Chapter 15 Darkness #2
However, matters truly reached their climax with the arrival of Mrs. Goulding, accompanied by her eldest son, Mr. Matthew Goulding.
The young gentleman, whom Elizabeth would find it difficult to recognize if she were to encounter him elsewhere, had come to renew his acquaintance with Mr. Bennet.
To hear her mother describe herself as an ungrateful, selfish child in front of the guests, particularly in the presence of a young man she hadn't seen in years, finally shattered Elizabeth's restraint.
She glanced at her father, hoping he would intervene and save her from this humiliation, but Mr. Bennet merely shook his head and smirked.
Elizabeth had enough. She stormed out of the parlour into the wide open space outside.
As she briskly walked towards Oakham Mount, her mind retraced the conversation she had with Charlotte in the past. She could now comprehend the weight of Charlotte's words, the sense of being an outcast, a burden within the walls of one's own home.
Lady Lucas would never stoop to her mother's level and publicly shame her own daughter before guests.
Yet, Elizabeth could still discern the origin of Charlotte's sentiments.
She, too, was experiencing the longing to escape the only home she had ever known, yearning for a place to call her own.
Merely two days prior, Elizabeth inadvertently overheard Mrs. Long speaking about her in the company of other ladies in Meryton, including Mrs. Goulding.
Mrs. Long remarked upon Elizabeth's apparent inability to secure a husband, while Lydia, the youngest of the Bennet sisters, revelled in a courtship with a commendable gentleman.
It was as if, at the age of one and twenty, Elizabeth was already deemed a spinster.
Such a perception had been brought upon her by her mother's incessant whining and constant complaints.
Suddenly, an unsettling realisation dawned upon her—should another suitor like Mr. Collins present himself, she would accept his proposal without a moment's hesitation.
It was a distressing thought, but it held undeniable truth.
She was already aware that she could never love anyone else in this life.
Her dreams of marrying for love had already perished.
Her one opportunity for love had slipped away on that fateful April evening.
Now that Charles's friendship with Mr. Darcy had dissolved, any hope of crossing paths with Mr. Darcy again seemed utterly bleak.
She, Elizabeth Bennet, was a foolish, headstrong woman who had heedlessly thrown away her one true chance for happiness in this lifetime.
It was indeed a deeply depressing situation in every respect.
Rosings Park, Kent
Richard
Richard could scarcely believe his ears.
"Aunt Catherine, did I hear correctly? Are you truly suggesting that I assume the responsibility of tending to Rosings?" he inquired, his confusion evident.
"No, Richard, I do not suggest you merely 'tend to' Rosings.
I want you to take ownership of Rosings.
It shall be yours henceforth. I intend to transfer the ownership to you.
Darcy will arrange the necessary documents, and once they are completed, I shall affix my signature upon them.
My sole condition is that you sell your commission and reside here.
Rosings require a master living within its walls," she explained.
He remained silent for a while. Even Darcy appeared astonished.
"What prompts this sudden change, Aunt? I am aware that Anne inherited Rosings last year, and you were overseeing matters on her behalf. Surely, you could continue in that capacity. Why this decision now?"
"It was Anne's wish, and now it is mine," she replied.
"Anne desired for me to assume control of Rosings? But why?" His confusion persisted.
There was a poignant silence for some time. Finally, in a feeble voice, she responded.
"I do not know whether Anne desired me to share this with you. I realize now that I was never privy to her wants and needs. She was right. I was the worst mother in this world."
He and Darcy abruptly rose from their seats. It was Darcy who found his voice first, questioning, "Anne said you were the worst mother in this world?"
"She should have told me sooner," was her only reply.
Richard and Darcy exchanged glances. The day was full of surprises. First they saw Aunt Catherine in tears. Now this.
"She had a lengthy conversation with me the evening prior.
.. She conveyed to me that I had never been there for her in her life.
She was correct. I never made an effort to understand my daughter.
I even failed to discern whom my daughter was in love with, despite observing them together on numerous occasions," she suddenly looked up.
"Richard, Anne loved you. It was you whom she desired to marry, not Darcy. I was a fool to push her towards Darcy."
Richard sank back into his seat. Anne was in love with me all this time? How did I miss it?
It was perhaps ironic that Richard, who discerned Darcy's affection for Miss Elizabeth and Miss Elizabeth's reciprocal aversion on their very first encounter, completely overlooked the fact that a lady with whom he had engaged in many conversations had been in love with him all along.
Longbourn, Hertfordshire
Elizabeth
As soon as Elizabeth returned to Longbourn, she was led into the dining chamber by her mother.
“'Lizzy, where were you all this time? You and your walking. My nerves are all aflutter. Mr. Goulding is in your father's study now. Go to your chamber and correct your appearance. I will ask Kitty to fix your hair. I don't want you looking like this in front of Mr. Goulding,” she was instructed.
This was in accordance with the behaviour Elizabeth expected from her mother.
Mr. Goulding was an eligible young man of marriageable age, and he was the heir to the Goulding estate.
However, from Elizabeth's perspective, Mr. Goulding's impression of her had plummeted to rock bottom when she was cruelly humiliated by her mother in front of him just an hour ago.
“Why, mother? Mr. Goulding will never have an interest in me now. You just told him that I am an ungrateful, selfish girl with no concern for the well-being of others. Why don't you ask Kitty to get ready?” she couldn't help but ask.
"Don't you dare speak in such a manner in his presence. Jemima informed me that his son wishes to become acquainted with you. He is seeking your father's permission for a courtship."
What? He had just seen me after how many years? Thirteen? And now he wants to court me?
There was nothing left to do but comply. Within twenty minutes, Elizabeth found herself standing in the Longbourn garden before a visibly anxious Mr. Goulding.
She had to wait a long time. After five minutes, the young man relinquished his stationary stance and began pacing before her. When it approached the ten-minute mark, Elizabeth's patience wore thin.
"Mr. Goulding, do you have something to discuss with me?" she inquired.
He abruptly turned towards her and blurted out, "No, this is unjust. How can I propose marriage to you? Miss Bennet, I do not love you. I could never love you."
What? A marriage proposal? What about the courtship?
Rosings Park, Kent
Lady Catherine
Lady Catherine realized that Richard had no knowledge of Anne's affection for him.
"You men are all fools when it comes to comprehending a lady's sentiments," she remarked. Unbeknownst to her, her words struck a chord with both gentlemen standing before her. Her gaze rested solely upon Richard, completely overlooking Darcy's rigid stance.
"Richard, Anne loved you for years. Three years ago, Mr. Hawthorne informed her that she would never bear a child in her life.
Since then, she chose to conceal her affection for you.
She desired for you to inherit Rosings, possess the means to marry for love, and lead a joyful life.
According to her, I was a wretched mistress in any case.
What were the terms she employed to describe me? 'Rosings' Reigning Nightmare?"
Lady Catherine noticed Darcy's accusatory glance at his cousin. So it was Richard who divulged that information to Anne.
"Nevertheless, I have come to realize that I may not be the mistress that the tenants of this grand estate truly deserve.
Therefore, my decision is final. I wish to relinquish Rosings to you.
I shall relocate to the Dower House. I want you to make the necessary arrangements for my accommodation.
Additionally, secure a companion for me.
If Mrs. Jenkinson is agreeable to the notion, she shall suffice.
I may also require a cook and a housemaid for my domestic needs.
I have no need for any further servants," she settled back in her chair.
"Why must you move to the Dower House? You could remain here with me," Richard inquired.
"So you are agreeable to my plans, then. You will sell your commission and reside here," she gazed directly into her nephew's eyes.
Longbourn, Hertfordshire
Elizabeth
Elizabeth's mind fixated on the words "marriage proposal" initially. The realisation that he stated he could never love her only registered after a while.
If he could never love me, then what is the purpose? Why are we here?
“Mr. Goulding, I find myself rather perplexed. Why are we standing here, then? Shall we go inside?” she inquired.
"Miss Bennet, I am compelled to wed. I require an heir. My father has already implored me to assume the management of the estate. He has also instructed me to find a wife and secure an heir, despite my reluctance to marry any longer," he explained.
Elizabeth remained puzzled. Why her?
"Mr. Goulding, I am still confused. Why, then, do we linger here? My mother informed me that you wished to request a courtship."