Chapter Twelve
“You’re staring,” I say, my eyes remaining on the book open on the table in front of me. I don’t know how to explain it, but when Kai looks at me, I can feel it. Like the sun peeking out from behind a cloud, warming my skin.
“If you were sitting across from you, you’d be staring too.” He chuckles, his smirk the first thing I see when I finally glance up.
“Thank you, I think.” I crinkle my nose at him playfully. “You should really keep your eyes on your work, though. Otherwise, I’m going to feel really guilty when you fail a class and don’t get into your master’s program.”
Imagine my surprise when he told me he wasn’t planning on leaving UVA after graduation but that he would be staying for two additional years to get his master’s degree. Not that I expect this will still be going on come that time, not that I even fully understand what this is.
It started as something so primal. I just knew I wanted him, and I didn’t care how or why. But it has since morphed into something I never would have expected—a real relationship. Though we have no commitment to each other, outside of not sleeping with other people, and he hasn’t even so much as told me he likes me, something I’m all too aware of, but we act like a real couple.
We have dinner together. We hang out. We have mind-blowing sex. We sleep tangled in each other’s arms. He kisses me every time I leave. Holds my hand when we’re walking on campus together. Everything about the way he is with me feels real, except deep down I know it isn’t. He told me as much in the beginning. Then again, in the beginning, this really did just feel like sex. But now... Now it feels like a hell of a lot more.
It terrifies me more than I can say, knowing he might end this at any moment, especially now that my heart is involved. I’ve always known I’m not the kind of girl who can have a sexual relationship with someone and not grow attached, but I was so desperate to numb the pain that I carried around like a boulder in my stomach that I didn’t care at the time.
I’m starting to realize what a mistake that was. But I also know there’s nothing I can do about it now. I can’t change the way I feel any more than I can make myself walk away from it, even knowing the heartache that faces me when this all comes to an end.
“I haven’t failed a class in my entire life. I hardly think I’m going to start failing them now.” His grin widens. “And for the record, it’s not my fault you’re so distracting. Maybe next time you should wear a big coat.” He shakes his head. “No, even in that you’d look edible.” His gaze turns wicked.
“We are in a library.” I needlessly point out, knowing that look very well at this point. The look that says I’m seconds away from taking you right here on this table.
It’s one of my favorite looks.
“And?” He cocks his head in question.
“It’s a public space,” I say like it should be so obvious.
“And?”
“There are people in here.”
“And?”
“It’s a quiet place.”
“And? I can be quiet.” He stands, stalking around the table like a lion closing in on his prey.
My stomach tightens.
“I’m not having sex with you in the library,” I whisper, even though I know no one can hear me, given that we’re tucked away in the far back corner.
He reaches down and snags my hand, tugging me to my feet.
“I only have you until Wednesday, so I’m going to fuck you in every way imaginable between now and then,” he rumbles in my ear, causing my skin to prickle. “Including in the library.”
I shudder out a breath.
“I’ll only be gone five days,” I remind him, having trouble wrapping my head around the fact that it’s already late November.
“Five days too fucking long.” He tilts and in one swift move, flops me over his shoulder.
“Kai,” I hiss.
“Relax, I know just the place.” He turns, heading for the far side hallway that leads to the bathrooms.
“Someone is going to see you carrying me into the bathroom,” I warn.
“Who said anything about the bathroom?”
I can hear the smile in his voice as he veers right, pushing his way inside a dimly lit room.
He closes the door, and I hear the distinct click of a lock before he lowers me to my feet. As soon as they meet the ground, I look around, my eyes going wide.
“This is someone’s office.”
“It is.” He backs me against the door.
“We can’t...”
He dips his face, silencing me with a kiss.
“Oh, but we can,” he murmurs against my lips before his tongue slips against mine.
I groan into the kiss, not able to stop myself. This man knows exactly how to touch me, to kiss me, to wind me up until I’m begging for it.
“What if someone—”
“No one is going to come in here. It’s Sunday,” he reminds me. “Anyone who would access this office isn’t here on Sunday.”
I don’t question how he knows this, mainly because I don’t want to know how he knows.
I open my mouth to object further, but he swallows the words with a quick swipe of his tongue.
“I need you, Converse,” he grumbles, lifting me a second time, only this time instead of dropped over his shoulder, I end up with my legs wrapped around his waist as he carries me to the large desk at the back of the room. “I need you,” he repeats, sucking my bottom lip into his mouth.
I melt in an instant, every reservation I have going straight out the window in a single heartbeat.
I couldn’t resist this man if I tried... Only problem is, I don’t want to try. I don’t want to do anything but give him exactly what he’s asking for.
Seconds later, my backside hits the cool wood of the desk, Kai nipping and sucking at my neck as he works the button and zipper of my jeans, popping them open with expert ease.
“Lie back,” he instructs, and I do, careful not to knock anything out of place as I do.
I wait on bated breath as he removes one shoe and then the other.
When he tugs my jeans and underwear down over my hips, baring me, my heart jackhammers against my ribs, desire slowly replacing my nervous hesitation. I watch, enraptured by the sight, as Kai peels the material down the length of my legs, finally discarding the clothing onto the floor.
He’s the picture of perfection. His dark hair, messy from my hands. His skin flushed in desire. The ripple of his forearm muscles as he grabs my hips and tugs me to the end of the desk.
He remains the most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on. In fact, the more time I spend with him, the more I get to know him, the more attractive he becomes, which is really saying something, given how freaking gorgeous I thought he was back when I didn’t even like him. Now that I like him—now that I love him—there are no words for what he is.
He drops to his knees in front of me, stealing the breath from my lungs.
Blistering need pebbles my skin at the first swipe of his tongue. Another, and then another, until I’m spiraling toward a quick release. I can’t stop it, can’t slow it, not with Kai sucking and licking in the perfect combination that sends me over the edge so quickly that I’ve barely had time to wrap my head around how good it feels before I’m hurtling to the ground below.
I fist his hair in my hands, biting down on my lip so hard to keep myself from crying out that I’m surprised I don’t taste blood.
He doesn’t stop there, though. He continues to lap up every ounce of pleasure he can draw from my body, edging me toward another orgasm.
“Kai.” I tug on the silky strands of his hair, urging him up. “I want you inside of me,” I shamelessly plead.
A low growl vibrates his chest and his actions abruptly stop. And then he’s up, freeing his thick erection seconds before he enters me in one swift movement. I cry out, despite how desperately I’m trying to stay quiet.
He smiles, clearly enjoying watching me grapple for some semblance of control as he fills my body so full it’s a wonder I don’t split apart from the inside out. It’s the most pleasurable sort of pain, being stretched to the absolute limit.
His fingers bite into my hips to hold me in place as he pounds into me with so much force it jars my entire body.
I grab either side of the desk, holding on for dear life as my second orgasm starts to build. Like the first, it comes on hard and fast, picking up momentum the higher it climbs. I hold my breath, waiting for it to reach its peak, waiting for the sweet release I so desperately crave.
Kai holds me there, in the space between pleasure and pain, for a few long seconds before I erupt around him, a guttural cry exploding from my lips no matter how hard I try to hold it in.
Kai flips me upright so fast that I’ve barely processed the movement before his mouth is on mine, swallowing my cries as he empties his release deep inside of me.
I hold on to him for what feels like hours, desperately trying to ease my rapid heart rate, to slow my breathing, to come back down to the staggering reality of where we are.
I release my arms from where they’re locked around Kai’s shoulders, pulling back to look at him with what I’m sure is pure shock because that’s exactly what I feel as the haze of pleasure melts away.
“Do you think...”
“It wasn’t that loud.” The smile he’s wearing says otherwise.
“Do you think anyone heard?” He lets me get the whole question out this time.
“There’s hardly anyone here.” He kisses the tip of my nose in the sweetest way, the action a complete contradiction to how ruthlessly he just consumed my body, before pulling out of me.
I feel the loss of him immediately and all I want to do is pull him back inside of me and never let him leave. He’s the most dangerous sort of addiction. One I know I’ll be withdrawing from for the rest of my life.
Quickly tucking himself back into his pants, he gathers my clothes before helping me off the desk.
I slip my pants back on, which is harder than it should be given that my legs feel like they’re made of gelatin, and then bend down to retrieve my shoes.
“I need a bathroom,” I tell him quietly, though at this point, being quiet might be a moot point.
“Right through there.” He points to a door to the left.
“Do I want to know how you know there’s a private bathroom in here?” I ask, jealousy lacing my words despite my best effort to keep it hidden.
“If you’re asking if I’ve ever fucked someone in here before, the answer is no.” He steps into me. “Though I think it’s extremely cute that you’re worried that I had.” His finger slides under my chin, lifting my face up to his.
“Cute?” I croak, relief no doubt apparent on my face.
“Is it wrong that I like when you get jealous?” He brushes a kiss against my mouth.
“A little sadistic maybe.” I smile against his lips.
His only response is a deep swipe of his tongue against mine. I damn near whimper when he pulls away.
“Go clean up and then let’s get out of here.” He steps back.
“Get out of here? We aren’t done with our schoolwork.”
“Fuck schoolwork. All I want to do right now is take you back to my place and feast on you until the sun rises tomorrow.”
My body ripples with eager anticipation.
“Just until the sun rises?” I tease with a sly smile.
“Go before I change my mind about leaving and fuck you against the wall this time.”
I shut my mouth to keep the challenging words I’m about to say from slipping past. As much as I would love for him to take me again, right here and now, I think I prefer the privacy of his apartment much better.
“That’s what I thought.” He grins, smacking my ass as I pass him.
A giggle bubbles up my throat.
“Ass,” I mutter back at him.
“You want me to do what with your ass?” he calls after me as I slip into the bathroom.
“You have a dirty mind,” I tell him, gripping the doorframe.
“Oh, Converse, you have no idea just how dirty my mind can be.” His expression reads the promise of his words.
I open my mouth to respond but then quickly snap it closed, not at all sure how to respond.
Instead, I take a step back and quickly close the door between us.