Chapter 20
“Position your body like this; that way, you can protect your chest.” Cash and I were in the backyard practicing. The twins had begun coming over to my house for the last few weeks, and things had been going pretty well. Moolah hadn’t warmed up to me the way I would have hoped, but we would get there eventually. I wasn’t going anywhere, so I didn’t mind.
“You don’t want to give your opponents access to this part of your body. Plus, the lower you are, the more impactful your tackles will be. Now, let’s run the play again. I want you to focus on my body and the way I move. We’re gonna run a few plays, and I need you to pay attention to the way I run and the side I favor. You need to get familiar with your opponents, down to the hand they use to catch the ball and the side of the field they prefer to run down.”
“Like a lion? They study their prey and their habits so they can attack them at the right moment,” Cash informed me. I loved the fact that he was his own person. He loved animals and science almost as much as he loved football. Sometimes, when Moolah decided to be alone in his room, we would sit up for hours watching Animal Planet , and he would fill me in on all the facts that they didn’t cover on the show. It amazed me to see something I created with their own passion and ambition.
“Exactly. You don’t want to move prematurely because you may miss your mark. You need to be able to predict their next move so you can always be ten steps ahead of them at all times.”
“Alright, I got you.” We dapped fists and continued making plays until dinner time. I wasn’t a cook, so we ordered Chinese for the night.
After we finished eating, I cleaned up the kitchen and watched TV in my man cave for a couple of hours until I decided to head to bed. On my way there, I noticed the screen door leading to the backyard was open. As I walked over, I saw a figure in the backyard running. I watched him for a moment, admiring his formation. Cash was feeding the football through the Jugs machine I’d recently purchased for them, while Moolah ran to catch the pass.
Moolah possessed a hunger in him that many players his age didn’t tap into until they were in high school. He knew what he wanted, and he was determined to do everything he needed to be great. I wrestled with whether or not I wanted to interrupt him because things had been so awkward between the two of us. However, I decided to go for it. We weren’t going to get past this stage if I didn’t put in the effort.
“If you extend your body a little more, you’ll have a better chance of catching your passes.”
“I ain’t never had a problem catching a pass.” He never even glanced in my direction when he spoke.
“It will also eliminate the chances of you pulling a muscle or landing wrong. See, there’s a difference between leaping this way and going at an angle like this.” I passed a football to Cash so I could demonstrate for him. These were some tips that saved my life.
“Is there a reason you’re out here? I didn’t ask for your help,” Moolah spat.
“Cash, do you mind if I speak to your brother in private?”
“No, problem. I’ll be in my room.” Cash hurriedly jogged into the house. I went ahead and turned off the machine because it was obvious my son and I needed to settle a few things.
“I don’t need permission to go anywhere in the home I pay for.”
“Yeah, well, I can always go home if it’s a problem.”
“You’re the one who has an issue with me. If you’ve got something to get off your chest, let that shit out,” I urged, holding my hand out for the ball. He eyed me for a moment before he passed it to me. The power behind his pass let me know he was holding in a lot of anger.
Growing up, no one cared about the fact that I was angry. All they cared about was the way I chose to express it. I went years keeping my feelings bottled up because I had no place to put them.
I stepped back so I could throw the football to him. At first, he hesitated, but the farther I passed it, the more determined he became. He wanted to prove that my advice didn’t matter. However, the higher I threw the passes, I noticed the shift in his positioning. I couldn’t even be mad because I respected his drive. Moolah wasn’t one to take anyone’s word on anything unless he felt it was in his best interest. Right now, our trust was shaky, but he would soon learn that I would never steer him wrong.
We tossed the ball around in silence for another twenty minutes until he finally spoke up.
“Why did you and my mom break up?” I hadn’t expected him to ask me that, and to be honest, I wasn’t sure how to respond.
Moolah already had ill feelings, and telling him what really happened could potentially fuck up any chances I had to build something with him. However, I believed in owning up to my bullshit, and I wouldn’t start our relationship by not keeping it real.
“I cheated on her. She left me after that.”
“Do you regret it?”
“Every single day. When I met your mama, I was in high school. She was the prettiest girl in the whole school, but I could tell she had been through a lot in life. She ended up moving in with me because her home life wasn’t the best, and the two of us became best friends. Sunny meant everything to me. I had never been in love before, but she changed my life.
“When I went off to college, I let it all go to my head. I was partying, being reckless, and living it up. At some point, I made a mistake that would alter my life forever. By the time I realized what happened, the damage had already been done, and I lost the best thing that ever happened to me.”
The two of us stood there in the yard until he eventually stepped back and got into a stance to pass me the ball this time. I got a good distance and waited for him to toss it. We went a few more rounds, but I could tell he still had more that he wanted to get off his chest.
“Are you gonna tell me why you hate me? I don’t mind being the villain, but I at least want to know what I’ve done to deserve the title.” His eyes locked with mine, and so many different emotions flashed across his face.
“I know what happened to her.” I froze in place.
“What did you say?”
“My mom. I know what happened to her. Last year, we were over at Aunt Tamia’s house, and she had a friend over. Her name was Arnessa or something like that. She was crying about my mom never truly forgiving her for what happened. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but once I heard her mention my mom’s name, I wanted to know what happened.
“I didn’t know what the word meant, so I asked one of the girls I’m cool with at school. When she explained to me what happened, I was so angry. When I used to ask about my father, she would brush me off and tell me that it was better if I didn’t know. Then I heard them talking about you a few times. Aunt Tamia would always try to convince her to reach out to you, but she would end up crying. I thought it was because you were the one who hurt her, so I didn’t want anything to do with you.
“My mom doesn’t know that I know the truth about what happened to her in college, and I never planned on bringing it up.”
“I never hurt her. I loved your mama way too much to ever do something like to her.” I stepped closer, but he stepped back, causing me to frown.
“Yeah, I know that. I did my research on you and found an old article. The two of you were standing together on your senior night when you beat Madison. I knew you couldn’t have been the one to hurt her because it was obvious the two of you were close. When I asked her about you, she told me you were someone she once loved. She told me you rescued her from a bad situation. None of it made any sense to me because if you were such a great person, how come you weren’t together?
“I got my answer when I was playing on my mom’s phone one day. I went to your contact to see if the two of you were friends, and I saw the messages in her inbox where you told her you didn’t want us, and I lost all respect for you. Not only did you walk away from your own kids, but you didn’t protect the woman you claim to love. My mama always tells us that a real man protects those he loves, but you didn’t. You walked away when she needed you the most. You went on to live this great life with all of the money and fame while we had to struggle for years. What kind of man does that?” I gulped because some of the things he said were true.
I promised Charae I would always protect her and that she would always be mine, but I didn’t keep my word. When she was going through the darkest time in her life, I was partying and fucking every bitch in sight. I thought she had betrayed me, and instead of checking the facts, I believed what Drake told me. If I had gone after her and tried to talk to her face to face, things would have probably gone a different way. Instead, I lost the love of my life and, ultimately, years away from my kids.
“You’re right.” His eyes shot up to mine in disbelief. I guessed he must have thought I would disagree with his take on things, but I couldn’t.
“I fucked up. Both of us were young, and we’d never been in love before. I thought I had all of the answers, but the truth is I had none. Your mama trusted me to take care of her heart, and I fumbled the ball. I let her down, and as a result, someone close to me hurt her. I made a mistake. We both made a lot of mistakes in such a short amount of time.
“Sunny was my heart. When I pictured my future, it always included her. In my mind, she would be my wife one day. I was going to get drafted into the NFL, and we were going to live happily ever after. I never wanted a life without her in it.”
“You never came back for her, though. If you loved her as much as you claim, why wouldn’t you do everything you could to fix it? You left us and never looked back.” His voice cracked as a lone tear streamed down his face. He hurriedly wiped it off, but another fell shortly after.
“I was angry and stupid. I allowed the wrong people to get into my head, and in the end, it cost me everything. Look, Moolah. I know you’re hurt because I wasn’t there, but I swear I didn’t know. I’m telling you the truth, even though I know there are a lot of things you still don’t understand. I didn’t send those messages. I’m still trying to figure out what happened, but that isn’t something you need to worry about. All you need to know is that I love your mama, and I love y’all too.
“We have a lot of time to make up for because we missed out on so much. I understand if you need time to process all of this, but I’ll be right here whenever you’re ready. I ain’t going nowhere, whether you accept me or not. I’m still gonna be here. I’ll be at all of your games and whatever else you choose to do in school. If you want to be mad at me, I’m cool with that, but it won’t change the way I show up for you.
My dad died before we could do all of the cool shit fathers and sons are supposed to do with one another. It’s something I’ve always regretted, and I won’t let that shit happen with us. Life is too short, and I refuse to miss out on any more time with you and your brother. So, you can accept my love or not, but it won’t change anything on my end.”
His chest heaved up and down as tears fell. I wanted to hug him, but if he was anything like me, I needed to wait until he was ready.
“Did you kill him? The person who hurt my mama?” I stared at him, trying to decide if this was a conversation I wanted to have with him. They were young, but I could tell Moolah was wise beyond his years.
“He’s gonna get what’s coming to him. Don’t you worry about that.” I had a plan for Drake, but I needed him to believe it was all over. He was back partying and posting all over social media now that his bruises finally healed. I needed him to be comfortable so he would never see it coming. I would never tell my son about my plans, though. He didn’t need to know that side of me. Moolah nodded, so I assumed he was satisfied with my answer. We practiced for a little while longer before heading into the house. My sons reminded me so much of myself, but my desire was for them to be better than me.