire University, people know better. Their main goals are to survive, receive their inheritances, and earn our favor.
Damian bypasses me and settles into the desk behind me, always watching my back like an annoying tick. “ I should have hit you harder.” He grumbles.
I roll my eyes.
As the professor dims the lights and begins class, Titan comes over to my side. “ That was harsh, even for you.” He mutters in disappointment.
“ Keep annoying me and see how much harsher I can be.” I huff.
“ We ’ re not your enemies.”
“ If choosing Mila is you being my friend, then you need another lesson in friendship.”
“ Maybe you need to re-examine yours. I know what you feel, brother. If I could go back and have one second just to see Elsa again, I would do anything. You ’ re making a mistake. Imagine a world without Mila.”
I want to rip his tongue out! I narrow my eyes. “ Lucky for her, she ’ s trapped in my world. I ’ ll be her judge and jury whether you and Damian agree or not.”
With a twitch in his eyes, Titan responds, “ Dash, you don ’ t even believe that. You ’ ll do everything in your power to hurt her, I can see it, but one day you ’ re going to look back and realize what a huge fucking mistake it was.” He edges forward, mouth seething, “ You ’ re going to wish you were holding her tight instead of grasping at the empty coldness between your arms.”
“ Just because you fucked up and got your girl killed doesn ’ t mean I have to feel the same.” I bite, instantly closing my eyes, regretting that. I wait for another punch; maybe he ’ ll even stab me. I deserve it.
I remember what Titan became after he lost Elsa. I ’ ve never seen the same boy since. He vanished in his misery and guilt. It was like his mind was a chandelier that snapped, fell, and shattered, breaking into a million pieces. Damian and I had to collect every component, every broken shard and put him back together. Then, we had to hang him back up and teach him how to shine again.
Now his light is trying to blind me.
The lecture begins, but all I can hear are the questions haunting my mind. “ What did Mila tell you?” I whisper. Did she tell them lies to bend their heartstrings or purge the nasty truth from her vile lips?
“ Talk to her and find out,” Titan retorts. “ If you belittle my past with Elsa again,” he stares directly into my eyes, “ I will become your adversary, brother.”
I lower my chin slightly. “ Stop pushing Mila on me then.”
“ I didn ’ t put a gun to your head and force you to break into her dorm. You did that.” Titan responds.
“ You haven ’ t seen pushing,” Damian adds, having snuck closer to my ear.
Time slows to a trickle of water that feels like it ’ s dripping right into my eye. Pain. Irritation.
Fuck it.
Standing, I storm from the lecture hall and make my way to the art building. With each step around the corner, my heart pounds with a blend of rage and nerves. The skin I used to cleanse in the shower was no longer mine. She shared it with another.
Yes, I made her think our relationship was a game. Part of it was.
Why couldn ’ t she see that? She was so hardheaded except when it came to seeing the truth.
I spot her art building and hate it; it looks clean, happy, and pristine. It ’ s fake; no artist with their paints is spotless; it ’ s the grimy details that make a painting exciting. I shove open the doors, but the glass doesn ’ t rattle because it ’ s bulletproof like the rest of this school. The buildings are shells designed to keep us safe and trapped.
The scent of inks and paints has my nostrils flaring. Mom ’ s studio used to have a similar scent; she painted with oils, causing the scent of linseed to be a keynote in my childhood memories. I turn the hall, almost reaching the corner I need to turn, but then, as the scent intensifies, I hesitate. My feet feel too heavy to move.
If Mom saw me now…
I ’ m a copy and paste of my father before he met my mother.
My head hangs; there ’ s no fight, no begging, as I imagine King Louis XVI would have cried out for a second chance; he would have fought when his head was pressed down on the stained wooden block.
I accept my fate and my actions. Nature and nurture were both deadly wombs I festered in.
Unlike old King Louis XVI, I don ’ t want Mila to suffer a fate like Marie Antoinette did. No matter how much I hate her for her selfish actions, I don ’ t want her dead. I ’ m about to turn around when I hear a door open and shut; then whispers begin to reach my ears.
I lean closer to the corner when I hear, “ Please,” a soft, gentle begging that belongs to Mila. Now, my feet are as light as a feather as I float them down the hall and turn the corner. There she is, my little fox, escaping her class. It ’ s naughty of her to run wild on this campus.
Everything stops when I see she isn ’ t alone. My veins calcify; with one touch, I ’ ll crack into a million sharp shards.
Dom, the man she fucked, is grasping her forearms in what looks like an attempted embrace. Their proximity is so intimate that his breath is pushed into her throat with each exhale.
Nausea rolls up my throat, and I see red, but also black and white as they look into each other ’ s eyes.
As I come to a sudden halt, they both pivot to face me. I snort in disgust just as Dom stands tall with a wicked grin. I look at her and see her shock.
“ Dash, this isn ’ t,”
“ This isn ’ t you running into his arms because I hurt you.” I spew. She ’ s so predictable, always running to the next thing that numbs her.
Mila looks at Dom for defense, but he just grins wider, “ Dom!” She shakes her head and comes forward, “ Dash, please. We ’ re just talking. It ’ s not,”
Turning, I swiftly force down my mistake. That would be the last time I begged her for answers. Now she ’ s just got my bleak, buried fury. “ You ’ re nothing to me. Always were. Have fun with her, Dom. She likes to shower together. You should try it.”
The crack of her cry is the last thing I hear, and it pierces my heart more painfully than the bullets ever felt.