Chapter 19
My body feels like it’s dragging as I shift, using all my strength to get back to Silas.
I played it cool as best I could leaving Yara’s room, but the moment I heard the lock click from the inside, I bolted faster than ever.
The cool air whips against my face, but I press on.
My chest heaves, and I know it isn’t the exhaustion hitting me—it’s the information I now hold like a crushing weight.
I land outside the deceptively small house, and despite my throbbing head, a sense of calm washes over me, knowing I made it.
I’m close to Silas, and I have to tell him about being my tether.
I quickly decide not to inform him about his father just yet; I need to speak with Aerona first. The small lanterns outside flicker in the rain, and I swear that before my feet even fully touch the ground, the front door swings open.
Silas steps out of the dark doorway and sprints toward me, as though he felt my presence.
I freeze at his sudden appearance, watching his figure grow larger with each passing second.
He looks frantic, his hair falling messily over his forehead, and relief washes over him completely when we lock eyes.
I can’t imagine the horror he felt at leaving me alone with the man who had tormented him his entire life.
His arms wrap around my entire body as he crashes against me with a force that makes me stumble backward—yet he keeps me steady.
His face falls into the curve of my neck, and he breathes deeply.
The rain continues to fall, soaking us both.
He pulls away and runs his hands up and down my body, checking every inch of me for even the slightest scratch.
“Are you alright?”
“Yes,” I breathe. “I’m fine.”
He freezes when he sees the fresh claw mark on my bare shoulder. “What the fuck is this?”
“I told you, I’m okay,” I say, trying to reassure him. “Nothing to worry about.”
“Briar,” he seethes, and his eyes darken. “Did he touch you?”
“No. One of his guard dogs tried to scare me, and succeeded, I might add. I promise I’m alright, though.” I cup his face, and his eyes are wild with rage. “Calm down, Nastronde. I’m here and in one piece.”
I rest my forehead against his and place my hands on his strong chest. I give him a moment to calm his pounding heart. It beats erratically beneath my hands, and I fear it might beat right out of his chest.
“I’ve been going fucking insane since I left you,” he whispers.
“I can tell.” I grin against him, but it quickly fades.
“The outcome,” Silas says, interpreting my body language, “isn’t what we wanted.”
“He won’t fight with us. He’s choosing not to because of me.”
Silas exhales heavily and replies, “Hux told me the decision was made before you ever went. Had I known that, I would have never let you meet with him to begin with.”
“How did Hux know?” I can’t help but snap.
“He knows how to get my father to talk to him. He’s been our insider for many years now. You can trust him.”
My breath catches, and fury makes my fists tighten as they fall to my sides. Silas may trust him, but everything in me screams to get this man away from us.
Hux knows.
He knows everything, and he’s hidden it from Silas for years. My shadows begin to thunder around me, deepening into darkness that rivals the night surrounding us.
Not quite understanding my reaction, Silas places both hands on my shoulders. “You are here—safe with me—quiet your shadows.”
I gaze up at his strong face and can’t hide the anger I feel bubbling in my veins. Mess with me, that’s one thing. But jeopardize those I love, and I’ll fucking end them. Hux doesn’t know it, but he just gained a new enemy, and I don’t see it ending well.
Silas wraps his arms around me once more and pulls me close.
His warmth envelops me, battling the freezing rain falling around us.
I feel his lips press against my head, and without even trying, my body relaxes into him.
My shadows dim, and the feeling of losing control fades with each passing second.
I close my eyes against his strong chest and take a deep breath.
“I could tell you were frightened,” Silas confesses. “I could feel it.”
My tether.
Our souls are connected to always find one another, to crave each other’s closeness. I have to tell him.
The rain continues to beat down, and Silas gently grabs my face. “Let’s go inside.”
“Silas, I need to talk to you about something else.” I lean forward, kissing his lips. “Well, I need to talk to you about many things.”
He pulls back, looking me in the eyes. “Alright, anything. Can this wait until we get inside? It’s freezing out here.”
“No, it can’t wait any longer.”
He angles his head, waiting for me to continue. Silas’s strong face hardens, and he is afraid of what I might say next, but he allows me time to think carefully about my words.
“Go ahead,” his voice deepens.
“Silas. I know…”
I stop myself.
Malachi’s words float into my mind, and I struggle to ignore what he said. What if Silas discovers the truth and realizes it’s not love—that I’ve been forced upon him? His feelings for me could change. He might start to resent me, and that thought is worse than death.
I step back, freeing myself from his grip, and he angles his head, feeling the unwanted distance creeping between us.
The cold air wraps around me, and even though I crave his warmth, I can’t touch him without knowing if it’s real.
Silas reaches for me. “Hey.”
“I can’t,” I say, as I step back.
A noise from the house breaks my stare, and Silas glances over his shoulder.
Oak bursts from the doorway. “Thank Gods, you’re back.”
Maines, Larkin, Warrick, and Hux follow him. I narrow my eyes at Hux and do my best to hide the snarl on my face. Silas notices my tension and moves toward me, rubbing my shoulders. He steps behind me, facing the others approaching, and plants a soft kiss on my head.
“Come on,” he says, nudging me.
I don’t move.
“We will continue this inside once we get dry.”
I cut my eyes upward at him, and a soft smile graces his face, but his eyes show anything but gentle amusement.
I step forward, and we move inside, the warmth of the house calming my shivering body.
After giving us a few blankets to warm ourselves before we can change, the others file down the stairs to the open space below the cliff.
Hux stops halfway down the stairs and turns to us.
My gaze pierces his, and he narrows his eyes.
I clench my fists and ignore the pain of my nails digging into my skin.
“Do you two need anything?” Hux asks Silas.
“We don’t need anything, Ackerley,” Silas responds. “Give us a minute. We’ll be down shortly.”
“You sure?” Hux’s deep voice floats up the stairs like pure darkness.
“Tell the others to relax,” Silas says. “You included.”
Hux hesitates to continue down the stairs, and his eyes lock on mine again.
His piercing blue eyes hold nothing but deceit. “Alright, boss, I will. I’ll go check on Rose.”
Anger surges swiftly in my chest, and the offer carries a heavy threat that hits me like a blow to the sternum. I fight the urge to go after him and take a deep breath to calm my racing heart.
Silas shakes the blanket through his wet hair and drops it to the ground with a thud.
He wraps a fresh one around my cold body before taking off his damp shirt, socks, and shoes.
He leans in and kisses me before pulling back.
His green eyes lock onto mine, and the information I carry feels like a burden worse than death.
“Need help removing anything?” he asks cheekily, as he stares at me.
I don’t smile—I can’t. I close my eyes as tightly as they will allow and wrap the blankets around me tighter. Silas notices my recoil and hardens his brow.
“Tell me what happened.”
Tears begin to well in my eyes as he grabs my hand, pulling me toward the small sitting area near the front door, but I wince in his hold.
“Don’t push me away,” he whispers, his words filled with hurt. “What happened?”
The crackling fire fills the small room, and each sound sends a wave of anxiety through me. Before we can sit down, a high-pitched scream echoes from downstairs, causing both of us to jolt and move deeper into the house as quickly as we can.
We stop at the bottom of the stairs to see the others gathered around the table.
Instead of screaming, the room is filled with laughter.
Fenmore, Rose, and Larkin chuckle while huddled next to Hux and Warrick.
Maines sits on Oak’s lap. Various coins lay scattered across the table, and I quickly realize they were playing a game.
“Who the fuck screamed?” I snap.
“Oak,” Maines says, as she points. “Couldn’t you tell from the girlish shriek?”
“It was not,” he snaps back, poking her side.
They laugh together, and it only makes my pounding heart race more. I glance at Rose, and she quickly stands, hurrying over to the bottom stair.
“Fenmore screamed because she had just lost the entire pot,” Rose adds. “To me.”
“It’s such bullshit.” Fen rolls her eyes and says, “I’m going to kick everyone’s ass if I don’t win the next round.”
Rose wraps her arms around me, and I return the embrace. The feeling of her closeness calms me for just a moment before the harsh reality of what I know crashes back into my mind.
“We just started playing a moment ago, my shadow. Once Hux let us know you had returned, we all relaxed.” She squeezes my shoulders, seeing my worry. “I promise this wasn’t the case while you were gone. That boy over there almost lost his mind.” Rose smoothes my hair, nudging her head toward Silas.
I flinch at Hux’s name.
“It’s okay,” I reply. “I’m glad you are here.”
“Go change and come back to sit with us,” Maines calls from the table. “We want to know everything,”
I shake my head. “I really need to speak with Silas for a moment.”
Hux stands abruptly. “First, I need to speak with him regarding a few things in the coming days.”