Chapter 27
Perhaps Ginny shouldn’t do this to herself, but she couldn’t stop now. She needed to know everything about him and maybe they had only a few days – at the most, she had until he left for his next assignment, when she’d join the list of other women he’d briefly shared a bed with.
His arm was still around her, a touch she’d never expected and was now desperate to prolong. She didn’t look at him, wanting him to continue both the talking and the touching – and then maybe she’d hop in his lap and wipe it all away again with this intense physical response they had to each other.
She was relieved Annie hadn’t witnessed the fall, although that meant she still didn’t know what had happened to destroy their relationship.
Staring at the ceiling, Rhys told her. ‘Just seeing me after the accident was bad enough,’ he said flatly. ‘She flew out to Chile as soon as she heard the news.’
‘Oh,’ Ginny said, realising that she should have put this part together earlier. ‘You didn’t recognise her. Did it hurt her feelings? She should have understood that. Didn’t the doctors tell her? Maybe they didn’t speak English. But still, she should have given you a chance to—’
‘To what?’ he prompted when she didn’t continue. ‘Heal? That part of my brain didn’t heal.’
‘To get used to it,’ she settled on.
‘Ginny, it was me who didn’t give her a chance. When the relationship got complicated, I ended it. I told her to go home. Didn’t Kira tell you it was my fault?’
‘She did, actually,’ she mumbled, still certain something here didn’t add up. ‘But if you loved her and she loved you…’
He shrugged, rather callously, she thought. ‘It obviously wasn’t enough.’
‘I don’t understand. Didn’t you see each other again afterwards? Or did you completely ghost her? How is that just “it”?’
‘I think I guessed you wouldn’t understand.’
That reached Ginny in the guts.
‘I shouted at her to leave me alone. I told her everything had changed and I couldn’t see us staying together. What she did was what I told her to do. We didn’t contact each other for over four months and when I did reach out…’
He seemed to reconsider what he’d been about to say, which only made Ginny sit very still and listen harder.
‘It was my fault. There’s no other way to look at it.
If she found a new partner in that time, then good for her.
I didn’t want her to go through the rehab with me anyway.
I thought my brain would never operate normally again and, while that’s true, it’s…
’ He shook his head as the end of the sentence dissolved.
‘I just don’t think I can do it, let someone all the way in. And I don’t want to hurt anyone else.’
Ginny had nothing to say. She thought perhaps she should regret making him talk, and she would if he did what she suspected he was about to do: ask her to go back to her own room.
But although it proved his point down to the detail, she’d rather have had this glimpse of him, trauma and all, than stay on the outside.
‘Enough of a red flag for you?’ he joked half-heartedly.
‘I can’t fault your reasons,’ she said softly. ‘But I can’t help thinking that I’d be much harder to get rid of.’
‘Ginny,’ he said, his voice low with warning.
‘I know.’ She waved a hand to dismiss his concerns. ‘I’m not supposed to be inserting myself into other people’s relationships and this—’ she gestured between them ‘—isn’t a relationship. It’s casual sex. Very hot casual sex. I feel it’s important to point out how hot it is.’
‘You don’t need to point it out to me.’
‘I was just a bit worried you were going to kick me out. I could promise to give your shirt back—’ She lifted the hem.
‘Why would I kick you out? You’re the best thing about this wedding – even with my shirt on.’ He gave her a crooked look. ‘Especially with my shirt on.’
She hopped up on her knees on the bed, facing him.
‘I could leave it on,’ she quipped. ‘But here.’ She rummaged in the pocket of her discarded jeans and came back with a little woven hair tie.
Taking his hand, she slipped it onto his wrist, next to the two leather braids and the silver bracelet. ‘Now we’re even.’
‘I’m not sure it’s a fair exchange.’
‘No, but I really want to keep your shirt as a souvenir.’
‘Just when I’m starting to think I know how your brain works…’
‘You’ll never know how my brain works,’ she insisted. ‘I admit you’ve got my body all figured out, but a woman must retain some mystery.’
She squealed when he slipped his hands up inside the shirt to drag her against him. ‘Your body is a privilege I don’t deserve, but I am willing to dedicate myself to studying it.’
Ginny marvelled that, for all her previous tiredness, she was bright as a robin in winter as she tugged the shirt over her head. Grasping his wrist, where her black-and-beige hair tie now sat, she lifted his hand to her sternum.
‘I give you full privileges.’
Instead of tackling her to the bed, as she’d rather hoped, he moved his thumb half an inch over her skin. ‘Just because you’re beginning to see the shades of grey doesn’t mean you won’t find someone special one day.’
‘I don’t think you’re allowed to comfort me about that,’ she replied tartly. ‘You’re allowed to disavow relationships and be a bachelor. Maybe I’ll decide to do that.’
‘Is that what you really want?’
‘I certainly don’t want a lacklustre relationship,’ she said. ‘That’s one good thing that’s come from this stupid existential crisis. I’ll be more careful now.’
‘Good.’ His tone was clipped but emphatic. Finally, his fingers trailed down the centre of her body. The touch was powerful. ‘You deserve all the green flags, Ginny – someone who’ll protect your dreams.’
‘Maybe,’ she agreed, already breathing hard, ‘but for now, I want all your red flags.’
She woke up in a puffy bubble, her nose slightly blocked, her throat sore and a deep lethargy in her limbs – along with an incongruent shimmer of well-being.
The weak sunlight streaming in through the gauze curtains made her want to stay in bed all day, preferably with Rhys. But the man himself wasn’t in the bed.
A cool breeze shifted the curtains and she sat up in confusion, rubbing her face. He was outside on the balcony. She slipped out of bed in his old T-shirt to see what he was doing.
‘Shit, it’s cold!’ She hopped back onto the carpet in the room.
He whirled around, camera in hand. ‘Hey. Sorry, I opened the doors for some fresh air. Did it wake you?’
‘I need to get up anyway,’ she said with a frown, glancing around for something to tell her the time.
‘It’s just after eight,’ he told her.
‘Damn, I’m going to have to sneak down the corridor somehow when everyone’s up,’ she groaned.
‘You’re really so worried about the others finding out?’
‘You’re not?’ she asked doubtfully. ‘You’ll get the third degree from Tita and probably Sophie.’
‘Good point,’ he said with a grimace.
‘And I’ll get a lecture about falling for the wrong kind of guy – and overblown pity when you leave next time – because they’ll all assume I fell for you. No, thank you.’
She expected a laugh, even an indulgent chuckle, but he was still and silent.
‘Don’t worry,’ she said with a grumpy sigh. ‘I’m not falling for you. Why does everyone think I’m so hopeless about this stuff?’
‘That’s not what I was thinking.’
He was giving her the ‘look’, the one that had unnerved her for months before they’d started actually talking. She didn’t want to know what he was thinking.
‘Oh, my God, how did you manage to get this balcony?’ she asked, changing the topic instead. ‘I only have a little window. If I stick my neck out, I can glimpse the lake, but this is gorgeous.’
‘Maybe they’re hoping I’ll share some photos,’ he responded drily. ‘You’re welcome to use my balcony any time.’
She wasn’t sure if she was imagining him pulling away from her. Perhaps she’d imagined the heat and intensity of last night, although she doubted it. Her imagination wasn’t that good.
‘Be careful what you offer,’ she joked. ‘I might be constantly on this balcony until Sunday morning.’ Crap, it was Friday already. They had only two more days here and she was definitely getting vibes suggesting that would be it for this fling.
His answer was just a nod and a faint smile.
‘I’d better—’ She gestured with her thumb over her shoulder, then escaped back into the room, shivering as she pulled on her jeans. Rhys didn’t come in from the balcony. He just stood there, watching her warily. He made no move to say goodbye.
Frustrated – with him and also herself – she stomped over and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. ‘Thank you – for last night.’
He raised a halting hand to her hair, brushing his fingertips lightly over the tangled strands, and it went a long way to soothing her, whether that was what he intended or not. ‘No need to thank me.’
‘I’ll see you later.’
‘Why is it so hard to say “no” at a breakfast buffet?’ Ginny mused to herself as she filled her plate with cheese and a couple of slices of sourdough bread, a boiled egg and a piece of apricot cake.
‘I thought it was hard for you to say “no” in general,’ a voice from behind her said drily.
She whirled around to find Sophie clutching a cup of tea, picking her way among the tables.
‘Oh, hey. How’d you sleep?’
Ginny juggled her towering plate and the cup of coffee that had been her first priority on arriving in the breakfast room and took a seat opposite Sophie.
‘Fine. I was looking for you, actually.’
‘Oh?’ She hoped Sophie hadn’t looked for her in her room earlier. ‘Everything on schedule for your parents arriving? Do you need me to run interference? Do your parents get on with Andreas’s?’
Her shrug was eloquent. ‘They don’t get on like a house on fire, but it’s not Meet the Parents either. My folks don’t travel much, so I’m glad Kira could go and collect them from Innsbruck this morning.’
‘They don’t travel much? Where did you and Tash come from?’
‘No idea,’ Sophie replied with a smile. ‘But I wanted to check on you. You seem… not quite yourself.’
‘In what way? I’m the same as I always was.’ Except that statement felt like such a big lie, she had to back it up with a smile that was probably cheesy despite her best efforts to stay cool. ‘I’ve got a great speech planned for the reception.’
A speech that felt a little sentimental and empty, now she thought about it.
Sophie gave her an amused smile. ‘I knew you’d be the best bridesmaid.’
‘I was worried about what Willard would say in the best-man speech, but actually, he might do a good job. He was really nice about all the wedding stuff yesterday at the climbing park. Maybe I saw a little of what Reshma sees in him.’
‘What? Reshma and Willard? You’re kidding.’
Ginny’s gaze snapped up to Sophie’s. ‘Yeah, haven’t you—?’
‘I’m being sarcastic,’ Sophie cut her off. ‘We all know about Reshma and Will, although I’m not game enough to ask her for details. Are you?’
‘Definitely not,’ Ginny replied. ‘But I didn’t expect Reshma to be hiding such a bombshell secret about her divorce. You think you know someone, right?’
‘Yeah,’ Sophie replied with a shrug. ‘You think you know someone really well and then they start sneaking around the corridors during your wedding week.’