6. Axel
Aldo knocked on my bedroom door.
I was on the couch in the living room, watching a game I didn’t really care about. Sports was the only distraction I had at the moment. All of her stuff was gone, but her smell remained. Hints of her perfume in the bathroom. A pair of her panties in my underwear drawer that had been placed there by mistake. One of her hairs on my pillow. Everywhere I looked, she was there, fucking haunting me.
Aldo knocked again, like he knew I was there and ignoring him. “Sir, Theo is here to see you.”
Why? “Tell him I’m not home.”
“I’ve already informed him you’re in residence.”
My eyebrow cocked at his boldness as I walked to the door, tired of talking through a wall. “Why would you do such a thing?”
He stepped back from the door and placed his hands behind his back. “He’s waiting for you in the parlor.”
“You already invited him into the house?” I asked incredulously.
Aldo walked off, like this was acceptable behavior for a butler.
I growled before I slammed the door behind me. I was in nothing but my boxers, so I pulled on a pair of sweats and a shirt before I took the long trek down the stairs and into the parlor on the lower level.
Theo was already there, but the decanter of scotch was untouched, and so were the cigars.
Something was up.
When I walked into the room, his eyes immediately locked on my appearance, like he was looking for bullet wounds or scars.
It took only a few seconds to piece together what had happened. Aldo had betrayed me. That man was supposed to be my secret keeper. If I killed someone in the house and he was questioned by authorities, he was supposed to keep his mouth shut. “That little traitor…” I sat in the armchair across from Theo, the window behind me.
Theo massaged his knuckles as he stared at me, as if he’d recently got into a fistfight in a bar. “He hadn’t seen you in three days…started to get worried.”
I looked at the fire, not in the mood to talk to anyone, not even him. The last three days had been spent on the couch. Hardly ate anything. Skipped the gym every single day, which was a new streak for me. I simply had no motivation to do anything. Every time I looked at my phone, I hoped to see a message from her…but there was nothing.
“You want to talk about it?”
“Does it look like I want to talk about it?” My eyes stayed on the fire.
Theo leaned forward and helped himself to one of the cigars on the tray.
I wasn’t in the mood for a smoke. I wasn’t even in the mood for booze.
“I’m sorry, Axel.”
That didn’t make me feel better whatsoever.
We sat there for a long time, just absorbing the mutual silence. Theo continued to enjoy his cigar, and I continued to stare at the fire like he wasn’t there. Whenever I looked at the flames, I was reminded of Scarlett’s passion, of the way her fire leaped when I added my gasoline.
“Have you spoken to her?”
“No.”
“She’ll come back.”
“She won’t.” I turned to look at him. “I told her the truth about Dante.”
The cigar no longer seemed important because he kept it between his fingers rather than between his lips.
“She didn’t believe me.”
Anger flashed across his eyes, subtle but significant. “You think she’ll confront him?”
“She promised she wouldn’t.”
“And you believe that?”
I nodded. “I wouldn’t have told her if I didn’t.”
“Your father’s life is literally in her hands right now.”
“And that trust is well-placed.” She thought so little of me, but I thought the world of her. I knew she would never betray me, whether we were together or not. She had a good heart, and unfortunately, I wasn’t the only one to see that. Her father did too—and he chose to abuse it.
Theo stared at me for a while but didn’t press his disagreement.
“I love her, but I couldn’t do it anymore. We’d have a special moment that would only last a couple seconds before she got this look in her eyes…like our happiness only reminded her of her misery. In the blink of an eye, she’d remember my betrayal, and then the divide between us was even bigger than the previous one.”
“One step forward, three steps backward.”
“Exactly. I gave her an ultimatum. Forgive me—or forget me.” And she chose wrong.
Theo stared at me, clearly at a loss for words. He’d never been one for deep conversation or a discussion about his feelings, so his silence was unsurprising. His presence was his love language.
I reached for a cigar and lit up.
“Just kill him, Axel.”
“And what will that do?”
“He deserves it.”
“I already lost her, so his death won’t benefit me, just hurt her.”
“I think it’ll benefit her in the long run.”
It did bother me that her father was the puppet master and she was the one on strings. She assumed she had a guardian angel looking after her, but she was just a pawn in his chess game. She had no free will, despite what she thought. When I told her I loved her more than he did, that was the truth.
“Then what are you going to do?”
“What do you mean? It’s done.”
“It’s not done,” he said. “You’ve been obsessed with this woman since the moment you saw her.”
I knew I would never get over her. Not really. She would always be the one who got away. Time would pass, and I would think of her less and less. I’d meet someone else at some point, and it would feel right. But in the back of my mind, she would always be there, a permanent mark that had become a part of me. And if I bumped into her on the street, all those feelings would rush back…and I would play an extensive game of what-if. It would be hard to shake the memory, and when I was in bed with my woman, she would pop in here and there. It would be a shitty feeling, to want to move on but be forever stuck in the past. “I deserve to be with a woman who wants me fully. Not partially. Not begrudgingly.”
“It was never begrudgingly, man.”
“She’s not here, is she?”
The cigar continued to burn unattended in his fingertips. “She made the wrong decision, but I understand the complexity of her situation. Nobody could fathom their own father lying straight to their face like that. That the person they trust most is not the person they thought they were. If she can’t confront him about it, what else is she supposed to do?”
I stared at the cigar in my fingertips and watched it burn.
“You know I’m right.”
I continued to stare.
“You should talk to Dante.”
My eyes flicked up. “And what will that do?”
“He’d be dead right now if it weren’t for you. He owes you.”
“He’s never going to throw himself under the bus?—”
“Convince him. Tell him you’ll mend the relationship between him and Scarlett.”
“He’ll never go for it.”
“You want this woman or not?” He cocked his head to the side.
“I do, but I’m tired of fighting for her.”
“This goes beyond you and her. You’re fighting for her freedom because she has no idea she’s being oppressed by this psychopath. Every relationship she has after you will be manipulated by this guy. She could end up with an asshole simply because he’s beneficial to Dante. Something to think about.”
The misery struck me like a bell tolling at the church. She’d left me, but I was still responsible for her well-being and her happiness. It felt like a curse, to love a woman who was impossible to love.
“Or, like I said, you could just kill him…”
I closed my eyes at the suggestion.
“I could do it for you. Keep your hands clean.”
My eyes opened again. “As tempting as that is, I couldn’t do that to her.”
“You would be doing her a favor.”
“It wouldn’t feel like a favor to her.”
“Then you need to expose him. That’s your only option.”
I would never get Dante to agree to the truth, to come clean and shed his skin. But I had to try…for her.
“Not to sound like an insensitive prick, but the Colombians have come back to the table.”
At the change of subject, I returned the cigar to my mouth and let the smoke coat my tongue. “Really?”
He nodded. “Looks like they’ve had a change of heart.”
“Did they agree to their original fee?”
“We haven’t discussed details. They just said they want to meet.”
“Ambush?”
Theo shrugged. “I doubt it. They probably realized they’re sitting on a ton of product they can’t move.”
“Should we say we’ve already found another supplier?”
“Yes. Bring them back to their original fee. Dante won’t like it, but he’s a fucking pussy.”
“And he’s outnumbered two to one.”
“Exactly. I’ll set up the meeting.”
“Alright.” I wasn’t as invested as I normally would be. Whether this deal worked out or not, I’d lost the one thing I actually cared about.
I stood in the parlor near the fire and waited for Dante.
It was the first time I’d left the house since Scarlett had moved back to her old apartment. Now that she was gone, the city looked different. The lights that shone on the Duomo weren’t as bright. The starlight was obscured by clouds. The most romantic city in the world had become the dullest. I’d never considered myself a romantic guy, but I’d turned into Romeo when I’d met my Juliet.
When his footsteps sounded, I turned from the fire to meet his gaze.
His look was guarded and cold, like it wasn’t the least bit pleasing to meet me tonight. Perhaps he already knew Scarlett and I had separated. Perhaps he didn’t. Since I hadn’t spoken to Scarlett, I really had no idea how she lived her life without me.
He moved to the couch and sat down, one ankle on the opposite knee, his stare hostile.
I crossed the room and sat across from him.
There was a showdown between us, an exchange of ruthless stares.
He was the first to speak. “Why are you here?”
“Your daughter left me.”
There was no surprise. There was no remorse either.
“Said she couldn’t move past my infidelity.”
The guy didn’t even blink.
“If you don’t feel any ounce of guilt, then you must really be a psychopath.”
“Or I just don’t like you.”
Asshole. “The only feelings that matter are your daughter’s. She’s making a decision without the facts, a decision that will affect the rest of her life. Tell her the truth so she can stop being miserable.”
“Miserable?” he asked. “She seemed fine to me.”
An explosion of pain hit my chest, the devastation passing in aftershocks.
“She said she was relieved it was over for good.” He said it with a straight face, like a weatherman reporting the weather during the nightly news.
For an instant, I succumbed to it, picturing her happy while I was miserable on the couch all day. So miserable that I’d barely eaten since the morning she’d walked out. “You can’t manipulate me the way you manipulate Scarlett. I know how much she’s hurting right now. And she knows how much I’m hurting.”
Dante didn’t deny the accusation, but he kept a straight face like a poker champion.
“I love your daughter, Dante. I would die for her. I would give her my lungs if she couldn’t breathe. I would give her my heart if hers stopped beating. You may not like me, but you know that I’m good for her.”
He continued his hostile stare.
“Despite our differences, I’m not interested in sabotaging your relationship the way you’re interested in sabotaging mine. I understand what you mean to her, and I would never undermine that. Let’s move forward and make this work.”
“I don’t understand your meaning, Axel.”
“I want your daughter—so name your price.”
His arms crossed over his chest, and he took several seconds to process my statement. “I can’t convince her to come back to you, Axel.”
“You can if you tell her the truth.”
The arrogance in his eyes suddenly faded, provoked by the scandalous suggestion.
“Name your price.”
“There is no price, Axel. I’ll take it to the grave.”
“I love your daughter, and she loves me?—”
“I’ve never heard her say such a thing?—”
“You don’t need to hear someone say it to know how they feel. It’s in her stare. It’s in the way she asks me to let her know that I’m okay. It’s in the way she grabs my hand under the table. It’s in everything she does. But she’s too afraid to say it because of the way I hurt her. The way you made me hurt her.”
Dante kept his arms across his chest.
“All I want is her. Please.”
After a pause, he shook his head slightly. “No.”
“Tell her the truth, and I promise I’ll get her to forgive you. I will mend the relationship, and we can move forward.”
“Even if that’s true, it’ll never be the same?—”
“Our lives will never be the same if we aren’t together.” I spoke calmly, with a note of defeat, because I didn’t expect this to succeed. But I tried anyway. “I love her so damn much. She loves me. It’ll be a tragedy if we don’t end up together because you intervened. A fucking tragedy. How does that not bother you?”
“Because my daughter is smart and beautiful and can have any man she wants. She’ll be just fine without you.”
“But I’m the man she wants, Dante. And you aren’t letting her have what she wants.”
“I’m not doing anything. She’s the one who’s choosing to leave?—”
“Because of you. Make this right. If you love your daughter, you’ll make this right.”
“And if I could do that without compromising our relationship, I would. But that’s not possible. She’s the single most important thing to me. I would never jeopardize that.”
“But you did jeopardize it with your lies.”
“I was trying to protect her?—”
“From the best thing that ever happened to her?” I asked incredulously. “I treat her like a fucking goddess, Dante.”
“Did you treat your last wife like a goddess?” he asked coldly.
“I know you don’t believe that.”
“I believe in facts, Axel. And you went to prison for two years?—”
“It’s not true. And your daughter knows it’s not.” I raised my hand. “I’m tired of having this same conversation?—”
“As am I,” he snapped.
“I’m willing to leave the past behind us. I’m willing to give you a clean slate. I’m willing to try to accept you as my father-in-law. I will fight for your relationship with Scarlett. By telling her the truth, you’ll have redeemed yourself in my eyes as well as hers. I’ll give you back your business. I’ll do anything you want at this point. Just tell her the truth. You can tell whatever convoluted version of the story you want. I just want her to understand that I did not end things because I wanted to. I did not go out with Cassandra because I wanted to. Please, Dante.”
He listened to my speech with a blank stare, like he hadn’t heard a word I said. He rubbed his arm and released a breath from his nostrils. “I can’t help you, Axel. I suggest you move on and forget my daughter—just as she’ll forget about you.”