Chapter 5
five
Locking up my apartment, I head down the stairs. The last thing I want to do is go to class, but I need to. I can’t afford not to.
“Morning.”
I look up and see Brett standing at the entrance of the building.
“What are you doing here?”
The corner of his mouth kicks up into a smile. “I’m here to see you.”
He holds out a thermos that looks suspiciously familiar.
“Is this mine?” I ask as I take it.
“Yeah, it’s one you let me use once.”
Looking down at the cup, I smile. I know without asking that he got me tea. Something he’s always been good about doing since we first met. Only this time, I can’t drink it.
“While I’m thankful for the tea, I can’t drink it. I decided to cut out caffeine.” I hold out the cup, but he shakes his head as he puts his hands into his hoodie pocket.
“It’s caffeine free.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “R-really?”
He nods. “Come on, if we don’t start walking now, you’ll be late for class.”
“You’re walking me to class?”
I know I sound silly repeating him, but I can’t help it. I wasn’t expecting this.
“I am. Here, let me take that.” He reaches out and takes my bag from me, slinging it over his own shoulder.
I fall into step next to him as we make our way to campus.
“So the tea. How did you know?” I ask.
“Well, I knew that you could only have limited amounts of caffeine while pregnant, but I know you. I knew that if you were told to limit something, you would cut it out, period, but I know you love tea.”
“I do,” I confirm softly.
“So I went to that tea shop you like that’s downtown. The owner was nice and took the time to help me pick out teas for you that are safe for pregnancy.”
“That…” I shake my head.
Speechless.
I’m speechless.
When I first got hooked on tea, my parents thought it was a phase that would end. They thought it was silly when I bought a kettle, the little infusion balls, and containers to hold the tea. Hell, I don’t think they even know what my favorite type of tea is.
I have a sneaking suspicion that he knows, though.
“Thank you.”
Thanking him feels inadequate, but I don’t know what else to say. Am I thankful? Absolutely, but that doesn’t begin to describe how I feel.
“You’re welcome. I bought several different kinds that she recommended.
I figured over the next couple of weeks we can try them out and see which one you prefer.
She did mention that there is one you should drink toward the end of pregnancy that will help you prepare for birth.
Something about it helping soften you so you don’t tear? ” He makes a face, making me laugh.
“I have no idea, but I can’t wait to find out. What else have you learned about pregnancy?” I ask as I bring the thermos up to my mouth.
Brett blows out a breath. “So many things.”
“Like?”
“Well, I stayed up going over all the articles I could about pregnancy in general. I learned that between twenty-four and twenty-eight weeks, you’ll be forced to take a glucose test to check for gestational diabetes.”
“How do they test for that?” I smile, having had no idea they do that.
You’d think being a woman, I would, but my focus has always been on skating. All of this is new to me too.
He winces. “Apparently they make you drink a nasty as fuck sugar drink. No one had anything good to say about any of the flavors that they will offer, just that it’s disgusting and that before you take it, you’ll have to fast. Then if you don’t pass on the first try, you’ll have to do it again but have to fast longer while they wait for the results. ”
“That sounds miserable,” I mutter, dread filling me.
I hate soda, so the idea of being forced to drink one that’s sweeter is…
I shiver just thinking about it.
“Then I started watching a video of childbirth. I had to stop, though, because I knew if I didn’t, it would keep me up all night.”
How is this my life?
Brett, the guy who I thought was a playboy turned baby daddy, is buying me tea and researching pregnancy to a degree I never even thought about.
Does this make me a bad parent?
“I never even thought to watch that,” I mutter.
He reaches out and squeezes my hand. “You don’t have to, considering you’ll actually be going through it. The only reason I did is because I want to be as well informed as possible to advocate for you and our baby.”
“Still, I should know before we go in.”
“Okay, then we can watch it together. How does that sound?” he offers.
I shoot him a smile.
“Do you have class here soon?” I ask, changing the subject.
He shakes his head. “No, I actually need to go talk to Coach. I need to tell him about the baby.”
I suck in a breath, caught off guard. “What? Why? No, you don’t have to do that.”
He squeezes my hand again. “But I do. He needs to know so that way when I miss practice, he isn’t surprised.”
“Why would you miss practice?”
“Well, I sure as hell won’t be at practice when you have doctor’s appointments.”
I come to a stop outside of the building my class is in, and tug on his hand until he looks at me. “You don’t have to go to all the appointments. I know how much hockey means to you.”
Brett lets go of my hand and steps forward, cupping my face in his hands.
“I know it’s going to take a while to convince you of this, but I want to. I want to be there for every appointment possible. I need to. I don’t want to miss a fucking moment of this,” he says sincerely.
I’ll never admit it out loud, but I melt. I got seriously lucky when it comes to him.
“Thank you,” I say softly.
He shakes his head. “You don’t have to thank me. Showing up for you and our baby is the least I can do.”
“I still need to find an OB-GYN. I got a few recommendations, but I still need to check to see if any of them have openings.”
“Do you need help?”
“I got it. I need to get to class, though.”
He leans in and kisses me before I can pull away.
“Have fun in class. I’ll see you later,” he says as he walks backward before turning forward.
I shake my head and smile.
I know I told Irina that I still wanted to go for gold in the Olympics after next, but I started to doubt if it would be possible. It’s going to be a lot of work. and with a child, I just don’t know. If Brett is with me, though…I have a feeling it’s going to be possible.
If Brett is the man I think he is, he’s going to make sure I get everything I want. The family and the gold.
Reluctantly, I walk away from Emery and head toward the rink. As I walk through campus, I can’t help but think about how much different this time next year will be.
I’ll be a dad. Responsible for a child. A whole-ass human, which is fucking crazy to think about.
Instead of hockey and school, my life will be all about car seats, strollers, baby wearing, and baby food.
Baby food.
When I was telling Emery about what I was looking into, I never mentioned that.
Will she want to breastfeed or use formula? Will she want to use pre-made baby food, or will we make all of our baby food from scratch?
Honestly, I kind of like the idea of us doing it ourselves. Plus, there won’t be any preservatives, and apparently that’s a massive fucking thing right now.
I’m getting ahead of myself, though.
So much needs to happen before that even becomes a topic of discussion.
First, I need to make sure the rest of her pregnancy goes smoothly. Then we can worry about the rest.
For a moment I pause outside of the rink and look up at it.
This place has played such a big part in my life. I won championships here. Built lifelong friendships. Had wins and losses. I got hurt and rehabbed here, and now, I get to tell someone for the first time about becoming a father.
Shaking my head, I head inside and make my way to his office. Coach’s door is open, so I knock on the doorframe.
He looks up from the papers on his desk. “Brett, how can I help you this morning?”
“I was wondering if you have a moment to talk.” My voice sounds a little unsteady.
I’m nervous. I don’t like being nervous.
A look of concern flashes across his face. “Of course, shut the door and sit.”
Stepping into his office, I do as he says.
He steeples his hands in front of his face.
“What’s going on, son?” He cuts right to it.
“I’m going to be a father.” The words come out before I even think them.
A look of confusion crosses his face but passes when he shakes his head.
“You knocked up a chick?” he says.
“Coach, I respect you, but watch your tone,” I tell him harshly.
Respect crosses his face.
“Who?”
“Emery Monroe.”
Recognition makes his eyes widen. “The figure skater you’ve been obsessed with for years.”
I startle. I had no idea he knew about it.
“Yes.”
He looks away and runs his hand over his mouth. “I did not see this coming.”
I don’t bother to respond. It’s none of his business that this wasn’t planned.
He looks back at me and studies me. “You seem to be taking this well. When players typically tell me this, they look scared out of their minds. You look nervous, but not scared.”
“I’d be a liar if I said I’m not scared at all, but honestly, I’m more excited than anything,” I admit.
It’s the truth. I feel like I should be scared out of my mind, but I’m not. I want this. I want her and our baby. My fear only comes in when I think of everything that could go wrong.
Was it an intentional pregnancy? Obviously not, but it’s a gift.
“Wait, she’s the school’s crown jewel. The one they expected to go to the Olympics,” he muses.
“She will. Not this round obviously, but the one after,” I say with determination.
His eyebrow raises. “You sound pretty sure of that.”
“It’s because I am. She will get what she wants in life. I’ll make sure of it.”
He nods. “So where does that leave you?”
“Excuse me?”
“Well, I’m assuming you are telling me for a reason.”
“I promised Emery that I will go to every doctor’s appointment with her. If one happens to be during practice, I need you to know I won’t be here.”
Coach sighs and shakes his head. “Do you know what you are doing?”
Before I can say anything, he raises his hand, cutting me off.
“Don’t get me wrong, I respect your decision to be by her side. I would be disappointed if you weren’t, but this is going to push your focus away from hockey. You need to get back on the ice. I’m almost certain if you do, you’ll be drafted in the spring.”
“Actually,” I say, making him groan.
“Don’t say it. Please, don’t say it,” he begs.
“Being drafted means nothing to me. Honestly, the thought of playing professionally isn’t appealing to me at all. Not now.”
“Because now you are having a child. Son, don’t throw away all you have ever worked for on a whim. You can play and have a kid.”
I think over my words for a moment before I speak.
“I want to be present in my child’s life.
Truly present. I don’t want to be a part-time dad.
The draft was something I aimed toward because I thought I had to.
Honestly? It doesn’t even bother me to give it up.
I don’t think I ever really wanted to play hockey professionally.
This, though? This feels right. Like it’s my destiny. ”
Coach groans as he tips his head back. “You’re killing me, Woods. Killing. Me,” he says, making me chuckle.
“Sorry,” I lie.
I’m not sorry. Not at all. I’ll do anything for Emery and our child.
“How is she handling it? It must be hard being so close to that level of achievement and coming up short.”
“She didn’t come up short,” I snap.
“You know what I mean, Brett.”
I sigh. “She has her moments. Rightfully so.”
He nods. “Well, damn, Brett. I didn’t see this coming.”
Neither did I.
“I appreciate you being a man and coming in here and telling me. I’ll inform the rest of the staff that if you are missing, it’s been cleared ahead of time, so it’s fine. I still expect you back out on that ice. Even if you don’t plan to draft, I need you to help us win this championship.”
“Thank you.”
“Just make sure you take care of your girl.”
“I will, sir.”
I stand, and he does the same.
I reach across his desk and shake his hand. “I’ll see you later at practice,” I tell him.
“Of course, and do me a favor, put on your skates and join us.”
“I’ll think about it,” I lie.
I leave his office and head down the hall.
Instead of heading for the exit, though, I head toward the rink.
I come to a stop and watch a woman skate below.
Even from a distance and with my limited knowledge, I can tell she’s not as good as Emery.
She wobbles in her skates, and her tricks seem more lackluster.
When she comes to a stop, you can tell her coach tells her as much by the way she stomps off after, throwing a fit.
Something Emery would never do.
I shake my head at the sight, and for a moment guilt sets in.
If it weren’t for me, she would be out there on the ice, making a name for herself and taking the skating world by storm.
She’ll be back, though.
I’ll make sure of it. Even if I have to drag her to the rink every morning and force her onto the ice. She will get her moment to shine, and the world will know her name.