Chapter 28
Ginny froze, bread halfway to her mouth. ‘Uh…’
‘This is where you say, “It’s not what you think,” and we both know you’re lying and then you break down and tell me everything. We can skip the protest. Pregnant women have a sixth sense about these things.’
Ginny’s mind raced, searching for possible excuses. It was certainly true that she was reluctant to contradict a pregnant bride.
‘Fine, there’s no sixth sense,’ Sophie admitted, ‘but there’s no use denying it. I saw you unlocking your room in quite a state this morning and you have beard burn on your neck.’
Ginny’s hand lifted of its own accord to her neck, making the raw skin sting. Her face flamed. ‘It’s just casual, a wedding fling,’ she blurted out. ‘My dating ban still stands.’
Sophie’s shoulders slowly drooped as she studied her friend. ‘We were all hoping your dating ban would be spectacularly broken. That’s why Kira suggested it. Sometimes you have to take a step back when you’re looking for something – and find it right under your nose.’
Ginny thought of the months of awkwardness between her and Rhys with an inkling of a concerning truth, but she was too raw from the conversation they’d had last night to confront it.
‘Sophie, really, this is your wedding. I don’t want you to think I need anything.
What I have realised is that I can’t expect romance to solve anything for me.
I can’t commit to anyone until I’ve worked through some stuff I’ve been ignoring and allowing to fester.
Plus, I mean, I’d have to be a lot more than just na?ve to fall for him. ’
Her heart pounded a telltale rhythm that she really didn’t like. It was the ‘I’m-lying-to-myself’ melody, with a backbeat of panic when she imagined Rhys saying goodbye to her. No. She wasn’t going to fall into those habits.
‘Okay, sweetie.’
Ginny had the disturbing feeling that Sophie knew the battle waging in her head.
‘You might be having a bit of a crisis right now, but I know you. You’re built to love in a way the rest of us truly admire. You love all of us, even when we tease you and ask you to arrange elaborate weddings.’
‘It’s my privilege to arrange an elaborate wedding for you,’ Ginny assured her. ‘I only hope it’s everything you wanted.’
‘But, you know, people change. I think it’s great you’re trying to be circumspect, but give it some time. You never know how you two will change each other.’
Ginny rubbed a hand over her mouth, scared Sophie had a point. Rhys had already changed her. She’d already let him. The change would stay with her for far longer than Rhys himself would and at least, no matter what Sophie said, she knew better than to hope he would change.
She wasn’t strong enough for this. She shook her head, not sure what she should say or whether she could get any words out at all.
‘Oh, honey, I didn’t mean to upset you. I should have stayed out of it, right? Andreas told me to stay out of it.’
‘Andreas knows too?’
Sophie winced. ‘Sorry, he’s so good at being quiet and it makes me talk.’
‘I know how that feels,’ Ginny mumbled in reply.
‘Oof,’ Sophie said suddenly, her hand moving to her stomach.
‘Everything okay?’ Ginny asked in alarm.
Sophie nodded. ‘She seems to know the exact spot to kick me for maximum effect.’ She peered at Ginny. ‘Do you want to feel it?’
‘Oh yeah.’
Sophie gestured to the spot just beneath her ribcage and Ginny placed her fingers there, waiting for the flutter that would reveal the miracle of the new person growing, already with independent movement, with almost everything she needed for an entire life.
Instead of the flutter of gentle wings, Ginny felt a hard poke, raising Sophie’s skin like something out of a horror film.
‘Yikes!’
‘Not how you expected it?’ Sophie asked.
Ginny shook her head.
‘It’s so strange to think that when all the leaves have fallen, she could arrive any time and there’ll be one more family member, although I have to get her out first.’
‘Yeah, I don’t want to know about that yet.’
‘I’m pretty sure she’s been reordering my brain already,’ Sophie said with a sigh. ‘Apparently pregnancy does that. It actually alters your brain chemistry and primes you for survival.’
‘Hormones and adrenaline have a lot to answer for,’ Ginny agreed grimly. ‘I think that’s my trouble. Maybe climbing has changed my brain chemistry and given me the urge to procreate with the wrong person, although, don’t worry, I’m being safe.’
‘Good for you, although I couldn’t judge you either way,’ Sophie said ruefully. Rubbing her stomach, she drooped slowly. ‘You know Andreas wasn’t ready for this baby. I still feel bad for how it all happened. I should have been more careful with the malaria tablets and all the timing.’
‘And how many times have you told him that?’
‘Several,’ Sophie replied drily. ‘But I’ll probably always wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t got pregnant – how long it would have taken us to get married.’
‘It is a bit of a red flag,’ Ginny joked, waiting for Sophie to respond, but she didn’t share the joke the way Ginny expected.
‘I am looking forward to today’s outing though,’ the bride said brightly. ‘It will be a shame I can’t drink the new wine, but I’m looking forward to visiting Andreas’s uncle’s farm. I might speak to Rhys about taking some posed photos, because it’s supposed to be a beautiful spot.’
Ginny waited for a little dig about Rhys but Sophie didn’t so much as wink. She hauled herself to her feet, supporting her back with one hand.
‘You know, if you ever want to talk about this… casual thing, you can. If not with me, then with Kira. She knows more about that.’
Part of Ginny was tempted to let it all out. When Sophie squeezed her hand, she nearly opened her mouth to do just that, heedless of the mess that would leave behind.
But Sophie spoke first. ‘You can have your privacy if you want, though. It takes a bit of getting used to, imagining you and Laurie.’
Ginny’s throat closed and she spluttered, unable to temper her reaction. Sophie thought what?
‘I mean, he’s handsome. Everyone can see that. And there sure aren’t many single people at this wedding.’
‘Are you suggesting that’s a reason?’
‘No,’ Sophie said with a grimace. ‘I just thought perhaps your dating ban had helped you… broaden your outlook.’
Oh, God, Sophie was serious. She thought Ginny was sleeping with Laurie. What was worse, she had to—
Actually, perhaps it was a better idea not to correct her. It would certainly be easier to convince Sophie her feelings weren’t involved.
‘I have broadened my outlook,’ she said evenly. ‘Autumn is the season of change, right? But I mean it, this thing is just casual. When we go back to England—’ She mimed slitting her throat, which felt way too dramatic the instant she did it, but Sophie knew her well enough not to be surprised.
‘Forgive me for being disappointed I can’t matchmake you, even just a little.’
‘Oh, please, no!’ Ginny called to her friend’s retreating back. Sophie’s only response was a vague flap of her hand that didn’t reassure Ginny in the slightest.
Shit, that had not gone well.
Even when Rhys had actually been an amateur photographer, he’d never felt so uncertain with a camera in his hands.
He told himself to keep snapping shots. One of the well-kept secrets of his profession was that simply taking a thousand or more photos was a good portion of the work of taking one standout shot.
Of course, there was more to it than that.
He fiddled with the settings every ten minutes or so to adjust for the quality of the light as the clouds followed their lazy path across the autumn sky.
Monitoring the position of the sun was second nature.
He’d also noted the location of the fence stakes keeping the curious goats from the wedding party and was carefully avoiding the unsightly stack of pallets next to the big farmhouse.
There wasn’t a lot to spoil the background here on this hillside farm.
The gold and orange leaves created a perfect splash of interest against the sky.
Even lightly blurred in the background, the pine and larch forest in the distance would create a stunning backdrop of colour, more jagged peaks looming above.
But the wedding guests in their colourful smart casual felt like an unsupportive audience at an oddball talent show.
He tried to tell himself they weren’t looking at him, but he still felt exposed behind the Sony that he hadn’t properly got to know yet.
He should have invested in a telephoto lens.
Papping the wedding would have been so much easier than coming close enough to frame and snap portraits – and share in the awkward moments when the parents of the bridal couple met and made stilted conversation about how quickly the wedding had come together.
Sophie’s father was a stiff man with thinning hair and a tweed jacket that was easy to remember. Her mother was wearing a pair of large, bronze hoop earrings. They huddled together as though it were them against the world, and Rhys could guess why they had decided not to stay the full week.
It made him imagine introducing someone to his mam now, after all these years of being comfortably alone. She would love Ginny a little too much, except that would never happen. Her parents – her father and stepmother – would probably be worried if they ever met him.
He remembered Ginny offering – what felt like months ago, but it had been only four days – to assist him with identifying guests and he’d shut her down, troubled by the idea of spending too much time with her.
It felt ridiculous. Now he knew exactly what to do with her – when they were alone, anyway, which was another complication.
Ginny was never alone.
As he captured Indiscriminate Male Wedding Guest talking to Female Wedding Guest with Purple Hat, Ginny was mingling as though she’d been born for it.
She was wearing a warm maroon dress that made her skin glow.
It had a wrap-around thing happening on her chest, folds of material that caught the light – and snagged his attention – continually.
He was not having a good day when he was taking amateurish portraits of strangers and he couldn’t keep his eyes off Ginny’s chest. He gave in and snapped a shot.
He’d fiddle with the highlights and contrast on the computer later, but he had no idea how he’d frame it, or what her face had been doing while he’d been staring at her body.
‘She looks lovely, doesn’t she?’
Rhys jumped. ‘Who?’ he asked Andreas, a knee-jerk response he hadn’t thought through.
‘Oh, that’s Ginny. You didn’t recognise her?’
Shaking his head was easier than lying outright.
Andreas tilted his head to speak conspiratorially. ‘I didn’t believe it, but Sophie tells me Ginny and Laurie have been sleeping together! Look at them. I think I do see something there, as strange as that seems. You can’t argue with taste, I suppose.’
Rhys had to blink back spots in his vision as he waited for the shaft of panic to recede.
When he studied the man next to her, he concluded it was Laurie, despite the unfamiliar sight of him in chinos and a collared shirt.
As he watched, Ginny smiled up at him and he clutched her elbow in a brief touch.
They were not sleeping together, but he still felt sick hearing the gossip.
‘She says it’s very casual and we shouldn’t interfere, blah blah. Sophie wants to interfere, of course. I’m trying to talk her out of it.’
Rhys wished he’d never agreed to this wedding – or kissed Ginny. That last part was a lie. He’d kiss her again without a second thought. He just wished it didn’t hurt.
‘Good luck,’ he said as steadily as he could.
Andreas clapped him on the shoulder and gave him a wave as he headed back into the crowd of milling guests.
‘Uh, Andreas,’ he called after him, too restless not to react. His friend turned, lifting his chin to prompt him. ‘I, um… I didn’t get a chance to say the other night. The job in Canada – it’s two years. Maybe permanent. I’ll be… gone a while.’
He had a lot of trouble reading Andreas’s facial expressions when his friend was silent, but when he spoke, the reluctance in his voice was obvious. ‘You were scared I wouldn’t be happy for you? That’s amazing. I mean, we’ll miss you,’ he muttered gruffly.
‘Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. There was a lot of wedding… stuff.’
‘When do you go?’
‘Two weeks from Sunday. I’ll go spend some time with Mam.’ He gave himself an ‘out’ in case he wanted to avoid Ginny.
‘Okay.’ Andreas’s heavy sigh was close to disapproving. ‘I’ll hate to see you go.’
All Rhys could do in reply was shrug.
‘But I can see why it might do you good, a big change. I hope it means you’re moving on with your life.’
That comment made him think – unhelpfully – of Ginny once more. He searched her out again, helpless not to. She felt like some kind of step forward, but he knew that direction was a dead end.
How the hell had Sophie got the impression she was sleeping with Laurie?
‘It’s… time for a change.’ He gestured to the glowing willows dripping colour over the drive. Then he lifted his camera and caught the shot of Andreas before his friend could pose.
‘You’ll visit, right?’ Andreas asked quietly. ‘You’ll have to meet the baby.’
‘Of course,’ he answered. One day, the prospect wouldn’t be quite so daunting.