Chapter 15 Darkness #4
So Anne felt suffocated in my presence. And I worsened her discomfort by not conversing with her. Forgive me, Anne. I foolishly believed it to be the opposite, thinking you also wished to avoid me.
"I cared for her, but never as a lover. I would have protected and provided for her had she ever happened to be under my protection, though I am uncertain if I would have proposed marriage.
I never viewed her in that way. She was an exceptionally intelligent and kind woman, Darcy.
She will always hold a place in my heart as a dear friend or sister. "
This was uncharacteristic of Richard, revealing such sentiments.
Darcy realized that Aunt Catherine's revelation had deeply affected him.
Anne had endured a life of seclusion and suffocation, and neither he nor Richard had taken any action to prevent it.
Richard's father, Uncle Matlock, possessed the power to overrule Aunt Catherine, yet he too remained inactive.
They had all been negligent, and Anne had suffered throughout her existence.
Darcy rarely experienced shame, but this was one of those rare moments.
Longbourn, Hertfordshire
Elizabeth
Elizabeth, returning to her home after accepting the proposal, walked into a commotion. She witnessed her mother in a flutter and saw Lydia beaming at her side.
Oh, it seems Lydia, too, has become betrothed. It is no wonder Mama is in hysterics.
Five minutes later, her father emerged from his study with the two gentlemen by his side to announce both betrothals. Her mother squealed with joy and held onto Lydia for a long time. After a while, she approached Elizabeth.
"Lizzy, so you have some sense in your little head. Now be a good wife to that young man," she said. There was no embrace, no expression of love. Only some words, cruel words.
"Yes, Mama," Elizabeth replied. If she had any doubts about her decision to accept Mr. Goulding's proposal, she no longer harboured them. She needed to escape from this house. How soon could the banns be read?
Some time later, she found herself seated in the front parlour.
The gentlemen had already departed. Mama was engaged in conversation with Mrs. Goulding, now Jemima to her, who had already welcomed Elizabeth into the family and embraced her.
Lydia sat opposite to her, attentively listening to their conversation.
This marked another characteristic Elizabeth observed in this transformed Lydia.
Before her elopement, Lydia had seldom shown the inclination to listen.
Out of nowhere, Mama began discussing Mr. Darcy.
"All these fortunate events occurred because that man, that dreadful man, Mr. Darcy, was absent this time. Bingley would have never proposed to Jane otherwise. Why do people consider him a gentleman? He is not a gentleman in the least."
Elizabeth felt her anger rising within her. Why mention him now?
As she stood up to walk out of the parlour, she realized she was not the only one seething with anger. Lydia was fuming and fixating her gaze upon their mother.
Why is Lydia upset by Mother's words?
Lydia
Lydia was angry, as angry as she had ever been in her life. Yet, she now had enough wisdom to recognize the need to rein in her emotions. However, a single glance from her sister told her that her attempts to quell the anger had come too late. Oh, no.
Swiftly rising from her seat, she made her way outdoors, toward the garden. Lizzy will surely follow me. I need to decide on what to tell her.
As anticipated, her sister walked in and settled beside her on the bench. She was direct.
"Lydia, why are you suddenly angry when Mama mentioned Mr. Darcy?"
Lydia remained silent for a while, needing to gather her thoughts.
"I was angry with myself, Lizzy. Why did Mama choose to bring him up? Speaking of Mr. Darcy made me think of that other wretched man. What a fool I was to elope with him."
She observed her sister contemplating her response. Please, Lizzy, let the matter rest. I cannot discuss this further.
"Lydia, did Mr. Wickham speak to you about Mr. Darcy?"
That was not the query Lydia had anticipated, yet she had the answer. It was the least she could do for Mr. Darcy – to improve his standing in the eyes of one lady who held him in disfavour.
"Not to me. But on our way to London, after they, they..”, Lydia couldn’t continue. Lizzy’s hands were on hers.
“Oh Lydia, you don’t need to continue. Forget what I asked,” Lizzy immediately offered.
“No, Lizzy. I want to talk to you. I was scared. Mr. Wickham and the driver talked all the way to London, while I was curled up in the carriage, afraid to move. I overheard them talking about Mr. Wickham turning down a church living and getting four thousand pounds in compensation. He lied to us, Lizzy. He fooled us. ”
Lydia saw her sister closing her eyes as if in pain.
“Why are you sad, Lizzy?”
"Likely because I, too, am angered by my own foolishness in trusting Mr. Wickham," came the response.
Something told Lydia that her sister just lied to her. Yet, she remained silent, desiring to bring this conversation to a close. Both sisters clung to their secrets concerning a certain gentleman in their hearts.
Friday, June 5, 1812
Jane
Jane stormed into her father's study, overcome by a mix of sadness, anger, and misery. Oh, Lizzy! What have you done? You foolish girl.
Having returned from her wedding trip only yesterday evening, Jane discovered that not only Lydia but also her beloved Lizzy had become betrothed during her absence. While Lydia's betrothal was expected, Lizzy's came as a shock.
To contemplate that her dearest sister had accepted a proposal from a gentleman she had not laid eyes upon for a decade, all in an effort to escape the loneliness and suffocation of their home, pierced Jane's heart like a dagger.
"Papa, why did you consent to Mr. Goulding's proposal for Lizzy?" she immediately inquired, noting the surprise reflected in her father's expression.
"Because she accepted his offer. Jane, I merely granted him permission to request for a courtship. However, it seems they both concluded that they don’t desire a formal courtship.
I never compelled Lizzy to accept him. In fact, had she rejected his proposal, I would have supported her, just as I did with Mr. Collins. "
"Did you inquire as to why she chose to accept the proposal of a gentleman whom she had not seen in a decade?" Jane had to ask this. Why did no one ask her this?
"No, why should I inquire? Lizzy is not Lydia or Kitty; she possesses intelligence enough to discern her own desires and needs."
"Oh, Papa, she is making a mistake. She always desired a marriage founded on love. What can we do to rectify this situation?" Jane implored.
"Rectify this situation? What are you suggesting? Everyone is aware of their betrothal. The banns have already been read. We cannot prevent it now. She must proceed with the marriage. It is beyond my control."
"You could speak with Mr. Goulding, both the elder and the younger. Surely they can comprehend if she has made an error. I implore you, Papa, please do something to assist her. She has made a mistake," Jane pleaded.
"No, Jane, I cannot. It is risky. Furthermore, your mother would never let me rest in peace if I were to intervene."
Jane felt her anger rising, and on this occasion, she made no effort to suppress it.
"Papa, what are we to you? Are we not your daughters?
Are you only concerned about your own peace?
Do you not worry for even a moment about your daughter, your cherished daughter, who will endure a life of suffering for one mistake she made?
You love her, Papa, I am certain of it. I beseech you, take action to prevent this.
Only you possess the authority to do so. "
"No, Jane, nothing can be done. That is final. I do not wish to discuss this matter any further. If you have nothing else to discuss, I want you to leave me," was the reply.
Jane stood tall, her posture rigid and her voice cold as she responded, "Very well, Papa.
I am leaving you. I have found a husband who loves me with his life.
I shall never set foot in this house again.
If you wish to see your eldest daughter and, god willing, your grandchildren, you must come to my home.
There is another matter, if anything should happen to Lizzy after her marriage, if she ever requires a shoulder to lean on, it shall not be you to whom she turns to.
She will come to me. She will find love and protection.
But it will not be from you. Farewell, Papa. "
Jane stormed out of her father's study, completely disregarding her mother, who tried to speak with her in the parlour. After requesting her sisters to visit her at Netherfield, she walked out of her childhood home for the final time in her life.
Tuesday, June 16, 1812
Hunsford Parsonage, Kent
Darcy
Darcy proceeded towards the parsonage to bid farewell to the Collins family.
Once he reached London, he would immediately journey to Netherfield to have a face-to-face conversation with Bingley.
The outcome was uncertain, but he was determined to try.
Georgiana would stay with Richard in Rosings during this time.
She was getting along well with Aunt Catherine, so there was no impediment to her staying here any longer.
A month had elapsed since Anne's demise.
Richard had sold his commission and assumed the role of the master of Rosings.
The past two weeks were dedicated to overseeing the transfer of ownership and guiding Richard in estate management.
This would be an ongoing process as Richard was still new to it.
Darcy would continue assisting him through correspondence.