Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
ZAIN
“That doesn’t count as food,” Razar pointed out quietly as Arabella popped another fry into her mouth, curled between him and Damian.
I wouldn’t lie, I was a bit jealous that her hands weren’t on me instead of the fried food, but I also knew that her small frame required sustenance, so I waited patiently.
Hopefully then I could get her to run her fingers through my hair.
I wasn’t going to say I was needy, but I wasn’t going to say I wasn’t…
Yeah, I was a needy bastard. It didn’t help that she was only in an oversized shirt, because despite it going down to her knees like a dress, I wanted more than anything to run my fingers along every inch of her skin.
I craved the emotions and sensations her touch inspired.
In the kitchen, Blackwell and Cy were going over papers regarding the possible location for Hate, and up front, Saint, of all people, was fucking driving, with Amun in the passenger seat. Shit. It was possible we were going to die.
Still, I couldn’t find it in me to move far away from Bella right now, her eyes growing a bit more sleepy as she stopped eating her fries.
We were heading towards Colorado, which was pretty damn convenient since Peace was also said to be in the area, according to the files Arabella was given.
We’d heard from the institute again—the shields were still up, but there were human camps being set up outside, almost as if they were waiting on something.
That something had the potential to concern me… A lot.
“I’m tired,” Arabella admitted.
I was up and out of my seat, lifting her off her feet. Razar made a noise of frustration but didn’t try to stop me from carrying her to the back bedroom. Which was good, because I really needed to hold her right now.
I mean, she had brought up sharing her sleeping space at night, and I fully intended to be in bed with her. We didn’t even need to do anything. Hell, with how tired she was, I knew we wouldn’t, and I was perfectly content with that. I just wanted to hold her.
You know, for someone that supposedly could bring cities to ruin, I was a bit of a softy for Arabella. Just for her though.
You would have thought that it would have been beaten out of me over the course of my life. I swallowed that concept down, not wanting to go back to the time when I was far less than I was now, when I was barely a nightmare, let alone human.
“Zain?” Arabella snuggled against me as I inhaled her scent and wrapped myself around her, her even breath making me thrilled that she felt this secure and safe in my arms. I remembered the first time Arabella had hugged me and how odd it had been receiving a touch that wasn’t horrible. A touch that didn’t represent pain.
“Are you sure you don’t need to see a doctor?” The Director was serious, his face filled with more concern than anyone had ever expressed over me.
I really had no idea what I was doing here. Not only did I feel extremely uncomfortable with the worry on his face, but I felt a weird sensation crawling up my spine that there was something I was suddenly missing. I didn’t know what it was, but there was a weird charged sensation in the air.
When I had escaped the human settlement I’d been caged in, I had traveled without direction, wandering until I found myself on the doorsteps of this place.
I had assumed it was some type of estate, but when I had been met with other nightmares and brought into this holding cell, I had thought the worst.
I was now thinking that it was possible that this man, a human who ran this entire place, could be my saving grace.
“I’ll heal, I always do,” I admitted softly.
I’d been held captive most of my life, changing owners back and forth. It really was nothing new. Hell, I wouldn’t even think about it if it wasn’t for the fact that I was covered in scars. I hated them, and if I could somehow remove them from my body, I would have.
I’d noticed the humans cover their scars with tattoos… Maybe that was an option for me.
“Dad?” A soft voice that had chills racing over my skin had me snapping my head over to the open door, and a sleepy girl around my age walked in.
Instantly, my gaze sought out any potential threat she posed, but I realized fairly quickly that she was not only human, but a small one at that.
Her bright pink hair was piled on top of her head, and she was in a pair of oversized sweatpants, a hoodie, and slippers.
A weird emotion crawled up in my throat, and I wanted to wrap my arms around her and bury my head against her neck.
I froze, unsure of what to do when her unique eyes found mine, examining me with interest. I held her gaze, unsure how to handle her presence.
I jumped when she asked, “Who is this?”
I was positive I looked horrible right now, and for the first time in my life, I felt self-conscious about it. My face and body were bruised and bloody, my hair matted, and the last time I ate was quite some time ago… Insecurity hit me hard as she looked at me with a softness I didn’t deserve.
“This is Zain.”
She walked towards me and I stood, feeling a bit defensive, as she looked up at me with a bright smile. When she suddenly wrapped her arms around me, I felt my heart shatter as I kept my hands above and away from her clean, beautiful form. If she noticed, she didn’t say anything.
“Welcome, Zain. It’s wonderful to meet you.”
I was almost positive that was the moment everything changed in my life. I slept that night, deeply and feeling safe, for the first time in forever after a full meal and dressing in clean clothes after a hot shower.
I did end up seeing a doctor, and throughout the entire process, Arabella had been at my side. Happily, at that. Razar had almost immediately joined us as well, and I found myself nervous around the night terror, concerned how he would view me being around her.
I didn’t know at the time the context of their relationship, but it was obvious they were close.
He never acted like that towards me. Never defensive or anything like that. He had been as cautious as myself, but as friendly as I realized Razar was now capable of being.
My eyes closed as my body rocked with pain, feeling my scars pulse with the phantom sting of torture that should have been long forgotten. It wasn’t, though. It wasn’t at all. I had a feeling that it would never fully go away.
Almost immediately, my strong emotions towards the memories that assaulted my brain caused me to shift.
It happened fairly often when Arabella fell asleep with me, my brain slipping into darker thoughts and my terror side wanting to experience what our Bella was like through his own way of touch.
I let the change come over me, becoming transparent.
Apocalyptic terrors could take many different versions of their form.
There was this one, where I seemed to just exist in a cloud of black magic that was smoky in nature.
I knew that if Arabella was looking at me, she would see the ruby red eyes that refracted light and highlighted my razor-sharp teeth.
I knew it should have terrified her, but we really didn’t mean any harm.
My terror loved her and wanted to cocoon her in our magic completely, allowing her to harness the energy that seemed to radiate from within us, a steady pulse that only responded to her.
Despite being transparent, I stayed grounded in the human realm as much as possible. I let my smoky power trail along her body, almost like fingers sliding against her skin, both sides of me wanting to explore Arabella in full.
Her breathing in and out calmed a part of me that had been high-strung about her safety, and I couldn’t help but stare at her gorgeous face and the way she seemed to be always at peace with herself. I envied her ability to never feel fear. I envied it so fucking much it was unreal.
Getting comfortable, Arabella rolled onto her back and stretched out, causing a savage growl to slip from my mouth.
I couldn’t help but stare at the skin that was visible to me, her oversized shirt having risen up to expose her bare waist. I wanted to actually touch her so badly, but I also didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.
I didn’t exactly look friendly in this form.
If she only realized that I was essentially a goddamn puppy like this… At least to her.
“Zain?” she asked, reaching up. Her fingers coasted through the energy that surrounded me, causing me to move closer.
This time, her touch did something to my magic, causing my nightmare and human sides to collide together completely at the energy radiating off her, shifting me into a form that I’d only heard rumor of.
Most apocalyptic terrors existed in one of the two forms most natural to us—either our humanoid form or like this. There was one more, though, one that her touch evoked. One that allowed me to become far more human while still maintaining the twisted black magic that surrounded me.
My form was far less transparent, black and red smoke making it solid enough to hold its phantom shape as she looked up into what was probably my familiar face.
It was an illusion though, just like how her comfort should have been since smoke was covering every inch of this room and rolling up her body.
I had no idea how it was possible, but I was fucking hard, even like this, and unlike normal, when I reached out a hand to Arabella, it didn’t swipe through.
Instead she leaned into it, a faint red glow marking her skin.
Arabella inhaled sharply. “I didn’t know this was possible.”
I hadn’t either.
“It shouldn’t be.” I brought my fingers through her hair as I wound the length of it in my fist, watching the smoky texture forming a grip against her silky strands.
I was so distracted by the occurrence that I nearly missed the way she was squirming underneath me.
My gaze snapped down to where her cheeks were pink, her breathing fast.