Chapter 15
River
W aking up with Lane’s boner poking directly against my behind is one way to put me in a good mood. What I decide to do with it, well, that's entirely up to me.
I smile, rolling over to face him as my eyes study every detail of him while he breathes softly.
His hair has fallen over his forehead, so I carefully brush it away.
The soft curve of his nose leads to the most perfect lips.
The same lips that happened to roam my entire body last night, and just about every night over the last month or so.
A shiver takes over as a flash of his tongue gliding across my abs floods my mind. This man is everything I never deserved. I'll never get enough. Even waking up in bed next to him is a gift.
We’ve taken full advantage of our time off, spending as much of it together as possible. It makes the idea of going back on tour feel more daunting than it would if we were public about our relationship.
Sure, we rub up on each other on stage, and occasionally kiss, but Glen has always preferred we keep things private. He’s just our manager, so ultimately the decision is on us, but I have a feeling we would never hear the end of it .
“Sex sells.”
“You four are a fantasy.”
“You are what they dream about.”
“You’re rock gods, act like it.”
Yeah, we can't disappoint the fans.
All I dream about is being happy. Part of that comes from creating music, but a good portion now comes from the guy lying next to me. He is the calm to the endless thoughts racing through my head. Lane is my landing pad, my safety in the dark that I will always fly toward.
I'll never admit this to any of my bandmates, but this tour has been more draining than it seems. I know Lane has noticed my nightmares are happening more frequently.
I keep trying to reassure him that everything is fine, but when I'm waking up almost every night screaming at the top of my lungs, it's kind of hard to believe.
He wants to fix me, but it's not something that can be fixed, not while we're sitting on our pedestals, allowing the entirety of the world to scrutinize us every day. The more famous Nowhere Forever becomes, the heavier everything feels.
My eyes well up, tears threatening to spill over them as the dark thoughts close in.
None of the fans know me, but they still want me.
They scream and cheer for me. If they knew what my past consisted of, they would be horrified.
The perfect golden-boy image that I’ve cultivated would be forever soiled.
No. I can't think about it. It's just going to make the nightmares worse. This time off was supposed to help, but I think it's doing the exact opposite. My nervous system has been able to slow down, and I’m not completely exhausted every night. There's room for the thoughts to take over.
I’ve found plenty of ways to enjoy our time off and keep myself busy most evenings. Lane has made sure to supply me with an ample amount of orgasms. The way that man is able to wrap his mouth around my dick should be illegal. Sucking dick. Now, that sounds like fun.
I inch closer to my guy and place a hand on his hip.
I can’t see under the blanket, but I’ve been with him enough to memorize every part of his body.
My fingers trail along one side of what forms a perfect V, leading to the bulge I desire.
All I can think about is running my tongue along it, kissing, and sucking any dark thoughts away.
I slide my hand up slightly, grazing across the top of his boxer briefs as I toy with the edge. He’s more than hard now, his breath quickening, and his heart beginning to race. I have a feeling he’s awake, even though his eyes are still closed.
My own heart thumps faster as my cock begs for its own attention. My needs will wait. His pleasure is my focus. My hand dips under the elastic of his boxer briefs, wrapping around his thick length, and he groans, blinking his eyes open.
One, two, three, four, bars glide along my palm as I pump my fist up and down.
Lane was pierced before the two of us started hooking up. His Jacob's Ladder adds the perfect amount of extra pleasure when he’s deep inside me. It’s an experience like no other that works me up enough to explode without ever touching myself.
My hand movements slow, making him jerk his hips forward, craving more.
I run my thumb over his tip, spreading his precum up and down his shaft.
His eyes roll back, and he whimpers just before I press my lips to his, stealing a kiss.
When I pull back, there's a fiery intensity that can only be extinguished with one thing: me.
"Don't play games with me, baby. You started something, and you’d better finish it," his raspy voice threatens as he props himself up, leaning on one of his elbows.
As much as I like to push his boundaries, I have no intention of playing games today. All I want is to make him feel good. I am a people pleaser at heart, after all.
"Who said I wasn't going to finish what I started?" I smirk, sliding down the bed as I gently push his shoulder, forcing his back toward the mattress.
"River. Are you after some praise? Should I call you a good boy or a good little slut?"
Yes, I think. You absolutely should. I don't say anything, though. Instead, I rip the blanket off of us and grip the edge of his underwear before pulling them down his legs. He helps by sliding his feet out and spreading his thighs wide for me to settle between.
His rich brown eyes meet mine as I reach out to grip and stroke his cock.
My hand moves up and down a few times, a loud groan rumbling from his chest. Once I’m sure he’s ready for more, I gently press my lips against his tip, watching as he shudders.
It's just a peck, but the way his body responds to my touch would have you thinking it's so much more.
A deep sense of pride consumes me, knowing I can properly please him, but I can tell he’s already greedy for more. His eyes meet mine, darkening slightly before his fingers tangle in my hair. He tugs lightly, and I run my tongue along his length.
"Fuck." He pulls my hair tighter and forces me to look up at him. "Show me what your mouth can do, baby."
I smirk, opening wide and taking all of him at once. The slick, salty precum assaults my taste buds as he guides me up and down, making sure he’s not moving me too fast or hard. When he finally releases his grip on my hair, I go wild, licking and sucking with everything I have.
"Mmmm. Yeah, that's it, just like that. You're such a good boy when you're hungry for cock," he rumbles, making me twitch with need.
Suddenly, I regret putting myself in this position where I can't get any kind of friction to get myself off. I suppose I could lie down and hump the mattress, but where's the fun in that? Waiting for him to finish so he can get me off is always an option, but I want to come with him.
I bob down on his cock, but much deeper this time, making him jerk as a growling, 'fuckkkk', escapes him.
I take advantage of his enhanced pleasure and shift my body, throwing one of my legs over one of his to straddle it.
My free hand reaches into my underwear to free myself, and I let my hard length rest against his leg.
The friction from skin-to-skin contact already has me wanting to explode. Yes, this is exactly what I need.
He laughs. “Would you look at that? My dirty, desperate boy is willing to do anything to get himself off, even if it means dry humping my leg.”
Maybe it’s the degrading words or the fact that I have his shaft in my mouth, but I’ve never been so excited to do exactly what he said.
I grind my hips against his shin over and over, holding in the whimper that almost escapes me.
My hand grips his base, moving in sync with my mouth as I thrust my hip onto his leg.
The friction builds, my body beginning to burn all over.
“Atta boy. Use me.” He moans as his tip hits the back of my throat. I gag, wishing more than ever to move things along because I can feel my impending orgasm.
My free hand reaches down to grip his balls, gently squeezing, as I hollow my cheeks and glide my tongue along his piercings. I keep a quick pace, jerking my hand beneath my mouth when I feel him begin to thrust into my face.
“Keep doing that, baby. I’m so close."
I do exactly that, keeping the same pace and not changing a single thing while continuing to rub myself on his leg. My breath quickens, and my heart slams with every passing second. Just as I start to wonder whether or not I'll be able to wait for him to come first, he cries out.
"Yes!" he grunts, and warm spurts shoot down my throat. I swallow every drop, not letting any of it go to waste. "Fuck, River. Use my leg like the needy slut you are and make yourself come."
I only have to grind on him a few more times before I’m doing what he instructed. My release erupts out of me, spilling across his leg while I jerk and thrust a few more times.
"You sure know the perfect way to wake a guy up." He winks, making me blush, as I pull my mouth off of him and lick my lips.
I bring myself to a seated position, glancing at where my seed coats his leg, and the embarrassment sinks in. Did I really just do that?
"Hey." He pulls my attention away from the sticky substance. "You did so good, baby. Let's go shower."
I nod, thankful he isn't going to make a big deal out of this. I didn't think he would, but I still have so many insecurities when it comes to sex. He’s the first guy I’ve ever been with, and the inexperience puts me in my own head sometimes.
The two of us shower quickly before deciding it's time to emerge from our little bubble. I'm nervous about what we're about to walk in on because there seems to be some really loud yelling coming from our living room. Consider my interest piqued.
As we step out, I barely have time to react, jumping out of the way just in time as a shoe flies past my head. This is even better than I thought it was going to be, some grade-A Ender screw-up entertainment .
"You piece of shit. I never should’ve even given you the time of day. Guys like you are all the same!" Olivia yells.
Why is Olivia in our apartment? She's our tour opener, and the four of us strictly agreed to stay as far away from her as possible.
The woman is a level five psychopath. We've seen the things she's done to the men she sleeps with.
Her specialty is stalking and obsessing before turning on them and doing everything she can to destroy every ounce of their credibility. It's not pretty.
"Fuck you and the rest of your dumbass band," she yells, making me raise a brow. Rude of her to lump Lane and me into whatever Ender did.
"Save yourself some embarrassment, sweetheart, and just go." He rolls his eyes.
My attention bounces between the two of them as they throw jab after jab at one another.
Ender seems wholly unbothered by the entire situation, just sitting on the couch, glancing at her.
If a woman were six inches away from my face, pointing a finger and yelling, I don't know if I’d have the same sort of resolve.
His indifference only makes her more upset, with her entire face burning beet-red. She turns on her heels, not bothering to grab the shoe she tossed in my direction, and makes her way toward our front door.
"Find yourself a new opening act. I'm done with your useless asses."
The door opens and slams behind her, leaving an awkward silence in her wake .
"Did you just literally fuck us out of our tour opener?" Lane rolls his head to the side, glancing over at Ender.
"She wasn't even that good of a singer." He shrugs, not confirming or denying what he did without a care in the world.
"You're calling Glen and breaking this to him. Don't make Nix clean up your problems again." Lane shakes his head as he walks to the refrigerator.
"You know what? Why don't you and your boyfriend go back to your room and leave me the fuck alone? I was doing just fine without you both interrupting with your opinions."
I narrow my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest. "Say what you want if it makes you feel better, but you don’t get to push us away. We’re not your enemy. We’re actually the closest thing you have to family in case you forgot."
Finally, something in him concedes, and he lets out a sigh. "I'll call Glen in the morning to deal with it. For now, it's fine."
"If you say so." I give up, turning to meet Lane, who now has a whole slew of food on the counter.
Ender’s on his own with this. We can’t keep holding his hand through things. He has to start stepping up again and cleaning up his own messes.