Chapter 15 Darkness #5
As he entered the parsonage gates, he saw Mrs. Collins walking out with a smile.
After the customary pleasantries, Mrs. Collins regretfully informed him that her husband was visiting one of the tenant families.
Having explained his purpose, Darcy, almost involuntarily, inquired about her friend, his Elizabeth.
"I received a letter from her two days ago. She had news to share. Both she and her sister Lydia are betrothed."
The words hung in the air, their impact overwhelming him. Involuntarily, he brought his hands to cover his face. The world around him blurred into insignificance as an intense ache consumed him. He had lost. It was over. Elizabeth was no longer his.
"To whom is she betrothed?" he blurted out.
"Lizzy is betrothed to Mr. Matthew Goulding two weeks ago. The banns have been read. She will marry by the end of next week," Mrs. Collins replied.
Charlotte
Though everyone deemed Charlotte a practical lady, it did not imply that she was impervious to matters of the heart.
It was merely that she ranked other things in this world above love.
She could discern love and heartbreak when she beheld them.
And in the gentleman standing before her, she saw it abundantly.
"Mr. Matthew Goulding is the heir to the Goulding estate in Meryton.
My mother had informed me about his return to Meryton after completing his studies at Eton.
I recall him as a boy, younger than myself but the same age as Lizzy.
They used to play together as children, if my memory serves me right. "
Mr. Darcy's eyes were closed. It was clear that he was in pain. A silence enveloped them before he looked at her once more.
"I bid you farewell, Mrs. Collins. When you next correspond with your friend, kindly convey my well wishes for her future. May Almighty God grant her a life filled with happiness and contentment."
With a final gaze directed her way, he turned toward the gate and walked away. She stood there, watching his figure recede, pondering how her dear friend had managed to muddle her life in such a manner.
Oh, Eliza, to think that you chose Mr. Goulding over Mr. Darcy. If only you had encouraged him even slightly, he would have proposed to you. He loves you, Eliza. Haven't I told you this before? What a terrible mistake!
Darcy
Darcy managed to slip into his chambers at Rosings unnoticed. He knew he would eventually have to confide in Richard about the heartbreak that consumed him, but that time was not now. He needed some time alone to gather his thoughts and find some semblance of composure.
He had failed. Fitzwilliam Darcy, a man of wealth and status, known to be capable of winning the hand of any young woman in the country, had faltered in his pursuit of the one lady who truly held his heart. He was not worthy, and there was no denying it.
Mrs. Collins's mention of Elizabeth's childhood connection with Mr. Goulding echoed in his mind.
Had there been an attachment between them?
Could it be that he had proposed to her while she was already in love with another man?
Why had he not considered this possibility before?
To realize that he had declared his affections without having any insight into her regard for him left him reeling.
It was evident that she had been taken by surprise at his proposal.
Only focussing on his own desires, he had never stopped to consider whether she desired him as her husband.
And now he reaped the consequences he so rightfully deserved.
Lost in his lamentations, Darcy's solitude was unexpectedly interrupted by a gentle tap on his door. He anticipated Richard's entrance, yet to his surprise, it was Georgiana who stood outside his chambers.
"Fitzwilliam, if you are available, I would like to talk to you about something. May I come in?" she asked in a timid voice.
"I am always available for you, my dear. What is it that you wish to discuss," he replied. He would have preferred to converse with her at a later time. Yet, it seemed this was her first attempt at initiating a conversation with him since Ramsgate, and he did not wish to scare her away.
"It concerns Aunt Catherine. I am aware that your plan is to travel to London tomorrow while I stay here with Aunt and Richard. However, if it is agreeable to you, I would like to accompany you on your journey. Furthermore, I would like to propose that we bring Aunt Catherine with us."
Darcy, surprised at this request, inquired.
"If Aunt Catherine is willing, I see no reason why we cannot accommodate her. But dear, why do you not wish to stay with Richard? You have never resided at Rosings before."
"Richard will be occupied with estate matters. Fitzwilliam, if you will not be angry with me, may I make a suggestion? I do not wish for Aunt Catherine to remain alone in the dower house. Could we ask her to reside with us instead? She could travel with us to London and then onward to Pemberley when we make our journey there. I know I have previously avoided Aunt Catherine, but she has changed. I don’t want her to grieve for Anne alone in her remaining days. "
In that moment, Darcy saw Georgiana in a new light.
She mirrored their mother in ways that stirred his heart.
His thoughts immediately returned to that day when he last spoke with his mother, a day when he promised to take care of Aunt Catherine.
It was as if through Georgiana, his mother was gently reminding him of his promise to her.
I will never be able to fulfil my vow to marry for love. I can’t fail in yet another promise.
There was only one response he could offer her.
"My dear, I shall speak with Aunt Catherine tonight. I shall earnestly implore her to come and reside with us. She may voice objections, but I shall make every effort," he assured her.
Georgiana's delight was uncontainable as she rushed into her brother's embrace. Darcy held her tightly, feeling a sense of closeness they had not shared since that painful day in Ramsgate.
It required little persuasion. The following day, Darcy travelled to London together with Georgiana and Aunt Catherine.
Overwhelmed by sorrow from his lost love, Darcy felt ill-prepared to face the bustling society of the capital.
Within a week’s time, he proposed that they set forth to Pemberley.
Georgiana and Aunt Catherine were taken aback by this unexpected suggestion amidst the height of the season, but consented.
Thus, on the very day when the sole woman who had captured his heart exchanged vows with her childhood companion, Darcy found himself en route to Pemberley together with his sister and aunt.
Saturday, July 18, 1812
Portsmouth
Wickham
Wickham regarded the scroll fastened to his breast. He could decipher it even when it lay upside down. His name was spelled accurately, but the script was lamentable. He pondered how the officer at the far end of the corridor, who divided the queue into two, could decipher his name.
The line he stood in moved forward at a sluggish pace.
All the men had their legs and hands in chains, making it hard to move.
Wickham prayed that the men behind him would not stumble and bring him down.
With his hands bound in front, he had no means of preserving his balance if such an incident were to occur.
Wickham knew that Captain Carter, who had escorted him here, awaited on the shore.
He would only return to Brighton upon receiving confirmation that his charge had indeed boarded the ship.
Wickham ruminated on the irony of it all.
He had shared drinks and played cards with Captain Carter in the past. Now, he was a convict, and Captain Carter made no effort to engage in conversation with him during the journey.
He observed the two imposing vessels visible from the dock.
One of them would convey him far away from the place he had called home throughout his life.
One ship bore a blue hue, while the other displayed distinctive red paint.
He contemplated which of them would serve as his passage to the Caribbean Colonies.
He understood what awaited him upon his arrival in the Caribbean colonies.
No one journeyed to the Caribbean colonies for a leisurely vacation.
He would be subjected to forced labour for the remainder of his days, enduring harsh conditions along with other deported convicts.
His life was done for. There was nothing to look forward to.
There was absolutely no chance of ever returning to England.
Even more distressing, he was to be transported to an island lacking local residents, only housing male convicts deported from England.
He'll never see a woman again in his life.
This, he perceived, was a punishment meticulously designed for him.
And it was all Darcy's doing. God, what would I give for one more chance to avenge him.
Wickham knew that his punishment would have been less severe if not for the four-thousand-pound debt that Richard had presented during his trial.
He would still have faced deportation, but not to the Caribbean colonies.
Perhaps he would have been sent to France, compelled to join in the ongoing war there.
He might have met his end in battle, yet there'd also be a possibility of returning to England at some point in his life.
His thoughts were abruptly interrupted when the man behind him stumbled and landed on his back, bringing them both to the ground.
With their hands and legs bound, they struggled to get up.
As Wickham regained his feet, he discovered that both had lost the papers pinned to their chests.
He quickly scanned the area and spotted two papers on the ground to his right.
With a jolt of surprise, he read the name inscribed on the paper that did not belong to him. It bore the name "George William."