21. Lilah
21
LILAH
“It’s pretty obvious Lombardi isn’t in charge of whatever’s going on,” Jude said.
Even though it was first thing in the morning, he looked good. It shouldn’t have surprised me — one of the things I’d been forced to admit in the privacy of my own mind was that my three new roommates always looked good, which only added insult to the injury of relying on them for a roof over my head — but somehow it still did.
I tried not to stare at the flex of his biceps as he rubbed at the gold stubble along his chiseled jaw, but I had to look somewhere, and the strain of his dark blue T-shirt across his chest and cut biceps was no better.
I tried for his face instead and was immediately sucked into his soulful brown eyes.
Godammit.
I shoved a huge bite of pancake into my mouth, both because Nolan’s chocolate chip pancakes were the best and I wasn’t about to let them get cold and because it gave me something to focus on besides Jude’s model-perfect face and body. “You think Mr. Suit is in charge.”
I felt hot, like I might be getting a fever.
“Don’t you?” Nolan asked.
I didn’t have to think too hard about it before nodding. “Probably. Vic’s actually pretty dumb.”
“We tried casing the place,” Jude explained.
“The Dive?” I couldn’t hide my surprise. They’d given no hint that they cared one way or another about the situation — the girls who were being kidnapped, my own state of limbo.
None of it.
“Yeah, the Dive,” Rafe said, clearly irritated by the whole convo. “Where else?”
Nolan cut a glare at Rafe. “We tried staking out the Dive in case Mr. Suit showed up, but he never did.”
“How often did he come around?” Rafe asked me.
“I wasn’t exactly keeping track.” I took a drink of coffee. Was there anything better than good black coffee with carby, syrupy-sweet pancakes in the morning? “But maybe… every few weeks?”
“It’s been a few weeks since they tried to grab you,” Jude said, “so either Mr. Suit is due for a visit soon or he’s steering clear in case you go to the cops.”
I rolled my eyes. “Like that would do any good.”
I’d already thought about the cop angle, but it didn’t take a genius to know how that would go down: they’d look at me like I was a hysterical woman and probably ask if I was turning tricks at the Dive. Then they’d look into my background, realize I’d been inpatient in a psych ward, and — maybe — pay a visit to Vic to ask him about my accusations, after which they’d all have a good laugh about how I was probably due for another round of “rest” at Oak Hill.
“We know that and you know that,” Jude said, “but Mr. Suit might still be gun-shy about the possibility.”
“You’re not telling me anything I don’t know here,” I said.
“Do you or do you not want to hear what we’re doing?” Rafe asked, his voice tight.
I looked at him, intending to give him what I hoped would be a withering glare, then remembered he was just as hot as Jude. Usually Rafe’s personality deficits were enough to keep my lust in check, but the longer I lived with the Bastards the hornier I seemed to become.
A good personality wasn’t on the list of attributes desired by my body.
Apparently.
“I do, but maybe get to it sooner rather than later,” I said, hoping to remind myself that Rafe Maddox was, in fact, too insufferable even for a fantasy.
Rafe opened his mouth to respond but Nolan broke in. “The only way to identify Mr. Suit without laying eyes on him ourselves is to trace his car.”
“I already told you I didn’t get the license plate,” I said.
“There are cameras,” Jude said. “Not at the Dive — more proof Lombardi is dumb as fuck — but at the intersections around it.”
“Plus the gas station down the street,” Nolan said. “And at Pink.”
Pink was a strip club less than half a mile from the Dive. We used to get groups of guys in all the time, pregaming before heading to Pink (those ones weren’t too bad) or postgaming afterward (those ones were handsy and obnoxious).
I had to hand it to the Bastards, I’d never even thought about looking into traffic cams or security cameras used by the surrounding businesses. Although to be fair, I’d been pretty busy trying to stay alive.
That was the thing no one understood about being in survival mode: there were all these things you could do to make your situation better, all these things you should do to make it better, but you spent so much energy treading water to keep from drowning that doing anything to try and pull yourself out of the undertow seemed impossible.
Still, knowing there were cameras around the Dive didn’t mean the Bastards had access to them.
I poured more syrup on my pancakes. “How do traffic cams and cameras at Pink help us?”
“Do you think Mr. Suit teleported to the Dive?” Rafe sneered.
“Contrary to what you may think,” I said, “I’m not stupid. I just don’t see how cameras owned by the town or some random business help when we don’t have access to them.”
“Who said we don’t have access to them?” Rafe asked.
I stared at him, my fork halfway to my mouth with another bite. “Do you?”
“Not directly,” Nolan said.
I looked at him. Somewhere along the way, Nolan had become my safe space. Not because he wasn’t sexy as all get out — I was still recovering from the image of him across from me in the hot tub, his dark hair damp, chest flexed as he stretched out his arms on the edge — but because I’d been forced to trust him.
It was Nolan who took my blood pressure once a day, who listened to my heart. He was the one who made sure I took my meds, who asked about my circulation.
He was also the one I’d talked to the most, because the hours he’d spent monitoring my AVS over the last month meant we’d spent a lot of time together.
Plus, he had apologized for what he’d done to me in high school.
It didn’t make it right, but it was something.
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“We know someone,” Jude said, threading his pencil between his fingers. “Someone who can get access to the cameras.”
I sat up straighter. “Really?”
Jude nodded. “Really.”
“Will they do it?” I asked.
Part of me wanted to run away and never look back. Leave Blackwell Falls and the Dive and especially the Bastards — the three men who’d become the biggest unanswerable question in my life — behind.
But I couldn’t leave Matt. For better or worse, I needed to figure this out, get clear of Vic and Mr. Suit so I could rescue Matt from my mom.
“Already done,” Rafe said, getting up.
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“Our contact’s been working on it,” Jude said. “We’re headed to talk to her today.”
I stood. “I’m going too.”
“No, you’re not.” Rafe was almost to the hall and didn’t bother looking back.
“Yes, I am,” I called after him.
Jude looked at Nolan. “Are you getting the boards or am I?”