33. Nico
33
NICO
WE LOVE A MAN WHO COMES IN HIS PANTS FROM EATING PUSSY
F inding Marie passed out on the floor of our living room at 3 am was not how I thought my compulsive nature would come to be challenged. The part of me that’s obsessed and in love with her needed to care for her, take all her worries away. And the rational part understood it wouldn’t help her.
I ran the rug in the bedroom raw with my pacing. I smoked a whole pack of cigarettes in the span of three hours, helpless and on edge. I counted her breaths until I dozed off myself, waking up with a kink in the neck from how I leaned on the chair I had placed in front of her bed. Giulia handed Ember over and asked too many questions that I refused to answer, after I texted her. I couldn’t leave Marie’s bedside. And I needed my baby girl with me. At least then, I had someone I could tend to.
That was four days ago. Four days staying with Marie and Ember, cooped up in our house. But it’s not good for her. I don’t think I realised it before but it’s claustrophobic.
I come behind her as she prepares a soup for dinner. It’s my favourite way to hold her. When I can nestle against her back and run my hands against ample flesh, feeling quickly how affected she gets by me. But tonight, for the second night in a row, she pulls away, pretending to take more ingredients from the fridge.
“You don’t want me to touch you?” I ask.
“Oh no, of course you can touch me, but I’m almost done, so we can eat soon. Can you set the table?”
The levity of her voice and the bad, fake excuse have my hackles rising and my heart plummeting at my feet. But I let her. She’s going through her own process and so far, she’s kept her promise, telling me when she feels like drinking. It’s usually right before we go to bed, so we’ve taken to watching movies together on the couch until she passes out from exhaustion around 1 or 2 am. It’s not healthy but I’m out of my depth. I read about coping mechanisms and the healing process all night on my phone but I can’t help her if she doesn’t want to get better. And I know she does. Just at her own pace.
She loves Ember but I think she needs a social life, to understand what she loves and hates, to find herself and who she is when she doesn’t take care of others like she doesn’t matter.
Two days later, I drive her and Ember to meet with Giulia and my mother at her favourite cafe in the centre of West Hill.
“Oh, no I don’t have battery anymore,” Marie complains with an edge of anxiety. When we stay connected through text, she’s more settled and I also don’t want her to run into the possibility of not being able to stay in touch.
“I have one extra in the glove box. Take it.”
After she exits the car with Ember, I track the little yellow dot on my phone that indicates her location. Next to it are a green one and a blue one, each belonging to the other two women in my family. The three of them spend the afternoon together while Andrea and I take Ember for a stroll through the forest. For some reason, he wanted to carry her. The sling wrapped around his massive torso looks comical, but his bear paw of a hand is carefully holding Ember’s head, giving him the perfect uncle aura.
“You’re good with her,” I tell him and he grunts his agreement.
“There’s not much to do, honestly. She looks at me with those big Moretti-green eyes and I’m a goner.”
“It’s good you enjoy her company so much because she’s gonna become mine officially soon.”
His head wipes up so fast I’d almost think he’s gonna throw his neck. It’s funny how his eyes widen. It betrays his surprise though it should be a given since I’ve been taking care of Ember and Marie non-stop since they moved in with me.
“What do you mean?” he asks.
“She might not be my blood but she’s mine. Marie and I will make it official soon.” I shrug, then brace for another onslaught of questions when he opens his goddamned mouth. I don’t understand what’s so difficult to understand. My mum got it the first time I told her last night.
“So, I take it that things have escalated between Marie and you?”
“If by escalated, you mean ‘sex’, then yes.”
He coughs, a fucking hell muttered low. “I don’t need to know you bang my wife’s little cousin, fratellino . Though, now I owe my wife twenty thousand pounds, thank you very much. I was talking about whatever you two are. Like, are you even a couple?”
“We’re together. We’ve always been together,” I tell him. That’s always been crystal clear in my mind. We were meant to be from the first moment I laid eyes on her. The fact that I didn’t share that with my brother doesn’t change that my intentions with Marie have remained steady for a year now. I remember how skittish she had been at Christmas last year and how she now seeks my touch.
“You’ve always been together,” he parrots, then scoffs. “Does she know that? Does she even know your intention regarding Ember?”
“She will.”
“Don’t be fucking cryptic.”
I stop walking and turn to face him fully, sighing with annoyance. “Listen Andrea, I love her and she loves me. I’m making her and my baby mine soon, but we have shit to work through, first.” He doesn’t need to know about her struggles. That’s for her to share, if she ever wants to.
Andrea raises his hands in surrender. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay.”
We remain planted in our position for what feels like hours, standing off like in a movie. Until a cheeky grin spreads over his bearded cheeks. “I’m an uncle.” Then his head drops down to look at Ember. “Did you hear that, Bibi? I’m your zio Andrea. You’ll say ‘zio’ before ‘ papa’ , won’t you, principessa ?”
“You’re ridiculous.”
My brother smirks, then his face turns grave. “I haven’t seen you so happy since Dad died.”
I shrug. “Maybe I’ve atoned enough and Marie and Ember are my reward, you know. And even if I’m undeserving, I’ll never let them go.”
Andrea stops abruptly, a hand on my chest that he carefully removes once I’ve stopped next to him. His frown is so deep, it changes the grooves of his face. “What do you mean ‘atone’?” He sounds angry and I don’t get it.
“It was my fault that Dad died that night, and?—”
“I’m gonna stop you right there, fratellino . If someone’s responsible, it’s me for not protecting you, and the man who planned it all. Not you. You were sixteen, for Christ’s sake. Have you been feeling guilty for a fucking decade?”
I stay silent because he already knows the answer and no matter how many times he tells me it’s not my fault, that’s not gonna change how I view the event that changed our lives forever.
Andrea slides a hand over his face and sighs. “Fucking hell, maybe Giulia’s right.”
“About?”
“We need therapy.”
I scoff but he doesn’t. “I’m serious, Nico. It wasn’t your fault and Mama never thought so either.”
“Then, it wasn’t your fault either,” I declare. It won’t erase the grief or a decade of habits to tone down the guilt, but it’s a start.
Andrea’s new found love of his niece gets me funny in my stomach, but in a good way. He told Giulia of our conversation, of course. They have no secrets for each other. In return, she gave me the ‘hurt my cousins and I’ll kill you’ talk. I pretended to be very scared, refusing to reveal that if there’s one of us who has the potential to hurt the other, it’s all Marie. She could wreck me with one word, one decision, one move. She’d destroy me if she’d walk away. Not that I’d allow that to ever happen.
With Ember tucked in at Andrea and Giulia’s for the evening, I’m left with my resilient, beautiful girl. The package I ordered arrived this afternoon and I’m bouncing on my feet with excitement. That’s a new feeling, one I’m enjoying immensely. When she’ll see what I have in store for her, I doubt she’ll avoid me like she has done for the past few days. She won’t be able to resist.
As always, it’s all about control.
After we have dinner of homemade—by Andrea—lasagna, we settle on the sofa. I asked my brother to watch Ember so I could have a proper date with Marie. I have a surprise for her.
She goes to sit next to me and I pull her up on my lap. I groan as she lands on my dick with her perfect ample cheeks.
With a petulant sound coming from the back of her throat, she faces me and clasps my chin, sending a thrill through my veins that ignites my entire body. “You’re getting presumptuous and bratty, I see. Don’t take my lack of discipline for you for weakness, understood?”
“Yes, Miss Marie. I’m sorry, I just needed to touch you.”
“I don’t care. Get on your knees.” Her voice is like a sinful whip licking my skin with the promise of pain. She’s never been so stern, eyes dark yet feigning cold indifference.
She stands and I drop to my knees like a dog at her master’s feet. When she sits back down, her silence fills the room and shifts the energy around us, until the thread that links us together grows taunt, ready to snap. Her head tilts to the side. What I would give to be in her mind right now. All I can do is wait, skin buzzing and heart thrumming inside my chest.
“Remove your belt and hand it to me,” she orders and I fumble to present it to her with both hands.
Last time she used a belt was when we fucked. I can almost feel the sensation of the leather wrapping around my neck and she hasn’t even touched me yet. I open my mouth to beg but her eyes snap up to mine, an eyebrow raised in challenge. I snap it shut and Marie hums with approval, sending a new wave of intoxication through my bloodstream.
Agonisingly slowly, she opens her legs and motion for me to crawl and settle in between with her right index and middle fingers. Her wide-legged brown trousers are soft to the touch as I lay my hands on her thighs and I force myself not to move more than she allows me. That’s already a transgression but she doesn’t say anything. Her satisfaction is written across her face in the soft smile and peachy hue of her skin. Marie takes her time to let the leather glide at the back of my neck before she loops it at the front for her makeshift leash.
“I need to get you something better than this,” she breathes, admiring her handy work and recline against the sofa.
She might have told me she loves me. “You want to collar me?” I ask in a tone that betrays my hope and happiness. Not that I have anything to hide from her anyway. I don’t hide my feelings for her ever. But I don’t think she knows what this means.
“Is that what it’s called?”
“Yes. And it’s a big deal, Marie,” I say, breaking the scene for a moment. She can’t offer to collar me in the middle of a scene and not mean it. It’s like asking someone to marry you when you’re drunk or high. We’ll both be filled with oxytocin and you don’t make that type of decision unless you’re sure, and sober. Both for sex and substances. “A collar isn’t only a toy in the BDSM community. I mean, it could be, but it wouldn't be for me. If you collar me, that’s it. You’re it. I will never let you go.”
She frowns but the promise of forever, instead of making her run, has her eyes gleaming. “Can’t you just use it during sex and then remove it?”
“Some people do. But that’s not who I am. If you collar me, you own me. And I take that commitment seriously, Marie.”
Time seems suspended as she takes her time to respond. I get lost in her green irises, and I hope she sees the love I have for her in mine. I’m not going anywhere and I’m not letting her destroy herself.
Eventually, she leans forward and kisses me. It’s tender, only a pass of her lips on mine. I like it a lot. I love all the ways she kisses me but that small one, with raw emotions coming to the surface, it’s my favourite.
“I think I might like that, but I’m not ready yet,” she declares.
“I’ll wait.”
She beams at me before dropping back into character, her smile turning salacious. “Show me you deserve it, baby.”
She doesn’t need to tell me twice. I help her out of her trousers and take my time unbuttoning her white blouse until I remove it completely. The little lace set she has under is a deep crimson colour that reminds me of blood and brings me back to when she watched me exert justice.
“ Fuck , Miss Marie. You’re the most beautiful being I’ve ever seen.”
My mouth drops to her neck, leaving a trail of kisses on my way down. I don’t let any inch of perfect skin untouched and unloved, licking in between her breasts and biting the nipples over the fabric of her bra, peppering her soft stomach with kisses that awaken goosebumps. When I kiss her inner thigh, Marie hisses but I don’t get anywhere near her pussy, choosing to massage her legs instead. I start at the right ankle, moving through deep tension on her calf and then up her thigh, getting closer to where her leg meets the rest of her body but never giving her any release.
“I know what you’re doing,” she says, then hums deep when I press my fingers on her other calf.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just showing you how much I deserve to be yours, Miss Marie.”
She regards me with a deadpan expression and I can’t help but chuckle, the sound unnerving. “You’re so beautiful when you laugh, Nico.” She pulls on the leash and I follow gladly, ending with my stomach flush against the apex of her thighs, as she wraps an arm around my neck and kisses me. Before I’m satiated, she withdraws, the leather taunt between us as she chokes me a little and whispers against my lips, “Finish what you started, baby.”
I drop my head down towards her centre and breathe her in, her sweet arousal coating the fabric of her panties with a pretty dark spot for me. I move my mouth over the fabric, teasing. A sharp gasp escapes me when she pulls on my hair roughly.
“Don’t be a fucking tease or I’ll make you come so much you’ll beg me to stop.”
Why she would think that’s a threat is beyond me but I’m done denying us both what we want. Her dark side came out to play, and I’m here to satisfy it.
Her hand presses at the back of my head and I move her panties to the side, entering her with my tongue straight away and tasting her slick cunt. Like the first time, it’s a hit straight to my nervous system. She doesn’t let go of my head and pulls on the leash, cutting my airflow and I grow so fucking hard. I don’t dare humping the sofa underneath me but fuck, I want to. My head swims with the lack of oxygen but I continue to eat her out, never letting up. I lose sense of time as my tongue circles her clit the way she likes. When black appears on the edge of my vision, I tap her thigh twice and she immediately releases the belt. The rush is immediate and makes me float, my body barely my own.
“Shit, Nico, I’m sorry. Are you okay? Give me a colour, baby.”
I lift my head to mouth ‘orange’ then dive back into the perfect place I want to die in between.
“You’re doing so good, baby. You’re making me feel so good. God, I’m gonna come.”
Her chants and praises combined with the taste of her need is too much. I clasp her thighs harder and she lets go, framing my face with her thighs and making me come without even touching me. I moan and groan along with her as we share our release.
I straighten up and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand, breathing hard. Marie is slumped on the sofa, a silly grin all over her pretty face. “Did you just come from eating me out?”
“Fuck yeah, I did. You’re the best meal I’ve ever had, Miss Marie. How could I not?”
Maybe there’s a stigma around coming in your pants without someone touching you, but I haven’t grown up with toxic men around me. The only one was my workaholic father, who loved my mother like she was the sun, and my stupid brother who always annoyed me in private and fought for me in public. And if Marie gets this blissed out, freshly fucked and smug as fuck expression when I do, I’m okay with a repeat.
“Let’s get cleaned up, shall we?”
“So fucking proper,” she jokes but lets me pull her up and drag her to the bathroom where I get down on my knees again because I wasn’t joking. She’s the best thing I’ve ever had.
When we finally reach the bedroom, both wrapped in nothing but fluffy towels, Marie immediately notices the pink package on the bed and turns a quizzical look my way before taking it in her hand and unwrapping it.
It’s comical how she turns the box in her hands multiple times before deciding to read the back, gasping softly as understanding dawns on her. “What is this?” she asks.
“I believe now that you’ve read the instructions at least twice, you know exactly what it is.” I snake my arms around her body, inhaling her soft peachy perfume and biting softly at her neck. “Do you want to use it?”
She giggles, actually giggles. And fuck if that’s not giving me life.
“Yes, I want to fuck your tight little ass, Nico.” She reverses our positions and places a hand on my chest, pushing me until the back of my knees hit the bed and I have nowhere to run and hide. “I want to watch you take it like a good boy, and come all over yourself when I stroke your cock while I fuck you.”
The whimper that leaves my lips is pathetic and I know she loves it by the way a sinister smile takes over her face. “It’s clean. You can use it now if you want,” I tell her and it comes out breathy and pleading.
“Look at you, so needy to be fucked. Where’s the lube, baby?”
When I signal to the night table, she retrieves it with graceful movement. A predator about to play with her prey. She’s never been this sure of herself, this magnificent. And I’m the lucky fucker who gets to be owned by her. The weight of the responsibility would make a lesser man crumble but once she’s done owning my body, I’ll be the one holding her hand on her journey to get better. And that is the privilege of my life.
Slowly, she opens the lid of the box and takes out its content, the black strap coming out first, then the silicon cock, also black. Marie doesn’t like colours so it wasn’t hard to choose. I watch as she reverently caresses the dildo and turns it into her hand, getting familiar with it. She locks it into place on the strap like she’s done it many times before and my mouth waters with need. I’ve often wondered what it would be like to take a cock inside my mouth, but never wanted to try it in real life, happy to leave it be a fantasy, a far away possibility.
She drops her towel and sets it aside on the nearby love seat, then takes three steps back, never breaking eye contact with me. My hands fists the sheets at my side as she steps into the strap and adjusts it to her thighs and hips.
She stands in her power, and there’s nothing else for me to do but drop to my knees and crawl the short distance between us, towel discarded behind me. When I settle at her feet, pure instincts and dark arousal guide us. She orients her cock towards my mouth and I greedily take it in between my lips.
“Fuck, you look so good with your mouth full,” she murmurs and I preen at the praise. “Give me a colour.”
I withdraw just enough to say “green” before taking her into my mouth again. My balls are heavy with the need to come again, the act of sloppily licking and sucking making me dizzy with lust. My hand inches closer to where I need it but Marie’s sinful voice whips through my foggy mind.
“Don’t touch your cock, baby. Your cum is mine, understood?” I nod best I can, caressing her legs instead, worshipping movements to satiate my want. But it’s not enough and I whine low.
Marie pulls away from my mouth and takes hold of my chin.
“Give me your safe-word again, baby,” she asks softly, eyes glazed like I’m sure mine must be, too.
“Fire,” I answer before she leans down and her tongue delves into my mouth, showing me who owns me. As if I’d ever forget. Her kiss consumes me.
“Good boy. Now, on the bed, on your back.” Her command is soft and sweet, pouring love straight into my heart. Once I’m settled against the cushions and pillows, my dick at attention against my stomach, I wait. Anticipation is a powerful drug, making me squirm under Marie’s watchful gaze. Her dark green eyes rove over my body agonisingly slowly but I don’t make a move. Obedient and hers to command.
Finally, she closes the short distance to the bed. It dips with her weight as she crawls to settle in between my open legs. Our roles and positions are exactly the opposite of what we shared a few nights ago and it’s not lost on me that in that vulnerable moment in between, I’m her equal. I can stop this anytime I want. I can change my mind. Or I can give myself over to her like she did me when I got inside her. I hope she won’t run and self-destruct again like she did that time. The anxiety sends a cold shiver up my spine and Marie’s hand reaches my cheek, bringing me back to the present moment. “You stop whenever you need.”
I nod.
“You look so perfect for me, baby. Such a gift you’re giving me. You’re gonna let me own this body, aren’t you?”
“Yes, Miss Marie.”
“And you’re gonna moan loud for me, letting me know how much you love it when I own that tight ass of yours?”
I let out a groan as she takes hold of my cock and squeezes. “Yes, Miss Marie.”
The bottle of lube clicks open and Marie dribbles a generous amount on her fingers before dropping them down between us, rimming my puckered hole before she enters me with one digit, her other hand holding one of my legs up.
“Fuck,” I gasp.
“You okay?”
“Yes. It’s green. Just, go slow. I’m… it’s a lot of new sensations.”
She hums and smiles. I’m at her mercy and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I adjust to the intrusion quickly, closing my eyes to feel how good the sensations taking over my body are. Pleasure coils low in my belly. I’m almost ready to come again. How many times can I come in one night if she keeps this up? I’ve never felt so mindless with desire, reduced to my baser instincts.
Marie introduces another finger inside me, moving in and out slowly, dragging this out for her pleasure. When I open my eyes again, she watches completely riveted where I swallow her fingers into my body. “You can take one more, can’t you?” she asks, voice raspy with lust.
A moaning “Uh uh” is all I can let out and she grins, giving me what she promised. The fullness takes my breath away.
“Look at you, so fucking mindless and pathetic, taking my fingers like you were meant for it. You’re gonna take that cock so well, I already know it. Are you ready, baby?”
Her dirty talk makes my cock leak with precum. I’m so ready I don’t even understand why she isn’t fucking me yet.
“I need you,” I breathe and writhe as she withdraws and replaces her fingers with the lubed up silicon cock. I inhale sharply when she notches its thick head in and she waits patiently for me to relax before she gives me another inch. And another. And another. She continues her progression until her hips are flushed with mine.
Her breasts settle on my naked chest as she lands on my front and kisses me like I’m the air she needs. Biting and owning, she dominates me with her mouth and body. I’m so fucking full of her, but I need more.
“If you want me to fuck you, you better start begging.”
“Please, Miss Marie. Please move. Please fuck me. I need it. I need your cock.”
She repositions herself on her haunches, both hands holding my legs up and open then takes a tentative slow thrust that has me seeing stars. “Fuck—” She thrusts again, cutting me off.
Her mouth is dropped open, her tits bouncing softly with the short snaps of her pelvis. It hits the perfect spot inside me and I throw my head back, ready to let the orgasm take me.
I’m a mess of gargled noises and pleas, mindless with pleasure but Marie has something else in mind. She squeezes my cock painfully, just how I love it and I keen.
“The only way you’ll come is with your eyes on me, baby.”
Then, she fucks me.
Sharp thrusts inside my ass accompany the tight up and down motion of her hand on my cock. It’s all too much. I come up on my elbows but I don’t know where to look. Where she disappears inside me or her dainty hand owning me, then I remember what she said and look into her eyes. Dark pools of lust and love welcome me and I lose it.
I come in thick ropes all over my stomach and chest, some dripping over her hand, her name on my lips filling the silent room like a prayer. She withdraws and I’m left to catch my breath but not for long. She retrieves a small object from the night table and squeezes it between the strap and her pussy. The buzzing sound betrays its function before she enters me again and I cry out. Using my own cum to jerk me off, Marie gets me hard in minutes. I’ve already come twice and my dick is painful, which makes me harder, like she knows it would.
She tugs on my dick with harsh strokes that have me keening and forgetting my need to clean up. Nothing else matters but how hard Marie fucks me. I’m begging again for her to let me come, to fuck me harder. I’m not sure I make sense but I don’t care. Let me lose my mind if it’s with her.