Chapter 19 #2
I offer them a smile that doesn’t reach my eyes.
I glance at Silas, who nods reassuringly. “Go change, Briar. I will be in the room shortly. You will have my full attention then.”
He leans in and kisses my forehead before stepping off the bottom stairs to join Hux, Larkin, and Warrick on the balcony. They turn the corner and disappear from our view.
Panic washes over me at the distance between Silas and me. I have to tell him, no matter what that means for my own heart. I didn’t have time to warn him. He’s not safe with Hux, and I didn’t stop him from leaving. Disappointment sinks into my core, and I feel the color drain from my face.
I made a mistake.
“Are you alright? You look like you are going to be sick.” Maines gets up and rushes over to me.
“I… I need to go to my room.” I wobble, the pressure of everything being too much to handle.
“Come on, let’s go.” Maines grabs my hand to keep me steady as we walk down the hallway.
“Let me know if you need anything,” Rose calls from the main room, and the others watch cautiously.
The hallway stretches on and on, and time passes slowly. Each step thunders in my ears, and the words continuously crash into my mind—like waves against the cliffs in a storm.
We enter the familiar bedroom, and fortunately, the large bay window is open, letting in a cool breeze that refreshes my clammy skin.
“Go slip that dress off. You are freezing,” Maines says as she ushers me to the bathing chambers. “I’m going to grab you some fresh clothes.”
She rushes over to the large wardrobe, pulling out a fresh shirt and black pants, before tossing them to me.
I slip off the heavy dress and dry the remaining water from my skin.
Even though my skin is ice cold, the warmth of my anxiety envelops me, causing me to shake from the contrasting temperatures.
I quickly slip into the pants, throw on the billowing top, and button up the shirt, leaving the top two buttons open.
“How is your tattoo feeling?” Maines enters the room once I’ve fully dressed. “Do you want me to check it?”
I tighten the shirt around my shoulders and smooth my hair.
“No, it’s fine,” I lie.
The throbbing hasn’t lessened, and the fresh claw mark sitting on my skin would only alarm her. I run my hand over the marking and can feel the raised, irritated skin underneath. The pulsing that hits my hand causes me to jerk it away, as if something inside me is trying to rip it from my body.
“Okay. I’m going to sit and get a fire going.” Maines smiles and starts to pull the door shut behind her. “You look like you need a minute.”
I hear muffled shuffling outside the door that quickly fades as Maines makes her way across the room to attend to the fire.
I glance in the mirror and take a shaky breath.
My black hair is still soaked and plastered to my head.
My eyes are heavy—not just with exhaustion, but a weight desperate to leave my body.
My eyes are my normal autumn shade, and I’m thankful the brilliant hazel is settled.
My eyes.
They have always been different than other Shadow Wielders, and tonight, I think I’ve learned why. I’m different, and I don’t think I’m just a Shadow Wielder. I glance at my hands, the black veins still visible.
I close my eyes and concentrate on the words.
Give me light.
But nothing happens.
Nothing brightens the room, and the black veins mock me against my pale skin.
Maybe I’m losing my mind after all that’s happened.
That would almost comfort me if it were true.
I reflect on my mother's remarkable ability to adjust to the darkness after marrying my father. My mother was strong—just like he was—but, I can’t shake the feeling that this ability may not come solely from her.
My father was private to a fault, and I’m beginning to think there is more about my parents that I never understood.
But, I know someone who might have the answers.
Rose.
I focus once more and try to dive deeper into the steady flow of magic I feel, but nothing speaks back.
We have to figure out what’s going on, and regret hits me again.
I may have successfully blocked Malachi from haunting me, and Kalix is more dormant than usual, but I can’t hear Rohhit, and it feels like I desperately need to.
I do my best to compose myself and present a calm appearance. I open the door and join Maines around the simmering fire. She looks up from a book she’s holding and smiles gently.
She pats the seat next to her, an invitation to rest. Without protesting, I plop into the chair and let a wave of exhaustion settle into my bones.
“What happened?” Maines asks on a sigh.
I rub my eyes and avoid her gaze for a moment. Maines has a knack for extracting any information she desires from people, and I know if I slip up, I’ll reveal everything to her before I can tell Silas.
“I don’t even know where to begin, Maines.” I exhale heavily. “This has been a disaster.”
“Then, tell me what you feel comfortable. I know I’ll learn the rest when you are ready.”
I immediately relax a bit.
“Just promise me you are safe first.”
My shoulders slump, and the tattoo pinches, causing a pained expression to cross my face. “You know I can’t make that promise, Maines. None of us are safe.”
She inches closer. “I know.”
I turn to look at her, and Maines’s familiar, beautiful eyes stare back. I can’t tell her before Silas, but I can be honest with her. It won’t do us any good if I keep everything in the dark any longer.
“Malachi isn’t going to help us.”
She nods. “Hux told us.”
“You cannot trust him. Do not tell him anything important. I don’t care what the others say right now,” I say, sharply. “Promise me that.”
My reaction catches her off guard. “What happened with Hux?”
“Just promise me, Maines.”
She drops her gaze. “I promise.”
The fire before us dances in the shadows of the room.
The blazing heat quickly becomes sweltering as growing tension fills the space.
There’s a crack, and a log falls to the bottom of the fireplace, making me jolt in my seat.
Maines darts her eyes toward me, sensing my unease, and leans back against the couch, crossing her arms.
A heavy exhale leaves my chest, and the words bubble in my throat. “I met one of the dancers tonight in the castle—Yara. I got into a bind, and she helped me.”
“Briar Blackbyrne—what aren’t you telling me?” Maines’s posture straightens.
“It wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle.” I roll my eyes as she relaxes.
“Then, keep going,” Maines says. “Make me believe that.”
“Yara shared more information than anyone should ever have to process in one sitting. Andorwood has a stone, and from her description, it seems to be something similar to the resurrection stone.”
Her jaw slacks. “Did she have any idea what it does?”
“No. She said it wasn’t something to mess with. She also knows what can protect us when we get into the Archives,” I explain. “We are meeting her tomorrow night for the Rigil and more information.”
“Gods, who is this woman?” Maines curses.
“A brave bitch.”
She laughs. “I believe it.”
“There’s one more thing I need to tell you. You are the perfect person to come to with this because you’ve studied more than anyone I know.”
She nods, uncomfortable in her own seat suddenly. “Okay?”
“Before I met Yara, I was standing in the hallway when a Traveler approached me from behind.”
“A what?” she snaps.
“The invisible creatures that guard the castle," I say, casually brushing over the name. “I nearly drowned in complete darkness and just prayed for light. And...well...that happened.”
“Wait? What are you talking about?”
“I wielded light, Maines.”