Chapter 16
Nix
T he green-eyed beauty I've been spending my days with is the only thing on my mind as loud voices echo through our apartment. I try to tune them out, thinking about how addicting she is, and when I can see her next.
She's a high that I'm determined to experience again and again.
I'm compelled in an all-consuming kind of way and can't find it in me to care.
Everything about her calls out to me. The way the purple streaks flow so perfectly through her wavy black hair makes me want to tangle my fingers in it.
Her septum piercing accentuates the slight curvature of her quaint nose.
I want to press my lips to hers every moment we’re together. It makes me kick myself for waiting a whole month to even speak to her. We could have been enjoying each other for so much longer if I hadn’t been so afraid.
My biological grandparents would have a field day with how out of line Alara makes me act. They would be cracking the whip and forcing me to read from the Bible over and over. This seems like a Proverbs 22:6 kind of moment.
'Start children off the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not stray from it. '
Most wouldn't think that specific verse would justify abusing your grandchild into submission and order, but my grandfather wasn’t like most people.
A loud thump makes my brow furrow from the other room.
"What the fuck is going on out there?" I mutter, rolling out of my bed.
It takes me a minute to pull on some black sweatpants and a pair of socks before I stride down the hallway.
What I find when I enter the living room doesn’t make sense with the noises I heard.
Ender is planted on one of the couches, and Lane and River are in the kitchen eating from a ridiculous amount of food containers.
"Does someone want to tell me what just happened?" I cautiously ask, not sure whether or not I'm prepared for what’s about to be said.
"Ender and Olivia did the nasty." Lane laughs as my mouth falls open.
You have got to be fucking kidding me. We all decided she was off limits.
"Seriously," I toss up my hands, wondering why, of all people, he had to get involved with her.
"Do you want to tell him the best part?" River adds.
"It's not that big of a deal." Ender shakes his head.
"It's a pretty big deal, dickhead," Lane says, with a mouth full of food. A chunk of something flies out, making me curl my lip up in disgust.
"Chew your food. You're–- "
"I told you I would take care of everything," Ender interrupts.
"Wait. Take care of what?" I ask, redirecting my attention to him.
"Olivia quit." Ender lifts one of his hands with a shoulder like this isn't something Glen is going to freak out over.
Ender doesn't care because Glen won't come to him with the issue. No, this will be on me. It'll be my fuck up because I wasn't watching him well enough. I wasn't being the babysitter I'm always expected to be. He fell out of line, and somehow it will be my fault.
"This is exactly why we agreed none of us would go near her. What the hell, man?" I bring my fingers to the bridge of my nose, pinching it.
"It's fine. It won't be hard to find someone to take her place. It's not like she was irreplaceable." He just shrugs again while my eyes fall closed and I process the new information.
I swear to fuck if he shrugs again, I'm not sure I'll be able to control my actions.
I've never been the type to get physical during a disagreement, but his nonchalance might throw me over the edge.
I don't want to deal with this shit. I'm so goddamn tired of cleaning up everyone's messes.
I don't even care that Olivia is gone. She was a bitch, but the fans expect to hear her on tour.
"That's a really messed-up way of thinking. She's replaceable? What are we going to tell the fans expecting to hear her sing?"
"Good thing I don't care," he says, shocking me again.
"He's decided to be a pile of shit tonight," Lane says. "I told him he has to call Glen and deal with finding someone else." Another bit of food flies out of his mouth, landing on the counter. "You know, since it's going to be so easy."
"Can you chew your damn food before you chime in?" I point at his mess.
We need to figure this out. Correction, I need to figure this out because, regardless of what Lane told Ender, everyone knows it's going to be me who fixes this. It always is, which I’m sure is partly why our lovely lead singer is being so nonchalant about the whole thing.
A thought pops into my head.
This is probably a terrible idea, but Alara comes to mind. She can sing. She likes to sing, and I think she wants to make a career out of it. At the bare minimum, she wants to make money. This could make her enough money to set her up for a while.
Whether or not she accepts my suggestion is a whole other issue. She's already said she doesn't want anything from me, but that’s partly why I want to offer it to her and urge her to say yes.
"I might have someone who can replace Olivia. She's not known, but her voice is beautiful, and she knows how to captivate an audience." The words are out of my mouth before I have time to fully think them through.
"So that's where you've been sneaking off to." Ender grins. "Did you go and get yourself a girlfriend, Nix?"
I don't give him the satisfaction of a response because he's in some special kind of mood tonight .
"Do you think she’d be a good fit?" River asks, genuinely curious about who's piqued my interest.
"I do. And best of all, if she's into me, we don't have to worry about him fucking her." I point over to Ender.
"That’s what you think." Ender chuckles, and I glare at him. "See, problem solved already. And Lane thought it would be a big deal."
Lane drops all his food, wiping his mouth with his forearm before striding over to Ender. Here we go.
"It's still a big deal. When are you going to grow up? Work through your fucking shit, man? This has gotten completely out of hand.”
River strides over and places his palm on Lane’s shoulder, trying to calm him down.
"No." Lane shrugs him off. "I'm tired of Ender always acting like a child. He doesn't get to go through the motions like none of this matters. We went through the same shit he did, but he keeps using it to justify being an asshole."
I take a deep breath. Yep, he went there. Ender's eyes narrow as he stands up.
"The same shit?" he asks, tilting his head. "You really think you went through the same things I did?"
"Yes. The same shit. You weren't the only one to lose both of them." Lane doubles down.
"Fuck you, Lane," Ender spits before shoving his shoulders. "Rocky was my brother. She was– "
"No," Lane interrupts him. "You don't get to use her as an excuse. You could have reached out. Regardless of what Glen said, YOU could have called her instead of sulking. Then you made that stupid rule that we can’t even talk about her.
Get the fuck over yourself. Rocky might have been your brother, but he was like family to River and me, too. "
"You don't even know what you're talking about." Ender shoves Lane’s chest this time.
"Touch me again, and you'll fucking regret it," Lane warns.
Things have gotten tense between the two of them before, but it's never escalated to physical violence.
Whatever has gotten into Ender tonight has him on a whole other level.
My eyes go wide when he pushes Lane again.
This time, Lane doesn't hesitate. Instead of backing down, he brings his fist up and punches Ender square in the face.
"What the fuck?!" Ender yells while backing away, slightly disoriented.
"I told you not to touch me. Get your shit together, or this will be the one and only tour this band goes on. I'm done with you and the pity party you've been giving yourself."
With that, Lane grabs River by the hand and pulls him out of the room. A door slams in the distance moments later.
"Asshole," Ender mutters under his breath before making his way to the refrigerator.
"You provoked him, and you know it," I say, siding with Lane .
"Screw you, too." Ender grunts as he grabs a pack of frozen vegetables from the freezer before slamming it shut and stalking toward his room.
I'm left speechless. As messy as tonight was, it kind of worked itself into the perfect opportunity to not have to say goodbye to Alara when we leave for tour again.
Call me selfish, but I don't like the idea of our time being limited.
If she agrees to be our new opener, she will be right where I'd like to keep her, next to me.