Thirty-Six Ramin
thirty-six
Ramin
Ramin wasn’t much of a sex-twice-a-day person anymore, much less thrice-a-day.
So he was shocked (and a little proud of himself) when he got hard again in the shower.
He and Noah ended up kissing and grinding their erections together, Noah gripping them both with a soap-slicked hand, until they came again, spilling all over their stomachs, and Ramin’s dick felt like someone had taken sandpaper to it.
They behaved after that, though, barely even kissing as they washed and dried. Noah let Ramin have the sink first, so Ramin brushed his teeth, then moved on to his skincare while Noah started brushing, and they shared little glances in the mirror.
It felt cozy. Domestic. The kind of thing Ramin used to do with Todd.
But fuck Todd. (Not literally.) Ramin always felt like he was trying to keep up with Todd, somehow.
With Noah it was easy. Just sharing a nightly routine with someone you enjoyed spending time with.
Laughing as your elbows bumped, as you made weird faces while you flossed, as your eyes met in the mirror and you smiled for no other reason than you were happy to be together.
Ramin left Noah in the bathroom and pulled on some underwear, because he felt weird saying his prayers naked. He still had his eyes closed when Noah emerged, voice muffled by his night guard.
“Will it bother you if I call Jake?”
Ramin finished his prayer and shook his head. “Let me pull on a shirt.”
He found the shirt from dinner in a wrinkled heap on the floor and pulled it back on. “Should I… say hi?”
Ramin knew Jake knew about them, but he didn’t know how much. Did he know they were sharing a bed, and not out of necessity?
Noah smiled. “I bet he’d like that.”
Noah had pulled on a plain white T-shirt. Ramin already missed the all-access pass to Noah’s chest. They sat together against the headboard, shoulder to shoulder, as Noah called Jake.
Jake’s face popped up on the screen right away.
“Hey Dad! Hey Ramin!” Jake seemed to be in his own bed, wearing a plush white robe over his Spider-Man pajamas.
“Hey, buddy. You ready for bed?”
Jake shrugged. “Almost.”
“Did you brush your teeth?”
“Not yet. We’re getting gelato from room service!”
Noah laughed, but Ramin suddenly wondered if their own hotel had room service gelato.
He’d already brushed his teeth, though.
Noah asked Jake about his day. Apparently, he and Angela had gone to Turin, which it turned out (a) had a Lego Store and (b) was where Nutella was made. It was everywhere, even in their hotel lobby.
“There was this thing with a big spike on it, and you could stick your croissant on and pull the lever and it filled it with Nutella!” Jake explained. “It was the best thing ever.”
Noah laughed. “That sounds great.”
Ramin mostly listened, jumping in with a “Wow!” or “Cool!” at the appropriate point.
He desperately wanted to rest his head against Noah’s chest, feel the rumble of his voice, but even this, just this, was nice.
He loved the way Noah’s voice sounded when he was talking to Jake.
The tenderness. The boundless joy. The soft laughter. The unconditional love.
Ramin’s heart swelled. It made him miss his own parents. But he was grateful to share in this moment.
Jake sat up straighter in his bed. “That’s the gelato! Gotta go!”
“Okay, good night, Jakey. Love you.”
“Night.”
“Night, Jake!” Ramin added.
“Night, Ramin!”
The phone went dark. Noah sighed.
“Good luck to Angela. He’s never going to sleep if he has gelato this late.”
Ramin laughed. “You’re a good dad. You know that?”
Noah shrugged. “I try.”
Ramin blinked. Noah was just being self-effacing, right? “Really. You are.”
Noah shifted to pinch at his cross. Ramin put his hand over Noah’s.
“Sometimes I don’t feel like it.”
“Why?”
“I can be pretty selfish.”
Ramin furrowed his brow. He couldn’t imagine anyone less selfish than Noah. “Why do you say that?”
“I don’t want Jake to move here.” It came out as barely more than a whisper.
Noah squeezed his eyes shut. “I should want him to have a good life. To be wherever he’ll get the best opportunities.
And goodness knows, schools are safer here than back home.
I should want all that for him, but I don’t. I want him to stay with me.”
“You love him,” Ramin said. “What’s wrong with wanting him to stay?”
“What kind of father does that make me, choosing my happiness over his future?” Noah huffed. “Like I said. I’m selfish.”
It didn’t sound selfish. It sounded like Noah was punishing himself.
“What if Jake wants to stay in Kansas City?” Ramin pointed out.
“Why would he? He could be having adventures here.”
Ramin ached. He couldn’t imagine Jake not wanting to stay with Noah. Jake adored his dad. Didn’t Noah see it?
“Noah…”
“It’s fine. It is what it is. I’m not going to let my selfishness ruin this opportunity for him.”
That was bullshit. Ramin twisted so he could look at Noah full on.
“You ever think you might have… kind of a martyr complex?”
Fuck, that was not what Ramin meant to ask. But now that he’d said it… well, it was blunter than he meant, but he didn’t think he was wrong.
Noah shrugged and stared at the bedcovers. He let go of his cross to pick at a little pill on his T-shirt. “I don’t know. Maybe.” And then he let out a dry chuckle. “My parents messed me up real good.”
“Your parents?”
“Yeah.” Noah shrugged again.
“Back in Bellagio, Angela said you don’t talk to them anymore?”
“Went no contact a couple years ago.”
“Oh.” Ramin had a hard time imagining having parents and not speaking to them. They must’ve done something really fucked-up to push Noah to that point.
“And I always promised myself I’d be a better parent for Jake than either of them ever had been for me. You know?”
“You are.”
Noah huffed. “Some days it doesn’t feel like it.”
“You are ,” Ramin repeated. “I promise, you are.”
He rested a hand over Noah’s heart. That beautiful, bounding heart.
Ramin wished he could reach inside Noah and scoop this…
this self-loathing out of him. Ramin had never met anyone more giving and thoughtful and kind than Noah.
He was always taking care of people, always pushing aside his own wants and needs for others.
He’d seen it over and over with Jake. Noah would do anything for Jake.
He bent over backward for Angela, too. And, God, he’d done it for Ramin today, hadn’t he? Planning this whole trip, just because Ramin said he liked the sea.
But who was out there taking care of Noah? Who was putting aside their own desires to focus on his?
Ramin wanted to be that person. If only Noah would let him.
“Sorry.” Noah dropped a kiss on Ramin’s forehead. “I don’t know why I got so maudlin. We should get some sleep.”
Ramin knew when someone was trying to change the subject, but if that’s what Noah wanted, then Ramin was going to give it to him.
He slipped back out of his shirt and tossed it onto the floor, then burrowed under the covers.
Noah clicked the light off and wrapped his arms around Ramin.
“I had a nice day today,” Ramin murmured. “Thanks.”
“Me too.” Noah sighed and pulled Ramin closer. “I wish we could just stay like this forever.”
“Why can’t we?”
“Hm?”
“I mean… I don’t have anywhere else to be. Jake’s off with Angela. We could just… stay a little extra. You and me.”
Noah’s mouth brushed the base of Ramin’s neck. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Ramin could feel the smile on Noah’s lips. “We’re still getting to know each other again. Time to focus on us could be nice. Right?”
Noah rumbled out a sigh. Ramin’s back resonated in sympathy.
“Right.” Noah was quiet for a second. “I’ll talk to Angela tomorrow. See how long we can take.”
“Really?” Ramin had just been wishing. He didn’t think Noah would actually go for it.
“Really-really,” Noah said. “I like you a lot, Ramin.”
“I like you a lot too, Noah.”
Maybe more than liking a lot, but Ramin wasn’t ready to deal with that yet.
“Now come on. We should get some sleep.”
“Okay.” Ramin settled into the bed, into Noah’s arms. Everything was cozy and perfect. Noah’s soft cock pressed against his butt.
Hmm… there was something Ramin liked doing, if the guy he was with was up to it.
“One last question.”
“Yeah?”
“What are your thoughts on being woken up by blowjobs?”