Chapter Thirty-Seven #2
Confusion riddled her brow as she took it, and gasped when she saw Brian’s face on the screen. Her gaze flicked to Zander with disbelief, then back to the screen. “Brian.” Her voice cracked.
“Happy birthday, Shauna.” Brian’s voice was rough but happy, his eyes clear and sharp. “You staying out of trouble?”
Zander stepped away, struggling against the tug in his chest. She’d lit up in a different way at the sight of Brian than she did with Zander.
He’d wondered if she would. Or maybe he’d known she would.
It was Brian, after all. Her comrade in arms. The one she’d run away with, sacrificed for, and loved with a piece of herself Zander could never touch.
He’d known that from the start, but he hadn’t expected to feel so much, and it gutted him.
He stuck by the hibachi, trying not to eavesdrop, but Shauna remained too close for him not to hear their conversation.
They asked after each other, and Brian told her how well he was doing and how much he missed her.
She did the same, omitting how close she and Zander had gotten and their honeymoon, with a simple, He’s been great.
Zander tried to ignore the way that stung, but he knew she didn’t want Brian knowing they’d had to get married.
“I wish I was there with you,” Brian said.
“Me too, but you’re doing what you need to, and I’m so proud of you.”
“You sure you’re okay?” Brian asked, his tone somber.
“Yes. I’m great, but I’ll be even better when you come home.”
“The next two weeks can’t go fast enough. You’re still picking me up?”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Someone called to Brian from off-screen, and he said, “I’ve got to go. I love you.”
Zander looked over just in time to see Shauna’s smile tremble as she said, “I love you, too,” and ended the call. She closed her eyes, holding the phone to her chest, and inhaled deeply before turning to Zander, her shaky smile lingering as she handed him the phone. “Thank you.”
He pocketed his phone. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” She swiped at her tears.
“Would you like to talk about it?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m okay, really. But I am curious, did you arrange that call, or did Brian reach out to you?”
“I arranged it,” he admitted. “I figured you needed to see that he was okay, and I thought the way he left things with you, he might appreciate an olive branch and need to see you, too.”
“I think we both needed it, thank you for thinking of us,” she said unevenly.
“Always. Listen, I know you will be there for Brian as much as you can, but you can’t be his only support.”
“I know. I’ve already looked into meetings, and I’m going to take him to one after he’s settled in back home. It could take a while to find him a sponsor, so for now, I’m the only one he’s got.”
“He’s got me, too, and my family.”
“I’d never do that to you,” she said vehemently.
“You’re not doing anything to me. I was there when things went bad, and I’m not going to let him flounder or let you shoulder it all by yourself.
You’re scheduled to work the day after he comes home.
He’s going to need someone to be there, to go to meetings with him, and tell him how great he’s doing. I’ll be there.”
Her brows knitted, and she pressed her lips together. “You’re serious?”
“Dead serious. I talked with Preacher and the guys, and they’re all on board.
Preacher brought it up at church this week, and a few of our members are sponsors.
They’re willing to take Brian on if he’s comfortable with any of them, and if he’s not, then we’ll reach out to others until we find someone he is comfortable with. ”
She looked up at the sky, blinking at tears, and shaking her head.
“Don’t shake your head at me, darlin’. I told you that first night, once you’re in our world, we’ll always have your back.” He was about to reach for her when she cleared her throat and drew her shoulders back in the show of strength he knew so well.
“Well, Mr. Wicked, your review just shot up to twelve stars, and that call is at the top of my Best Birthday Gift list right alongside breakfast in bed.”
She looked at him with as much strength as deeper emotion, and as much as he wanted to pull her closer, he knew she needed the space, and granted it.
They grilled burgers and sat on the nest of blankets and pillows, talking about their day while they ate.
When they finished eating, he pushed to his feet in the bed of the truck and reached for her hand, pulling her up to her feet.
“Time to get out of the truck for dessert.” He pulled her up to her feet.
“That sounds questionable,” she said as they climbed down.
“As much as I’d like to do dirty things to you in this field, I think Cap would have my ass in a sling if I tried.” He pulled her in for a kiss, then smacked her ass and said, “Turn around, darlin’.”
“What are you up to?” she asked as she turned around.
“You’ll see.” He took the chocolate-frosted cupcake with rainbow sprinkles out of the cooler and put it on a plate, then stuck a sparkler in the center of it and lit it. “Happy birthday, Angel.”
She turned around, and her face lit up brighter than the sun as sparks flew. “A sparkler! I love it! Can I…?” She reached for it.
“Go for it. I brought a whole box of them.”
She snagged the sparkler and let out a little squeal as she ran across the grass drawing shapes in the air with it. “Look! Zan!”
The truth he’d been trying to deny hit him like a punch to the gut.
He wanted more of this. More of her. He didn’t just want to see her smile or hear her laugh as she experienced the shock and delight of discovering new things.
He wanted to be the man who brought her those experiences and earned those stunning reactions.
He wanted to be the man who made her coffee and ate her burned casseroles, and he wanted it every day of their lives.
He wasn’t sure what to do with those feelings, given everything between Shauna and Brian, and the end of their arrangement closing in on them, so he shoved them down deep to deal with another time, and pulled out his phone, taking pictures and a video of his excited girl.
He may not have forever figured out, but she was his wife for now, and he wasn’t going to let anything ruin it.
“Light two more!” she called out. “One for each of us!”
He did, and for a little while, Zander set everything else aside and became a kid again with her, dueling with sparkler swords, drawing pictures in the air, and laughing like his heart wasn’t growing too big for his chest.
When she’d had her fill, they headed back to the truck. “That was so fun!” she exclaimed. “What a perfect birthday.”
“I have one more present for you, Angel.”
“Another one? You’ve already spoiled me rotten.”
“Hardly.” He opened the back door of his truck and grabbed the large gift box with a red ribbon tied around it.
Her eye widened. “That’s huge.”
He smirked.
“You have such a dirty mind.” She whispered, “I like it!” as she took the box and set it on the tailgate to untie the ribbon.
She lifted the top, and her breath caught, those pretty eyes moving over the fabric cover of the memory album with Shauna and Zander’s Excellent Adventure embroidered on another piece of striped fabric with rough edges made to look like a torn piece of paper.
A shaky laugh fell from her lips, and “Zander…?” followed, an incredulous whisper.
Her gaze flicked to him as she lifted the thick memory book out of the box.
“You know all those nights I said I was working on a project?”
“Yeah.”
“This was the project. I was at Maverick and Chloe’s. She helped me put it together. I’m sorry I lied to you, but I didn’t want to order a memory book online or let Chloe make it on her own. I wanted to decide what went on the pages, and all the rest.”
Her eyes went glassy. “I love that you did that.”
She opened the album, running her fingers around the pictures, four on each page, decorated with items from each event.
They weren’t posed photos, but real-life candid shots of Shauna cuddling Kitty when she’d first moved in, already looking like she belonged with them, and of her sitting on the counter tiling the backsplash, which he’d taken when she wasn’t looking.
She lingered on a picture he’d taken of them lying on a lounge chair in the early-morning light, Shauna’s cheek resting on his bare chest beside the number four charm around his neck.
Above the picture he’d written Our Lucky Charms. On one side of the page, he’d written Yours with an arrow pointing to the necklace, and on the other side of the page he’d written Mine with an arrow pointing to her.
On the same page was a picture of his hand covering hers, the tattoo of her initials on his finger and the tattooed number four on her hand, as clear as day.
There were pictures of glitter between couch cushions taken weeks after the Kitty debacle, and of the two of them having ice cream the day they’d bought their wedding rings. He’d glued the napkin that she’d written Prenup on to the page, which made her laugh.
Her fingers trailed over pictures of their wedding—Shauna walking down the aisle with Cap, looking nervous in one picture, and in the next, the two of them standing before Preacher with something akin to hope in their eyes.
Zander’s chest burned when she touched the picture of them kissing.
Man, that kiss. He felt the same burn in his chest as he’d felt then.
She lingered over candid shots of her rubbing noses with Marybelle, one of his favorites, and laughing with the girls.
There were pictures of her with his parents and his grandfather, and pictures of her and Zander talking with his brothers and cousins, his arm slung over her shoulder and so much pride in his eyes, he wondered if she could feel it.
She admired page after page of memories he’d never forget.
Shauna drenched and gorgeous on the boat by the falls only moments before they’d given in to the unrelenting heat between them.
She smiled at the pictures of their suite, one room messy with their belongings, the other untouched, and the basket on the table with sparkling cider instead of champagne, which she’d found out Zander had requested.
Above the pictures he’d written Your room or mine?
He’d taken a picture of their suite number, which she hadn’t noticed until he’d pointed it out.
404. Shauna laughed at a picture of a pile of empty French vanilla creamer cups stacked like trophies on the table in the café where they’d had breakfast on their honeymoon.
When she came to pictures from the amusement park, she pointed to one of her behind the wheel of the go-kart, grinning like she was queen of the track, and said, “I don’t remember you taking this.”
“That was the point.”
She shook her head at the picture of her flying through the air on the zipline. “I was so scared.”
“But you did it anyway, because nothing can hold Shauna Flores down.”
There were dozens of selfies of the two of them smiling, scowling, laughing, and making funny faces, with paint-smeared cheeks, holding ice cream cones, sitting by the ocean, holding coffee cups, and with Kitty in her cut and other outfits.
There were pictures of them at the gym and of Shauna practicing on the pole in the dining room, and a montage of Shauna in a towel after a shower, hand on her hip, giving him grief for taking the picture, and of her brushing her teeth, putting up her hair, and another of her curled up in his bed wearing one of his Dark Knights T-shirts with Kitty tucked against her stomach, the two of them fast asleep.
When she turned the last page, taking in the picture he’d taken on their honeymoon right before they’d gone for their first motorcycle ride, she studied it.
She was sitting behind him on the bike, wearing her shiny new helmet and leather jacket, her arms wrapped around his middle and her chin resting on his shoulder.
She couldn’t know that behind his helmet, he was grinning so hard, his cheeks hurt with the memory.
Above the picture he’d scrawled Thanks for getting swept away with me, Angel, and under the picture, he’d signed it Love, Zander, your irresistibly Wicked best friend, and included ten gold stars beneath it.
It was all there, their friendship and temporary marriage laid bare, looking realer than he’d ever admit out loud, and the thought of losing it carved an ache too deep to name.
“Zan, this is…” Her voice trailed off as she closed the album, her glassy eyes still trained on it.
“I’m glad you like it. Our marriage may be temporary, but our memories are forever.”
“You’ve given me everything I could have asked for and more.” She lifted her gaze to his, a thousand emotions flickering in her eyes. She hugged the album to her chest, her lips parting like she might say more, but then she looked away.
He felt her walls going up again.
She turned back to him with just enough distance for him to feel the difference and said, “I can’t believe how fast the time went.” She reached for the box the album had come in and said, “Hopefully when I call the attorney, it’ll get things moving quickly.”
He watched the woman he wanted more than anything in the world tuck their memories into a box like she could put the lid on it and they wouldn’t bleed through. She had given him her trust, had shared her body and her heart—and she just reminded him that they weren’t his to keep.